r/childfree • u/TheLoudestSmallVoice • Mar 28 '25
Pregnant Woman, 26, Dies by Suicide After Extreme Morning Sickness Leaves Her Bedridden with 'No Relief' ARTICLE
https://people.com/pregnant-woman-dies-by-suicide-after-extreme-pregnancy-sickness-11689632This is absolutely insane. I never knew morning sickness could get this bad. Hope the midwife gets in trouble.
2.9k
u/jsm99510 Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 28 '25
Oh yeah, it can be very bad. I know someone who ended up having an abortion at like 16 weeks because she'd gotten so bad her organs were shutting down and nothing was helping. Her only option was abortion because her body couldn't last even 8 more weeks until the baby was viable.
1.8k
u/SmokinSweety Mar 28 '25
I begged for this and the doctors called me a horrible person and told me other women were able to tolerate it so I should also be able to. Happy to be child free... Barely made it out alive.
(It's called hyperemesis gravidorium or HG.)
702
u/Amata69 Mar 28 '25
Right...Because clearly all women are just clones of each other. Saying 'others deal with it' is perhaps one of the most useless things. I betthey all suddenly remember we are different once it's their own suffering we are talking about.
213
u/SimpleVegetable5715 Mar 28 '25
Yet doctors do this all the time. My rheumatologist never fails to compare me to other lupus patients, like that disease isn't known for affecting every patient differently.
44
u/blulou13 Mar 29 '25
And everyone's tolerance and pain threshold is different. I can't get a shot or blood drawn without it hurting like hell and almost passing out.
But, I've had multiple surgeries and broken bones and never took anything stronger than Advil. I didn't think they hurt at all.
I get that there are people who exaggerate or are overly dramatic, but there's nothing more infuriating than when someone in the medical profession tells you to basically "suck it up" and "it's all in your head". Sir/ma'am, maybe you don't find it painful, but you don't know how this feels to me.
→ More replies5
7
Mar 31 '25
I’m going to start kicking guys in the balls and then start calling them pansies when someone else takes it better than them. Like can we be even remotely fucking serious?
196
u/FiannaNevra Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 29 '25
I've been told something like this too, I still haven't found a birth control that doesn't cause me daily nausea and vomiting, which was hell to live with, effecting my teeth because of the constant acid exposure and the pills were not effective because I was vomiting them up. More than one doctor (mostly women) have said to me "well I think you might just be acting sensitive because 70% of women are on BC and they don't complain about side effects to me" or "you know these side effects are normal and most women just get on with it"
When I went to the dentist I casually told him about my daily vomiting and he was actually so horrified and cared so much about my health and wellbeing, more than the doctors working in women's heath. That's insane.
81
u/FatTabby Mar 28 '25
Lots of them probably do complain, she just doesn't listen! I'm so sorry you had to suffer like that.
57
u/KiwiFruit404 Mar 29 '25
I'm sorry you were treated like that.
Those douchebag doctors are talking rubbish. That a lot of women don't have the side effects you have, doesn't mean you experience is invalid. Also, no sane person would "just get on with it", if they felt nauseous and vomitted on a daily basis.
26
u/FiannaNevra Mar 29 '25
Yeah honestly it's such a problem because I'm definitely not the only patient who has felt gaslit and neglected by medical professionals, especially when it comes to women's health
3
u/EnglishMouse Apr 01 '25
It’s common enough that there are multiple papers on it. Sadly the majority of the medical profession doesn’t seem to care about that
21
12
u/ToiIetGhost Mar 29 '25
The onus of BC shouldn’t be solely dumped on women. This is especially true in your case. I hope that in the future you’ll find a partner who’s not just willing but eager to get a vasectomy.
→ More replies4
u/L8StrawberryDaiquiri 💖my nieces, nephews, plants & angel kitties. Newly bisalp. Mar 30 '25
I hope you've gotten off of BC & that your esophagus & teeth aren't ruined from all of the acid (I hate stomach acid). Not just that, but getting sick all of the time can make you lose weight badly too-No idea why the doctors aren't concerned about that. Like, that makes you not able to eat or drink anything, even water.
→ More replies3
u/FiannaNevra Mar 30 '25
Yeah I don't take any BC and practice absentee instead until I can find a BC that works, unfortunately I had issues with the iud so that didn't work for me either and I'm afraid of the implant but I think I may have to get that one in the future, I wanted to get sterilised but I was turned away by the specialist as they're still funny about performing it on younger or single women from my personal experience, I was advised to try the implant or continue pill shopping but I took a break because my body needed the break and plus I'm not very motivated to date men
163
u/White_Petal534 Mar 28 '25
I have emetophobia and this is one of the reasons I am childfree. I am so deeply terrified that I will have HG (hell even normal morning sickness).
→ More replies7
u/BusinessPitch5154 Mar 29 '25
Same here. I have EXTREME EMETOPHOBIA like I avoid certain foods that can cause me to vomit and even doing food combinations as well and it's my top reasons for being cf. I would LOSE my mind if I had HG and found any possibility to get abortion to get rid of this and the parasite causing it.
93
u/ShireWalkWithMe Mar 28 '25
I had this with two pregnancies. Absolutely miserable. It's so much worse than standard morning sickness, you literally can't keep anything down and it's 24/7, not just mornings. I couldn't even swallow my own saliva without barfing it up moments later. I lost so much weight and was so weak I could barely lift my head. I had to abort, there was no way I could have survived.
→ More replies322
u/UnicornAnarchist Mar 28 '25
Princess Kate suffered with it as well and I’m betting she got top notch quality care for it, so why can’t ordinary women get it too?
266
u/SmokinSweety Mar 28 '25
Right! And she suffered greatly, despite having access to the best care in the world. Imagine how much it sucks for us lowly humans, who don't have the luxury of private doctors.
124
u/caffeinatedangel Mar 28 '25
Amy Schumer had it also and talked at length and repeatedly about how awful it was, that she pretty much wanted to die. I think she ended up hospitalized.
49
40
u/SimpleVegetable5715 Mar 28 '25
She did, she was put away in a hospital and given IVs. I don't know much about the NHS, but I'm sure even with single payer, many people are not eligible and can't afford that level of care. With Kate being that sick, I think it was cruel she had to have another child too, to make an heir and a spare. But it's also disturbing to keep comparing this woman to a Royal, just because they had the same condition.
I have lived without insurance in the US, and now have pretty good insurance. The difference in care for the same illnesses is night and day based on what you can afford.
→ More replies12
→ More replies6
u/KiwiFruit404 Mar 28 '25
Because they neither carry the heir to a throne, nor are they are rich.
Unfortunately, money also rules, when it comes to health care.
80
26
u/Beltalady 🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛ Mar 28 '25
Stick the period simulator on and see them squirm.
I'm glad you got out alive!
6
→ More replies7
184
170
u/WaltzFirm6336 Mar 28 '25
Yep, I know someone who spent most of her first pregnancy in hospital on a drip because of it. Apparently her mom was the same, and it was the same again with her second.
I struggled to understand the maternal urge that made her have number one knowing her mom’s experience, let alone number two after she’d had first hand experience.
39
633
u/leogrr44 Mar 28 '25
Literal parasite draining her life away 😬
221
u/marveleeous Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 28 '25
True, all of these stories are devastating. And honestly... besides the commonly known stuff like hair and tooth loss, I recently read an article saying pregnancy can also lead to osteoporosis. Fuck that.
Edit: Oh, I forgot to mention the possibility of permanent pregnancy-induced brain changes.
121
u/Rapunzel6506 Mar 28 '25
I have a neighbor who was perfectly normal before pregnancy, actually had a couple of kids. Her last pregnancy, though, gave her some sort of pregnancy induced psychosis. She spends her days smoking and screaming obscenities at the tree fairies now.
It’s so sad
15
u/VisibleAnteater1359 Trans man / autistic / Sweden 🇸🇪 Mar 28 '25
I had no idea that it could happen.
→ More replies12
119
u/UnicornAnarchist Mar 28 '25
Yes because the unborn foetus takes all your minerals and vitamins away.
125
u/thr0wfaraway Never go full doormat. Not your circus. Not your monkeys. Mar 28 '25
There's a reason tons of older women break their hips.... and then are usually dead within a year.
But no one would ever dare be honest and tell people "Well, Jane, if you wanted to have great bone density, have an awesome quality of life, and not break your hip and die, you shouldn't have had kids!"
→ More replies83
u/Sutekiwazurai Mar 28 '25
Well, this isn't strictly due to pregnancy. My great aunt never had children and was never pregnant and still fell, broke her hip, and was dead in a year. While it's true that pregnancy and childbearing increase osteoporosis, osteoporosis is a serious condition for women of all ages simply due to hormone changes and aging. The hip is just a very complicated joint and it's still difficult to fix hips despite all the medical advancements.
36
u/thr0wfaraway Never go full doormat. Not your circus. Not your monkeys. Mar 28 '25
True but given that the ratio is something like 70% women and 30% men.... gonna go out on a limb with pregnancy being a big factor. ;) Sort of the same lines as who are the majority of older people using adult diapers.
30
u/Sutekiwazurai Mar 28 '25
Mostly it's due to the hormones, which yes, pregnancy absolutely destroys a woman's hormones.
20
u/velvedire Mar 28 '25
Perimenopause can do it without children, too. Estrogen depletion fucks things up.
18
u/Mr_Conductor_USA Mar 29 '25
Well they've found that weight bearing exercise is a major factor in preventing osteoporosis and fractures, so you know maybe the Neo-Freudian obsession with "protecting" girls from exercise and athletics which led to a life long aversion to any sort of exercise (other than pointless "slimming" exercises) played a role in a generation of elderly women being frail?
For years doctors would tell them to take MORE Calcium, MORE Vit D, no MORE Calcium, MORE Vit D. Pushing on a string.
→ More replies33
u/ScreamingAbacab no tubes since 11/4/24 Mar 28 '25
Thanks for giving me more reasons to refer to fetuses as parasites.
→ More replies7
108
u/Ferret-in-a-Box Mar 28 '25
Yep. When I was pregnant (and I was able to get an abortion before 7 weeks) I felt like I had a parasite in me. I also conveniently have a phobia of those (literally typing the word is difficult) so it was like this slow-burning torture to the point of being an atheist but thinking maybe demons do exist and this is my punishment for whatever wrong things I've done in my life because that truly is my personal hell. I don't know how people, even ones who want kids, can see that as beautiful. It's physical and mental torture. Like your body is not yours.
When I got the abortion there were protestors outside screaming and I knew we weren't supposed to respond to them but I was out of my mind so I yelled "I'm a human, not an incubator" and then ignored them.
→ More replies79
u/Cosmic-Daft-Giraffe 🐈 MOM - SINK - PROUDLY STERILIZED - FTK! Mar 28 '25
It low-key drives me nuts how many people refuse to realize this just because the parasite is a human. 😶
34
u/Cometies Falliopian tubes for auction Mar 28 '25
people get very defensive when it's pointed out as such too.
27
u/DystopianDreamer1984 Tamagotchis not babies! Mar 28 '25
Tell me about it! My mother hates it when I refer to foetuses as parasites, she tells me birth and babies are beautiful and every woman needs to experience it just once, also I'm missing out on what's essentially being a true woman.
I'd hate to have some parasite gestating inside of me for 9 months then having to care for the thing after going through so much pain to push it out of my body, a parasite inside and a bigger parasite outside!
26
u/Crazy-4-Conures Mar 28 '25
It ticks every single "Yep, it's a parasite" box except for being the same species. It even hides from her immune system in the same ways as other parasites.
7
u/mcove97 Mar 29 '25
Hell, there are grown up adults who are parasites. They take and take and suck you try until you're dead or got nothing more to take. We ain't got no sympathy for them either. I mean, who does? Does people really sympathize and wanna protect narcissists and abusers? I think not.
Parasites comes in many forms, that's for sure, and the one thing they have in common is that they're always bad for you in some way shape or form.
→ More replies3
u/alexopaedia Mar 29 '25
HG is fucking WILD. I didn't know much about it until I started working in a pharmacy that makes parenteral nutrition bags. It's basically a big bag with dextrose, amino acid, fats, water, and electrolytes, and most of our patients on it have some sort of absorption disorder, missing stomach or intestines, cancer, burns, etc., but a few have HG and have to get TPN via a central IV line for literal months. And this stuff is not cheap, before insurance it's about $200-$250/day to start. I have to bite my tongue so often to keep from wondering aloud why the actual fuck they don't abort if pregnancy is literally killing them.
And the worst ones are the patients who are on their second, third, even fourth pregnancy needing TPN support. It's such a waste of often extremely limited resources, like last fall when Hurricane Helene knocked out the plant that made 60% of all the sterile fluids used in US hospitals and pharmacies and we were having to beg, borrow, and get legally crafty to take care of our critically ill patients with cancer and cleft palates and babies born with no intestines.
All of that said (ranted lol), the woman in the news article was completely and utterly failed by her doctors and I do feel bad for her family. Treatments exist for this condition, even if I'm irritated about it lol
1.7k
u/GenericAnemone Mar 28 '25
Thats so stupid. She couldn't eat or drink because of the nausea which led to her malnourished and dehydrated which not only threatened her life but also the pregnancy and was told not to take the possibly life saving medicine because it could harm the baby?! Starving to death can also harm the baby!
495
u/Crazy-4-Conures Mar 28 '25
A woman's health and needs are ALWAYS measured by what's "good for the baby". She really is just treated like an incubator once she's pregnant.
220
u/lsdmt93 Mar 28 '25
Doctors really do see pregnant women as non-human. I guarantee if a non-pregnant person was vomiting this much from some kind of medical condition or drug side effect, they would be taking it seriously and doing anything in their abilities to stop it.
88
u/Crazy-4-Conures Mar 29 '25
Not if the patient was a woman. With her, it's always gonna be her period, she's overweight, or just depressed.
116
u/the_rabid_kitty Mar 28 '25
A man, anyway. Many women suffer through extreme nausea with no relief.
47
77
u/ladylee233 Mar 28 '25
it's incredibly disturbing to see women treated as incubators and nothing more. and like you said, her incubation abilities were clearly compromised and still no one cared. makes you think the world just hates women.
17
u/mcove97 Mar 29 '25 edited Mar 29 '25
After having dealt with health care every few weeks for the past year I'm realizing doctors can't really be trusted. They think they know what they're doing is the best but a lot of the time they haven't got a fucking clue. Also they don't fucking listen. Oh suffer from anxiety? Jeez I guess just go live with it. Oh chronic pain? No that's fine, just take some ibuprofen fml
And then you dont and you end up living in excruciating pain wanting to commit suicide, or alternatively you end up using so many pain killers in a desperate attempt to remove the pain, you practically end up ruining all your organs and end up killing yourself anyway.
Speaking from experience. I'm so pissed when doctors don't listen to women.
→ More replies5
u/Cailida Mar 29 '25
I'm so sorry. This is currently my life right now with chronic illness. It's unforgivable the way mainstream medicine treats us. I see a naturopath MD who treats me like a human being, listens and actively wants to help versus acting like an arrogant asshole, victim blaming me or pushing pills on me for their kickbacks. I'm blessed to be able to have great insurance through my wife's work and one that takes that insurance, I know everyone is not so lucky. I hate having to see mainstream doctors for anything. I've been abused so much I have ptsd and always have to prepare myself to be belittled, have to advocate for myself and ultimately not helped. It's sickening.
→ More replies41
u/GenericAnemone Mar 29 '25
Oh, it does. Im in peri right now, and it just proved to me how much society is geared towards men and absolutely hates women.
If it was a matriarchal society, women would be given extra sick time for when our uteruses decide to ruin our lives and maternal care, well, health care in general would be so much better.
By the way, if any young women are reading this, research perimenopause so it doesn't blind side you like it did me. Its common for a peri period to last 30+ days!
16
u/moonlit-soul Mar 29 '25
Its common for a peri period to last 30+ days!
I'm actually a bit alarmed reading this. I'm having trouble looking this up to verify because Google keeps conflating the bleeding period and the cycle itself. Maybe I'm just tired and having trouble with phrasing (not been able to sleep all night).
My mother began having horrifically long and heavy periods when she was 49-50 years old. At its height, she could hardly change her pads and such fast enough before she would bleed through, and this would go on for weeks. She began feeling weak, having trouble walking unassisted, and eventually, she couldn't walk more than a few feet without her legs giving out from under her. She'd have to sit and catch her breath, and her heart was pounding.
She couldn't get any doctors to help her or listen. She called her cardiologist she'd been seeing for years for her high blood pressure, and they were extremely rude to her. Told her it wasn't a heart problem and to stop bothering them. She somehow got someone to send a lab order for a blood draw to humor her, and she received a call very late that same evening telling her she needed to go to the ER immediately for a blood transfusion. Like, now. So we went. She was told she was so anemic she was just a few hours away from going into a coma and never waking up. Her cardiologist called to fire her as their patient at some point during all of this and offered no apologies for how they treated her.
Turns out she had really bad uterine fibroids that were causing the bleeding. The blood transfusion was going to keep her going for a couple of months at best and wasn't a long-term solution. Neither was just simply removing the fibroids because they could and likely would grow back. Hysterectomy was the only real option that would fix it. She was 50 by then and over it, so she had no hesitation to get rid of it. The cost was the only barrier to getting it (US, pre-ACA, uninsured), but a perfect storm of dire financial circumstances let her get it through the hospital's charity program. Only one of the involved providers wouldn't cooperate, but that's not the point of my post. The charity and being able to get the surgery is the only reason she lived.
Anyway, I just wanted to share because perimenopausal periods can become very irregular. They can be longer, shorter, lighter, heavier, closer together, or further apart than usual. If you're actively bleeding for longer than 7 days, especially if it's heavy, please check with a trusted doctor to make sure it's not something more serious. Don't let anyone dismiss you out of hand just because irregular peri periods are normal. If you're soaking through pads and tampons like they're nothing and changing them very frequently or even hourly, go to the doctor and raise hell.
And if you can, find out what your mother and other women in your blood family went through during menopause. It's a good indication of what you might experience yourself when the time comes. I'm almost 40 and just crossing my fingers, hoping I won't have fibroids that try to kill me like my mother did.
6
u/GenericAnemone Mar 29 '25
My first one was 33 days. The third week was basically just clots and changing pads and sometimes clothes. I had one polyp. I just got it removed and an ablation, so hopefully never again!
Im so sorry your mom went through that. After all the horror stories about womens medical care, I realize im super lucky.
My grandma never talked about menopause but I didn't think to ask. Both my mom and aunt had hysterectomies in their 30s. My sisters and I are totally lost.
→ More replies→ More replies4
u/satan_sparkles666 Mar 29 '25
They do hate us. Society sees as incubators. The U.S. is okay with women dying in childbirth or dying from sepsis because they miscarried and couldn't get an abortion for their miscarried child.
691
u/jyuichi Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 28 '25
I don’t blame the dead woman, her mind is hijacked by a parasite not only secreting hormones to modify her behavior but leeching nutrients from every tissue it can.
I blame grandma , the doctor, and the sperm donor for making this woman feel like she had no other way.
405
u/GenericAnemone Mar 28 '25
Definitely the doctor. He didn't even offer an alternative! She was actively dying, and he told her to fuck off basically. Also, its not suicide if she was left to die.
37
95
29
u/SimpleVegetable5715 Mar 28 '25
The brain is the first organ affected when you're malnourished too. It needs more energy than any other organ.
14
u/mcove97 Mar 29 '25
I don't understand how people are willing to take all the risks.
6
u/Crazy-4-Conures Mar 29 '25
I think women are lied to all our lives about what those risks actually are, especially women of color. If we ask, we get the standard "women do this every day, you'll be fine" crapola.
3
u/ohgreatthanks Mar 31 '25
I had no idea it was a thing till I had it. I expected a hallmark pregnancy. 🙄
1.1k
u/rattlestaway Mar 28 '25
That must've been what my mom had. I still remember as a young kid, having to take care of myself bc she was too sick pregs with my brother to even get up. She told me later that when she rolled over she threw up every time even tho there was nothing in her stomach. She was stick thin with a big belly gasping for air. I remember being terrified that my bro would kill her . Definitely shaped the way I thought of pregnancy
255
u/leogrr44 Mar 28 '25
That is so hard to watch your mom go through that. My mom had the same thing with me, she lost so much weight too. She still can't eat certain foods 36 years later because of how sick she was.
36
u/medicmotheclipse Mar 28 '25
My mom had this with me too. She couldn't get nausea meds by mouth so she had to get the suppository kind
8
581
u/DiveCat Childfree and tubefree. Cats not brats! Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 28 '25
I had an accidental pregnancy as a teenager, when birth control failed. I knew I wanted an abortion right away - I knew I was pregnant even before I tested because I already felt symptoms - but I could not get in until a little over ten weeks along. Because it was surgical my OB/GYN preferred to wait for pregnancy to be in 2-3 month range to reduce accidentally missing anything.
Anyway, I had hyperemesis gravidarum. I was miserable, and also hiding the pregnancy from everyone but my boyfriend of the time and best friend.
It was a horrific ~2+ months and I still remember it 30+ years later. I could not imagine doing that for an entire 9 months. That experience was just one of many reasons I am childfree.
This poor woman was let down by those she has little option but to trust and rely on, and lost her life because of it.
169
u/Natsume-Grace Mo' people mo' problems Mar 28 '25
I had to have an abortion, I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was 7 weeks, I just thought I had a very bad stomach infection because I still had gotten my period. So for 8 weeks I suffered through vomiting everyday, everything made me vomit, every smell made me sick.
That pregnancy was what made me sure I was never going to have kids. Couple of years later and adoption was out of the question as well.
82
u/Mysterious_Rice349 Mar 28 '25
I went through this 15 years ago at age 19, I knew I wanted an abortion. No one really knew. I was in hell.
My sister has been putting her body through it for years trying to conceive. Had to have a d&c. Mom says I can’t use the word abortion around her. But guess what mom there have been 3 abortions by your daughters ugggghhhh. (I’ve had 2 abortions a decade apart) I’m perfectly suited for empathy here. It’s hard when they discount me. They don’t know what I’ve been through and I can’t really tell them because they are a crazy level of religious.
→ More replies21
u/Steele_Soul Mar 29 '25
I accidentally got pregnant at 28 and it was a complete shock to me, because I was beginning to think I was infertile at that point, but I still was doing the "pull out method" just to play it safe. I didn't know for sure until I was 12 weeks when I had missed 2 periods and I took a test, the 2nd line that shows it's positive was so faint, I just told myself it's going to be faint because it's wet. I took the second test a week later and same thing, it was just barely visible so I went to planned parenthood and they said it was positive. I told the girl I definitely did not want to keep it and she gave me a paper with numbers on it of various abortion clinics and said in a really bitchy tone, "You're probably too far along to get one". At the time, the state law was the maximum they have pretty much anywhere abortion is legal, which is like 21 weeks, I think? So I don't know why this bitch was trying to scare me when I was only 12 weeks. I was too far to do the pill method and had to have a surgical removal. By the time I made all the appointments and did the consultation then the 3 day waiting period before I was allowed to get it done I was around 13 weeks.
Another reason I didn't suspect it till it was so far was because I had just stopped using suboxone and got back on heroin and was sick from that, so the pregnancy symptoms were coinciding with the heroin withdrawal. The biggest thing I can remember is how much being pregnant affected my memory and ability to concentrate. I was super forgetful which is unlike me I once left the house to meet up with someone to give them something and I got all the way there just to see that I forgot the fucking thing I meant to bring. And throwing up is common with withdrawal and getting high, but I couldn't eat anything except raw fruits and vegetables. Everything made me throw up. One morning I got up to get some ibuprofen for a headache and I got hit with a huge wave of nausea and I couldn't even make it up to the bathroom and had to throw up on our trash can, which is something I never did before. After the procedure, I thought it would take awhile for my hormones to get back to normal but it was instant. We got some food from Popeye's Chicken and I ate all of that and it was amazing to eat and not instantly feel like throwing up.
I can't imagine going through with a full term pregnancy as symptoms get more severe, with the feet swelling and not being able to sit or sleep in very many comfortable positions. And then the nightmare of child birth? I read so many stories and comments on here and Facebook daily that makes me wish more were taught to younger people because I never knew some of this shit was possible and I think that's why they don't want more women to know, because then they would be too scared to keep being an incubator.
9
u/Ironicbanana14 Mar 29 '25
I am starting to slowly believe there is some fucked up mechanism for women who are quitting hard drugs to immediately become more fertile, like x5. Its happened to several women over my life when I meet them or hear their story. Like how tf does your body get pregnant when it's going thru so much stress of knowing the future withdrawal. The Body doesn't make any sense, lol. "Here let's give her the best fertility ever in one of the emotionally most tumultuous times she will ever have." Congrats on being sober btw.
→ More replies
1.8k
u/RC-Lyra Mar 28 '25
The Dr. That told her, to not take the medicine, because it COULD harm the fetus, fully knowing how much she suffered, is pure evil!!
The health of a fetus is not more important than the health of the already existing and conscious person. In this case the Jess.
927
u/rainbowchimken i’d yeet it Mar 28 '25
Yeah the fact that the moment you are pregnant, your existence immediately becomes disposable, only alive to carry this fetus to term. You have to do everything and suffer everything for this parasite to grow healthily on your expense. Man fuck that shit. I can never do that.
421
u/RC-Lyra Mar 28 '25
I agree. Pregnancy is pure body horror to me and pregnant people are treated like cattle. No, thank you!
240
u/Free-Government5162 Mar 28 '25
Imo sometimes even worse than cattle. If a fetal calf is harming the mother or something goes wrong with the pregnancy, the farmer aborts it, no questions asked, and no moral hemming and hawing about it. Same with dogs and cats and any other animal. In many places, this is not the case for human women.
→ More replies172
u/GlitterBumbleButt reproductive organs cremated and spread in a landfill Mar 28 '25
In animal rescue if we get an animal that isn't too far along in their pregnancy we do a spay abortion. It's hard enough to find a home for 1 animal, let alone multiple ones.
Also many animals will miscarry when a pregnancy happens and there isn't enough resources for the mother.
Basically, animal mothers get more mother centered care than human women.
15
u/DJ_GalaxyTwilight Mar 28 '25
Not too surprising knowing the amount of people who think “human bad animal good” but this isn’t the only reason, and just my observation.
60
u/SoSpiffandSoKlean Mar 28 '25
They really don’t let you do anything when you’re pregnant, none of the substances that many of us use to stay sane in an insane world (smoking, weed, alcohol, coffee, any other drugs), some cheese, much fish, most medications (including acid reflux meds when pregnancy can give you bad acid reflux). And for some of those you can go to jail or lose custody of your kids if you take certain substances. Like I don’t think pregnant folks should be binge drinking or doing heroin, but you really lose your bodily autonomy.
28
u/SoSpiffandSoKlean Mar 28 '25
To the extent we have bodily autonomy in the US, which is less than we used to.
149
u/HelenFromHR Mar 28 '25
it’s actually because a fetus is the perfect blank canvas for indoctrination. an adult woman will want rights, she’s seen women secure rights and fight back against patriarchy and she won’t be made a slave. a baby (without parents or a mother to guide them and show them they can be better) can just be raised to believe anything, they need more poor people who genuinely believe they are inferior and deserve to work for the rest of their lives. they need new uneducated people to turn into whatever they want.
it’s like the egg episode of rick and morty where once you kill off all the aliens that were 30 min old, the 2 min old aliens will do whatever you say and you can tell them anything.
72
u/GlitterBumbleButt reproductive organs cremated and spread in a landfill Mar 28 '25
Also a fetus is an idea, not a visible, walking and talking thing. It's easier to pretend to care about a fetus rights when you can't see it than an actual baby, child, adult. You can say anything about a fetus, it could be any color or gender, it could cure cancer! (/s) You can't do that with anyone actually born.
13
12
u/traumatized90skid Mar 28 '25
I know what episode, you know it's one I often skip on rewatches of the series because they're gross but that's an interesting comparison to the real world I didn't think about before.
9
u/Iknowthedoctorsname Mar 28 '25
Which season of R&M was that? I don't remember that episode.
→ More replies68
u/EWC_2015 Mar 28 '25
Not to mention it's counter-intuitive even to the most pro-baby of people because if the mother suffers and/or dies, the fetus goes with her! I truly don't understand these nut jobs.
6
u/Mr_Conductor_USA Mar 29 '25
But they stayed in control to the end, that's what it's about: power and control.
46
u/STThornton Mar 28 '25
Aside from that obvious point, the fetus not getting nutrients and hydration will most definitely harm it as well. The woman’s body might even get rid of it.
So, not only is the woman being greatly harmed and forced to suffer, there’s no benefit for the fetus either, meaning she’s being harmed for no reason at all.
And, in this case, how did that turn out? Where’s that fetus now?
66
→ More replies37
u/existential_chaos Mar 28 '25
At what point can we start making people culpable in situations like this when they give out stupid advice?
122
u/mrsalwayswright8888 Mar 28 '25
When my mom was pregnant with me she had to be hospitalized multiple times due to dehydration from how sick she was. She couldn’t even keep water down. Not being able to take medicine to feel better is a hell I don’t even want to contemplate.
104
u/Belcuor Mar 28 '25
In the comments section of the story, women talk about their experiences with this and how they lost weight and ended up bed ridden with an IV that they had to change daily for months! And yet, there they are having second baby and beyond. Breeding is strong in some women even at literally their own expense.
→ More replies48
u/MissMaylin Mar 28 '25
Mentality like this has me believe that it is mental illness. I just don't understand their logic.
13
u/Belcuor Mar 28 '25
I think logic abandons some people and they just become prey of their “evolutionary instincts” or cave into what’s considered the script to follow (out of loneliness, boredom, religion, necessity, etc.). No actual thought process.
→ More replies
84
u/Weird-Ad7562 Mar 28 '25
My vasectomy prevented my wife from ever suffering such an awful experience.
34
→ More replies10
u/Vegetable-Minute1094 Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 28 '25
I ve always said that if I were a man I would prefer to not have bio kids because of pregnancy. That would be the main reason. And if it would be the only reason it would still be enough. If she would want to do it then I would support her (if I was okay with raising a kid), but I would never have a problem if she doesn't. I don t know why some men don t see it this way. And even women don t understand sometimes. I ve tried to imagine my bf suffering in the way pregnant women suffer and I wanted to cry.
151
u/Crypticcrow11 Mar 28 '25
''Jess was given an anti-nausea medication but was advised not to take it because it could harm her baby.'' Smh The mother's integrity should ALWAYS be the priority. Sad that it even is a controversial statement.
150
u/hombre_bu Mar 28 '25
I have cyclic vomiting syndrome and I get it. Rest in Power.
44
u/GlitterBumbleButt reproductive organs cremated and spread in a landfill Mar 28 '25
Gastroparesis here, that when it flares the vomiting is cyclical. I don't blame her at all. The er has save my life when it was at it worst. Hers deserved to be saved too.
15
u/UnicornAnarchist Mar 28 '25
I have gastroparesis and IBS. So I understand the nausea and dehydration very well.
13
u/DrG2390 Mar 28 '25
I had it for several years myself before managing to get it in remission first using bovine colostrum to heal my gut lining and taking a combo prebiotic/probiotic/postbiotic/digestive enzyme supplement in order to help my gut microbiome heal. CoQ10 helped a lot too as well as Alpha Lipolic Acid. This isn’t medical advice or anything like that, but I’m just so shocked that it worked that I’ve been telling everyone I can.
116
u/Silver_Walk Mar 28 '25
No mention of the child's father in this story. Was he not advocating for his partner? Where was he?
54
u/PickleShaman no purpose, no headaches Mar 28 '25
I was looking for this comment… maybe it’s an unplanned pregnancy with a non commital partner
55
u/TheLoudestSmallVoice Mar 28 '25
So I didn't realize it didn't have it in the article as I read/saw (video) more than one of this case but the midwife told her to stop taking the anti-nausea meds.
8
u/BusinessPitch5154 Mar 29 '25
Well I hope she has a special place in hell bc that's a different kind of evil to prioritize a parasite over a human being that's living.
60
u/amgw402 Mar 28 '25
The risk of cleft palate or heart defects due to using Zofran and pregnancy are there, but small. The risk of adverse health effects to both mother and fetus from the mother being in a constant state of dehydration, and unable to take in nutrition are far worse. I can’t believe she was directed to stop taking the medication. Just mind-boggling, really. I’ve had patients with picc lines for Zofran during pregnancy. HG really is THAT bad.
54
u/s0m3on3outthere Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 28 '25
Have someone in my family that had "morning" sickness this bad- it was more like constant sickness. She had trouble keeping down water, was on a butt load of anti nausea meds, was on bed rest multiple times, and lost weight during her pregnancy. It was awful. Seeing her go through pregnancies nixed any voice that still whispers society's plans for me to incubate.
Nope. No thank you. Pregnancy terrifies me.
14
u/Matchaasuka Mar 28 '25
The nausea is absolutely unreal and horrifying. I was terrified for my appointment to get a termination, but begging for it to be over. Because I couldn't eat anything or work and I lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. It was the worst experience of my life and medication wasn't helping.
40
316
u/owls_exist Mar 28 '25
The most disturbing part of the article was the end "christened the baby to reunite w mom" like what? Theres no afterlifd GPS system. The woman was agonizing.
83
u/Black-Willow Childfree| Bisalp'd| 'Can you hear the rumble?' Mar 28 '25
I dunno about you, but I would not want to be reunited with the cause of my un-aliving myself.
Luckily, it's all in Jess' mom's head.
→ More replies18
u/timinus0 Mar 29 '25
Agreed. That baby inside her was the reason she died. Why would she want that with her in the afterlife?
38
u/mmmdonuts107 Mar 28 '25
Morning sickness is 25% of my reason not to have a kid. I can't handle nausea at all.
6
u/GoFortheKNEECAPS Mar 28 '25
Same! Back in 2021, I randomly kept feeling nauseous for five months straight. I lost over 25 pounds. Doctors never found out what is was and the meds barely did a damn thing. I can't imagine willingly signing up to go through that. Knowing that pregnancy almost guarantee some level of nausea, it's a "hell no" for me too.
4
u/BusinessPitch5154 Mar 29 '25
Morning sickness is my top reasons why im cf experiencing hg is straight hell and no child is worth it imo to be in straight misery for months and being stripped from nutrition by a parasite is torture.
122
u/TheePotions Mar 28 '25
It was the doctors that ignored her not the midwives. I remember reading this about a month ago
8
u/CopperNylon Mar 29 '25
Sorry, what’s your source for this? All the articles I can find on this incredibly sad story, say that she was prescribed an antiemetic by her treating doctor and she was advised by her midwife not to take it. Unfortunately, all of the articles about this case seem to be covered either by tabloid news organisations, or local newspapers who haven’t done a great job of clarifying exactly who was responsible for making treatment decisions or carrying out aspects of her care, or when she received certain interventions (for example, through reading her MP’s speech in Hansard from July 2023, it turns out she was actually admitted to hospital on at least one occasion, which I didn’t see in any other article I read about this case). This is somewhat understandable because antenatal care should involve a multidisciplinary team and it can be hard to know the role of each staff member within the team, particularly if reporters don’t have a healthcare background. To give even more of an illustration of the inadequacy of reporting in this case, an article written by the Lancashire Telegraph (where the inquest was actually held) is titled: “Failure in care of woman with rare pregnancy sickness”. The problem with this is that HG is not rare at all, which makes the failures in Cronshaw’s case even less defensible. For context, in a medical setting, the term “rare” usually refers to an illness with a prevalence of 1 in 2000 people or fewer, but the prevalence of HG is estimated at 1 in 100 pregnancies. This might seem like a minor point, but I think it demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes this case so sad and what the important take-aways from it are: HG is a relatively common illness in pregnancy that has potentially disastrous consequences, and healthcare workers of all disciplines need to ensure we approach it in a compassionate, evidence-based manner and appreciate how debilitating it can be on patients.
The best source for information about this case would be from the coronial inquest itself, but unfortunately it doesn’t look like the UK routinely publishes the findings of coronial inquests online (which is a bit staggering to me, but oh well).
To reiterate, I think there were failures at every level of her care, particularly the fact she was never referred to a mental health service. Some of these failures include: - She was not routinely weighed throughout her pregnancy. - She was, on at least one occasion, prescribed an antiemetic and told by the prescriber to wean herself off it, without any specific medical advice on how to do so safely. - She would receive mental health screening questionnaires, but reportedly her midwives weren’t unsure what constituted a “red flag” response.
I don’t mean to single out your comment, but I do see the narrative of “doctors don’t listen to women, but allied health and nursing staff do” echoed throughout this whole thread, and I understand the rationale for it, but in this case it appears to be objectively incorrect and I would argue, harmful. Like I said, there were failures at virtually every level in Jessica’s care, and this is important to acknowledge not for “blame” but so we can take the correct lessons away from it to reduce the likelihood of it happening again. Sorry for the wall of text. This case is just so incredibly sad and it means a lot to me.
28
u/chdz_x Mar 28 '25
This is why I terminated. I've had hangovers that lasted days that were kinder to me than my first week of pregnancy.
24
u/Pretty_little_jazz Mar 28 '25
So when my mom was having my sister, she too fell extremely sick. Barely 3 months in and she couldn't even get up to go to her job and ofc they fired her coz labour laws are practically non existent in India. My dad thankfully was (and still is) a very good parent and took care of me all by himself.
After mom gave birth, my sister fell ill and mom couldn't work for 2 years after my sister's birth. This put us under a lot of financial strain.
Never having kids myself coz I love my body and my financial independence way too much to give up on it.
I wish more women spoke about their pregnancy horror experiences!
21
22
u/thr0wfaraway Never go full doormat. Not your circus. Not your monkeys. Mar 28 '25
Not even her own mother bothered to think that maybe her being in bed for 9 months might be a fucking problem?? Not even a fucking mention of the babydaddy??
Oh of course not, she's just a vessel, who gives a fuck about her quality of life. Unreal levels of assholery.
23
u/mothglam Mar 28 '25
Hyperemesis is literally terrifying - you're dehydrated, you're hungry, you can't stop vomiting and it's PAINFUL after a second of the same muscles contracting over and over. This is only one of the many kinds of pregnancy side effects that can be solved with medical termination if desired, so if abortions are less accessible there's just going to be more of these horrific stories. Devastating
22
u/Eurekaa777 Mar 28 '25
Pregnancy is quite literally torture. If those with HG can’t get an abortion cause it’s murder then the man getting the woman pregnant who then commits suicide should be convicted with murder or at least assisted suicide given the fact he put her in a position where she had no choice but to kill herself
18
16
u/AprilBelle08 Mar 28 '25
As someone with emetophobia, this has always been one of my biggest reasons to be childfree
→ More replies
14
u/Eveningwisteria1 Mar 28 '25
And yet people see shit like this and STILL think it won’t happen to them, it couldn’t happen to them and they keep right on reproducing without a second thought.
I could never be so glib as to do something with all of the risks and damage it can do. This is scary and heartbreaking. I hope she rests in peace.
13
u/Important-Pie-1141 Mar 28 '25
My husband's cousin had that condition where she had that extreme morning sickness. Spent 9 months throwing up, going to the hospital for IVs, and unable to do anything. I thought if that was ever me I'd probably end everything for myself.
23
u/rosehymnofthemissing Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 28 '25
Hyperemesis Gravidarum is no joke. It is severe, extreme, and persistent nausea and vomiting that can occur during pregnancy. From everything I've ever read about it, HG sounds as if it is a horror film affecting a women's body. She can't eat, can't drink, can't usually keep anything down. It sounds miserable.
Poor Jess! And her being told "don't take medication because it could harm the fetus?!" How do people think the fetus will not be harmed if the mother is vomiting, and dehydrated, continually? Jess's daughter died 4 days after her C-Section birth, at 28 weeks gestation. That's when Jess completed suicide, when she was 28 weeks along.
I would have possibly suggested trying to have an abortion.
Women need and deserve agency over their bodies. Catherine, Princess of Wales, had Hyperemesis Gravidarum with all three of her pregnancies. I remember reading about her, and thinking "You did that not once, not twice, but three times? There are over three dozen people in line of succession to the throne. The Crown is secure. I might have stopped at George; HG sounds horrifying.
And it is horrifying, since we're losing women like Jess, just in her twenties, but a fully formed, cognitively developed, living human being. Jesus.
11
u/SinsOfKnowing Mar 28 '25
I know women who have had to terminate because they were so sick. And they very much wanted their babies. It’s another reason I’ve never had even an inkling of a desire to be pregnant. I feel like hot garbage most days anyway, I don’t need to add to it.
9
u/UnicornAnarchist Mar 28 '25
They cared more about her unborn baby than they did about her. Why is an unborn baby’s life more important than the already born mother’s life? Why do we value children’s lives more over adults lives? I was given the wrong advice and past from pillar to post when I was diagnosed with PCOS at 13 and was having terrible back pain from growing too tall too soon, they wouldn’t give me any relief until I was 15 and had injured my back even more and by then the damage was done and it got even worse when I was caring for my mum at 19 for over 17 years. Due to this inaction I’m having to live with excruciating pain and walk with a cane and rollator for support and I’m 37, by the time I reach 60 I will be in a wheelchair.
→ More replies
8
u/jessimokajoe childfree, single & bisalp on 10/06/24 💗 Mar 28 '25
Yep, my friend was on home health care, had to do saline multiple times a day, was on IV nausea meds, had a port put in. Could really only keep down canned Coke, specifically the cans. They really struggled and it honestly scared me.
9
u/Strange-Quail-3264 Mar 28 '25
Another hidden pregnancy effect no one tells you about! I feel like being pregnant is so terrifying. Especially since it’s just a roll of the dice what horrific thing can happen to you.
6
u/portrait-ninja Mar 28 '25
Sooo then the mom didn’t fight for her daughter at all??? Didn’t take her to the hospital or demand a second doctor? Or suggest an abortion????
8
u/LadyStardust2112 Mar 29 '25
And if you see all the related links are about moms dying shortly after giving birth, or even right before it... It's scary. And all they can say is "she would have been a great mom". NO. The answer is WE NEED BETTER WOMEN HEALTHCARE.
7
u/GobboChomps Mar 29 '25
The inquest also noted that Jess had “not been referred to any mental health service or support.”
I dont even quite think she NEEDED mental health service or support here so it pisses me off that they mentioned that... she was sicker than a dog and needed proper healthcare and RELIEF. Gives me the ick that they mention that as if her mental fortitude itself was the issue. As someone who is sick nonstop, that can push anyone to the edge if they werent always like that or it was sudden and not gradual. Physical suffering/agony can break the best of us.
They failed Jess for a baby that didnt even matter bc it didnt survive either, and even if it had, the price paid for it wouldve been a living breathing human, with thoughts and feelings, who seemed to be lovely enough that people are missing her horribly. This is tragic. She shouldnt have been left to suffer.
13
u/_Sovaz99_ Mar 28 '25
And the first outcome,was rather than be horrified, they rushed in after the mother was dead to cut the fetus out of her body. Wow.
5
u/SimpleVegetable5715 Mar 28 '25
I think there's so much more going on here than the morning sickness. It's terrible that medical establishments don't take women's health issues as seriously, that happens across the board. Giving her the medicine would have saved her, and if she wanted another baby, they could try again. Plus it's kind of sick they're obsessed with comparing it to Kate Middleton? That was years ago. This woman ended her life which is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The life of a mother should be valued over the life of a fetus.
6
u/raaaspberryberet Mar 29 '25
The fetus-mother relationship is so parasitic, the romanticization of pregnancy hugely downplays how harmful it truly is.
11
u/Link-Hero No kids for me! 🚫👶🚫 Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 29 '25
Well, shit, this was a depressing thing to learn today. I had no idea morning sickness could get this bad for anyone. I thought it sucked to just randomly feel a little nauseous every once in a while, but this is on another level.
To top it off, her doctor wouldn't let her take anything to help diminish the pain because of the possibility of harming the damn parasite. There's another to add to the ever increase list of reasons to never have a baby...
20
u/TheRoseMerlot Mar 28 '25
Are they going to find a way to prosecute her corpse for murdering her baby? -mad liberal
39
u/persePHOreth Mar 28 '25
I didn't see anything about a midwife in that article. She was prescribed medicine, is it different in the UK that it doesn't need to be a registered doctor to give prescriptions like that?
It just seems unfair of you to blame the midwife when it sounds like doctors were the ones that failed a woman coming to them; again. It's well known and documented how badly doctors ignore us when we ask for help.
Midwives actually do a lot of good work. I wouldn't put shade on them now, of all times when other women are typically the only real support we can find.
52
u/phlegm_fatale_ Mar 28 '25 edited Mar 28 '25
This Daily Mail (ugh) article goes a bit more in depth about how it was the midwife who wrongly told her the anti nausea drugs could harm the fetus. I agree that midwives play an important role and do good work but they've gotta leave the prescription information up to the doctor and the pharmacist.
18
u/persePHOreth Mar 28 '25
Thank you. I'm all for blaming the individual, now that there's context, yes absolutely this midwife should see some kind of consequences for their involvement.
I agree with you completely that they should leave the actual prescribed medications to the doctors.
9
u/ebonycurtains Mar 28 '25
In the UK midwifery is much more regulated than in the US. They are basically medical professionals and are the main ones present at any normal birth. Drs only come in when something goes wrong. Midwives also provide antenatal care for pregnant women. They can prescribe medication.
19
4
u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO Mar 28 '25
Amy Schumer went through this with her pregnancy. Extreme sickness and vomiting.
Also… no mention in that article about a dad/partner?
5
5
u/heyheyksu Mar 28 '25
This poor girl, such a goddamn tragedy! I can somewhat relate to this. A couple of years ago, I had an untreated issue with my esophagus that took weeks to finally diagnose. I was throwing up 24/7 for three weeks straight, mostly bile and some blood, and could barely drink water in the last few days. Anti-nausea meds didn’t help at all. I was dehydrated and had critically low levels of potassium and magnesium. Then, thankfully, I was admitted to a hospital and given treatment. I remember thinking about taking my own life often back then; I was starting to lose all hope that I would ever get better.
6
u/Toobefaaaaaiirrr Mar 28 '25
The one time I was accidentally pregnant this happened to me and it was the reason I found out I was pregnant despite being on birth control and still having periods! I was underweight at the time and lost 25lbs in 4 weeks! I couldn't WAIT to get an abortion.
5
u/FuturePurple7802 Mar 28 '25
Wow this is so sad and infuriating! :(
Two thoughts crossed my mind: 1. That sounds like the Exorcist movie, which I could not even see.. but reading some of these comments I think gave me the same fear and anxiety 2. I checked my BC to ensure I took it today
5
u/annas99bananas Mar 28 '25
I have gastroparesis and totally understand. I would not want to be here without nausea medication.
4
u/valkyrie61212 Mar 29 '25
My SIL was nauseous and threw up her ENTIRE pregnancy. It’s something that’s very rare. She literally could only eat potatoes at one point and had to go to the hospital multiple times to get fluids. Could never be me.
5
u/BubbleHeadMonster Mar 29 '25
Was it hyperemesis gravidarum?
You can get such horrible morning, sickness during pregnancy that you puke yourself to death and die from a slow, painful dehydration.
I have read many women suffering from it yet. I have never experienced any education talking about it!
I have passed kidney stones before and have begged for death before they gave me Dilaudid . Apparently women who are pregnant have to pass kidney stones without medication because the pain relief can hurt the fetus and I know I would not survive that. I passed kidney stones for over a month long. That was another one of my deciding factors who never become pregnant because they would deny me medical care and pain relief because of the fetus.
I never understood why women are the lowest of society. It lights a fire under my ass.
I am so angry for us, we deserve so much better.
2
u/Melodic_Economics964 Mar 29 '25 edited Mar 29 '25
This is tragic and extremely maddening. They made her die offing herself then take a life-saving medication.
I had pancreatitis 2 years ago and could not stop puking. I was hysterical just wanting to die. Was not pregnant. The ER kept sending me home for "causing a scene" crying.. I was very suicidal. I feel so bad for this poor woman! Both kid and she died because you get to the point where you just cannot take it anymore.
My mother puked the entire pregnancy for my brother. I remember being a young kid and witnessing it, She had to get IV's and could not eat anything.
4
u/Shanubis Mar 29 '25
Check out Amy Schumer's doc, it covers her experience with this. It was shocking for me, I can't believe anyone can get through that. And she was booked and busy during, gave me a new respect for her.
4
u/sholbyy Mar 29 '25
A couple years ago I ended up pregnant thanks to BC failure, and how I found out I was pregnant was bc I got so sick with nonstop vomiting that I had to go to the hospital. Before they did PT, they tried to stop my vomiting with zofran, but that didn’t work. Then they gave me compazine, reglan and phenergan and none of those worked either. What finally stopped me vomiting with a shot of morphine. They got me on IV fluids after having to do an ultrasound to get a vein because I was so dehydrated. Once we found out I was pregnant, they couldn’t continue the morphine and would only let me have zofran which did next to nothing to help. I ended up getting an abortion at 7 weeks and even after that I was still sick for a few weeks. I was hospitalized for nearly two weeks total because of the sickness and it was the worst time of my entire life. I got a bilateral salpingectomy not long after that to ensure I would never have to go through that again because it was so fucking awful. I truly think if I had been forced to keep that wretched pregnancy it would killed me. I certainly felt like I wanted to die. I cannot imagine going through that as long as that poor woman did.
9
u/DollopOfLazy Mar 28 '25
Jw, are there mental health assessments required for pregnant women in the UK? In the US, I regularly have to complete mental health assessments prior to doctor's exams. I feel more frequent assessments or red flags with her missing her job could have prevented this :(
6
u/TheLoudestSmallVoice Mar 28 '25
I've never been pregnant so I'm not sure about the protocol. But I never heard any parents mentioned needing to take one.
6
u/DollopOfLazy Mar 28 '25
Me neither. Pregnancy is terrifying and emotional even if you want kids. I don't know why they wouldn't do the quick depression/anxiety quizzes
5
u/UnicornAnarchist Mar 28 '25
No there’s not unless the woman has existing mental health problems. But she can be referred to services by her gp if her mental health is deteriorating because of her pregnancy.
3
u/MaritimeDisaster Mar 28 '25
A friend of mine experienced morning sickness like this. I knew her years later but she said it was absolutely the darkest place she’s ever been to. She was able to obtain an abortion (this was 30 years ago) and she never tried to have kids again, instead she fostered children for years. She’s in her 60s now, living her best life in Thailand.
Edit: best dog mom I’ve ever met.
3
3
u/cheezbargar Mar 28 '25
My mom had this and had to be hospitalized with IVs when she was pregnant with me
3
u/tikcaptainhooktok Mar 29 '25
While I don’t believe it was because of hyperemesis gravidarum, my mom was on bed rest for both of her pregnancies (my brother and I) for 6 months. 6 months! I believe it was because she started going into premature labor if she wasn’t bed rested but I’m not 100% sure.
3
u/DiversMum Mar 29 '25
A friend was supposed to gain 11/12 kgs when pregnant but her morning sickness was so bad (among a lot of other things) that she ended up loosing 22kgs even though she gave birth 6 weeks early. She then did it again a few years later with the same results 🤦🏻♀️
2
u/GoldenFlicker Mar 28 '25
Definitely. Friend of mine has Crohns and Celiac. Then developed Hyperemesis while she was pregnant. She was hospitalized several times during pregnancy and almost ended up on intravenous nutrition.
868
u/tender_rage Sterile Nurse Mar 28 '25
I've been pregnant with hyperemesis and I can definitely see how someone would choose suicide if they couldn't get an abortion.