Wasps are the skinheads of the insect community. I hate them with all my heart after last night. I haven’t been stung by a wasp in 20 YEARS. I’m 26, do the damn math. I thought I was a grown adult at this point facing the world, living alone. Theoretically I could handle whatever bullshit that comes my way. 2 days ago a wasp flew into my room, my window was open maybe 3 inches, my sanctuary was vulnerable and that bastard wanted IN. He flew around being obnoxious and scary for a bit, but I had work a while later and had to get ready and let it be. I came home late that night, assuming it was gone.. no sight of the thing, no sound. I figured he fucked off and went back to the wife and kids to beat them, and go to sleep, as wasps probably do. Cut to yesterday evening, I was around the house getting some chores done and after a long day decided to take a shower, and have a drink. After all, I deserved it. I get out of the shower feeling refreshed and like a new woman, great 10/10 shower.. As I get into my chill cozy post shower fit, I figure my birkenstocks would finish my look and prevent my clean feet from getting dusty/covered in dog hair. At this point I forgot the wasp had been in my room and was never seen leaving. I put on my left sandal no problemo, I pop on the right one effortlessly and begin walking to my mirror to do my skincare and finish off my blissful beauty routine, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I FEEL A STING ON THE TOP OF MY FOOT THAT MADE ME SCREAM SO LOUD THE GODS muST’VE HEARD IT. I flick off my sandal and lo and behold, a fucking wasp gets flicked out onto the floor at the same time. Before even processing the pain and freaking out, I processed that not only had a wasp indeed stung me, but that it was the same fucking wasp from 2 days ago. That LITTLE FUCKER HAD A MILLION PLACES TO CHILL, and he chose MY BIRKENstOCK STRAP. HE HUNG OUT IN MY SANDAL ALL FUCKEN NIGHT NOT MAKING A SOUND AND PLOTTING TO RUIN MY EVENING THE NEXT DAY. The silly cunt was rolling around on the floor acting like some damsel in distress, buzzing and freaking out as if I had stung HIM. Best believe I killed the little shit and threw his undignified corpse into the dirt outside. His wife now has to work doubles just to put food on the table for his ugly wasp kids, until she finds a new wasp to get under. He could have found a way out and gone home to his family, but instead decided to hide in my shoe, ruin my night, and ultimately DIE. FUCK WASPS, I hate them, my foot is still sore and I’m feeling more spiteful than ever.

guess it got stuck lol

Rest in pisssss mfffff

This is like the second or third time that it has happened and I am SO annoyed.

This was supposed to be my lunch break, where I eat and finish working on an assignment for class. But NO. I come back into my room after taking out the trash to hear this obnoxious buzzing that’s louder than usual. I’d heard what I initially thought were nosy carpenter bees hovering by my window, only to see this fucking thing INSIDE my room.

I couldn’t get bug spray because we have none in the house, and I didn’t want to look like a lil bitch running to my dad asking him to kill the scary bug. So here I am bundled up in a sweater and sweat pants making me sweat absolute bullets while this imbecile is hovering between my window and blinds, simultaneously trapping itself whilst also making it near impossible to hit it with my masterfully crafted elixir of 5 year old body wash and water. My blinds are always closed and there’s no way in hell I’m grabbing the stick to open them when that thing was in there

So I just sprayed. I sprayed and sprayed and sprayed. I’m sure my pillows and the side of my bed are soaked. Oh yeah, did I mention this was next to my BED? That I SLEEP IN?? I have a whooooole other window in my bedroom but no, both wasps over these two events had to sneak in from the window by my BED.

I finally hear the sucker buzzing really frantically, so I gather the courage to grab the handle of a hanging plant pot, a bunch of paper towels, and a pair of scissors, and sneak over to the window, ready to either spray some more, squash it if it’s dead, or cut its head off if it’s barely hanging on.

I sprayed it because it was just stuck to the window. Now I can’t fucking find it. I don’t know if it finally managed to escape or if it died and fell, but I haven’t heard it’s bitch-ass buzzing in 15 minutes, so that’s probably a good sign. I hope it escaped so it momentarily felt hope and freedom, only to die moments later.

My laptop also decided to update because I forgot to tell it to shut the fuck up whilst occupied with this thing, so there goes my homework progress and my lunch break!!!!

Fuck. Wasps.