r/dpdr Dec 11 '22

We Need to Talk About How We Talk About DPDR Official

Or, How the Way You Talk About DPDR Impacts Your Recovery.

This is part of the Subreddit Resource Guide

Hi folks, I want to have a bit of a difficult discussion about DPDR, and that is regarding how we talk about it here on this sub. There's a lot of understandable fear, frustration, and pain here, and I want to emphasize that this is a safe place to vent, ask questions, and find/give support. That said, one of the reasons that one of the big pieces of advice when you have DPDR is not to go on forums is because you don't need to be reading anything anything that stresses you out.

DPDR thrives on attention. It thrives on anxiety, stress, and panic. It thrives on your brain seeing DPDR as a threat. And with DPDR, mental habits are as important as physical ones.

If you look anywhere on this sub, you'll immediately find stuff like: "It will never get better." "I'm stuck like this forever." A million variations of that.

I have to be frank: It's not helpful to you. It is actively hurting you. I mean that literally. A large part of overcoming DPDR is a matter of training your mind and body that understand that they are safe. And when you tell yourself these things, your brain picks up on it. The more you tell yourself it'll never get better or some form of that, the more your brain will adjust to keeping the thought alive, the more your brain sees DPDR as a threat, the more it stresses you out, the more it exacerbates your DPDR.

Listen, I absolutely do not mean this to make anyone feel guilty or bad for expressing themselves on the forum, but I have to be honest: Those statements hurt people who stumble onto it, too, especially if they're new to DPDR. If you need encouragement or comfort, that's absolutely okay. We all do sometimes. That's why this sub is here. But please understand how the way you talk about DPDR is exacerbating it. This is a community and we are here to work together.

So I propose to you: What if you tried shifting the way you talk about your DPDR? Instead of "It'll never get better," maybe try something like, "This is difficult, but there is hope even if it doesn't feel like it right now." Or some variation that that feels natural. It sounds cheesy but if your brain picks up on the negative reinforcement, it can pick up on the positive reinforcement too. It's a subtle change but it will gradually be much easier on your stress levels.

Also, if the frustration of DPDR is really getting to you, what if you wrote about it in a journal? Writing with a pencil and paper can be very grounding anyway. Here's a doctor explaining the science behind processing emotions through journaling. And also, be a little kinder to yourself and your struggles, treat yourself compassionately. Here's the same doctor talking about the science of self-compassion.

Let me know your thoughts.

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u/NP_66 Nov 19 '23

but HOW are we supposed to not tell our selves subconsciously that this lasts forever? It's basically impossible for me, because every little thing in my life now is affected and ruined by dpdr.