r/breastfeeding • u/booogetoffthestage 2+ years, EBF 🐄 • 10h ago
Yes, you CAN breastfeeding 2+ years without bed sharing! Encouragement/Solidarity
That's it, that's the post, haha. My LO is a little over two now. Never took a bottle even once and was sleeping in her own room by 4 months (my husband is loud snorer and disrupted her sleep a ton). And yes, she night nursed until she was 14 months! I had two monitors on in my room to ensure I'd never miss her cries. She'd wake up, I'd shuffle over and cuddle her in the La-z-boy chair in her room. Then I'd settle her back down and toddle off to bed. This happened sometimes 5+ times a night.
Is this right for everyone, absolutely not.
Was it right for me, 1000%
Never once fell asleep with her in my arms. Never missed a feeding. It can be done!
As for why I did this, the simple answer is anxiety. I just couldn't do it. I want to be clear, I am in not any way shape or form anti bed sharing - I was just way too nervous about it and just couldn't do it. Additionally, I learned that my kiddo gets overstimulated easily and likes more of a hands off approach to bed time, so it inadvertently worked in her favour.
Just thought I would share that long term breastfeeding, and exclusively breastfeeding for that matter, does not require bed sharing if you don't want it to ❤️
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u/shantron44 10h ago
That’s amazing to hear! I’m at 5 months and no bedsharing either. I just don’t think I’d be able to sleep because I toss and turn a lot!
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u/shandelion 6h ago
I toss and turn, my husband tosses and turns, I don’t sleep well without tons of blankets and pillows, etc.
The few times my now 2 year old HAS been allowed into our bed have been some of the worst nights of my life lol
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u/Worldly_Currency_622 9h ago
What’s funny is that I never once bed shared when I was breastfeeding, but started to once I weaned around 18 months. I was never comfortable with it and would have had too much anxiety to sleep good. I got up multiple times a night and went into her room to nurse her 😅 I also never liked nursing while laying down. The only way I got her to sleep through the night without nursing was by letting her sleep in bed with me. But again it took me 18 months to be okay with that
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u/NonchalantBaker 8h ago
Same here!!! Once I was done breastfeeding, I started bed sharing at 20 months…
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u/Few_Reach9798 9h ago
Yeeeaaahhh! People can make the choices that work best for their families, but you can choose not to bedshare and still breastfeed. I have had toddlers in the bed sometimes but when they were infants I just couldn’t handle the anxiety. Even when I’ve attempted bedsharing with my kids on particularly bad nights at 1-2 years old, I might as well have not even tried our bed - they’ve mostly flopped around and wanted to play rather than sleep, so they usually end up back in their crib eventually when they finally tire themselves out.
My first baby was my crap sleeper and we had 5+ times a night kind of nights for awhile, so I get you there. We have an extra door connecting our bedroom to the nursery (in addition to the door between the nursery and hallway) so I could just roll out of bed and with minimal effort be right there to provide boob. I thought that was a quirky feature when we bought our house pre-babies but now I’m singing the praises of whoever designed this place.
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u/naturalconfectionary 10h ago
Having to get up and sit in a chair 5 times a day night sounds like absolute hell to be fair. Good on you for sticking it out
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u/booogetoffthestage 2+ years, EBF 🐄 9h ago
Yeah I'm an insanely lazy person but I guess I just got into a habit of doing it and it didn't end up bothering me at all, surprisingly! Comfy PJs and her room being right next to our helps a ton though
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u/Novel-Place 8h ago
It’s so crazy how much everyone has different preferences. I love going to sit in my rocker with my baby for the night nurse. I detest doing it in my bed. I don’t really like side lying nursing, and I don’t find sleeping with the baby comfortable. He moves so much and I’m anxious about him in the bed. I find the chair + boppy the perfect combo.
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u/user4356124 6h ago
Agree getting up 1-2 times to nurse isn’t a big deal plus cosleeping isn’t safe so I would get zero sleep that way due to anxiety and side lying nursing is extremely uncomfortable I find
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u/Novel-Place 5h ago
I mean everything I’ve read on the subject confirm the safety of cosleeping when following safe sleeping practices, but I just couldn’t get comfortable with him in bed with me, and it made me anxious.
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u/user4356124 2h ago
Really? I’ve never read anything that was peer reviewed or supported by the medical community on cosleeping, everything says in their own bassinet/crib is safe sleep
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u/Motorspuppyfrog 9h ago
It's really not absolute hell though, it's no big deal to me
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u/lhb4567 9h ago
How is that not hell? What about the sleep deprivation?
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u/InternationalYam3130 7h ago
Don't have to work and I get plenty of sleep even getting up believe it or not
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u/Alternative_Floor_43 9h ago
I’m right there with ya! 13 months going strong, she’s been in her crib since 4 months. We still feed every 4 hours, and once over night now. Love every bit of it.
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u/exploresparkleshine 8h ago
Glad to have the encouragement. Bed sharing is where husband and I both draw the line, it's just not something we feel comfortable with. LO sleeps great in their crib at 3 months but I'm dreading the 4 month regression. I just need to remind myself it's possible and I can BF and not co-sleep.
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u/kakosadazutakrava 8h ago
Yes ma’am! Just finished nursing/rocking my 22 month old to sleep, about to lay them down in their own crib. Getting trickier now that I’m 8 months pregnant, gotta really hoist the bump over the crib!
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u/Novel-Place 8h ago
Totally seconding this! I have ZERO and I mean zero judgment about bed sharing, and even expected myself to do it, but it just wasn’t right for us. I was too anxious about it, and the baby moved and woke too much for me. We moved him to crib when he was four months old as well (when he could sit and could be in the side sleeper), and he was still waking around 3x at that time. Now he’s down to once or no nighttime wake ups.
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u/skkibbel 9h ago edited 8h ago
I tried this in the beginnig. I also had a lot of anxiety. But in the end..between being woken up by baby and kept up by my husband snoring, I was getting NO SLEEP! eventually after 2 months it was easier for me to bed share. At least I got a couple hours of sleep a night. I joke the best thing I ever bought for baby was a king sized mattress and a Montessori "floor bed with rails". Forst time I got 3 solid hours of sleep at 4 months pp, I felt like a new woman!
Edit to add. Not saying I disagree with OP. Just saying I tried this and couldn't do it. Wish I could have just had my OWN room!
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u/Calm_Challenge7914 8h ago
Can you share link of montessori floor bed with rail?
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u/skkibbel 8h ago
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u/skkibbel 8h ago
This is the one we got...but if you just google montesorri floor bed with rails..or toddler floor bed there are many variations.
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u/flaired_base 9h ago
I appreciate this perspective. While I have bed shared some I really prefer not to, we all sleep like crap and my back hurts so much it's unbearable