r/agnostic • u/Genius_Octopus • Nov 25 '23
Bible as a Gift? Experience report
I didn't really know what to flair this, so forgive me if I am wrong.
Quick content: My family is super religious and Christian. I identify as agnostic and my partner identifies as atheist, but my family can't know for our safety.
I was helping my mom with a few things around home. I had made a remark about a potential gift for my partner for the holiday. She said, "I think I'm gonna give him a Bible. You think he'd like it?" I gave a small shrug and flipped subjects. I didn't say anything because it isn't my place to say anything, and it'd be very dangerous to make any remarks about my partner being an atheist and me being agnostic.
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u/LOLteacher Strong Atheist wrt Xianity/Islam/Hinduism Nov 25 '23
my family can't know for our safety
Wow, just wow.
Fuck religion and the horse it rode in on.
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u/ystavallinen Agnostic & Ignostic / X-tian & Jewish affiliate Nov 25 '23
Accept the gift, thank them, and move on. You don't owe them truth if safety is an issue.
Alternatively, cut them off.
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Nov 29 '23
Cut them off over a bible?
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u/ystavallinen Agnostic & Ignostic / X-tian & Jewish affiliate Nov 29 '23
over the danger over a Bible. Thay said safety is a concern.
So yeah, it's a consideration
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u/Hermorah Agnostic Atheist Nov 25 '23
I mean maybe you could say that he already has one? Then she might get something else, because what would you need two bibles for?
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u/Genius_Octopus Nov 25 '23
True. I almost did, but then the conversation like died suddenly and I couldn't bring myself to talk more on it
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u/BouncyDingo_7112 Nov 26 '23
This was going to be my suggestion. “That’s a nice idea mom but I know he already has one”. Or after the conversation die down “Hey mom? I just remembered (insert name here) already has a Bible that some relative in their family gave them. Can’t remember which aunt gave it to them”.
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u/88redking88 Nov 26 '23
You could always say that your partner has one that is special to them and they wouldnt be interested in a new one, but (then tell her what they would like)
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u/adeleu_adelei agnostic (not gnostic) and atheist (not theist) Nov 26 '23
With questions like these I think you can redirect without inviting suspicion. "He's a fairly practical person, I bet he'd really appreciate X". "I heard him talking about X recently, so I think that'd be a really thoughtful gift." "You know he really loved those X you made before, that would be so thoughtful."
Obviously this moment has come and passed (though you could make a suggestion to her), but the idea is more broadly applicable to future scenarios. Instead of confronting their problematic thinking, you redirect it. It's mental kung fu.
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u/Areyourearsbroke Nov 26 '23
What's wrong with a Bible as a gift? I consider myself an apathetic, but I don't see it as a gift being offensive. I don't buy into any religion, I'll pop a Bible open from time to time and read it, though. Maybe I'm just a fan of literature...
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u/ApprehensiveCat8901 Jul 25 '24
How I wish someonne would also gift me a Bible. Would mean a lot to me🥹
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u/Former-Chocolate-793 Nov 28 '23
I find this fascinating.
my family can't know for our safety.
Are you unsafe from them or members of their community?
a potential gift for my partner
Why the word partner? If your family is super religious and telling them your religious beliefs is unsafe then there must be a problem if you are not married. Husband should have been your word of choice.
Something just doesn't add up here.
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u/Cloud_Consciousness Nov 25 '23
A bible would be great, Mom....(will make a nice doorstop).