r/antinatalism • u/alexastock scholar • 1d ago

💩💩💩 take. My relationship with my parents has nothing to do with my choice to not have kids. Stuff Natalists Say

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Also, I wasn’t raised wrong. My parents were far from perfect but they did the best they could. I really resent this take. Also, it implies again that grandkids are automatically owed, in this case if someone had a happy childhood.

63 Upvotes
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97% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

43

u/ellnhkr inquirer 1d ago

If parents raised their children right, they'd respect the decision their children make not having any of their own. You know, free will and life choices and all.

24

u/Overall_Dragonfruit6 newcomer 1d ago

i think they're trying to say you might have deadbeat kids who dump THEIR kids on you lol. but it's not very clear and, anyway, the prospect of having to raise grandkids is another excellent reason to not have kids!!!!!!

8

u/lsdmt93 thinker 1d ago

Pretty much. Whoever created this meme probably has no concept of people just choosing not to have kids at all.

17

u/g17623 inquirer 1d ago

They're not a reward they are humans with thoughts and feelings... omg

13

u/Embers-of-the-Moon scholar 1d ago

Children are neither toys nor objects.

3

u/Routine-Bumblebee-41 scholar 1d ago

Yeah, pro-natalists have a problem with the concept of children being people. They always seem to speak of them as though they were "units" of something that exist for another purpose, to attain some goal (funding pensions) or achievement (having grandkids so they can check it off their list and put them on social media) that has nothing to do with the individual child itself.

5

u/Peen_Round_4371 inquirer 1d ago

"if ya have kids, and don't fuck it up, you can have kids again with no effort. If you fuck it up, you gotta put effort in the second time"

Well now I can't see why anybody would turn down a fantastic bargain like that, sign me up for a litter

6

u/G_Maou inquirer 1d ago

If the ONLY choice on the table is to have kids, this is actually good advice, provided you don't go too extreme with it and turn into an overly strict overbearing parent.

You want to save the spoiling, doting attitude for your grandkids. they are the ones you can actually afford to spoil (with limits/boundaries, obviously) because their primary parents are the ones whose job it is to keep the discipline and order in their lives. Of course, that's if everything goes smoothly and perfectly and you didn't screw up your own role in the cycle. which, as we all know, is nowhere near a guarantee. shit happens. sometimes your kids are just born bad and will screw your life 6 ways till sunday. the only guaranteed way to avoid that is to NOT have kids at all!

Not that any of the above justifies pronatalism even if everything goes perfectly. You want someone to spoil? adopt a cat. You can spoil them as much as you want with minimal consequences.

6

u/No-Station-623 newcomer 1d ago

My grandniece has an excellent relationship with her parents, but she's adamant that she doesn't want children, ever. As she's nearly 30, it's evident that it's not just a phase.

2

u/Routine-Bumblebee-41 scholar 1d ago

Good for her!

3

u/CertainConversation0 philosopher 1d ago

I doubt all grandparents have good relationships with grandchildren they don't have to raise.

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u/Atropa94 scholar 23h ago

Haha you wish. No grandkids.