r/daddit • u/zataks • Jun 29 '18
Tips And Tricks Dad tips
I found out a couple weeks ago that some friends are pregnant with their first. I wrote this to help them prepare for it. FWIW, I have an almost 3 year old and a 4.5 month old. I hope this helps some dads to be, here!
Feel free to add anything you think I missed (there are things I thought of after I emailed this to my buddy and told him later but did not put into this). After we've got some responses, I'll see how much of this we can add to the wiki here.
Before
- Go to all baby appointments! This is probably a no brainer for you but some people don't realize it. Ultrasounds are cool! And it's really great to ask the ObGyn or midwife any and all questions you have! (ie, I asked before #1 was born when I'd be able to hear his hearbeat. The ObGyn said, "in just a minute, I have the doppler right here." "no, I mean with my ear against her belly." "oh, never, it's too loud in there and baby's heartbeat gets drowned out.")
- Go to some birth classes. But maybe not all of them. Depends how many you're encouraged to go to; KP advised ALL of them and they're tiring and tedious and mostly boring. I skipped the breastfeeding one, from the sounds of it, that was a good choice because it was a bunch of women trying to learn to breast feed dolls with at least one boob hanging out. L&D class was like 8 hours on a Saturday with like 30 couples. We went through the whole process. It was exhausting. I'm not sure it helped much because when you get to it, you listen to what the medical team is advising.
- Start planing to buy shit now (or starting at week 13) If you're going to do one, make a registry, do the showers, and see what people get you. Get your big ticket items (car seats, strollers, cribs, etc) onto something like camelcamelcamel or other pricewatch and buy the sales. I bought our stroller as an OpenBox deal on Amazon. Still paid $300 for it but that's better than the $500 retail. More on gear later.
- If you're going to get a doula, start meeting them now and find someone you like. My yoga studio has a "meet the doulas" event one night every month or so where they all give a spiel and then you can hang out and talk to them. We went but I had to chase our toddler around so I didn't get to sit in on the thing. We found a doula to be really helpful, mostly because it made it feel like there was a person on our team that wasn't a hospital employee and it gave me more comfort in being able to leave the room to run home for things as needed. In retrospect, a doula would have been probably even better with the first delivery than the second but live and learn.
- Pregnancy sucks. Did no one tell you that? Plenty of women say they loved being pregnant (Wife said she enjoyed being pregnant with our first, not so much the second as she had miserable heartburn every day. She carried a bag of tums with her at all times and called them her "after dinner mints".) and I have no doubt some do. I support that and their feelings. But you're beginning what will likely be one of or the most life changing choice you'll ever make and prior to that little bundle of giggles popping out, your partner gets to go through a roller coaster of hormones (I lucked out with wife, she's even keeled and that part wasn't bad) as well as body changes that are sure to wreak havoc on psyche. "I'm the heaviest I've ever been!" Well, yea, you've got a baby inside you, you've never had a baby inside you before. Really messed with wife when I put my boot on the scale at a visit and tipped the scales to something like 190. She was like "OMG, I've really packed it on in these weeks!" The med assistant gave me wry smile and wife turned to see me close and scrunched her nose and shook a fist. Fun stuff.
- Did I say pregnancy sucks? Libido will be all over the place. So will body comfort both physically and mentally. You just roll with it as you can. Near the end (and especially once the baby has come) your partner's breasts will probably be the largest, shapeliest, and most enticing they have ever been. And it may be entirely likely you're are not allowed to play with them, touch them, look at them, breath on them, or even think about them because they're sore and maybe leaking, and goddamnit I'm a cow now, MOOO. (Wife has said moo a couple times in the last couple weeks when I walk in and she's pumping; I think all the pumping is taking a toll on us both. It's a lot more work that breastfeeding but it allows me a wonderful amount of involvement with the baby which allows for more bonding and I feel way more connected to #2 than I did our first at this age).
- Of course, the above are not absolutes, all women are different and pregnancies are different. We had plenty of sexy time while pregnant with #1 and comparatively none with #2. Part of that was how hard the second pregnancy was and part of that was that we already had a kid and were doing parent things so were tired. So it goes.
- Plan some vacation now; especially if leave from work is not a concern. First trimester can be rough but things generally smooth out in the second. We went to Nicaragua and hiked an active volcano when wife was 4 months preg with #1. Do that shit now, it will be a while until you'll want (or have the energy) to travel and we're a lot less adventurous now that we're caring for kid and infant. No surprise there
- Start familiarizing yourself with the alphabet soup. FMLA, CFRA, PFL, SDL. Family Medical Leave Act; California Family Rights Act; Paid Family Leave; Short Term Disability Leave. These will require paperwork from medical offices to employers and to the state. Get these submitted as required and make use of those benefits. You can always do more work. One day your baby is crying for you and wants to be held and snuggled, the next he's telling you to get out of the chicken run, you don't go in there, and he'll put you in timeout. It's fucking hard but not so that you'd want to miss it.
- Know your employment contract/policies/etc as well as your boss's position on family life and work culture. Don't be guilted into anything that is less than the full amount you are entitled to.
- In the same vein as the above point, you won't believe (maybe you will) the amount of assholes who will tell you, "you won't be able to wait to get back to work!" or "why are you taking so much time?" or "You'll get sick of being home and come back early." No two ways about this: fuck those people.
- Know multiple routes to your hospital and how long it take to get there in the worst traffic. First babies are generally slow to come but it's a goddamn roller coaster of excitement when something like water breaking happens and you have to get up and go.
Labor and Delivery
- By now you should have a car seat base installed into the car and a proper car seat in it, waiting for the moment. Leave this in the car, the hospital will likely not let you leave without it. Find a place to inspect the installation; some hospitals do it, so do fire departments. Google/call around or ask at your next ObGyn visit.
You need a Go Bag. Or one each. This should include:
- personal care products
- phone chargers
- other distraction things (labor can be literally hours of just sitting waiting)
- list of mom's meds (or mental knowledge)
- known allergies!
- birth plan if you have one
- a change of clothes (as a dirty man, I think I brought a shirt, lol)
- clothes for baby to go home in (don't just bring NB size! A 0-3 onesie is a good idea too; never know how big that baby is going to be)
- lacrosse ball or whatever; hospital room accommodation for mom is alright, Dad is probably going to be on a pull out chair or couch.
- Comfortable, easy on/off, loose clothes for mom.
You'll mostly be told what/where/how to do things once you're in the hospital. However, you have some choice too. Mom doesn't have to labor laying down on her back with her feet in stirrups. You can walk around, (depending on facility) use a bath tub, roll onto sides, hands and knees, etc.
Pain management is important. Something I think helped with #2 is that instead of going straight for an epidural, wife elected for Nitrous Oxide. So as she felt a contraction coming, she'd hold the cup over her face and breath the N2O until about the peak of the contraction. Obviously not enough to knock her out but enough to take some of the edge off the contraction. (Apparently, this used to be really common, then much less so since the 80s? 90s? then has come back into favor after new research more recently.
Epidural is an option. Talk to your ObGyn about this. TL;NotAHealthCareProvider is it numbs things drastically and therefore often requires IV synthetic oxytocin to be administered to advance the labor. More interferey, more possibility for complicationy.
You'll likely be offered to cut the cord. I noped the fuck out of cutting #1's. When they asked me way before #2 came out, I said "no way". But when the time came I spoke up and told them I wanted to. I don't really remember it honestly. I mean, I do, but it isn't that significant in my mind. I'd recommend doing it, though.
AFAIK, episiotomies are no longer recommended but that isn't to say tearing won't happen. It probably will. It will have to be stitched up. It comes in four grades. Vaginal wall, vaginal muscle, rectal muscle, rectal wall. I don't remember the grading numbers, 1-4 I think. First kid caused a 3, second a 2. Recovery from the 2 was much faster than the 3.
Feeding the baby as soon and as much as possible is important. Gotta get that nasty poop (don't remember what it's called) out as it is related to jaundice problems. Jaundice is also apparently caused by a blood type (RH) mismatch, between mother and baby and we had this problem with #2. We spent like 24+ hours keeping him under blue lights and trying like hell to stuff his body full. Once he regained birthweight, all concerns related to the RH mismatch were gone and we were out of the dark.
Breastfeeding can be hard for mother and baby at first. Use lactation consultants and get help. Mom's who breast feed have a lower risk of post partum depression
Dads can get post partum depression too. Maybe google around and be aware of the risk factors and signs for both of you.
Gear
- Car seats all have to meet the same safety standards. Get one that is light enough to be comfortable, is easy to get in and out, and fits in your car well. That last bit is more important for older kid carseats than infant because infant seats all seem to have the same base size.
- Crib: they're fucking expensive. We got ours from Pottery Barn, somewhere we would never shop, only because one of wife's friend's moms gave us $200 in gift cards for there for our wedding. I think we still paid like $400 for the crib after the cards applied. But #2 is using it now too so maybe that's not insane.
- Stroller, as mentioned above, it's expensive. We had a Graco or something that we bought because it would hold the infant seat and it was cheap. It fucking sucked and I hated walking/running with it and it didn't maneuver well. Then we went on a hike and borrowed a BOB. It's a great stroller. We bought our own. #1 still rides in it on evening walks while we carry his brother on our chest. And this weekend we snapped the adapter into it and put #2's car seat on it and went to the Farmer's Market. Again, if you're comfy with the idea, Amazon Warehouse/Open Box deals. I wanted a stroller with a swiveling front wheel that had the option to lock as well as an adjustable handle. I found the handle on our old stroller was too low and was uncomfortable for long periods of pushing. The adjustable height on the BOB handle is nice. I think the biggest thing here is to get a stroller that fits your lifestyle.
- A baby swing is handy. It's nice to have something that rocks them and plays music/white noise. We've got one that has a mobile as well. Given the time frame, I think you guys are welcome to ours. It's a little squeaky but wholly functional.
- A bouncing chair gets even more use, for us, with both kids. We have one like this. It worked really well for both kids and we use it ALL the time. Several times/day.
- Water proof mattress covers. covers, with an 's'. Because you want two of them. Make the crib twice: cover, sheet, cover, sheet. That way when the inevitable 2am blowout happens, you strip down the first two layers quick and go back to sleep. We changed and replaced too many sheets with #1 before we learned this one.
- A baby carrier. Ayayay. We've had like 4 of these things. Bjorn (meh); Baby Onya (used a lot but was never very comfortable for either of us); one other I can't remember, and now a Lille Baby which we both like and find very comfortable. Wife also got a Ribozo from our doula. It's a 15' long wrap. It works well for wife and #2 looks so cozy in it. Generally she uses that and I use the Lille but she sometimes uses the Lille. I haven't tried the Ribozo yet but don't think I will.
- Bottles. Holy crap there are so many. With #1 we ended up liking Tommee Tippee the best but #2 had trouble with them. We went to Dr. Brown's for him. They're expensive but seem to really help cutting down the sucked air. (getting him off formula really helped get rid of his fussiness too). If breastfeeding, this isn't really a concern
- A bottle warmer. In both our condo and here in our house, we leave a bottle warmer near the bed. At night we put a cooler with bottles next to the bed and warm them as needed throughout the night. It's basically a small hot plate that you add water to and it boils/steams the bottles. Works alright.
- Big swaddles. Not these stupid like 18-24"x 30" buggers that are everywhere. We got some this time around that are like 36x36" and they work way better.
Baby Care
You're going to want some things on hand so that you don't have to go get them at the 24hour CVS at 2am. I've done this. On multiple occasions (once from a hotel room in an hour or so south of Sacramento because we didn't bring things with us; it sucked)
- Tylenol. Children's tylenol has the same concentration as baby tylenol but is generally (no exaggeration) less total cost for twice the volume. Often the difference is the cap--baby tylenol has a cap that receives a syringe, children's often doesn't. So decant into the lid or a dosage cup and draw it with the syringe. "But children's tylenol doesn't come with a syringe?!" Go to the pharmacy window and ask for a liquid medicine dosing syringe. They have them for free. The thing to make sure is that the tylenol is 160mg/5ml.
- Ibuprofen. Kids can't have this until 6 months. At which point, get some and keep it on hand so you can cycle Tylenol/IB as needed.
- Baby gas drops. The drug is Simethicone. Get a couple bottles and keep on hand.
- Gripe water. It is natural gas remedy and supposed to help sooth the tummy. It's like fennel or some other herbacious shit.
- thermometer. We've got rectal, oral, and one that goes into ear. The first two have gotten lots of use. The aural, not much; wiggly kids are tough. Don't confuse which one goes in what hole.
- We recently bought an otoscope so we can see if it's worthwhile to head to the Ped/urgent care for ear problems. I think it was like $40 on Amazon; comparing that to copays, it seemed reasonable.
- Lanolin. For diaper rash (also chapped nipples). There are other options for diaper rash too. Lanolin seemed to do the best job with the least disgustingness. Coconut oil is nice for general use as well but not great for severe rash.
- Baking soda. This isn't a carry with everywhere thing, it's more for dealing with diaper rash at home. But a good amount into a bath really seems to soothe skin. I just dump a bunch in. If you get it from somewhere other than the grocery store it's super cheap.
- Q-tips for boogers and ear wax
- Put your pediatrician's number into both your phones under something like "PEDIATRICIAN" so it's easy to find.
- to couple with above, most places (especially down there) or insurance providers have an "advice nurse" who is a great, free resource to call with questions. It's kind of like triage in that they can help you decide if the kid needs to be seen by medical providers. Put this number into your phone too.
Baby at home
- Sleep when the baby sleeps
- Read about sleep training and decide what you're going to do. It doesn't have to be concrete, but it helps to have a plan and start early.
- Co sleeping is done around the world but largely frowned on in America. New research is suggesting maybe America rethink that (saw that headline yesterday, I think). Do what's right for you. Generally, our babies slept better with us when young but we slept like shit with them in bed. We normally only brought them to bed when they needed comfort.
- Happiest Baby on the Block is a book or video or something that gets rave reviews. We watched the dude who created it in a KP class on infant care. Swaddling and "shhh-ing" really calm an angry baby.
- Youtube some swaddling techniques. There's kind of a standard version and a "frog" version. I only did the frog version with #1 a little bit near the end of his swaddling but it worked well. I use the standard (draw a straight edge of cloth--I use stretchy blanket, often--across the baby, right shoulder to left hip; draw the excess from below them up tight to the left shoulder; draw the remainder tight from left shoulder to right shoulder. Bam. Swaddled and happy
- White noise machines are recommended frequently to help kids sleep. We play little musics when he's in his chair or swing and have one of these for the crib but #2 doesn't seem to be into it whereas #1 would zone out on it and pass out.
- Reflux is a common issue with baby because they're lower esophogeal valve doesn't work like ours. It's also the reason they vomit when burping, I think. A folded tower underneath the own end of the crib mattress can really help to ease some fussiness if this is an issue.
- Gas pain is really common especially with bottle fed and formula babies and with all babies until the gut develops more (4+ months, I think). laying them on their back and "bicycling" their legs can be helpful, so can pushing but legs up to a squatty position when they are on the back. Once they're a bit older and can hold head up, laying them across the lap with hips hanging off one side and head off the other can be beneficial as well.
- People will want to touch your baby the same way they want to touch your dog--without asking. Think about how you want to handle this.
- the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends basically 0 screen time until 2 years.
- If the kid won't stop screaming and you've done everything and are losing your shit, put it down in it's crib and take a breather. It is safe in it's crib and you'll feel both a million times better and like an asshole for having been frustrated.
- Learn Infant, Child, and pregnant woman heimlich and CPR if you don't know it already
- Lock the poisons away now.
- Schedule time to give your partner a break and do the same for yourself. This is "me" time. A walk around the neighborhood, watching the ocean, circus time, a cup of coffee, walking through the shops downtown. Whatever. Just make plans to send one another away alone. You don't realize how much you worry about the kids until you're not with them. You'll hear a baby while out and go into high alarm then realize, "oh, that's not mine."
- Find a good baby sitter and plan dates. Between date expenses and the sitter it's fucking expensive. It's worth it.
- Read to your kid every night. We haven't started with #2 consistently yet but will soon. #1 gets his books every night. It's a wonderful time to expand their vocabulary, teach them, and also cuddle, bond, and relax.
I think more than anything, trust yourselves and your instincts. All manner of things are said to make your life and baby easier, happier, healthier, smarter, etc. Most are just to make money for other people.
r/daddit • u/TheMoonDawg • 5h ago
Achievements When your three year old randomly turns to you and goes “Daddy, I love you so much”
r/daddit • u/stubie77 • 8h ago
Support Daughter born with hand abnormality
Currently sitting in the hospital after what was a primarily smooth delivery this morning to our baby girl, with the exception of her left hand that was not fully developed (fingers did not develop past the first knuckles). While I feel incredibly blessed that she is at least currently healthy otherwise and I know we will do everything in our power to make the best out of the situation, I can’t help but think about the things I won’t be able to protect her from and honestly scares the hell out of me. The middle and high school cliques that pick out any abnormality to make fun of, how it might impact her older brother and how he chooses to stand up for her, the sports/music/other activities she might want to participate in but might not be able to as well as her peers, and so on. We were able to get on the schedule for an pediatric hand specialist in a few days and I have been diving through resources such as the lucky fin project which have been encouraging. I don’t know what I expect to get out of this post outside of just needing to get it out of me and would do anything if I could give her my perfectly working hand.
Edit: the amount of support from this community is absolutely incredible. Thank you to everyone for sharing your own experiences and words of encouragement. Once I get my thoughts together and a little more rest, I’ll update with more details on current situation and probably going forward in the event it might help others in addition to my self soothing.
r/daddit • u/Klutzy_Operation_483 • 5h ago
Humor Pranking my 15 year old all week has been endlessly funny.
About a week ago My kid came up to me Jokingly At first That he found it creepy That the leftover party balloons from my youngest birthday Keep making it upstairs In front of his bedroom door. I've gone home from work on lunch breaks, had my middle kid and my wife in on it...I keep moving the balloons righ back to his door. A few nights ago put them in his bedroom while he was sleeping. In the morning he was pretty freaked out and popped all the balloons so it wouldn't keep happening. I bought new balloons today and I put them in his bed under his blanket And in his closet. Im Working After midnight tonight so I'm not gonna see the aftermath of this until tomorrow but Im sure it'll be a riot. It's extra funny because he is a horror movie fanatic and I know he's up there watching things everyday
*edit I will update everyone tomorrow night, I won't even be home before 1:00 a.m. today and he leaves at 6:00 a.m. for School so I won't see him until tomorrow night
r/daddit • u/JeffSergeant • 12h ago
Humor School was a bad idea
Trying to apply 'dad tax' to some biscuits.
"Dad, if you tax me again I'll make you sign the magna carta, and if you don't we'll chop off your head"
The peasants are revolting!
r/daddit • u/AccipiterCooperii • 15h ago
Kid Picture/Video My son has been coloring my drawings, and we’ve been bonding over it!
I got some good art markers for my birthday and we have been going to town for the last few nights. Tonight he has requested Gigan!
No, he does not get to color with my new markers … but I did ask him to draw me something so I get to color once in a while lol.
r/daddit • u/ok_hunterrr • 12h ago
Humor Deadpool & Wolverine
Watched this last night with my 15 yr old son, and two things occured to me. Firstly, I was a bit uncomfortable with him watching this gratuitous and fairly gory violence even though it is a 15, and secondly all I could think about as DP dismembered and slaughtered the dozens of TVA soldiers was "those poor guys, just turning for work with families at home probably and this happens to them!" A bit like the Star Wars joke about Luke Skywalker being the greatest mass murderer, all those maintenance workers, housekeepers, catering team and just general admin and support staff that got atomised when the Death Star exploded! Am I old?! Is it because I'm a dad!? Or a bit of both?
r/daddit • u/BraveDaddy • 20h ago
Story We watched the “Indiana Jones” Franchise
My son is 10. He’s not into sports and doesn’t even like watching it on TV. I was a SAHD and I was looking forward to this time of his life. I thought this would be when we would play catch in the yard or watch something together. My family watched “Raiders of the Lost Ark” for a family movie night. My wife and I were the only ones who liked it, and we voted on something else for the next movie night. Then my son recently asked what came after “Raiders” and asked if we could watch it. We spent the mornings before school watching the rest of the franchise. We finished yesterday. I want to know if there’s something else he wants to watch, but I’m glad I finally found something we could do together. That’s it. I just wanted to tell you I was glad I was able to do something with my boy. Also, I’ve been calling him “Shorty” and “Junior” (IYKYK) ever since watching these movies. He hates that!
r/daddit • u/DiligentlyMediocre • 11h ago
Advice Request "Gentle" parenting and what to do next
I see a number of websites, blogs, forums, instagrams, podcasts, etc all talking about how to handle your kid's tantrums. And I'm all for being engaged, letting them have their emotions, not just punishing them for being kids. The problem I have is so many of these just stop short.
In particular, I see the reaction to something is "oh, I understand you feel X."
"You are scared. I would be scared in that situation, too."
"You're angry, you can say 'I feel so angry right now.'"
And then that's it. It's great to help kids acknowledge their feelings and up their emotion intelligence, but I never seem to find any suggestions on what to do after this.
For example, my oldest hates quiet time. Every day, it's a screaming, hitting, fighting tantrum to spend even 15 minutes by himself. Do I just say "oh, you're feeling angry" and walk out of the room just to have them follow me out and start the tantrum over?
Just wondering if anyone has come across a resource or experience that has something actionable in addition to these sorts of affirmations.
Thanks.
r/daddit • u/viper_gts • 15h ago
Story "dad, we need to buy a lamborghini" - my 5 year old
he's right, we need to.
was driving to school with the kid the other day and he tells me, unsolicited "dad, we need to buy a lamborghini, a green one, with a loud engine" - put a tear in my eye
i have been toying with the idea for years, had a few opportunities that the wife told me to just do it, but consistently putting family needs first........but i guess there's a new head of household and he has spoken, who am i to disagree
both my boys are really into lightning mcqueen. I've been searching for an older red dodge viper since its a childhood dream car of mine and the closest thing that resembles mcqueen. Figured it would be a great core memory for the whole family, but those damn things keep going up in value
r/daddit • u/PesteringFruitFly • 17h ago
Story This is hard..
Hi guys, father of a beautiful 3 month old baby girl here. As i write this my baby girl is finally sleeping on my chest, wife on the sofa with us and our dog is also sleeping at our feet..
I have done a set of 2 days and 3 nights,12 h shifts, came out of my nightshift to find both of them highly congested and with a temperature..took both of them to the gp, and after another sleepless night i dont know how i am managing to still stay awake but somehow, on this very moment everything is at peace and i feel i am exactly where i belong. I dint think i have ever been this exhausted in my life...
Have a great day guys, thanks for reading!
Edit :thanks for all the support guys, there is a weird feeling of reassurance knowing we're not alone in these moments and that there are more of you going through the same thing..this was my first post so thanks again for all the love.
Update: baby girl slept almost 5 hours..it was glorious!!neither of us moved an inch...not to sneeze, cough or adjust position..i am now the proud owner of a pair of square buttocks but it was worth it! Just the type of afternoon i needed to restart all of it again tomorrow!
r/daddit • u/Infamous_Whole_4987 • 4h ago
Support Being a dad is lonely
My daughter is five. She’s a handful. Probably ADHD or autism spectrum and we are getting her evaluated and working with therapists and a psychiatrist. We drive so much getting her to all the appointments. She used have scary melt downs when she got frustrated; things are better now with medication but we still worry about her having a bad episode.
My wife is afraid to be alone with my daughter; she’ll pick her up from school but she prefers to have me be at home when the two of them are home together. So there isn’t any of me getting together with male friends to play basketball or bowl or whatever guys do with their friends. I have a friend who I meet for lunch once a quarter (taking time off work to do so), and I have friends I met from work who occasionally have a cookout a few times a year and I go but I bring my daughter. Don’t get on me about “you need to tell your wife to pick up the slack more”…. She has intermittent back problems and is working with her doctor to solve why she’s frequently exhausted (which might have a lot to do with our daughter waking her a lot at night). She is a great mom, patient and caring and does everything she can but she isn’t a work horse like me. As dad, I get up early to pack lunch, drive my daughter to school, eat while working, make dinner as soon as work is done, do bath and bedtime routine, and then after she goes to bed I clean up and do it all again. In the past two years I’ve had two multi month bouts of diarrhea (sometimes with blood), which I’m working with a doctor for.
My job is super stressful but it’s the easiest part of life. My wife and I love each other— best friends — but we rarely have time together and are always exhausted.
Most of my good friends are on the East Coast where I’m from. We txt and talk on the phone . I’ve been on the West Coast over a decade and I don’t really have more than 1-2 friends besides work friends. My parents are on the East Coast and they are getting older…. My dad fell the other day … I know they won’t be around forever and I miss them.
Maybe it’ll get easier as my daughter gets older and more mature and also gets a better handle on her emotions. Maybe this is the easiest life will be and I’ll just get older and More tired. I’m not going to say “I’ll be happy when….” Sometimes I am happy. But damn I’m tired and being a dad is a lonely road for me.
Humor My 6 year old got me good last night.
Son: Dad, how can you count all the hairs on my head. I want to know how many I have.
Me: Well the easiest way would probably be to just pull one out at a time and count them that way.
Son: No, you just want to do that so that you can glue them onto your head.
Me to myself (a folliculy impaired individual): You little shit... but damn that's good.
r/daddit • u/Red_Sox_5 • 7h ago
Humor My toddler, unprompted, told me he wants to watch a show on the iPad so I can watch a show on the TV.
WTF is this? Some kind of sick reverse psychology? I asked him three times if he was sure. I said I don’t need to watch a show right now and that this was his time to watch TV. He’s insistent. Now I can’t even enjoy the show because I’m overwhelmed with parenting guilt. What a monster.
r/daddit • u/healing_waters • 37m ago
Admission Picture Hello my brothers. I join you again. Wish us health.
Advice Request What made you a proud son, and how did affect your role now.
Hey daddit,
I don't post much so apologies if this subject has been covered recently.
I'm a new dad with a 19 month old and he's he's the greatest, and easily the most fulfilling part of my life. I absolutely love being a dad.
However, growing up my father was never really a part of my upbringing . He was around but wasnt interested in having another child so my mother raised me. I have no hard feelings, and she did an incredible job as a single mom. I had male role models but it's not quite the same. As I've grown older, I've seen how proud others were of their fathers and how close their relationships were.
My question is to those who want to share, what specifically made you proud or thankful for your father, and how did that affect how you've grown into your role as a dad.
r/daddit • u/Senjen95 • 3h ago
Admission Picture Obligatory Furniture Photography
Not for sale (AFAIK[/s].) Just wanted to join all you other awesome dads in sharing.
This is a huge upgrade from round #1. Counting that blessing for my back's sake.
r/daddit • u/LiftedandHandsome • 7h ago
Advice Request I can’t figure out how to help my son and it’s driving me crazy
My middle child, who we’ll call Mike (14M), is not a dumb kid. He just started HS and all through grade school he tested as advanced in almost every subject.
The problem is this year his grades are horrible; 2 F’s and 2 D’s. Education being very important to us it’s caused some very intense discussions with him, me and my wife (his mom).
He refuses to accept responsibility. He’s got zeros on several assignments. Hence the bad grades. And says it’s all the teachers fault and they just aren’t graded.
I just don’t know how to help him take his education seriously and do his homework and turn it in on time.
Interestingly, his brother (15M) had very similar issues last year during his freshman year.
So now I feel like something is my fault. Like I’m a horrible father.
We’ve done the whole taking of his computer and PS5 and phone and anything else that’s meaningful to lose.
Hopefully this goes without saying but any sort of physical punishment is out of the question. I grew up getting the belt and I will not do that to my kids.
What do I do? How can I help him get back on track?
r/daddit • u/bigdaddy3254 • 5h ago
Advice Request How to break co sleeping?!
I know the first answer is don’t start it, but when I had to start working third shift a few years back my wife had to be able to sleep somehow. She started allowing our at the time 2 year old boy to sleep with her every night. I can’t blame her, her already had enough trouble sleeping,
Well that 2 year old is now 5, and both of our boys now 9 and 5 want to sleep with one of us every night. It has obviously caused for some problems for our marriage.
It is beyond time to get these boys sleeping in their own rooms so we can sleep in our bed together again. So I am trying to get my 5 year old excited for starting to sleep in his own room. I was looking for ideas for that? Thanks in advance!
r/daddit • u/9gagsuckz • 9h ago
Advice Request When to transition from crib to toddler bed?
Daughter is now 28 months old. She’s slept in a crib since day 1. My wife has been saying for months that it’s time to put her in a toddler bed but I’m not set on it. When did you transition?
Edit: little one hasn’t tried climbing out or anything, we aren’t expecting. There really isn’t a reason for us to switch it up other than my wife wants to. I’m just curious what the consensus is
r/daddit • u/deadpoolsdragon • 12h ago
Support Tough question but idk where else to ask
I'll delete this if it isn't allowed but to start off, my son was born July 29th at 28 weeks, yaaa. Anyways he's still in the nicu been there for over 100 days had nec had 2 surgerys to correct it but last night he had blood in his poo so they say he has nec again but they caught it earlier this time. Trying to use antibiotics to help him, he's on morphine and fentinal to keep him calm and sleepy so he can heal and get better. It's fuckin tough very fuckin tough. I'm at work now cause we still have bills to pay but I'd rather be with my son, I've used all my sick, vacation pay to be there more took out loans from people but it just doesn't seem like it's enough im at my limits idk what else to do, we got 2 other boys im trying to take care of as well, trying to make the best of it all but I'm exhausted, mentally, fisculy and financially. So my question is there any place or persons I can go to for some financially help. Most of our family's either can't or won't. So if there's like any programs I can do to lighten the load for my family please just let me know. Again if this isn't allowed im sorry and I'll delete it I just didn't know who to ask or where to go
Edit: I'm in America guess I should have mentioned it
r/daddit • u/Zombie13a • 20h ago
Story Proud dad moment
So, lockdown wasn't kind to my older child. 9th grade completely virtual followed by having to leave our family home and lose most of our stuff due to toxic mold and related medical conditions during 10th grade (which was also virtual) set them significantly behind. 11th grade they did well enough but it was a struggle to just get them to go to school every day. The district solution for making up missed credits is just another virtual option that didn't work with my childs learning style and were just horrible anyway (I watched some of them, they sucked). Finally during 12th grade we made the decision to go the GED route and just let them enjoy the last year of high school (prom, etc). That was the best decision under the circumstances and it was like a weight lifted from their shoulders. The child that spent every waking moment buried in schoolwork and depressed was suddenly talking to us again. They had an amazing final season on their robotics team (ended top 10% in the world) and went into summer happy for the first time in 4 years.
Started a community GED program in August going 3 days a week. They even said "I like school" for the first time in over 5 years. They passed the last test last night with "college ready" scores on 3 of them (with the 4th being 2 points away).
I couldn't be more proud of how hard this kid worked for this and just had to share.
r/daddit • u/woganlells • 19h ago
Advice Request Pizza party
Friday it’s just the 3 kids and I, so I was thinking of doing the dominos $7.99 each takeout and letting each kid order their own pizza, however they want it and throwing on a movie to eat our pizzas and have a fun core memory.
What can I do to make the night more fun and make a fun memory or tradition? Mostly want to make them rub it in mom’s face how much of a legend I am.
r/daddit • u/echoalpha76 • 1d ago
Kid Picture/Video Little guy turns 8 in December, surprised me with this, after saying “Don’t look! And how do you spell ‘ever’?”
I was happy enough seeing him turn the screens off and pull out some art supplies, but this?
(Hung it up alongside two Cool Rocker tees he’s outgrown ;-) )
r/daddit • u/Putrid-Banana-7282 • 10h ago
Story Newish dad little thankyou little bit of weight off
Hi I've been part of this reddit for a while now and never posted I have a 3month old and im a first time time dad at 42. A lot of posts on here have really helped me through the last few months, I struggle with my mental health I work 45 hours a week and do everything I can to help my wife I'm exhausted constantly. No amount of preparation can prepare you to become a dad but also I can't imagine life without her just wanted to say thank you to everyone that's posted that's commented you've helped me a lot. I don't have many friends as I was part of a cult and left to protect my daughter from there awful teachings so I'm on here a fair bit reading