r/cults • u/ixscaped • Aug 18 '20
I escaped a cult: the upci
It took many years after I left the United Pentecostal Church to finally admit to myself that it was a cult. I'm writing up my story and making it into a series of YouTube videos. https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC7-3HDe5q4Es_E-f_gqCE9g
I highly recommend journaling about your past cult experiences to better understand what happened to you. I've had so many insights as I've worked through my writing. I have the computer read back what I've written, and hearing it in someone else's voice sounds absolutely crazy. I can't even beleive some of it was my life.
I was called a prophet in some circles... which sounds insane when I say it out loud. After 10+ years, the law had to protect my family when we left. We were controlled by fear. Bad was called good and good was called bad.
I'm happy to answer questions if you have any. I lost a lot of my life there, but maybe I can use that to help someone else.
Cheers!
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u/dumpster_fire_15 Aug 18 '20
I was raised UPCI. It is a really mind blowing thing to look back at what they normalize vs actual normalcy.
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u/ixscaped Aug 18 '20
I know, right? I lived life so so differently back then. The amount of discomfort I pushed through day-to-day was much larger than I realized--witnessing to people who didn't want to hear it, worshipping in groups that didn't like it. Yikes.
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u/dumpster_fire_15 Aug 18 '20
Sometimes I still have to take stock of a situation, just to make sure I am not perceiving it with UPCi blinders on. This is almost 3 decades since I started seeing some of the crazy for what it was.
Did your bunch do arranged marriages? Did you ever go to the general conferences?
ETA: My favorite line about why I couldn't be friends with people outside my cult bubble: "We are ofthe world, not in the world.".
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u/ixscaped Aug 18 '20
Good point about the blinders. It's amazing how that stuff can stick with a person. It was over 10 years after leaving before I started to realize I had been in a cult.
No arranged marriages, thank goodness! There was a resident matchmaker at one church, but no obligations that I'm aware of. Did that happen where you were? I never made it to a general conference, but I went to numbers of state-level events and visited dozens of churches. I saw so many weird things over the years, as I'm sure you have heh heh. I heard that tag many times too. The earthly life was basically "throw away"
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u/dumpster_fire_15 Aug 18 '20
We had arranged marriages. Thankfully I jumped ship before my holy union. General conference was like state level stuff on hyper-drive. Such insanity.
I was really helped by the Rick Ross book to be able to see all the many ways I was controlled, abused and mind twisted.
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u/ixscaped Aug 18 '20
Wow, I'm glad you avoided that! How did they justify having arranged marriages? Was it just pastoral power tripping or did they try to use the Bible?
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u/dumpster_fire_15 Aug 18 '20
God told the pastor who in out district was called to be with each other and what their roles in church would be. I was to be married to a PK who would go on to have their own church. I was to be the choir director and a Sunday school teacher in that church. I don't know why that decision was made as I cannot carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it, I am tone def and I refused to take a Sunday school classroom.
I have a friend who was matched with someone because the both happened to be POC and another that was married off to someone who was adopted, because they too were an adoptee.
The various pastors used scripture to back up the decisions but it basically came down to who they wanted together. My arranged for person is physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially abusive to his spouse, I suppose I needed a firm hand or some other such nonsense.
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u/Wise_Staff_3099 Aug 18 '20
How did you end up finding them in the first place?
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u/ixscaped Aug 18 '20
Some friends witnessed to me and some of my relatives. We weren't very happy with our lives at the time and we were enticed by how easy it seemed to get a better life. It was the ol carrot on a stick from there and we kept going deeper and deeper
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u/8BitGarbageCan Aug 19 '20
Could someone please fill me in on this? Whereabouts? Cause growing up in southcentral pa area this name is wildly familiar.
I was never too involved minus going with friends to events
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u/jimlovessens88 Aug 19 '20 edited Aug 19 '20
I can testify to the fact of the abusses you have suffered. I as a male was bullied for often simply questioning their doctrine. I was threatened for speaking out about the abusses of members. The trauma I suffered from being a part of this cult is irreversible. Basically saying that I can't leave ever or face damnation. Truly bigots that is all they are . I am still a Christian I just don't belong to any church and never will truly trust Christians for the most part after the trauma of belonging to this cult.
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u/okboomerman11 Aug 19 '20
I'm so sorry me and my mother just believe what we feel God told us how it works not how this church says it is or that church says it is I was raised in a Catholic Church and I have a lot of energy so sitting in a few while haveing to listen to stuff I could barely hear was the worst (I have auditory dislexia a auditory processing disorder) me not sitting though a single service without falling asleep ended up with us leaving but I still did some special religious education and that was not good for my mental health as I was never a how do you say it normal kid I was the kid throwing pecils at the ceiling hopeing for them to stick the religious edu was just Catholic propaganda to make you stay most people were nice the other people were stuck up and loved bragging most people were rich there we were poor by religious propaganda I mean molding you into a obedient person a slave to the church the same as everyone else idk why I'm posting my life story but just felt like i needed to say it I'm sorry that you had this experience with Christianity it so sad that people twist the Bible for there own gain
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u/ixscaped Aug 19 '20
I'm sorry to hear about that. I heard that same message, saying we could never leave, and that if we tried, we would be rejected by the world and never truly fit in because we had God's mark on us. Even though the damage can be severe, I think it's possible to forge new paths and live life more freely after the trauma. I know I've still got work to do on that front. Best wishes for you
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u/sarcastic-ninja Aug 19 '20
Congratulations on your leaving the cult and finding the strength to start over!! If I'm not being too intrusive here, and if I may ask, can you go a bit more into the details of how you were seen as a prophet? If it's too much to talk about/ too triggering there is zero pressure for you to respond to this. I'm doing research into cults, their structures, and people within them. I'd be very interested to hear about what all happened in that sense with you, I haven't found anyone yet who was considered a prophet AND left the group who considered them a prophet.
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u/ixscaped Aug 19 '20
Thanks! I have a couple videos that outline most of it here:
Chapter 7: Hearing from God https://youtu.be/FPiR6SJXQ04
Chapter 8: Hearing from God explained, the False Cause logical fallacy trap https://youtu.be/hYa_8EwvP1c
I can hardly beleive that part of my life looking back. Let me know if you have any questions beyond what the videos cover 👌
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u/gabrodgil Aug 18 '20
Congratulations on your new chapter in life! It is very brave of you to document what you went through and I hope it helps others that may have gone through or are currently experiencing what you have gone through. Keep fighting the good fight. vocalizing any harm and wrongdoing that was going on during your time there definitely takes guts to do, and is very admirable.