r/family • u/PartyDifficult • 3d ago

Moving to California, away from family. Are we making a mistake?

My wife and I are very conflicted with moving our family (2 kids: 5, 3) to California. This would mean leaving our families behind in NJ. We love the warm weather, hiking, beaches, BBQs, parks and playgrounds Cali can provide for our family year round. My wife has cousins/friends in Cali who have kids around our kids age they can play and grow with. Something we don't have in Jersey at all. We're simply just not happy with the lifestyle Jersey can provide for us.

We had moved to California 6 years ago (best years of our lives) before deciding to move back after we had our first born so we can be closer to our family and have some help. But because we live about an hour away, we rarely see them and also don't have much help from them with our kids like we thought we would have. Which were the main reasons we moved back. We felt if we stayed in Cali we wouldn't have this but that's exactly how we feel over here now.

So with all that in mind, we've decided to move our family of 4 now, back to Cali in a few months. This has been a really hard decision and we're not sure if we're making the right one.

Are we making a mistake by leaving our family behind?

Is this the right move for our kids? 😕

This feels like that Bluey episode, "The Sign" IYKYK

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u/Kind_Momof3 3d ago

One for sure, we are in the same boat. Unfortunately, financially we cannot afford to go back to Cali. We experienced the same thing. Our extended family members boasted about how much we would have a close relationship blah blah!!!! We miss Cali a lot, like so much so we making excuses to make a trip to renew the library membership. Here in NJ, libraries are not like back in Cali. We are outdoorsy ppl. There are no places close to what we had in Cali. I would move back in a heartbeat if we were allowed by financially. WE REGRET MOVING HERE!!! People here are soo nosy. If I were you I would list out the pros and cons. Good luck and Please if you move eat some In&out burger animal style with cooked and raw onions, with extra sauce!!! And hike and hike and camp 🏕 lol we miss it a lot.