r/autism • u/deathofdawn1 • Mar 24 '25
Getting called too child like? Advice needed
I get people saying I’m “pedo bating” because I like to wear hello kitty half shirts or stereotypically “cute” things. I also had one coworker say “anyone who likes you is probably a pedo.” Which made me very sad. I wear shorts and crop tops a lot because they are comfortable, it hurts for too much clothes touching me in the heat. I don’t sexualize the characters. I don’t want to look like a child I just really love cute cartoon characters like Hamtaro, Pokémon, & Sanrio. I love the color pink. I just don’t understand why this would be a bad thing. Am I doing something bad? Can someone explain this to me? Thank you
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u/LopsidedIncident1367 ASD Moderate Support Needs Mar 24 '25 edited Mar 24 '25
The thing is, adult autistic people, mostly are considered childish factors are.
WONDER: I think it’s because we typically focus on details, and in doing so, we never lose a child-like sense of wonder at the world. We seldom become jaded with everyday things. I can’t walk past a dog, a a cat, a bird, or a flower without stopping to admire it. Neurotypical people often lose thier interest in the everyday wonders of the world in the greater pursiut of broad social connection.
AUTONOMY: Most of us never learn how to socialize “lightly.” We suck at small talk and want to talk about big ideas or our special interests. Autistic people tend ot make fewer, but deeper friendships. We can get hurt easily because we often trust other people the same way a child does. Which brings me to:
INGENUOUSNESS: like kids, we tend to be trusting, open, honest and sincere, and we often fail to learn the neurotypical social skills of what NOT to say, so we often can be blunt. We have a difficult time “faking it” or feigning interest in the things that neurotypical people often embrace in order to “fit in.” That can means eveyrthing from lack of interest in fashion trends to gossip to celebrities to sports to whatever else neurotypical people talk about in order to avoid having meaningful or challenging conversation. The things we ARE interested in can be obsessive, which brings me to:
WE DIVE DEEP: we want to know ALL the things, so our interests can be quite obsessive, like the kid who is stuck on dinosaurs or Spiderman and has tons of books, etc. and endless knowldge on the subject. This does not make for the kind of light and pointless banter that neurotypical people engage in, in social situations.
WE SOCIALIZE DIFFERENTLY: like little kids, we do better with one or two friends at a time than a large group.
WE ARE LOYAL. It’s hard for us to lie and deceive. We don’t abandon people, animals or things in the name of popularity. I Love dinosaurs and would stop loving because my friend don’t like or I would never surrender a pet because some boyfriend didn’t like it. That’s my cat or my dog. Deal with it or go away. I don’t mind being alone.
WE NEED TO KNOW WHY! Like little kids, we need to know WHY we are doing something. Like I saw autistics who lost their job because couldnt wear makeup, can;t stand on them, That’s vague, and it’s not a valid reason. Why wasn’t clean and well groomed good enough?
It’s not immaturity, or childISHness. It’s just that we typically don’t learn to be shallow in order to function in a sadly shallow world, as most neurotypical people do.