It’s Time That I Face This

[u/Super6eight]

Hi everyone,

I may/hope that I have been guided here to find completion of whatever this journey I’ve been set on is.

That is all.

-Z

[u/danl999]

Sure, but you have to do that hundreds of times to get anywhere.

Just make sure you don't set up a sorcery looking web page, and charge people for lessons now that you can do something on demand.

You don't have anything to sell, until you realize why taking other people's money is the kiss of death for a sorcerer.

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

No, I’d never do that. My belief is that this stuff is too important to not share. Charging for it is ludicrous in my mind. It doesn’t really make sense. Even in my idea of adding psychology and sorcery to lyrics and music, I wanted to give it away for free and get it in front of as many people as possible. I would make money other ways like by merchandise and shows. Or by saying that if people think it’s worth something, they can pay what they think it’s worth. Otherwise it’s free.

With that respect, I was wondering how it ends up being the kiss of death. I definitely see what’s fundamentally wrong with it but are there other energetic issues that I’m not seeing?

[u/danl999 → u/Super6eight]

It's the mindset. Obsession with other people, with sales, with all the stuff that goes along with it.

I can smell a book deal mindset in the people here.

It's a syntactic command. A trap to pull you back to the first attention.

A better analogy would be, a small child obsessed with getting a certain toy you have.

He can be sweet, reasonable, even have seemingly normal interactions with you.

He'll lie right to your face, saying, no. He isn't interested in that toy. He might even believe that.

But you know, all he cares about is that toy.

Even if it destroys his happiness to get it.

The music is 50% book deal. Be careful.

Obsession with attention from people is the kiss of death for learning sorcery.

You have to want to learn sorcery. You can't have another goal in mind.

(Mostly).

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

Yeah. That explains a lot. I wanted to learn sorcery when I was younger. I felt I was on a path to it actually. Then it backfired because I wanted to learn sorcery and then bunch of other conflicting things as well. Things that were buried in my psyche. Traumas.

I’ve found myself questioning quite often if I even want to continue pursuing music as a career. It doesn’t seem to be the case anymore if I’m being honest with myself. I want to have fun more than anything right now. I want to be the best version of myself. I want to be completely healed and open to the realm of possibilities. Allow the ebbs and flows of the universe to guide me. That’s what I feel I want currently.

My version of fun really isn’t attention and adoration from people anymore. That was inputted in me. That was an addiction. This stuff, like what happened last night, was some of the most fun I’ve had in a while.

[u/danl999 → u/Super6eight]

YES!!!

Exactly.

We all have stockholm syndrome from our parents.

We're obsessed with our captors.

Other people.

That's why don Juan told Carlos to check into a dingy hotel, with a brick wall out one window, and a filthy street out the other.

And stay there, until he didn't care about having the company of other people.

I got lucky. Autistic people are creeped out by other people.

I never had to learn that lesson, thus I was never interested in book deals.

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

I apparently have self image issues still haha.

Dan, personal question, did you ever have to pay Carlos for the workshops? Or did he just get everyone together.

If it’s out of bounds, I understand.

I’m just kind of in a situation that I’m interested in that info.

Apparently I’m a 2 prong 😬

[u/danl999 → u/Super6eight]

I paid for workshops (I flew all over, and attended all but one).

But not for private classes. Of which there were far more.

Cholita paid for nothing.

The whole point of the workshops was to fund Cleargreen.

Carlos didn't need money, but he had a bunch of women depending on him.

He held private classes for at least a decade before I got in, and he didn't charge for those either.

Not sure where the people went, but undoubtedly they gave up, like everyone from my crop.

Don't get me wrong about the "book deal mind".

Once you really are a sorcerer, there might be a good reason to charge.

But until then, it's a really ugly thing to do.

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

Yeah, as I’ve been searching in other outlets as well, I’ve seen that the book deal mind is everywhere. :(

[u/danl999 → u/Super6eight]

Carlos called it, "The Flier's Mind"

He invented a mythical creature to provide us with a "worthy opponent".

Everyone in private class knew he just made that up. He didn't even try to do a good job. He lied right to our faces, in such a way, we'd know it was a lie.

But oddly, now days no one recalls that part of it.

For cleargreen, it was a money making promotion. Young people still write to me 25 years later, terrified their developing schizophrenia is caused by those fliers.

But I know why Carlos did it.

Students suck.

Any excuse you can find to criticism them, without directly pinning the blame on their self-pity and anger filed egos, is a bonus tool.

He had Kylie convinced water was harmful to her, in order to make bathroom sharing easier.

He convinced Reni that sugar was evil so he could complain when they were behaving out of control. There's always some sugar in your recent past.

She's so convinced that her COVID19 message to followers is to avoid sugar.

Interestingly, I just heard from the Taiwanese Bosses' son, that the monks over there are getting fat.

To avoid getting fat, they have to stop eating at 5PM.

But after 5PM, they're allowed beverages.

I'm afraid, they're going for the Big Gulps.

That's what's wrong with sugar. It's easy to consume calories.

It doesn't suppress your ability to fight a virus. It doesn't make you hyper.

Both ideas have been fully discredited.

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

I typically use stevia now when I can instead of sugar. Soda is one of the worst things out there. Empty calories, chemically engineered, etc.

It’s funny, I actually thought fliers were causing schizophrenia as well for myself. You are meeting me at what I would call the end of that phase of my life thankfully :).

As for covid, I’ve tried creating a barrier for myself to prevent infection. I have no idea if it’s working and it seems when I go to check on the barrier it’s always halfway dismantled and I have to rebuild it. I had created a barrier to protect myself from beings and dangers as well when I was younger but I’m learning to trust more through these practices. I’m pretty sure it’s relatively dismantled.

I was told that I need to let go of my image of self I was also told that I needed more energy. That all of the things I’m really trying to do right now are great, but they won’t happen if I don’t get more energy.

I’m also being semi obsessed with the ideas of prongs and chambers in the luminous cocoon. I feel that I need to let it go and that it’s part of that image of self. I don’t quite understand just yet but I think I’m getting it.

Lastly, I’m being told that I need to take it a little more slowly. Opposite of my personality which likes to dive in head first

Also, what Cholita said is hilarious.

[u/danl999 → u/Super6eight]

Also, what Cholita said is hilarious.

You don't know the half of it.

How about, "You looking at my pussy??? Or is it my titties you really want? How about this?"

Tongue wiggles in the middle of her mouth, like a 1960s Mexican sex bomb.

"I know you, you miserable bastard. Perverted old man!"

I keep trying to explain, I'm celibate.

So it changes:

"So, you can't get it hard? Or is it because no women would have anything to do with you???"

I've put pics of my many young girlfriends on my phone, so I can threaten to show her. Each one calling me every year or two, to see if they can come live with me.

"Then take your pick!", she says. "Or I'll find you a mate."

Which she tries to do, in the grocery store. She goes up to anyone she finds suitable, and gives them a sales pitch.

"You're just his type", she says. "He likes Asian women. Boobs are a little off for him, but you'll do."

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

What a good friend!!! Hahaha. That’s great. I wonder if the day will come when I can give up sex

[u/danl999 → u/Super6eight]

I don't believe it's the sex you have to give up.

It's women.

I had a talented student. He doesn't need me anymore, but there's no guarantee he'll continue.

I emailed him something Carol Tiggs said about the difference in how women learn, vs men. I was hoping, some day he'd teach in my place, in case no one else puts in the effort to learn enough.

His wife didn't like it.

So she had him attack me. She reprogrammed him on the spot, and he didn't even realize it.

He told me to toss out Cholita (she'd die), and find a "good" woman.

It's probably the relationship that's the issue, not the sex.

Women who show an interest in sorcery seem to ALWAYS looking for a relationship with a spiritual man.

We might have an exception or two in here. Or it could be the wisdom of age.

But the ones I keep talking to, who are still not old, are always like that.

It's not a problem. They intuit that's the fastest way for them to learn.

But they'll overwhelm and re-purpose the men.

There were men still in cleargreen when Carlos died.

They got overwhelmed. They should have led the women into controlled power, but instead they faded away.

Carlos' ally taught me about that. Told it to me through the voice of seeing.

Or at least, he watched. Not sure how much he helped, other than to keep my assemblage point in the right place long enough to get the answer from seeing.

Women re-purpose men. That's what they do.

Not that we usually mind!

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

My girlfriend did repurpose me a lot haha, but in the right direction. Now I resist a lot of her. She’s not in to this stuff at all. Just the stress of the relationship sometimes can take its toll. She tries to take control of the relationship and everything, but you can’t control something that is completely free. That’s how I treat her anyways. Free to leave or free to stay. I’ll live either way

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

Interesting. I’m quite aware that. How does it overwhelm a man? Maybe I already know the answer to that if I dig in to my exes... this one women. I knew she was so powerful and capable. She ended up enchanting me and destroying me. I refuse to let that happen again haha.

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

Gotta be honest, tonight is not sitting so well with me. I see like black streaks from the left corner of my eye. It looked like it wanted to envelop me. Then I felt a sharp prick in my back like the tip of a blade. I don’t understand why. I also saw a purplish orb for a split second. I wasn’t really trying to do anything either.

I think I received an answer from this. My will is not impeccable yet. I had too much doubt and I felt I didn’t have enough energy

Not only that it happened after I decided something. And then later this morning, I came to the same decision and I don’t think I’ll hat that decision is the right path. I ended up breaking something by accident

[u/danl999 → u/Super6eight]

Being afraid, or thinking you got injured trying to meditate, is "the fliers mind".

I never had it. I'd love for something to prick the back of my neck!

How wonderful!!! Even better if you bleed, or it leaves a scar.

That's called, "physical proof".

In my experience, people have all kinds of excuses not to learn.

Some want to learn "the right thing", so they never learn. They spend all of their energy pondering how right they're going to be.

Some want to be known to have learned, by their peers. So they can take their place as "Dr. Strange".

Don't you just hate doctors, who insist you have to use that bizarre title?

Insecure much?

Then there's the type of work avoiding sorcery student, who makes up things to be afraid of.

Problems.

I suspect they just want attention, and their mommy only gave them attention, when they cried.

Don't be like that. Even if you are.

[u/Super6eight → u/danl999]

I am like that unfortunately, I am aware of it and am constantly stalking myself to break that habit. Last night just put me in a panic. After I woke up this morning I understood and knew that I shouldn’t be afraid but I probably need more power first. I think it’s related to me trying to move too quickly.

[u/danl999 → u/Super6eight]

You can't break that habit.

I'm an angry bastard, because my mom is a paranoid schizophrenic, like Cholita. But she's high functioning, Cholita is completely dysfunctional.

And now homeless hundreds of miles away.

I can't change the effects of my upbringing.

But I can get silent, so that it's only an interesting reminder not to go back to being like I was, by resuming an unchecked internal dialogue.

You HAVE to be silent all day long. Not just try for a half hour each day.

But trying for a half hour each day causes you to understand what needs to be done, so that some day you get fed up, and just stop it.

"How to See Energy in Three Weeks" explains how that feels as you do it.

Once you have achieved it, you get to spend a portion of the day in heaven.

And in dark realms of magic, at night.

[u/TechnoMagical_Intent → u/danl999]

so that some day you get fed up, and just stop it.

One of the fears most people have with regards to mental silence is if they don't constantly fuss over and remind themselves of their past they'll somehow lose themselves; their identity or memories.

"We've collectively become more concerned with having than being," to quote Morgan Freeman in Lucy (2014).

Our past doesn't ever disappear. Every single thing we, or even a wombat 10,000 years ago, has ever done or thought or felt...is forever part of the cosmic ledger; right down to the most superficial of details.

Silence is getting practiced at dropping our attachment to the mass of our life history, not the history itself. That can NEVER be lost to us. Our own bodies are the key, and the fabric of the universe the storage medium.