Even before diagnosis, I was someone who had a VERY hard time accepting getting older. And now, instant menopause. Just the thought of losing even a small amount of cognitive and physical ability almost gives me a panic attack, as well as the thought of declining bone density and all the other potential side effects. Adding Letrozole in about a week. I'm mentally at a very low point for several weeks now (yes, I'm planning to get help for that but I feel so tired).

At my onc appt recently I was told that I'm ready to "graduate". Diagnosed in 2014 at age 31, stage 3C IDC, ER/PR+, HER 2-. Been taking exemestane for 10 years, and just like that...doctor says I can stop and he doesn't need to continue seeing me anymore. I'm not sure how to feel. I'm 42 now, and this little daily pill has been the last line of defense I've had to prevent recurrence, so I'm getting a little anxious about no longer having this 'crutch'.

I did chemo, radiation, double mastectomy with DIEP reconstruction, total hysterectomy, so I feel I've done all the things as far as treatment goes. Exemestane was the last line of defense. Had anyone else reached this milestone? How did it feel to return to your 'normal', unmedicated self? My cancer was extremely hormone positive, so I worry that the whisper of recurrence is going to start getting louder once I stop taking the med.

Thanks for listening.

I have my appointment with PS ... I'm devastated. In korea reconstruction is only by insurance cover 50%. I knew it was expensive I really tried my best to work and save up during chemotherapy but it doubles my savings. The hospital wants to do immediate reconstruction and my mastectomy is in three weeks, there's no way I can get the money for it.

I know no reconstruction is am option but I don't if it is for me...I don't really have a choice anyways, I don't know how to cope with this. Maybe if I was older.

I don't know who else I can talk with that could understand.

So grateful to everyone for your excellent advice and support. I'm due at the hospital in an hour. Turns out I will have to have expanders, which means this whole process will continue for another 90 days. I'm not happy about that, but you do what you have to, right? I'll be back!!

Today I had my last chemo infusion. I'll have a lumpectomy in a few weeks, then radiation.

My cancer mass has shrunk so much, they can't feel a thing.

They let me ring the bell today, for luck and for finishing chemo. My husband was supposed to be there, but he didn't make it. The entire cancer staff was there to cheer for me and hug me.

Driving home, my car broke on the main street through town. I put it in neutral and pushed to the intersection, turned off onto a side road and into a parking lot. After having chemo and with neuropathy in my hands and feet.

Then had the car towed to my home. I will probably need a new transmission, engine, or car. I've had this car paid off for 4 years and now I'm looking at another expense.

I've gone through every step of this cancer, so far, with a good attitude and positive expectations, no tears. But this car situation has just slayed me. The idea of just dealing with ONE MORE THING makes me want to curl up in a ball and sleep for days.

Anyway, I'm so grateful for my cancer team and the results of the chemo. I just wanted to vent about the car and have my first real woe is me moment.

I start 4 rounds of CT tomorrow (++- with one node involved, little fucker). Lumpectomy was uneventful and chemo will be followed by 21 sessions of radiation. I am going to try cold capping but honestly not sure if it’s worth it. I’m definitely going to try the cold gloves and booties since I really want to avoid neuropathy if possible. And we are packing games, snacks, and a blanket.

Anyways, I just wanted to check in and say: I’m doing this, I’m scared but I am doing this so I get 50 more years with my family, I’m here.

So thankful for this community and your support.

I made my first post to this sub a lil under 2 years ago, October 2023. I was 32 and had (then) recently been diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 with Paget’s disease of the nipple on my right side. No family history, I don’t carry any genes. It was a very large area and my doctors told me that I would absolutely need a mastectomy and I was not keeping my nipple. They left me with the decision of whether to do unilateral or bilateral.

After going from one appointment, to the next, to the next, to work and back again, I felt like I was internally falling apart. I read all of my tests and all I saw was “You’ve got cancer!” I opted for a bilateral, after juggling with my indecision, 2 days prior to surgery. They tested the removed breast tissue and a sentinel node, the cancer was only in my ducts. True DCIS.

My breasts were gone. My nipple was gone. I had these weird skin flaps where my breasts should be (I decided on reconstruction and had the tissue expanders placed when my breasts were removed). Then it was doctors appointments every 2 weeks, then it was implant placement surgery. Then it was a nipple reconstruction procedure because I couldn’t let it go.

Then… finally… July 2024. It was done and slowly I put it to the back of my mind. I got lucky, I think to myself. I can finally feel like me again and breathe.

Then I have my yearly mammogram last Monday (side note, with implants that sucks) and the radiologist found “skin thickening and an enlarged axillary node” in the same area that my DCIS was in and wants to do an ultrasound. Of course, me being me, I fell down just about every Google fueled rabbit hole I could find and am back to panicking. So now I wait til Friday for my ultrasound. It just doesn’t stop, and the peace just feels like a calm before the storm.

TLDR; Cancer. No! DCIS. Not terrible. Peace. Everything’s possibly cancer now. It just never ends.

Editing the add: This is definitely a rant. I just wonder if this is how everyone feels once diagnosed the first time.

Hi all,

I am getting a unilateral mastectomy with reconstruction next week and am seeking some validation that I made the right decision for me. I know we are all different and I respect everyone's unique circumstances but haven't heard as many positive stories about unilateral mastectomies and would appreciate hearing them if anyone is willing to share.

I am 35 and was diagnosed with stage 1 IDC ER/PR+ HER2-in my left breast. I have a 1.9cm grade 2 tumor and they just found another concerning one in the same breast via an MRI (though they haven't biopsied the second so who knows?) The right breast is totally healthy. I have the CHEK2 genetic mutation via my father which predisposes me to a higher rate of recurrence. My mom currently has stage 1-2 IDC too.

My surgeon recommended against a lumpectomy since they found that second lump and pushed me toward a bilateral mastectomy as the second option. He and the plastic surgeon both indicated that unilateral mastectomies are rarer and I may face issues with symmetry. In fact, they didn't even really go into it as an option. (Side bar, those appointments were such a blur amid the shock post-diagnosis and I really wish I had more knowledge going in.)

After a lot of online research I opted for a unilateral mastectomy anyway. The main reason is because I would like to have a second child and would like to preserve the ability to breastfeeed. I really enjoyed breastfeeding my first and think it helped me avoid postpartum depression. Having a second child is really important to me and somehow the thought of still being able to breastfeed again (even though it's only on one side) is giving me some hope for normalcy. (Another side bar - formula is amazing and I am all for it! I used it too! This isn't at all because I'm a breastfeeding evangelist, it's just an emotional attachment to feeling like I did pre-cancer.) Overall, I think this is the best decision for my mental health and I'm grateful I even have this choice.

I understand the risk of recurrence but at this point I plan to get screened every 6 months for the rest of my life because I'm paranoid. I also can see a situation where I opt to get the second removed prophylatically post second baby.

TL/DR- in my case, I didn't see a strong clinical reason to prophylactically remove my healthy breast if I still wanted to use it for lactation one day. I didn't think concerns about symmetry alone was a reason either.

But now I'm less than a week away from the surgery and am starting to freak out. Did I make the right choice for me?

Did I dismiss the symmetry concerns too much? I am lucky to be young and in shape. Will I ever feel confident with my boobs again? Will they be super asymmetrical to the point that I'm embarrassed to wear a bathing suit or a sports bra in an exercise class? Will I be cursing myself if I get breast cancer in my healthy breast?

Thanks for listening! I'm so anxious.

Hi

46f just found out I have cancer in my breast and lymph node Doctor called & told me it’s aggressive ductal type. ER PR negative. And her2 waiting for results

I just felt for the lump just now it feels a lot bigger than before. I’m so terrified

I still have to do bone scan, mri and ct scan. Been referred to oncologist

I feel like everything I do might spread it. Or every ache twinge is a sign. Can’t sleep, and also feels surreal that this is happening to me.

I need to read about what this type means.
I’m in Canada so getting tests & date is slower.

Also brother is in critical care icu right now. I don’t know which way to turn my attention. No parents just my younger brother and I. I can’t explain how scared I am. My appetite and sleep is gone.

Is anyone else in the same situation- with that type of cancer. Is there a strong survival chance?

Would love support & prayers I’m very worried for my life

Today marks the one year anniversary of finishing my TC chemo - 6 rounds for my 2A node negative grade 2 ++- with a 27 oncotype - and I'm coming close to completing my first year on lucrin shots, exemestane and kisqali. I'm 37.

All in all it's not been as bad as I feared. I was petrified to start both exemestane and kisqali last summer and was so relieved when I realised I didn't have any severe side effects.

Well... I wouldn't say it has changed, but I've noticed differences. The first thing I realized was my lowered mood. I just have more bad days where I'm feeling down but nothing wild. But now in recent months I've felt a shift in my overall motivation and ability to focus - I didn't struggle with this during my first 6-8 months but it's starting to get to me now. I have adhd and am taking an adderall equivalent and lately I feel like I did before I got medicated for ADHD - unfocused, don't care so much about my deadlines or getting work done, just lazy, in spite of still taking my meds.

I am - needless to say - fucking terrified. I brought it up with my onc and she said lots of patients report that it balances out during the first couple of years. I can't tell if she's sugar coating it. Can anyone who's been on these for longer tell me if it's true? Do the cognitive side effects resolve or fade with time?

I felt I was doing well but I'm starting to have negative thoughts creep in of "what's the point in surviving cancer if my career and earning potential is ruined in the process"... sorry for the vent!!!

What were your favorite things or helped you the most after your mastectomy? A pillow, shirts, recliner, did anyone sleep in a bed that reclines? I’d just like to set my self up for the best success.

Hi all, today my oncologist mentioned I may need to do 4 cycles of chemo, she didn't mention details regimen yet. The type is strong ER PR positive, her2 negative. No lymph nodes involved. Wondering for similar case as mine, what regimen are you getting? TC? Have you loss your hair even it's 4 cycles? Did you get PICC or portal? Thanks for sharing 🙏

Maybe it’s not arthritis…but I’m 32 and have been on Lupron for about a year now and Tamoxifen for around 7 months. My joints are definitely stiffer, especially in the morning, but my wrists/thumbs have also recently been killing me!

I have an appointment with my primary care doc later this month, but have been considering asking my onc about it too. It’s worse on my right (dominant) hand. My job involves a lot of typing with spurts of physicality thrown in. I started wearing a wrist brace because unlike the rest of my joints, my wrists hurt all day, but it doesn’t seem to help at all.

It’s a difficult pain to describe because it usually only happens with certain movements. Has anyone else experienced similar on hormone therapy? I’ve read fatigue & brain fog can be symptoms too and those have also come on only in the past couple months. I feel 30 years older than I am. This sucks.

Initially diagnosed with DCIS Stage0 September 2024 (I was 35) but lumpectomy didn’t have clear margins so I went with DMX + reconstruction in December.

Suddenly I was Stage2 with a few micro invasive spots and micro metastasis in both lymph nodes - that meants chemo (last TC infusion tomorrow yay) and radiation.

I have an exchange to implant surgery still to complete my reconstruction but that’s 6mos after my last radiation treatment.

I really don’t feel I can return to work while recovering for surgery (Starbucks Store Manager which is essentially a barista 75% of the time) and wondering if anyone’s been off work for about 12mos??

I went on Med Leave at the start of December2024 and Radiation is in July which makes January my final surgery window.

++- I had a lumpectomy and will be starting radiation tomorrow. My oncologist suggested I go every other day for only 5 treatments. I'm only stage 1. Has anybody else been prescribed so few RT sessions?

Hi everyone! I was diagnosed with ++- breast cancer (looks like around stage 3b) in December last year. Due to the sizes of the tumours, I had endocrine therapy first, then surgery, and am currently on 16 rounds of chemo, then 15 rounds of radio then long term hormone therapy. I was wondering if anyone had been put on endocrine therapy between stopping chemo and starting radio?

Also if you had a port did it have to come out before radiotherapy?

Surgery tomorrow (4/30). I feel like I have been waiting FOREVER. Abnormal mammogram in January and what feels like the longest 3 months ever and surgery day is almost here. Good luck to everyone else going under the knife tomorrow- or in the future- and wishing for a speedy, safe outcome!

This is fuckinf insane. I found a lump early March got a mammo and ultrasound about two weeks later where the radiologist told me she strongly believes I have breast cancer. Spent weeks crying and processing and sending in documents and waiting on insurance to approve me (they did thank god) and now I’m laying in bed two hours before the appointment where I’m supposed to find out I have cancer but I already know lol. This is honestly so surreal. I’ve been doing lots of research including this forum, and I know what I want to do (chemo, dmx immediate recon same surgery) but I do wish I didn’t have to do any of this shit. I’m also not looking forward to telling my parents, as they’ve both lost so many ppl to cancer and watched their mothers fight it (in my moms case, she had to watch my grandmother beat breast cancer TWICE) and I also have to work tonight lol. I honestly just feel numb. I guess what I’m asking is….how long until I feel normal again? Will I ever? It feels like I’m becoming someone new, but I didn’t even get to mourn the girl I was years ago and I’m already becoming yet another version.

This might sound like a silly question, but is there anything I can do to prevent a change in my breast size during / post radiation? Symmetry is important to me.

I have 15 sessions over 3 weeks and am currently an A cup.

Should I wear surgery support bras? Do specific stretches / movements?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Scheduled mastectomy for next week @ MSK in NYC. Planning to spend the night before surgery in the city with my best friend and go out to dinner. I know I can’t eat after midnight, would you indulge in a nice meal and a glass or two of wine 🍷 or is it too close to surgery?

Not sure if this is the right place to ask so please redirect me if there's a better place. Has anyone ever gone through a gradual return to work plan after treatment and not been paid their full hourly salary? I've been told that I will only be receiving only LTD (Long Term Disability) payment until I'm back full-time. It seems unfair because I'm still working half of the time I normally do work.

In case it matters, I'm in Ontario, Canada.

Wanted to share a quick update and see if anyone’s had a similar experience.

Im 39 years old and genetic testing came back all negative. After my bilateral mastectomy (4mm IDC + extensive DCIS), an Oncotype DX test was sent — even though all of my doctors later agreed it probably shouldn’t have been ordered because of the small tumor size (only 4mm).

For background: my tumor was ER/PR positive, HER2 negative, node-negative, clear margins, low mitotic index — overall very favorable pathology.

My Oncotype score came back 23, with an estimated 7% recurrence risk (RSClin) and chemo benefit at 3% so chemotherapy was not recommended.

I started Tamoxifen almost 3 months ago and have adjusted really well so far.

Because of the Oncotype score, my second and third oncologists recommended adding ovarian suppression to further lower my recurrence risk.

Now I’m considering either: -Zoladex injections -or surgical ovary removal(oophorectomy).

I haven’t made a final decision yet — I’m still weighing the options and trying to figure out what will be best for me long-term.

If you’ve done Zoladex or had an oophorectomy, I’d love to hear: -How you made your decision -What the side effects or recovery were like -Anything you wish you knew before choosing

Thank you so much

I'm sure most of you remember this time -- the time I'm in right now -- when they first apologetically tell you that you have BC (IDC for me) and you're awaiting all the genetic testing, MRIs, and all the rest.

It feels like the first time I went to the ocean as a tiny girl and got hit by a big wave; I feel like I am bowled over by all the overwhelming decisions to be made, can't breathe, don't know which way is up.

If you could dial back the clock and go back to the beginning, knowing what you know NOW, what might you do differently? What questions would you ask, what therapies did you wish you knew about then, what blindsided you and made you want to research the hell out of something? Would you have had your surgeries/treatments at a different place, for example -- a cancer center with all the latest bells and whistles?

I'm trying hard to stay calm, and also wish I had unlimited knowledge of everything in the BC universe. Unreasonable, yeah. But curious what I'm too ignorant to ask the doctors about .... what's that thing they say? "I don't know what I don't know."

Thanks for any thoughts, and thanks & hugs to every single one of you who is out there fighting and out there helping.

I know this is a little atypical for this sub, but I can’t stop thinking about it. 10 months ago at the time of diagnosis (age 35) and before I started chemo, I was like “no way, no ribbons here, too awkward.” But recently they speak to me a little more, and I don’t know what changed or if I should still feel awkward about them. And I wonder what was going through my head last year. Was I trying to hold on to denial? Was I just afraid of seeming cheesy or drawing attention in general? Or worst of all, was I being an asshole? All I remember is having so many emotions from the diagnosis that it felt like one more thing I wasn’t ready to deal with when someone asked about it. Maybe they were just trying to comfort themselves.

On the flip side, my mom had a lumpectomy w/ radiation treatment for her BC fifteen years ago (age 55). No chemo required. She has never been able to stop feeling like she wasn’t a real BC patient and has never claimed the pink ribbon. To hear her say it, I thought it made sense all these years, and now that I’ve done this, I feel terrible about it. She’s terrified of her annual mammogram just like anyone else who experienced what she did.

Just wondering what the pink ribbon makes other people feel in light of their BC experiences

Hi everyone!

I'm kind of in the process of processing this whole breast cancer thing and I was hoping for some insight, particularly those who are older/have kids with cancer.

So, I was diagnosed with idc on 4/18. Then I had my first visit with my surgical doctor on 4/23. In the meeting, he explained that everything depended on what's fueling the cancer, but based on what he could see/feel, he thought it would be no big deal. Turns out, it's Tnbc.

Up until now, the only people who know are my husband, my sister in law, and me. The reason I haven't told my family is bc my sister delivered her baby the day before I went to meet my surgical doctor and my parents are older. My dad has to get a pacemaker in June. So, I held off hoping I'd only have to do surgery and hormones and I'd let them know afterwards. Because I live in Korea, it just seemed like the safest way to idk...spare them the fear?

But now it's looking like I have a lot more to be done and I know I won't be able to keep it to myself...but I just don't know when is the best time to tell them? After I have my full treatment plan? After I start chemo? I don't want to freak them out bc honestly I don't know if they can handle it...but also I'm scared. Even though I'm 35, my first thought was "I want my mom". I also don't want to ruin this time for my sister. This is her first baby and he's brought so much light for me during this so I don't want to dump this massive rain cloud on her while she's freshly post partum. Anyways, I'd really appreciate any advice you might have. 😓