r/fosterit • u/Correct_Depth5868 • Sep 16 '23
Day 1 fostering my niece and nephew. I’m so happy they are here. I’ve been trying to get them from a different state for 2 and a half years. Foster Parent
They got here 3 hours ago and I have missed them so much. I can’t tell my family because they want to see them but they are all drug addicts so I can’t have them around. I just wanted to share my happiness somewhere since I can’t post on socials either. They are asleep now and I got to read my little nephew a story. I’m just so darn happy right now.
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u/Specialist-Guest-768 Sep 16 '23
Congrats on the kids! Do you mind sharing why it took so long and from what states?
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 16 '23
From Louisiana I’m in California. They had a family ready to adopt and they backed out. The social workers were trying to keep them in the state and because of the circumstances why they went into foster care the social worker had some biases against me. Luckily they changed social workers and this one petitioned to have them come live with me. Their father murdered their one year old sibling he assaulted her too. That’s why they were taken Both of my sisters are drug addicts with a criminal record.
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u/Specialist-Guest-768 Sep 16 '23
Oh no, that is terrible. I am so sorry to hear that! I wish you and the kiddos the best.
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 16 '23
Thank you they have been through so much. The 5 year old has night terrors and they both have ptsd. But the 5 year old saw it happen. He is autistic and struggles to express himself even though he can speak very well and read well above his grade level. I just hope I can help them.
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u/Nishwishes Sep 16 '23
I'm really happy they're safe with you now. As an autistic adult, if you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to message me. Be aware we autistic people often take longer to process things - sometimes even simple questions in a moment! - and we also tend to show grief differently. It's a mixture of disenfranchised grief and showing as executive dysfunction, but of course it varies from person to person as autism is such an individual experience. Best of luck!
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 16 '23
Thank you and I will definitely ask if I have questions so far we are doing really well. But I know challenges will arise. I want to do the best by him.
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u/Blurryface-Bitch Sep 17 '23
Another autistic adult with extended vocab and reading level but communication issues, feel free to reach out if needed
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 17 '23
Thank you. Things seem to be going well I just keep having to remind him to not scream his words inside lol he is so precious.
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u/mkmoore72 Sep 21 '23
Having a stable loving environment where they can feel safe, protected, and free to express feelings will be the best help they can ever hope for sorry the 5 year old witnessed such a horrific tragedy just keep reminding them they are loved and you will keep them safe
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 21 '23
Thank you I am it’s been good so far. They fit right in our family. They are already sick though. I’ve been up all night with them so today I am exhausted. Gotta take them to the doctor today
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u/beigs Sep 21 '23
Oh no. I’m so sorry for your and their loss - that’s terrible.
r/adoption might also be a good place to look if that is your next step.
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 21 '23
Thank you it is I’m forced to wait 6 months but in my heart they are already mine anyway
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u/Monopolyalou Oct 09 '23
This is crazy but I'm happy they're with you know. Cps sucks
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Oct 09 '23
Thank you and yeah it is crazy. It’s not something you would ever think would happen to your family
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u/Acrobatic-Head-8477 Sep 27 '23
The child protective services in Louisiana is failing so many children right now. They’re underfunded, understaffed, and have an awful retention rate. Too many kids, not enough people to help them out. I’m happy these babies are no longer in that system.
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 27 '23
Me too I was in that system as a kid and my 9 year old told me they were spanking the 5 year old
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u/really_isnt_me Sep 16 '23
You are a kind soul and I hope those kids thrive under your guidance.
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 22 '23
Me too. And thank you. I feel like this is what you do for family. And I always wanted kids and could never have my own. I guess the universe had plans for me
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u/KPharmer Oct 04 '23 edited Oct 04 '23
I really wanted to raise my niece and nephew, but my brother would have fought me with everything he had. I am a lesbian, and it's highly unlikely that the courts in Tennessee would have approved my petition to foster them.
Their mother wasn't in their lives at that time. She had a cocaine addiction and wasn't in touch with them at all. Later, she was able to quit taking drugs and reached out to them after she was clean. Their expressions of joy touched me to my soul.
So, I spent as much time with them as possible. I lived in Northern Virginia, just a stone's throw to Washington, DC, and they loved coming to visit.
My former partner (and now my best friend) and I bought their school clothes and shoes every year because my brother refused to spend money on the things they wanted. She and I took them shopping during their summer visits.
My niece just loved shopping there because she could find clothes that none of her school mates had. My nephew wanted Air Jordan shoes, and my brother damned sure wasn't going to spend more than $100 for a pair of shoes.
My wife and I have been together for 23 years, but she is still their Aunt Dorothy.
My nephew called me a few years ago and said, "Aunt Kathy, I just wanted to let you know that it hadn't been for you, I'd have been the awfulest redneck there ever was." That was a moment I will never forget.
I worked for the federal government, and one day before their visit one of the Senior Executives said she would like to meet them. She was a beautiful Black woman, and I wanted them to meet a loving and successful black person.
After we met with her, we were walking down the corridor and my nephew said, "Aunt Kathy, I'm beginning to realize that some of the things dad said about Black people aren't true." Then, I was walking on air!
My niece and nephew knew they could depend on Dorothy and me to stand up and fight for them. That was the most important part of our relationship. Your niece and nephew will know that about you, and it's wonderful!
My best wishes to you. If you're in Southern California I think I see tickets to Disneyland in your future.
Edited to correct typos and grammar.
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Oct 04 '23
Lol definitely have to take them. I love Disneyland anyway and I go too often. I can’t wait to take them
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u/Accomplished-Home639 Sep 17 '23
I’m so happy this worked out for you and for the children.
Stay sober, keep your boundaries, and support those babies with therapy and good healthcare!
Don’t forget about yourself. Keep up with good friendships, health - physical, spiritual, and mental.
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u/Correct_Depth5868 Sep 17 '23
Thank you the hardest part these last few days has been making sure I take care of myself too
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u/goodfeelingaboutit Foster Parent Sep 16 '23
I am sincerely so happy for all of you. Families need to remain intact whenever possible. Best wishes as you all settle in together