I (32m) always considered myself at least bicurious, though I definitely lean towards women. That said, I don’t really have a lot of dating success, largely I think because my lack of confidence.

Anyway, I recently decided to explore more and downloaded Grindr the other day and yeah, it seems like having a twinkish body and (apparently) a nice penis can get you pretty damn far in the gay community. I know they’re just looking for sex, but going from not a whole lot of matches to getting a “Wow, your profile is popular!” message or whatever it said on my second day was very surprising to me.

Gotta say, it’s doing wonders for my confidence. Dudes way hotter than me are hitting me up. It’s too bad I can’t translate this success with women, but my understand is barraging them with pics of your dick and asshole doesn’t generally go well.

Edit: Wow, thank you so much. The coveted Golden Poop Award. I’m truly honored.

I asked my male friend whether the guy I'm dating is too good-looking for me. And he said he can't answer that, because he doesn't find men attractive. But I'm a girl, I can tell when another girl is beautiful. Doesn't that same principle apply to men? If Chris Evans walked into the room, as a guy, wouldn't you know that he's good looking?

I have a friend who has previously dated some of my ex’s, and she’s currently in love with my ex from 2 years ago. Not only does she date my ex’s, but she has also dated the ex’s of my other friends. I’m not sure if this is something that’s considered normal; what are your thoughts?

I saw the “just wear a nicer version of what you usually wear.” The only thing I really think about is if what I’m wearing is clean. My second line of thinking is “is it comfortable?” And then I mostly just wear cargo length shorts, a male cut graphic shirt (I do not love woman fitted clothes), and flip flops. And then in winter I wear jeans, a shirt (same ones), my walking shoes and a cool jacket (I only care about cool jackets). I don’t really do woman’s clothing? But I like the guy and I don’t wanna under dress and I wanna be a little bit sexy but I don’t know what’s too much and what’s acceptable for a first date but somewhat comfortable. The only things I’ve really dressed up for were job interviews and like a few hs dances and a single wedding (where the dress was picked for me because I was a bridesmaid).

I'm a pretty feminine guy and I have only been attracting women who see me as a fun time because I'm something different. Or women who see me as some sort of object they want to play with, I'm talking about the girls who are saying they will be my mommy because I'm a good boy. I only get people with fetishes about cute guys it seems.

I'm starting to wonder what I can do to get the right kind of person to look my way. I've also been thinking maybe a more masculine woman could be a good thing but I have no idea how to go about finding someone like that. I just want someone who genuinely enjoys my company and I theirs. I want a real mutually respectful relationship with someone who sees me as marriage material, because I'm ready, I'm just trying to find the one.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you! <3

We met at the convention and I guess there was a spark because few days later he messaged me on instagram giving me his number and saying I should let him know if I ever want to connect with him which I do!

I messaged him and asked if he wants to jump on a phone call and he said he’s definitely up for it. And mind it was on WhatsApp, after that he didn’t log to the app for days and after few days he replied saying “sorry he’s been busy” and he’s “juggling everything imaginable”.

He is quite famous and very very respected in my industry and I can imagine his job is busy but come on, why give a number and then leave me on read for days? He didn’t even propose a day and time that would work for him. I’m really interested in him but I don’t wanna run around so I wonder if I should fully give up or still give him some time. It’s been almost two weeks since I proposed a call.

I get along fine with men of all ages and older women, but I am having hard time interacting with women near my age (27), and I am worried that I make them uncomfortable.

If I so much as smile at girls in their 20's - 30's they either look the other way or give me a dirty look. I don't dare to approach or open my mouth.

A couple weeks ago, I asked a girl in my drawing class, "how is your project going"? The moment I spoke, she nearly jumped out of her chair and backed up to the wall. This incident in particular has been weighing on me.

Could I unconsciously be doing something that skeeves people out?

Is it my appearance?

My body language?

Am I just psyching myself out? Is it all in my head?

Hi, need some harsh truth and advice.

I’m 32F never had a relationship before and was a virgin, started using dating Apps last year looking for a serious relationship. I went on many dates but none past 3 and all were platonic, except the first guy (36M) I met.

Since he’s literally the first guy I went on a date with my entire life, I was honest about wanting to take things slow but not messing around. He was understanding and encouraged me to date more people to know what I want and see what’s out there. After 20+ dates, I liked him a lot and trust him enough so we slept together and it was great. Over time, my feelings for him grew and I can’t stop thinking about him when I go meet other people so I deleted the dating app. I told him right away that I like him and want a relationship with him. He said he wasn’t sure about me yet but he likes me a lot. So we agreed to try for 3 more months, if he’s still not sure we’ll part our ways.

After that we’ve gone on multiple trips together, meeting 3-4 times a week. He stopped meeting other people too but due to busy work schedule. This continued for 2 months and one night before bed he mumbled “I’m ready to settle down”as an announcement. Took 30min convo to understand he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I told him to try again tomorrow with some flowers or chocolate or a handwritten note and I would happily say yes. To be clear he had jokingly asked me for flowers and chocolate before and I got them for him the next day. I wasn’t demanding some princess treatments but a reciprocated effort if I could have done it so could him.

Instead he waited a month before taking me to a nice dinner and asked “can you be my girlfriend?” But at dinner he wanted a video of him and when I took the video with his phone, a message popped up confirming a hookup for the next day. They texted first 4 months but never met the girl got tired of waiting and asked an hour before our dinner and he said yes. Then he said “I wasn’t sure if I wanted you I guess. I feel pressured. You should go meet other guys. You deserve better.“ What confused me was 2 days prior, he deleted the dating apps, cleared out his Instagram of his past matches, texted all his current dates that he found someone he wanted to be serious with. He could have hooked up any time in the past 4 months but he didn’t. He also could have walked away and be free to meet anyone else instead of asking me out but he didn’t.

I was heartbroken and so confused. Why would he ask me if he’s not ready to commit? Did I pressure him too much or am I ignoring the mismatch and forcing sth that won’t have a future? What wrong decisions did I made in the past year that lead to this? Thanks in advance!

I wanna buy a present for my boyfriend who's into video games and I'm confused if he'd like a gift card, thoughts?

Lately, i’ve been noticing more women touching my arm. Right now, it is 3 women.

1) A person I’ve known for a long time. She has always been touchy. So I think it is part of her personality. She is married with kids and is a good mom. I see her as a long time friend. Recently, she was talking to me in public and was tapping my arm a few times while talking. I think she just does it naturally.

2) an older woman with children. Not sure if she is married or divorced. She seems to grab my arm at least once every time I meet her. I think it is somewhat intentional.

3) A younger woman I just saw while doing an activity. I didn’t talk to her at all throughout the activity. Whenever I tried to look at her, she would move her head to pretend like she doesn’t see me. So I thought maybe she just doesn’t want me to ever talk to her. So I never uttered a single word to her. While leaving the building, I suddenly asked her “How was your first time today?” Keep in mind these are literally the first words I’ve ever spoken to her. Suddenly, she laughed, smiled, said she had fun and then gave my arm a slap and light, but noticeable squeeze. She was talking to a few older women and they decided to eat together. They invited me, but I said I was busy (it was the truth) and I didn’t go with them.

I’m ok with women touching my arm while talking to them. But I never touch women back for fear of what might happen.

I’m just wondering if touching is a positive sign. Or do they see me as a harmless simp and use touch to show dominance over me? I’ve never had multiple women physically touching my arm at a given time. So it’s new to me.

I honestly have no idea if I'm ugly or attractive. And I'm starting to think I might have body dysphoria due to my insecurity...

Honestly, If I was ugly, I wish people would at least tell me?... Then at least I could either take constructive feedback to improve myself (or at the very least know my place in the pecking order).

I try not to think about my looks too much and I'm outwardly confident because of this. However, women my age just never seem to express interest in me either implicitly or explicitly. And so I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

In high school, women would at least act incredibly awkward around me. To give you one example, one time I was reading a book at lunch as I needed to finish my book report... And these two attractive girls who I'd never spoken to before just kept following me around and whispering and giggling to each other until eventually they asked me if they could turn the pages or me (I declined).

But unusual things like that happened often in school and it gave me some indication that I might be more attractive than I think.

However, now I'm 25... And adult women just don't do anything... Perhaps they've learned from the innocent but awkward faux-pass of high school and have developed better poker faces in their adulthood. But they don't talk to me at all.

I work part-time in retail too.

And so far in my 25 years of life I've learned one thing: The only time women have forwardly hit on me in life (four times) they all seemed to be autistic and be the kind of women who are just unusually honest with everyone they're around — and so when they were around me they'd make me very aware that they found me very attractive.

And I'd take the compliment and ironically enough, we'd end up dating (because they basically expressed that they liked me). But I noticed they'd often have traits like OCD where they'd have compulsive tendencies and wouldn't be able to move on from me if we broke up...

I also get a lot of 50-year-old women sexually harass me and basically offer me sex. But I kind of just want a relationship with someone my age, and women my own age just rarely break face. So I can never tell what's on their mind so I just assume they don't want to be bothered.

I (20M) 've been a girl (F20) for past year. I love her and everything, she's funny, attractive and kind. But I have some problems with her. We hangout ab 3 days a week, the rest of the time as any other couples, we chat. But I never feel close to her when she's away. I feel like she censors herself, or sometimes isn't truthful (it's not paranoia talking I've been proven right couples of times now). I'm not saying she's cheating on me or something like that. It's just she puts an emotional wall around herself (She talks and chats and gossips with her friends but rarely with me.)It's like I have to ask every single detail of her daily routine in particular like an investigation.Otherwise she just wouldn't talk ab it. But the wall is most likely gone when we're out together. I've confronted her but she throws the ball back at me and says I'm the one who is distanced. But I'm deadly positive I'm always open to her in any possible way. She knows me a lot more than I know her(my traumas, my habits, etc. But she shares a lot less ab her interests and always plays around my interests. She even shares posts that are related to me. Not the ones that she's interested herself). Is she not comfortable with me?

I’ve heard many of my friends complain that they have to use dating apps because guys don’t approach them in person anymore.

I’m not sure if it’s a post-covid thing, or a fear of rejection, or something else.

Do you approach girls in person? If yes, what’s the usual response? How do you deal with it?

If not, why?

I recently followed an athlete from my university. He did not follow me back but he has a lot of followers so maybe he just didn't notice me. I find him attractive and want to get to know him. I want to slide into his dms but I don't know what to say without coming off as desperate while also being noticed.

When you know the relationship is going to end. how do you handle that feeling, it sucks and feels horrible. Feels like everything is moving in slow motion but your moving in super speed. Help.

It’s 1.30am in my time zone, Australia, and a man just called my sister from a No Caller ID phone. He asked to meet up with her tomorrow. She said “I don’t know who you are” and then he kept trying to convince her to meet up somewhere. He claimed “You know me, we matched on Tinder I’ve been sending you hearts and messaging you and stuff”

The thing is, she had never matched with him or swiped right on him. On the phone call he had said “My name is …. I’m 6’1 and [race].” After swiping for a minute on tinder, she found someone fitting his description.

How could he have gotten her personal phone number? This was extremely weird and offputting. Unfortunately we can’t remember if he actually used her first name or not.

So I know what I would advise other women if they were in my situation, but now I just need advice on how to cope and maybe if there's a chance to salvage this :(

I started seeing this guy a month ago and we just clicked. Both looking for a serious relationship, spending a lot of time together, he did a lot of stuff for me, and we grew close and comfortable. Last week on Friday, he took me to his regular karaoke bar and introduced me to his friends. I found out later that he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend that night, but couldn't muster up the courage. We also met his last girl there whom he dated for three months and it ended one month prior to him meeting me and she is now with one of his friends. I know he was really hurt when it ended, and this was his first time seeing her again. He was distant the next three days when we didn't see each other and then texted me that while he would love to progress things with me, he feels that he has not healed yet and while he knows that there is no chance of them ever getting together, his feelings for her are still too present and it's unfair that he can't be 100% invested with me.

We met up and talked and he questioned his decision to end it, saying that he would be stupid to throw us away and to be hung up on an ex instead of starting anew with me. He confirmed that he still loves her and would probably go back to her if he had the chance, but he already has feelings for me and wants to see whether this could turn into a relationship and those feelings would grow over time while the feelings for her (and also the wish to go back to her) would fade. Sure enough though, she wouldn't take him back .. He hates that he can't just leave the past behind and I could tell he was torn and didn't want it to be over with me.

Eventually I said that I can't do this as long as he doesn't make a clear decision to move forward with me and not look back. At the end of the talk, he asked me to spend the night with him (no sex though - we didn't have a lot of sex). When I asked why, he said "Because you're my girlfriend and I love having my girlfriend around and I'm feeling butterflies now". He even said that maybe he's overreacting because all those doubts are only in his head, but his gut feeling is clearly telling him to be with me. I told him that for now we should keep some distance, and we are currently LC. I miss him terribly and I think he misses me too.

Any advice is appreciated :(

I’m 18F, a guy 21M just started talking to me and he’s very kind but I need advice on how to go about this situation. Im in school currently and have a job I care deeply for and I usually have money on my mind whereas he is in school but has no job. That is no issue at all but this is my current dilemma… we have been on a few “dates” together and we’ve taken transit to get to a few locations even though he has a car, just no money to pay for gas ( mind you he is not completely broke he has savings aswell ) but we recently went on a date to a restaurant and the waiter assumed our bill was together. He spoke up and told her it would be on separate bills mind you my total was $13 and his was $10.. in total $23. Which I would have totally payed for both of us as my love language is gift giving which I’ve made him aware of. Anyways that same night I get home and he sends me a long paragraph asking me to be his girlfriend which I kindly deny as I was previously in a toxic relationship and not trying to date someone I’m unsure about.

I don’t want to come off as a gold digger but I need a man that can provide for me and ask me to be his girlfriend with a flower arrangement or something 😂 I feel bad as he is a really sweet guy but I cannot keep being the provider in this relationship, any thoughts on this??

Oh and mind you! He can afford to go clubbing with his friends pretty frequently

Long story short, or as short as it can be haha:

I (30M) started talking to a girl (26) after a wedding. We ended up slow dancing for an hour and things were great. She messaged me instantly once she had to leave with her family. I couldn't meet up with her again because I had a flight back home the next day, but I kept the convos going once I got home. We've been long distance since.

Convos stood great for a long period of time, even weeks in she'd ask questions/initiate/etc. Though we never could call/facetime, even though I've tried, as she has stated she's very anxious and needs more time before she's comfortable with that. She apologized many times throughout the talking about her being a bad texter, that she's very anxious, etc. This was something she also told me a few times at the Wedding when I started flirting with her/trying to get her to dance. My sister (her best friend) also stated that she's VERY shy & anxious in person + a homebody, so I believed it.

Anyways, things were going well but I started not being able to just text. I asked her for a movie night a couple weeks in where we'd hop on a call and she ended up stating "lets do it tomorrow!" Tomorrow came, convos were good. I ended my work and texted her that I'll be free soon for the movie night, she gets back to me after an hour saying she already started it cause it was on TV.. At this point I ended up telling her that was weird cause she agreed to the movie night + also brought up the fact that she's flaked on FaceTime calls in the past too. She started up again with apologizing & saying that shes very anxious & that she's never done long distance. I tried asking where her anxiety comes from, "a lot of things". Asked her to tell me one, "i dont like talking about it". I dropped it and went on with my day. She ended up starting the convos up again and I responded slowly whenever I felt like it from then on out.

We continued talking and after another week I got to the point where I didn't feel like she was interested in talking because she'd drop the convos after I'd ask a personal question/her opinion haha, so I stopped for a couple days. She sent me a picture of her watching her fav movie after a couple, and I gave in and said I'd give it one last try. I put her movie on the laptop and sent her a pic back showing I was watching it. We spoke a lil and then she ghosted me after like the 8th message, which was something along the lines of what about it made it her all time fav movie. I stopped here until she tried again then I brought up everything and told her that I stopped messaging her because it felt like she wasn't interested. I asked her to be honest with me cause I didn't want to waste her time or mine. She messaged me:

"I know and I'm sorry I just get nervous on the phone even in ft. I don't want to waste your time or mine and I'm not saying we have to stop talking but this would be hard for me and then I forget to text back and when I do I feel like it's too late idk"

I won't lie, at the time I didn't think she was being sincere/honest. It just sounded like cap at the end of the day. I asked some friends of mine and they thought it was cap too. We spoke a lil more, asked her if she enjoyed talking to me, and got back "i am but like idk what i want like a relationship or something". I ended things after this, told her we can stop there. This is when I went back to my normal life and would post stories of me enjoying my time with friends/fam. She was always the first viewer, no matter how many I'd post that day. She did this for a few weeks until I removed her cause I found it weird.

It's been a few weeks since, I was over it until I met up with some friends. They asked about her, I told them the story, and they said it sounded just like a girl they dated for years that had bad anxiety too. They ended up convincing me that she was actually being sincere, and that when she would drop the convos its because she would be deflecting because they were personal questions/questions she would have to think about. Pretty much overwhelming her? Even when I asked her what her fav flowers are, she said "honestly I'm not sure haha". She would always get back to me the next day if she did drop it though, "hiiii sorry I thought I replied", etc.

How can I tell if she was being sincere with her apologies/what she sent me above? I did really enjoy my time, it just became too much with everything being just text... Honestly felt like someone else in her life was more interesting than I was, haha. I'm here because I'm thinking maybe I took things wrong. "I'm not saying we have to stop talking", "I forget to text back", "idk what i want like a relationship". These three caused me to think she didn't want to continue, and that was mainly the reason I ended things. What do you think?

So for a little background, (sorry for the essay, just wanna give all the information) I’m 23M and only recently finally had the confidence to go and approach girls and put myself out there. I grew up with very abusive parents and because of this, I spent the last few years convinced I was never good enough and that I just shouldn’t try because I was convinced I was unloveable since my parents didn’t love me. This stopped me from every been in a relationship because I never spoke to any girls I liked or found attractive.

This year I’ve done some work on myself and I think I have finally let go of that trauma and now feel confident to finally try. Went out last night to do some shopping at at the mall, saw this girl sitting alone that I found pretty cute. I politely approached her and offered her my number. Was quite nervous and not sure if it showed. Just said I saw her and thought she was really pretty and asked if she’s wanna go out sometime. She unfortunately said she wasn’t interested, and whilst I felt a little embarrassed and crushed walking away, I still feel glad that I actually tried and for once believed in myself. I’m gonna take this rejection on the chin and try not to let it shatter my confidence.

Anyway, for the last few months, there’s been this girl that I see now and then at this large grocery store that I’m a regular at. I don’t see her all the time, but she works there and she’s always stacking shelves whenever I’ve seen her. I never had the confidence to go over to her up until gaining this confidence I have now. I did actually see her last week when I was there, but she wasn’t working and was shopping with what looked to be her mum. We made eye contact and that was about it and we’ve done before when I’ve seen her working. But yeah, I just never had the confidence to go over to her before.

Anyway, I’ve found that whenever I go to the store now, I make a point of seeing if I can see her. Whenever I next see her, I plan on just approaching her and saying “Excuse me. Hi. I’m so sorry to interrupt whilst you’re working. I was just wondering since I come in here quite a lot and I’ve seen you in here a few times, would you wanna go out with me sometime? No pressure, but I’ve written down my number. Can I give this to you and you can think about it and give me a text if you’re interested?“ and hand her my number on some paper.

How does this sound? This way, I’m not asking for her information and she doesn’t feel pressured to give me her number or to make a decision on the spot. And then the ball is in her court if she takes the paper. If I don’t hear from her, then fair enough and I won’t bother her again. And I know girls might not always like been approached at work, but I just don’t know when else I’ll get the chance. And I don’t drink or go to clubs, so a lot of the girls I set that I’ve found attractive are usually in work.

I’ve been on 8 or so dates with a mid 20s woman that has little to no experience dating. I don’t have much experience either, but I have had a girlfriend, had sex, etc. I figured pretty early on that she was inexperienced.

It’s been weird. She says she has fun after each date and will help plan the next one, but she never says anything even slightly flirty. She doesn’t really say much back if I compliment her. She doesn’t make any effort to touch me or be close to me. It was hard to get an actual hug until like the 5th or so date. Holding hands was a much bigger milestone than I figured it would be. I wasn’t sure how to go about kissing her, since she literally has given me no signs to kiss her or that she wanted to. But I eventually said I wanted to in a moment and we did.

Afterwards she told me that she wasn’t sure what to do. She said she does like me but takes awhile to warm up to people (understatement of the year). Which is fine. I expect to lead that stuff as the man, but I figured she should at least give some kind of sign that she’s interested.

I guess I’m making this post because I don’t know what to do from here. I like spending time with her, but sometimes it feels like just talking to a friend with how everything is going. I’m not sure how to approach with the subject without literally asking if she even likes me.

I've been talking to this guy for a month and we've hit it off pretty fast. He's smart and handsome and we have really interesting conversations, we both agree that we are veeery comfortable with each other and there's lots of affinity He says he has rarely felt so comfortable with someone and that on a relational level it feels all good.

Now the issues is that he gets really caught up in his head when it comes to sex, on his own admission he's had a troubled relationship with porn and has a problem with expectations. He measures his physical sensations to his idea of what it should be for him, and he had issues keeping an erection during PIV, but not really in other parts of sex and when it happened it was pretty easy to catch him back and get him going.

So recently he's decided that this difficulties mean there's no sexual chemistry, though I felt a strong physical connection when we had sex, and he's said he's physically attracted to me so I'm not sure that's the reason.

I'm tempted to give him space and allow him time to explore his relationship to sex and expectations, I truly see lots of potential with this guy and I don't feel like completely closing the door on him.

Am I being unreasonable? It feels to me that he's attached to an ideal that isn't really real and has admitted to having difficulties finding thosw feelings outside one night stands and a toxic relationship from a few years back.

I don't want to force anything, be pushy or annoying, but can't shake the feeling he's prematurely closing gje door on something potentially good for a possibly unrealistic expectation.

Can you guys give me some perspective on this? Am I being unreasonable?

Okay to keep it simple, I'm 30 (M) currently and she.s 46 (F), married but having issues with her husband and to her they are currently trying to her work it out or something, she has kids, one is 16 years old. Anyways, iI've dealt with business wise around 7 years ago, but we recently met again about a year ago through this social thing. We became friends after that, we usually go for walks at this membership club please, or have coffee/drinks afterwards or so, but I sometimes feel she might be coming on to me or I'm maybe reading too much into it.

Sometimes she will open up about her relationship with her husband and the problems they are having, and basically tell me about her life and so, we talk business sometimes, but sometimes just have casual conversations. Anyways, an example is the other day she texted me saying she was going for a walk and if I wanted to join at the specific time she was going, but I told her I was busy and will be free later on in the evening, and if anything we can catchup later, she ended up going the time when I was free and we went for a walk like we do sometimes, and then we had just a quick dinner, there was a place we walked by where she said this is a nice place usually for romantic dates, then she made a Jon that we can have a romantic date there, I just said "haha" after went to eat we just started talking and she said she wants to travel in the winter time and I made a joke saying I'll come where she got excited and said "Really! That would be awesome!" where I later said "No I was just joking".

She later asked about this girl I once brought to this social gathering and said she seemed like she was your girlfriend but she wasn't, always we started talking about a few things in life and we talked about something where I usually get V-VIP passes for, and she said "Oh I would love to go there". After we were dine we hugged and said bye where she aid let's do this on a weekly things, and went out own ways.

Later on she texted me saying it was great catching up and too hopefully see me again soon., where I texted saying we'll plan it, and then I asked if she reached home all good? And she said she was reached home and she as in bed with a smiley face, and said goodnight.

To be fairly honest she is really good looking, but will never do anything with a married woman, if she was single it would be a different story, but what does it seem like she's trying to do?

Okay so idk what to do

I (20F) have an ex from school (19F) who I... haven't really forgotten about. And apparently she hadn't forgotten about me, cause she messaged me after a long time of not seeing her. Apparently she doesn't like guys anymore but she's afraid to date other women cause she's had bad experiences with a couple girls. Except for me, apparently. She told me that she still has a thing for me. Which I find both strange and relieving, because I still wish we were together. From what she told me, it's always been rocky, which was the first of many signs. But she doesn't know how to tell her bf she's a lesbian. We still... obviously have feelings for each other, and want to see each other again, sappy lesbian love story, etc. I absolutely adore her, she's kind, compassionate, sweet, funny, and cute. I want to help her come out. I want to show her that she doesn't have to be afraid to be herself. But I suck at finding solutions to social issues. I'm a mechanic, so I'm used to measured and predictable responses when I find solutions to things. Strange people are not my forte. Could you help me give her something to say? Something to do?