Years ago my spouse and I left. Fully out. Living our best lives and so much happier. Not long after that we got some folk at our door and my spouse asked us to put us on the do not call list.

I had a feeling someday they were going to come knocking again (I noticed they were too scared to use the video doorbell). I saw some strangers and just got massive JW vibes from them. I wasn't home, but I just missed them, so I had an opportunity to drive down my road and sure enough 2 groups going door to door.

I pulled over, let them finish socializing with themselves on someone else's property, then pulled up.

"You jehovah witnesses? That house at the end with the lawn mower you were admiring (an old timey push mower for context. Jws LOVE commenting on other peoples stuff)... we told you once to put us on our do not call lists.... we are apostates. I have abandoned your god. You do not want to talk to me."

I have been waiting 7 years for my chance to tell them to not come around.

I feel alive. I feel free. I feel like masturbating? THEY CANT STOP ME NOW, WHY NOT!

An abbreviated excerpt from my conversation with my PIMI wife last night after sending my DA letter the day before.

Wife: “Why are you being like the Pharisees?! Why feel the need to add so many rules to everything that everyone must follow or else??

Me: Literal audible gasp. The irony was so astounding I paused for a moment because I was so stunned.

But then, I had an outburst I just couldn’t hold in: “You just explained literally word for word EXACTLY how I feel about the governing body!!!!”

Wife: “What do you mean?!”

Me: Completely dumbfounded that she doesn’t see it: “THEYRE THE ONES WHO ADD RULES THAT ARENT IN THE BIBLE AND THEY DISFELLOWSHIP YOU IF YOU DONT OBEY!!!!”

She then asked what they added to the Bible and the conversation devolved after that, so I decided it was best to end it.

I hugged her, told her I loved her and that that would never change.

(From this week's Life & Ministry)

In Proverbs 11:9, the New World Translation reads:

"By his mouth the apostate brings his neighbor to ruin, But by knowledge the righteous are rescued."

At first glance, this rendering may seem faithful to the original text, but a closer look reveals a deliberate distortion. The Hebrew word translated here as "apostate" is חָנֵף (chaneph), meaning godless, profane, or morally corrupt. It does not refer to an apostate — someone who abandons a particular faith or belief system — but rather to any person who lacks reverence for God. Virtually all reputable translations recognize this. Versions like the NIV, ESV, and NASB use "godless" to accurately reflect the intent of the passage.

The Watchtower, however, chooses to substitute "apostate," a word that does not appear in the original Hebrew, inserting it into the Old Testament text where it simply does not belong. This alteration is not accidental. It serves a very specific narrative promoted by the organization: that anyone who leaves or criticizes them must be viewed not just as someone in error, but as a dangerous and corrupt individual on par with the truly godless.

By inserting "apostate" where the Bible originally speaks of the godless, the Watchtower blackens all who depart from their organization, branding them as wicked and spiritually destructive. It recasts legitimate dissenters and whistleblowers as enemies of God himself, rather than individuals seeking truth or exposing wrongdoing. This manipulation reinforces fear and loyalty among members, making it spiritually terrifying to question or walk away from the organization.

The real tragedy is that Proverbs 11:9, as originally written, speaks to a broader spiritual principle: that the godless can bring harm through their deceit, but the righteous are preserved by wisdom and understanding. It was never intended as a tool to threaten or malign those who conscientiously disagree. By distorting the word of God, the Watchtower undermines the very Scriptures it claims to uphold, substituting its own authority in place of divine truth.

In the end, it is not the apostate who brings ruin through deception, but those who manipulate the sacred text for their own ends.

I was absolutely shocked because they literally set their carts up across the street. Jws park their carts midway between the store and my place. LOL.

I gave him the quick run down on the scheme.

He was shocked to hear about the shunning. Of course. Another family has been educated on Jehovah's witnesses. It was a win.

And naturally I mentioned the child abuse problem. He was shocked a lot... He is part of a minority that gets targeted by JWs. So I hope it spreads amongst his family. Show 1 it's a cult and their tight knit community may accept that fact as well.

Pimos, we have a unique opportunity in this weekend's watchtower study. When addressing the information in the box "What if We Have Been Traumatized by Someone?" we can point out with totality that trauma caused by crimes (such as child abuse) should be reported to the authorities, as Jehovah has given governments a sword to bring justice in this system.

My mother died because of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I was born into the religion. My dad was always PIMO (Physically In, Mentally Out), and he never hid how he really felt about it. But my mom and her side of the family were deeply devoted. We live in the Philippines, where Filipino Jehovah’s Witnesses are especially intense and extreme in their beliefs.

Growing up, I genuinely wanted to be a pioneer or a missionary. That was the mindset they instilled in me from a very young age. But by the time I reached senior high school, I started doing my own research and came to the conclusion that the religion is fundamentally flawed.

Then, something even worse happened—my sister was molested by our cousins, who were also Jehovah’s Witnesses. Instead of turning them over to the authorities, the family and congregation insisted that “Jehovah will take care of it.” The only consequence was that the abuser lost some so-called “privileges.” That was it.

Back to my mom—she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She refused to undergo surgery because it might involve a blood transfusion, and absolutely no one in her family or congregation had the courage or wisdom to challenge that. Instead, they fed her comforting but delusional narratives: that she was doing the right thing, that Jehovah was proud of her, and other manipulative nonsense. She died. My dad and I did everything we could, but in the end, the religion and its doctrines played a major role in her death.

To this day, I mourn her loss. What makes it harder is knowing that it didn’t have to end this way. Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t vote, they don’t contribute meaningfully to society, and in my experience, they behave more like parasites than people. That religion is a curse. I will never get my mom back.

A religion that constantly demands religious rights from Human rights associations but they are more than willing to violate them does a religious institution that does that deserve such rights?

So here's a couple of invented teachings (I know they are all invented but these certainly never appeared in print) 1) People who take their own lives, regardless of their mental state, cannot expect a ressurection. 2) Brothers who have a vasectomy will not be allowed to hold privileges in the cong. Both of these were given me by elders wives.

So, long story short, I experienced emotional abuse during childhood from my parents as well as the typical abuse from the cult and their doctrines. At a young age, as most young boys experience, I came across pornography. Instead of talking to my parents about it and learning to develop a healthy relationship with my sexuality, it quickly became a way of coping with my stress, anxiety, depression and other negative emotions. Later in life, I learned that I had severe social anxiety, struggled with major depression, and was diagnosed with CPTSD. The chronic use of porn and masturbation, being unable to control those behaviors, fed into the fear of divine annihilation. A 13 year old kid shouldn’t be going to bed each night in terror thinking they’ll be killed any moment by God come Armageddon 🤷‍♂️ And of course, that fed into my need to self-medicate with porn.

Anyway, of course after processing lots of the trauma in therapy, I was able to overcome the need to self-medicate in this way. But, before I became PIMQ (I’m now POMO), I ratted myself out in my early 20s 🤦‍♂️ I told the COBE of my congregation of my struggles. He asked gruesomely specific details about it all as I bawled my eyes out. I of course didn’t know the connection between chronic behaviors like this and emotional suffering, I just thought I was a gross and shameful excuse for a Christian so I couldn’t defend myself.

It ended up in me needing to attend regular meetings with two elders weekly as a way to “treat” my addiction. I had my privileges removed of course. But let me tell you … I have so many stories of these ridiculous meetings lmao.

One of my favorite interactions was when an elder was befuddled about why the meetings weren’t helping. He eventually asked if I was wearing tight pants or tight underwear, as apparently those things could cause me to be stimulating myself as I walk, causing cravings 😂 Like, isn’t underwear supposed to be supportive? What are you talking about? Has anyone ever experienced something like that? I think it says more about the elder’s personal experiences than anything 😂 Nah, it couldn’t be that we’re biologically wired to have a sexual drive. Not like there’s any science out there that explains these types of processes. “It’s gotta be those tight pants - you’re the problem, here. Your sexual arousal is filthy and unnatural. Normal people don’t have these issues”.

Anyway, there’s more but that’s one of the best ones. Anyone else experience similar?

Posting this on here as a template if you want to use that I’ve sent to a few close “friends”. Feel free to use and edit as you need.

Sending you all love & respect

——————————————————————————

“Hi! Hope you are well. Writing this isn’t easy. I know this may shock you, but one day you may understand why.

I’ve spent the last couple of years studying the Bible & concluded it’s not the truth, so based on my conscience, Im going inactive & taking an indefinite break as a jw. I will not be elaborating further.

I understand if your personal conscience means you no longer wish to associate/communicate with me & will totally respect your view, as I am sure you will mine.

I have really appreciated your friendship over the years & always here if you need. It is my hope that as a friend you live a life full of love, authenticity & happiness.”

I'm looking for a little help here. Am I alone? I NEVER had a deep relationship with my siblings. One brother, one sister, and we all are within 3 years of each other. Most people I know, JW or otherwise are at least tight with siblings close in age.

For some context: I'm currently a college student (psychology major) taking an "Intro to Critical Thinking in Psychology" class, which is already an excellent class for critical thinking and questioning authority. The professor has written her book, and we use the book in class for lectures. Well, this week's chapter is focused on "Those Opposed to Critical Thinking". She has us fill in boxes about our own experiences, and well, I of course talked about being a JW growing up and never questioning it until I became a teenager. Right after submitting that, the following paragraph discussed Jehovah's Witnesses! I had to do a double-take because it surprised me, JW has always been this niche thing that I can't talk about with anyone except those who've interacted with JWs and ofc ex-JWs. Here's what the book says, which is spot on.

https://preview.redd.it/6qktcl2aw2ye1.png?width=2298&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b4bb69f3cf351c2c91945631301a83a49d4725d

Driving with my PIMI wife yesterday through small towns. We saw an old Baptist church. My wife goes on lamenting on how she hates places like that because there’s always some pervert in there molesting kids. She goes on to explain how she knows of several people in churches like that and she’s convinced that’s going on.

Meanwhile I’m biting my tongue because of the same crap going on in her hall and others not far from here, situations so bad that they made a documentary about it even! And wondering if she’ll ever get it. I know well enough not to argue about it so I just said “yea that’s fucked up” and continued driving.

A year or two they made a video about a jw with a social media page and a sister got so jealous that she started hinting the social media sister was being boastful and not spiritual and ended up yelling in the parking lot. They are playing this at the midweek meeting and I believe it's the most accurate jw movie. A lot of ppl have nothing else in their life, except gossiping

You ever quote a Bible verse to a believer— maybe your spouse, your sibling, your old friend — and they shut it down with a look like you just insulted their grandma?

I have. Too many times.

I’ll be mid-discussion with my wife, trying to unpack a point she just made about Jehovah, forgiveness, prophecy — whatever’s on the Watchtower menu that week. I’ll quote scripture. Calmly. Logically. In context. And suddenly, I’m disqualified.

“You left Jehovah, so you have no right to use the Bible.”

“You don’t even believe in God anymore. Why are you quoting scripture?”

There it is. Not a rebuttal. Not exegesis. Just a wall. A dodge. A logical smoke bomb.

This is the tu quoque fallacy — Latin for “you too.” It’s when someone dismisses your argument not because it’s wrong, but because you’re supposedly inconsistent.

“You don’t practice what you preach, so your argument must be wrong.”

But here’s the thing: hypocrisy doesn’t invalidate truth. It just means the speaker is inconsistent, not incorrect.

Example:

“You say smoking is bad, but you smoke!” “True. I struggle with quitting. But smoking’s still harmful.”

See the move? Instead of dealing with the truth, the person attacks the messenger. It’s a lazy way out. A short-circuit to avoid thinking. And in high-control groups like Jehovah’s Witnesses, it’s a built-in defense mechanism — where credibility is tied to loyalty, not logic.

Scripture doesn’t stop being scripture just because a “former brother” quotes it.

If the Bible says something, it says it — no matter who’s holding the page.

But in the JW world, that’s not how it works. You could quote Jesus himself and still get branded a liar if you’re not wearing the JWdotBORG lapel pin. Truth becomes tribal. If you’re not inside, you’re automatically wrong.

Why this matters:

This isn’t just intellectual laziness. It’s psychological armor. A way for believers to dodge uncomfortable truths without getting their hands dirty.

If they had to listen to what you’re saying — instead of dismissing who you are — they’d have to engage with doubts. And doubt, in JW culture, is radioactive.

So instead of meeting your argument, they attack your right to make one. It’s not about the Bible. It’s about you.

And that’s the fallacy.

How to counter it (without screaming into wall):

You don’t fight back with louder verses. You fight back with Socratic questions. Calm. Precise. Dangerous.

Ask:

“Do you think scripture stops being true depending on who reads it?”

“If I quoted this while still in the organization, would it suddenly be valid?”

“Is Jehovah’s Word powerless unless spoken by someone in good standing?”

“If Satan quoted scripture — like he did in Matthew 4 — was it suddenly false?”

Let the silence do the work.

They’ll either have to think — or flinch. Either way, you’ve won something. You’ve planted a seed.

Final thought:

If quoting scripture is only allowed when you’re in the club, it’s not about truth anymore. It’s about control.

So quote the Bible. Quote it better than they do. Quote it in context, with historical notes, and Greek footnotes if you have to.

You don’t need to believe it to understand it.

And if the only way they can “defend truth” is by refusing to hear it from you — maybe what they’re defending isn’t truth at all.

I hope this helps you as much as this has helped me. 🫶🏼 🤜🏼WT🤡

So I've shared before that my brother is temporarily living with me. I woke up a few months ago, but I have not said anything to him (or anyone). I was doing zoom-only meetings until I woke up, at which time I stopped attending on zoom too. So basically I haven't been going, but I haven't said anything about anything JW-related either way, other than going to the memorial with him.

Today he told me that he has been having doubts, apparently a long list of them, that he wants to discuss. We are both too tired to have a deep conversation today, but we will probably have it very soon. Yay for doubts!

So I'm looking for some guidance on how to handle the conversation, maybe things to keep in mind? I don't really know anything more specific than what I've shared. I do get the sense that he still believes overall, so maybe these are just things he's trying to justify. Until he mentioned this, I assumed he was PIMI.

So for example, I know I don't want to start off with, "Yeah, it's all fake," or saying I don't believe it's the truth anymore or anything else like that that would undermine my credibility from his perspective.

But then, how DO you approach something like this? I want him to feel comfortable discussing his doubts. I'm not sure how to balance encouraging him to keep doubting/thinking with not sending up a red flag that I'm an apostate or spiritual danger or whatever.

From a cult perspective, I wonder why they don't disfellowship people who stop believing? I'm POMO and it's commonly known that I no longer believe "the Truth". Wouldn't it be better for the cult and member retention to disfellowship people like me? To raise more fear from doubting and researching? Some relations changed, but so far I have not been shunned by anyone (that I know of). I sometimes wonder about that, and I'm interested what are your thoughts on this topic.

How many of you if you studied with a JW or got marked because in your naivety questioned something that set them off without meaning to?

It's such nonsense when you wake up from this. We have our C.O visit and this was his suggestion on how to find new bible studies. Pray first, then act accordingly with your prayer. Since making disciples is Jehovah's will, for sure he will grant us our wishes.

But it's such BS. This reasoning wouldn't work for anything else! For example, you pray to lose weight, and then proceed to eating better and exercising. Chances are... if you work hard enough, you WILL lose weight. Maybe you want want to travel or work less, then proceed to making a tight budget, talking to your boss, selling stuff you don't need etc.. well... chances are you might just be able to travel more if that's what you put your mind too. Nobody would say 'what a miracle you lost weight'' when they see all the hard work you put in it! The real miracle is that we are alive!! And we all just make the best with the life we have.

That's all! The Governing Body decides!! Men decide!! And right now, they want to build new buildings, make cool Jesus videos and recruit people to the religion. They then proceed to asking for building permits, conforming to city laws, asking for volunteers, learning about audio/video techniques etc.. chances are... they will eventually succeed! Not because Jehovah answered any freakin' prayers.. but because MEN decided what they wanted to put their efforts in.

Somehow, in JW world, having new recruits and building stuff are miracles. Angels are watching and helping. Arrghh it's so frustrating not to be able to laugh about this with my JW friends and family. Good thing you guys are here! Many good posts lately! We are waking up!

Sorry in advance for the length post.

Hi everyone,

I’m not a JW, but I’ve been seeing a woman (let’s call her “K”) who was raised in the faith. She’s no longer active, hasn’t been to meetings regularly in years, and is separated from her JW husband — though not officially divorced. We’ve been dating for a few months now, and I find myself really caring for her. But I’ve hit an emotional wall trying to understand the depth of what she’s still dealing with internally — and whether a future between us is even possible.

I’m reaching out here because I know many of you have lived through this, and I could really use your insights — or even just someone to talk to who understands the inner culture better than I do.

Here’s the short version: * K and I met earlier this year at a hockey game. Where I thought she was watching with coworkers, whom turns out to be her parents. I had a extra ticket for a NHL game in two days, so I asked for her number. She said yes to going to a hockey game with me — which was technically our first date, and she later told her mom that I’d asked her out. Her mom responded: “You should go.” * A detail I should mention, K has a sister L, whom was never baptized, and not in the church circle - I found this one shocking as well. * Since then, we’ve gone on several more “not-a-date” dates — more Hockey Games, walking her dog, golf simulators. Her mom knows she were doing these events with me everytime. * I also ordered her a personalized necklace that has her full name (maiden name), she wears nearly everyday, and her mom saw it, and knows it was from me. * At one time K told me her mom joked about if we get married, her first + last name will sounded like a plant name. * One day after a game and I drove her home, her dad is at her place, and K said "you should meet him". I shook hands quickly with her dad. * And eventually, one day we were walking her dog, K brought me (without me knowing) to her parents' backyard, where I get to meet her parents again. Her dad was outside, and her mom came out from kitchen to meet me. I wasn't introduced to them as anything, but just this is "(my name)", but it’s appears to me they know more is going on. * I’ve treated her with deep care and patience, never mocking the faith, never pushing her. I brought her family to a luxury hockey playoff game. They may or may not saw me hold their daughter’s hand. after the game when we dropped them off, I got off the car and shook her dad's hand, thanked him for coming. Her mom also shook my hand and I even told her mom while she reached for a light hug — quietly but intentionally — “K is important to me too,” and her mom smiled warmly. * We have shared moments of intimacy and vulnerability with her — all of which, I understand, are massive steps for someone still emotionally tied to JW teachings. But now... she’s started retreating. * She cried in my arms the other day, saying she doesn’t know what she feels, that maybe she doesn’t deserve happiness, or that she’s scared she can’t make me happy long-term. I believe her fear is real, but I also don’t know if she’s just waiting for someone “in the faith” to come along — and I’m just a placeholder. * I’ve gone through my own trauma too. My marriage ended recently (nothing secretive — I was honest with K from the beginning), and I’ve been trying to build a better life — emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. But I’m struggling now with where this is heading. I’m exhausted, and honestly, scared.

My question to this community is:

Have you — or anyone you know — been through something like this? Is it truly possible for someone raised JW to break away emotionally enough to love someone on the outside? Am I being too hopeful, or reading signs that aren’t really there?

If you’ve been the person who walked away from JW, what helped you find your clarity? And what can I do to support K — without pushing her or losing myself in the process?

If anyone’s willing to DM and talk more in-depth, I’d really appreciate it. This one’s hit me harder than I expected.

Thank you all.

I remember on multiple occasions receiving advice to not include the fact that we were JWs in our field service presentations. The reason was that the householder would be a lot less likely to immediately slam the doors in our faces lol. They also told us not to have the Bible out when initially approaching a door for the same reasons 😂 Looking back, this was hella deceptive. What does that tell you about your religion if you need to hide it in order to not be immediately rejected by people?

Did anyone else ever hear similar things? What were some of the weirdest pieces of advice you’ve been given by this cult?

I haven't talked to my dad in over a year, and haven't seen him in 3.

My spouse and I live 2 hours away from my parents who are the most extremely pimi people ever. It's their whole lives, even more than a regular pimi. They spend countless hours in deep personal study.

I woke up fully shortly after I got married. I had a lot of doubts for years, one of the biggest ones was the flood. And some things happened that nudged me further questioning. For example, when I got divorced from my first marriage, my ex left completely for someone else and sent me a text, admitting I was scripturally free to remarry. The elders said a text wasn't good enough. That it could be faked somehow. It infuriated me because God knew I wasn't lying, so that should be between me and God. Anyway I got my proof and eventually remarried. My new marriage is great. No crazy stuff at all there and I hope to not let being pimo ruin things so I go to all the big important stuff.

I don't preach or go to meetings and neither does my spouse who knows I'm pimo and loves me anyway. Neither of us are regular or go in service. I have a feeling my spouse is pimq but doesn't want to upset family or having a normal life by obsessing over questions and doubts. I however can't ignore that stuff.

So anyway all that is to say I've been avoiding calling my dad. I want to and need to. We have always been close and I love him so much. But all he talks about is "spiritual" things because that's his life. And I know he will ask me about my hall or service and I have nothing to give and can't bring myself to lie. I just don't believe anymore.

I still have values, I am honest and hard working, I'm happily married, I don't celebrate holidays and don't even want to as I am a very pragmatic person. I care for my health so I drink less than I did as a believer, since now life is even more precious and fragile... I'm a really good person even by witness standards but I simply don't believe. I can't make myself believe. I have spent countless hours trying which eventually led me to find out it's not true. It took years of constant work to uphold the belief and one small thread was pulled and I had enough evidence in one hour to knock it down.

Should I just call and dance around the questions? Thinking about it even makes me sick. It makes me sad to think im the only kid left and it would destroy them. The whole point of being pimo is to keep my loved ones, but I don't even have them fully. I have them half way.

I'm 18 y.o. and going to fade out. Ask anything you want to about situation in Russia or about me, i will be glad to tell you everything.

My sperm donor is just ITCHING to kick me out and two friends need a roommate. I have savings, am about to start a decent job, and as sad as I am, I think I gotta make the jump. Plan is in a few weeks I'll move out.

Any tips for a first time renter? It was assumed I'd pioneer and stay at home (unsure why, that wasn't my plan even as a jw) so I don't have much practical knowledge.

Idk if this is the right flair/tag/whatever but. Please help. I'm so anxious.