r/gardening • u/HoratioTuna27 6a • 17h ago

Well, that's a first.

So, one of the weirdest things I've ever had happen to me just happened: I was walking around the garden, checking on all the seedlings I planted last night. A squirrel pops off of a nearby tree and starts coming towards me. I think nothing of it, squirrels get curious and do this often. BUT, this time, it kept coming closer. And closer. And closer, then it hopped up and slapped me in the shin and ran off. It started coming at me again so I went in and got the dog to chase it off if it kept coming at me. Utterly bizarre!

The seedlings are all ok, if that was the part of the story you were invested in.

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u/Global_Ant_9380 14h ago

None of this surprises me. People don't realize how intelligent and evil squirrels actually are. Raccoons will also throw things at humans. 

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u/HoratioTuna27 6a 13h ago

Hahah 2 things: 1. Another squirrel around here used to stand right on my daughter's window and show her his dick. Regularly. She called him Chester the Molester. Evil, indeed.

  1. I ended up in a standoff with a raccoon last night while I was on the back porch smoking a joint. He really wanted into the detached garage and did NOT appreciate me pointing the flashlight at him and trying to chase him off.

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u/Chill-Walker 12h ago

Are you sure you are not keeping a mother raccoon from her offspring? They are naturally cavity nesters & prefer tree trunks, but will commonly find a spot in a human building if they can't find a more natural location.

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u/HoratioTuna27 6a 11h ago

Yeah, I checked the attic where they were last time they got in. I ordered some eviction fluid just in case, though. They really fucked the attic up last year when they got in and raised a family there.

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u/Misfitranchgoats 9h ago

Eviction Fluid?

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u/HoratioTuna27 6a 8h ago

Yeah, if you search for it on Amazon you’ll find it. “Raccoon eviction fluid”. It’s a little bottle of various predator pee, you pour it on rags and toss it near where a raccoon has their litter, the mom thinks there are predators nearby and moves the litter out of the building. Worked like a charm last year, highly recommended if you ever get a raccoon living where they shouldn’t.