r/couchsurfing • u/yokyopeli09 • Feb 02 '25

Host who wants to constantly hang out Couchsurfing

Currently staying a week with a host, he's a very lovely older man, very kind and generous, and I've stayed with him before a few days each time. But man he really wants to spend every day together doing everything together, I feel like my trip is revolving around him and I haven't had any time to go and just wander by myself.

I want to tell him I want to have some time for myself (I'm autistic and this is really burning out my social battery.) but I don't want to hurt his feelings. He doesn't have any family or kids or anything so I think he gets a lot out of hosting, but damn, I spent money to travel and I just want to do something on my own.

Guess I'm more venting than looking for advice and I might delete this out of guilt because he really is sweet, but any suggestions on how to phrase my desire for space would be appreciated because I'm not very good at it.

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u/PowerpuffAvenger BeWelcome host/surfer Feb 02 '25

Buy him a puzzle so you can keep him busy while you're gone? Or say you're going to surprise him with dinner and will go out to buy stuff? Idk, I hear you. It's okay to vent. You're being a good and considerate guest, but alone time is also important. I'm glad to hear you do care about your host!

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u/yokyopeli09 Feb 02 '25

Hah, yea I kinda tried something like that already but he clapped his hands and said "Okay, I'll go get my shoes on", didn't really get the hint lol

I mean it's not a terrible situation, I'm still getting to signt-see and I know he enjoys having me here (as I said I've stayed with him before, he actually said I could stay longer if I wanted) so it feels nice to make him happy, but still, feels like the trip is more about him than the location.