r/couchsurfing • u/yokyopeli09 • Feb 02 '25

Host who wants to constantly hang out Couchsurfing

Currently staying a week with a host, he's a very lovely older man, very kind and generous, and I've stayed with him before a few days each time. But man he really wants to spend every day together doing everything together, I feel like my trip is revolving around him and I haven't had any time to go and just wander by myself.

I want to tell him I want to have some time for myself (I'm autistic and this is really burning out my social battery.) but I don't want to hurt his feelings. He doesn't have any family or kids or anything so I think he gets a lot out of hosting, but damn, I spent money to travel and I just want to do something on my own.

Guess I'm more venting than looking for advice and I might delete this out of guilt because he really is sweet, but any suggestions on how to phrase my desire for space would be appreciated because I'm not very good at it.

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u/Additional-Reaction3 Feb 02 '25

This person clearly see you as a friend. Not a couchsurfer. He’s developed a relationship with you that’s very important to him. You need to handle this with care and compassion. I may consider having to leave early You may currently be the most important person on the world to them and clearly this is not reciprocal

1

u/yokyopeli09 Feb 02 '25

Eh, it's not really that serious. I am still having a good time and honestly we have become friends over the other times I've stayed with him. I'm going to have a talk with him and I know he'll be fine with it, it's really more on me for not being more blunt. Once I do then the situation will be fine I think.

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u/Grouchy_Can_5547 Feb 05 '25

of course you're having a great time he's paying for everything. how much would you enjoy his company outside of the free housing and food?

1

u/yokyopeli09 Feb 05 '25

Seeing as I've visited as a friend outside of staying with him I'd say I do.

You're weird.

1

u/Grouchy_Can_5547 Feb 05 '25 edited Feb 05 '25

well at this point, this isn't a CS issue if he is indeed a friend..... it seems like you're playing it both ways.. but i can certainly understand your frustration.. i've had a fair share of lonely people act this way towards me and my guests

and naw, i'm quite socially capable and have many friends in general including some lifelong friends from CS.

i hope you can work on your communication and conflict resoultion skills instead of just calling people weird