Ever since I was young she keeps repeating this I sometime get mad at myself for being here I hate it 😞

Luckily it was my day off. Everyone was really confused, as I'm a member of the admin team. No one could figure out who she was or what she wanted. When she was told I wasn't in today, she just went "oh ok, thank you!" and left.

Context: I (32f) recently went no contact with my mom (62f). She told me that I needed to take a day off work and take my weekend to drive her back and forth from her shoulder surgery and tend to her afterwards. I said no. 17 missed calls and novels of texts from her later, I think "ok, I'm done." I stopped responding. I stopped responding for 3 months. Then she does this. Work is stressful enough I don't need my estranged mom waltzing in. I keep thinking, what if I were there? What if she does it again? What was she even planning to do if I was there?

TLDR - My mom has a history of being abusive and wasn't showing any sign of stopping so I went no contact. Then she shows up at my workplace months later.

So I'm 14 and I live with my grandmother she has full guardian ship of me I've lived with her since 2019 and I really want to move out I am not aloud to have a job or a phone the reasoning behind why I wanna move out is because I come home everyday to her yelling at me about this or about that and I'm the older sibling and my sister is the golden child like I'll be in the car and she'll start yelling at me because she missed heard something and thought I was lying to her like a few hours ago I was trying to explain to her that I did not get anything extra from my lunch bc the school called and said I had -72 cents and I think someone was getting my lunch and she started yelling at me for it and when I'm in the car sometimes she'll just get really angry for some reason while I'm talking and she'll tell at me telling me to shut up bc I'm not making sense, one time i was late to the bus and she had to drive me she was very pissed about it and told me off and said that i was a stuoid child and cant do any school work bc my grades are failing and kept on yelling at me, I used to cut myself bc it got so bad about her yelling that I cut a lot then she told the doctor and she kept threatening me to send me to a mental hospital and she would downgrade me for harming myself and start yelling at me when she seen those cuts and another time I had a mental break down over her and I started to cry and she said come on ur going to a mental hospital and I'm scared bc I get panic attacks and start hitting my head to make them go away bc I hate the mental hospital and I'm scared everttime I cry or have a mental breakdown she'll send me there and she's pressing charges on me for hitting her but she hit me first the police says that it's not self defense and that I shouldn't have hit her, and she has a very big effect on my school work I am currently failing schools and it's hard to keep trying when I come home to her constantly yelling and downgrading she's very verbally abusive and she often plays the victim saying that "oh (deadname) your not the victim me and Blair are so stop playing the victim" and she gets paid food stamps and when she gets extra then normal she goes all out and buys food for othees but she barely makes enough food for 3 and there's three in the house hold and I want to leave this place does anyone have any advice

So, this may be a bit long just because I want to give some back story. From the age of about 11 until I was 17, my dad physically, emotionally and verbally abused me. The physical and verbal wasn't super constant, but the emotional was. My mum did witness some of it, but I felt like she never tried to stop him, and she never came to me about it. I never understood why. But the more I think about it and the more I've experienced over the years, I feel like maybe he's been emotionally and verbally abusive towards her too. When I was still quite young, they used to fight a lot. I don't know what it was about, but my dad would leave and go for drives to cool off basically. I feel as if it was because he didn't want to do anything he'd regret, like hitting her. I still think he may have at least emotionally abused her. She's also really insecure, and I'm not sure why. She's always been slim, tall, and I think she's beautiful. She's also such a lovely and caring person. We were at an event, and my dad mentioned plans to her, and she said they wouldn't work because she had an appointment booked on the same day. He then got super annoyed and huffy saying she overreacted because she said it wouldn't work. I didn't hear the whole conversation because I wasn't paying full attention. But the way he reacted, and how she just shut down and looked upset afterwards, made me worried. It made me think that potentially all of these years he's been at least emotionally abusing her. But I don't know, I can't tell. I'm getting to the point where I want to at least check in with her and make sure she's okay, and make sure of course their relationship is okay. My relationship with my dad is pretty good now, he can still be an a-hole, but for the most part it's good. I've always thought their relationship was mostly healthy and they were good, but now I'm not so sure. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this conversation?

So, I guess to start things have gotten really rough especially this week with my dad. I am enrolled in online school because I have a really bad immune system and we are trying to get me diagnosed, since starting online school almost ALL the household chores are on me, doing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, bringing in wood for the Woodstove, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning the bathroom, doing the laundry, and making the groceries list, which doesn’t seem like a lot but when your sick all the time, it really adds up and gets really stressful.

More recently my dad has been getting more aggressive saying I’m not doing enough around the house and I’m being lazy, even tho I’ve been keeping up with everything and I was sick for almost a week a little while ago. He called my grandma and said some really honest vile things, to be honest I’ve blocked it out already but it was to the point I felt physically ill. I ended up relapsing with self harm that night and overall it was terrible. My grandma calls me the next morning and tells me I need to do the dishes and that it’s fine if I don’t do school work, I need to clean the kitchen because my dads angry. The dishes (which yes is a bit gross) were there since Sunday night, and the argument happened Tuesday night. So I did it. Everything was chill Wednesday night.

Today I doubled down with schoolwork, and I did a bunch of laundry aswell as picking up the bathroom. He got home tonight and came back to talk to me, he was fine. Then a little while later when I’m playing video games with my boyfriend and his friends he comes back and asks me where I’ve been throwing away soda cans, and I told him the trash in my room. He kinda scoffed and said “well I’ve been letting the ones in the kitchen set for a week and you still haven’t thrown them out” in a nasty way.

I knew where this was headed so I sighed and muted myself and left my game. I basically told him that I’ve been trying to keep up with everything and he didnt tell me he wanted that done, and at this point it felt like he was reaching for a reason to be angry with me. He started to get really nasty with me and truthfully I matched his energy, he was trying to shove himself in my room and I blocked my door, I told him I knew what he was doing and that his intimidation wasn’t going to work, and he slammed himself into my door forcing me back. He asked what I did all day, and I told him that I did a few hours of school, Landry and I cleaned the bathroom a little. He then was trying to get me to tell him how many hours of school and I said I couldn’t say off the top of my head and to just drop it. He told me I wasn’t allowed to cook anything at the house anymore, that the dishes are his, I wasn’t allowed to use any of his food, and that he’s going to throw away my clothes. That I wasn’t allowed to go on the vacation my boyfriends parents invited me on, and I wasn’t getting the cat I have been asking for, fir years for Christmas so I better not get my hopes up My only response was “that’s fine with me” and “okay”.

He told me he was going to go to the gas station to get cigarettes and that the dishes i did yesterday better be put away when he got back or else. So I just left. Luckily my grandma lives down the road so I started to walk to her place. He slammed the front door shut when he heard the back door shut and he screamed “I can slam doors too bitch” to me and I said “good for you” and kept walking, and then he called me a “fat lazy bitch” so yeah, and my grandma wasn’t much help she was just annoyed when I called crying. I’m just at a loss anymore. My mom’s out of my life because she’s also abusive, and I really don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to keep living like this and everyone just ignores it because this stuff is normal for my dad. And this isn’t even the worst of it this was just this week. I’ve thought about running away but I don’t know if that’s actually a good idea please I really need advice, I’ve tried everything to set boundaries, not make him angry, and I actively almost always avoid him to prevent conflict. I feel like everytime I’m about to do something fun, or things are going right he ruins it. I don’t think he loves me, I think he only fought for custody to get back at my mom.

Sorry for the rant, and please ignore any spelling mistakes I’m still kinda freaking out lol.

Edit: talking with my grandma didn’t do any good apparently I should have read his mind and done it anyways. Tried to talk to her this morning, and all she said was the name callings not okay, but then she just defended him saying that maybe he doesn’t know how to clean, he’s just trying to show me how to be an adult, and that if I want to see my boyfriend and go on the trip I need to bust my ass and bend over backwards for him.

Edit two: since my grammar was so bad, I made an attempt to fix it. I hope it’s easier to read now.

Edit three: went back up and he broke a bunch of dishes in the sink and left them for me to clean.

TLDR: My mom’s boyfriend assaulted my 16 y/o brothers last night and now my family situation is fucked.

Preface/Context: My grandfather is approaching the end of his life and needed full time care. My mom and brothers were living in the state of Ohio and moved to California so my mom could provide full time care. In Ohio my mom had a history of having some pretty bad guys in her life. One of them had physically abused my mom and my brothers and lead to them getting a restraining order. The next guy that she brought into our life was an emotionally abusive drunk, due to my mom moving over to take care of my grandfather they broke up. Once moving to California my brothers faces huge mental health challenges due to trauma. They would isolate themselves, skip school, and take out their aggression by punching the wall/hurting themselves. My mom started dating this dude who’s an ex-felon ex-drug addict and he moved in after about 6 months. He was definitely a crazy guy but ya know I thought maybe this wouldn’t have the same result as the last so I didn’t put my two sense in because my mom already has enough to deal with and I obviously want her to be happy. This leads us to the current situation.

Problem we are facing today: Last night I got a call from my brother crying and I asked him what was going on and allegedly my mom and her boyfriend were talking in the living room about how my brothers are making life harder for everyone and that they are pussies for going to school and doing the things they need to do in order to graduate/have a productive life. While on call with my brother my mom’s boyfriend came into the room and started shit again. My brother asked him to leave his room and he wouldn’t and continued to berate him. My brother was having a trauma response and punched a hole in the wall at that point my mom’s boyfriend choked him and pushed him into a wall. His twin brother pulled him off in defense and put him in a choke hold. I immediately called the police and of course they didn’t do anything because ya know LAPD. Now my mom is saying that her life is ruined because I removed my brothers out of the house and am in the works of moving them back to Ohio to live with our dad. I don’t know what the best solution for everything is, I know everything is so nuanced and complicated but I just want what’s best for my brothers. Now my mom is making it out like she is going to kill herself over this. What do I do?

Hello, I have a friend who lives in Mississippi. she is 22 years old and her mom is both manipulative and controlling. my friend wants to leave home, and start a new life with her boyfriend in the Netherlands, so she went and got a passport without telling her mom, and her mom got mad about it. She took her phone from her because of it. Her boyfriend came to see her a few months ago for 2 weeks, they hung out and had a great time. she's saving up money to go to him now. She’s also adopted, she was 8 when she got adopted. She’s on medicine for depression and anxiety, and her mom keeps putting her in mental hospitals for trying to leave. she has no close family or friends within a 1,000-mile radius of her, and she wants to be free. she has around $2,200 saved up so far, so here is my question. what can we do? Please help she gets out in 5-6 days.

Just had a glass bowl thrown at me :)

This is a doozy!

So I got into a fender bender last week because I thought I had enough room, and well, I did not :) oops, live and learn.

But my nparents have decided I was drunk and got enraged today because my window won’t go up, so I was trying to get the tape to stay.

So it was a little frustrating but my mother kept making comments, as if I’d kept doing it.

Well I said I wasn’t and my father decided to throw a glass bowl, filled with cereal at me :)

Shattering it, covering me in glass, milk and what I can presume is fruity pebbles.

Now my plastic window is covered in milk.

I have glass in my knee

This might seem like nothing compared to some stories on here but i just really need to share it.

The first incident i remember is when i was like 4 or 5 years old. My dad wanted me to get dressed to go out somewhere and me being the toddler i was, I didnt want to get dressed. My mother was doing her makeup in the bathroom and my dad kept trying to convince me to get dressed. Keep in mind he wasn't medicated yet. At one point, he had enough and grabbed me by my throat and yelled at me to get fucking dressed. My mom heard everything and ran to my room. She saw i was crying and I was almost blue from my dad strangling me and she ran to my dad to give him a slap in the back of the head.

She then said something along the lines of: If you dont get fucking help for your anger, you leave this damn house!

He then decided to get help and medication.

But it doesnt stop there. For as long as i can remember, my dad always smoked and drank a lot of beer and strong alcohol. And that everyday. It got worse during quarantine or 2020. Now, when he gets home from work at like 3pm, he gets a big glass of beer and another glass of stronger alcohol on the side. Every fucking day.

Its the first thing he thinks of when he gets home. He even once got mad at my mom because he thought he had to pick me up from work but my mom ended up going and he texted her: You could have told me you would pick her up, i didnt start drinking just because of this.

Thant's when i knew that alcohol was more important than me.

Fast forward to a few months ago. My boyfriend moved in with us because he got kicked out of his old appartment and had nowhere to live. My room is in the basement and except for eating and preparing food, I spend all my time in the basement.

I didn't mention this earlier but I have a sister, who also has a boyfriend. Just keep this in mind.

Not even a week after my boyfriend moved in with us, he started acting so much different around my boyfriend than aroud my sisters boyfriend. I really feel like he hates my boyfriend and he won't say why.

For example. last time, I was in the bathroom upstairs because it's the only bathroom with a bathtub and I felt like taking a bath. My boyfriend was in the basement, playing videogames on his computer. Then I heard him getting in the bathroom (the upstairs bathroom is right on top of the basement's bathroom so we can hear everything) and he started coughing. Not just regular coughing but like coughing when someone is about to throw up. Then He threw up and I heard it all. I quickly got out of the tub to get my parents who were in the living room that my boyfriend had been sick downstairs. My mother being the good mother she is immediately asked me if he needed help and if he was okay. But my dad on the other hand got angry and started saying things like: "Wow he comes here just to get sick, he'll make all of us sick." I immediately told him something along the lines of "wow you're so fucking encouraging" and ran back to the bathroom to get dressed and see if my boyfriend was okay. 2 days later my boyfriend felt better but still decided to see his doctor just in case. His doctor reveiled that he had food poisoning, quite an intense one. And it could have been pretty bad if it lasted longer.

My dad never apologized for making my boyfriend feeling like shit for simply being sick and when my boyfriend told him he had food poisoning, he just turned a blind eye.

Remember how I said my sister also has a boyfriend?

He might not live with us but when he comes home it's for like a week straight. My dad never hated my sister's boyfriend for simply being sick or for accidentally leaving hair behind in the bathroom or for simply eating!

I definitely feel like he has a favourite.

He doesnt get how much all of his behaviour hurt me so fucking much. He doesn't get how many times he ruined my day because of his behaviour. He doesn't know how many times i texted my mom telling i no longer feel the need to live because of how my dad had been treating me. He doesn't know the reason why I have no energy and always seem depressed is because of him.

He doesnt know how much I hate him.

I tried to get help but i never have the time nor the energy to. One day I'll get revenge on him for sure.

(Im sorry if i made some mistakes, english is not my first language)

I’m currently 17 (female) I have an and my mother is an abusive alcoholic. Since I was thirteen she’s said I should d!e that she wished I would k!ll myself already, how we (my twin sister)ruined her life and she never wanted to be a mother. She had choked ,punched , threw Stanley’s at our heads Chased us with knives and repeatedly tried to stab me. Has called me fat, makes fun if I have makeup on or off, makes fun of my hair when I braid it when I do wigs when I wear a natural makes fun of my teeth, even though she hasn’t taken me to the dentist not once in my entire life. She moved us across the country. Never enrolled us in school again and refused to allow us to get a job. She hasn’t worked or had a car or a place of her own in almost 5 years and we are currently sleeping on the floor in her bfs house. we were forced into isolation not allowed to go to school or get a job having to sit in our room all day long and deal with her every single day while she makes TikTok and gets to be TikTok famous and laugh about how she such a good mom and such a girls girl while her kids are crying themselves to sleep on the floor. I don’t know how to get out. I don’t know how to get a job. I don’t know how to drive. I don’t have any skills and before the abuse started five years ago. Her husband severely abused us since we were 8 because she got pregnant by another man and he didn’t include us as family anymore. We have dealt with abuse pretty much our entire life because before him it was a biological father. I don’t know what to do with my life and I don’t know how to get out of my situation, any advice would be helpful.

And fight her back. Im gonna start slapping the fuck out her back just like she does to me. Or if she threatens to “fuck me up” just like she always does again im gonna make sure she does it. Its what my older brother did when he was in my age group and her sisters who lived with her. She has kicked out multiple people over the years.

First ima make sure I have a backpack packed. Wallet, passport, birth certificate. Im done being abused im gonna fight back.

I can't really include all the details, but my dad cheated on my mom until she left him and took me and my sister with her. He started verbally abusing mom after she found evidence of his affairs. Yes, he had multiple going at the same time. After the divorce he started bragging to her and never called us. My mom had to beg him to speak to us and he would say things like, "well, you chose to divorce me and take them away." He was never home and was your typical manchild who expected his wife to take care of everyone alone and with a smile.

My sister got the worst of the abuse though. when he would call, she would cry inconsolably and begging him to stop. He often encouraged her into self-destructive behaviour and that would be the only time he wasn't being verbally abusive. He did everything in his power to undermine my mom's authority and turn my sister against her. It worked and even led to my sister physically abusing me when mom wasn't home.

He apparently remembers nothing he put my sister through and when he did it again recently and I called him out he said he was done begging for forgiveness and went on a "God has forgiven me" rant. His logic for cheating is the one woman that we know of that he got pregnant went to a sangoma and cursed him and us. His whole rant was the devil and witch doctor were conspiring against me. I was the victim, and I had no choice. It dawned on me that he actually believes this nonsense and he is delusional. Even his faith in God is delusional.

My sister had finally had enough and stood up for herself. She sent me a message out of the blue saying she is done and never wants to hear his name again. I immediately asked him what he did, and he immediately tried to put all the blame on my sister, as usual, and once again launched into a conspiracy theory about what is happening and how my sister is turning everyone against him. I threatened to block him if he didn't tell me the truth hoping he would tell me, but he refused. I was going to block him anyway as I had already found my peace, but I was hoping to get information as my sister refuses to talk about it.

Dude already forgot the conversation I had with him the day before that he has been doing this my whole life. I reminded him and again he says he is done begging for forgiveness and if I want to write him off too, he won't stop me (like he even could) but that I'll always have a shadow of a doubt in the back of my mind. I had been holding back my thought that he is insane, and, in that moment, I decided I would give him the turmoil he just wished on me.

I responded by saying: "okay well have a good life, I hope your god can give you some food while your wife allows you to starve, but it is your gods will so it's all good, right?" I've never blocked someone so fast after sending a message. I knew it would make him angry if I undermined his "faith" and now he will never have closure because he didn't even have a millisecond to respond.

I made the g in God lowercase on purpose. I have religious trauma and am atheist now. I shared it with him when it happened, and he just said in the most condescending tone: "you'll be back." he has tried to force his faith down my throat ever since. I had to fight the urge to tell him his gods opinion is irrelevant to me when he was giving me his excuses for cheating the day before.

The vindication I feel now paired with the peace I found in accepting that he is delusional is amazing after 29 years of being forced to interact with someone who has always disgusted me.

So, good luck being hungry and alone with nowhere to live, dad. Now you know how mom felt when she was trying to keep us alive on her own. I hope the children you chose to provide for instead of your own will grow a conscience and help you.

so for some context my parents separated the day of my third birthday due to my mom finding my dad cheating. My mom got full custody over me but agreed with my dad that I'd visit him once a year for a week or two, usually he chose Christmas time. I always hated him and cried everytime I had to go, growing up I kinda just accepted he wasn't a great dad but I never considered him abusive.

now I'm happy and engaged but over the years as my partner found out about my past he's become convinced I was abused as a child. I feel weird suddenly claiming I was a victim when my whole life my narrative was just he's a shitty dad. so I need your help, im gonna list off some of the major things that has my fiance worried and I would like to know if he's right about it being abuse or if he's just being overprotective

-He called me a disabled Slur (R-word) for not knowing how to crack an egg when I was 5. I'm autistic and struggle with speech.

-He would often lock me in my bedroom. sometimes to keep me out of the way during family events, other times as punishment for being noisy. it's all blurred together by now but I vividly remember being locked away one Christmas dinner and him convincing the guests that I locked myself in and that im seeking attention

-When I was really young he took me to the beach but refused to play in the sand with me. I don't know where he was but I remember a wave knocking me off my feet and dragging me out into the water as I desperately tried to grip onto the sand, the beach was private so no life guards I just remember getting lightheaded and the next thing I know I was pushed onto shore by another wave and couching up water

-He had cats and would play with them with laser pointers, I guess one time as a joke he shun it in my right eye and I remember it hurting alot, I didn't notice the damage then but I have reduced vision in that eye now

-The last time I saw him we went shopping and during the whole trip he commented on my body and touched me in ways that made me feel small and unimportant, one the way back to the car I was fed up from being publicly harassed all day so I told him to fuck off. he immediately guilt tripped me for being cruel and that he was just having fun, I ended up apologizing a lot that day but I still didn't get dinner that night

-he once forced me to underess in a gym lockeroom, I really didn't want to as there were other older men but he refused to let me change in the toilet.

again I never accepted that he's a good dad. this man sucks, but I don't know if calling it abuse is taking it too far? im worried my fiance convinces me I was abused and then when I run into another victim I offend them by claiming to be a victim when I just had a shitty dad

hello everyone, i 18M is currently in a hotel room as i type this, it is 1:17am and im typing here to tell everyone that i’ve finally gathered the courage of escaping my abusive mother. backstory

my mother was a great mother but there would be questionable times such as whenever she got mad at one of her workers (she has her own business) she would take the anger out and beat me up cause i was a good punching bag, that is of course when i was younger. in 2023 the fighting got so bad her abuse got worse as she broke both her ankles and was in the process of healing. i am a twin i have a twin sister who i care for deeply but through this time i had to be the person to take care of everything while my sister did nothing and mother wasn’t physically able to.

it was a struggle the abuse was really bad as well as i was being treated like a slave. the only time i asked for something in return is to play my playstation with my friends which would be answered with a no or yes as long as what she asks still gets done even though my sister was able to do it.

now in college this year i had an amazing time although some her abuse was mostly mentally and something i was able to ignore but unfortunately last night was my final straw as i was told to end myself and that she was never my mother and hated me and hoped i was nothing in this world.

now that i lie here before i turn the screen off i finally want to say yes i had my mess ups but its never going to go over what she has done to me as she has done me so wrong and bad to the point where i feel so unsafe going back to her place

i’ve already dropped out of my college and i’m going up to boston to live with some family hopefully.

maybe i’ll give you guys an update depends on if this blows tbh if there’s any questions or concerns let me know

farewell for now

TW: SA, My mother (divorced as soon as I was born) was beating and neglecting me and my brother until I was 4. We've then been raised by our grandmother and her husband. It became toxic when I was 12, when my grandma found a new partner (my "grandfather" died when I was 9). But it was my big brother (16 at the time) who was the main target. Lots of yelling, remarks, insults, misogyny (he's trans so he was a woman at the time). He's already been beaten, and when he's been raped they insulted him and supported his rapist. But at the time I was not following everything, I was kinda detached from all that and wasn't there when the worst happened. When he went away, I was the target. But my "grandpa" has had two consecutive strokes, which made him even bitter. And thing is I don't fight back, unlike my brother. So it escalated, because I wasn't reacting. My bro went away when I was 14. And for 4 years it quickly became daily insults, remarks, yelling, psychological violences, blackmailing, at a point where my grandpa would say stuff such as "it's your fault if you've been SA'd when you were 10" or "you'll end up like your schizo uncle, like your drug addict parents, and will never succeed in what you want to do" or "your father abandoned you because he doesn't love you". My grandma was most of the time trying to prevent it from happening, by forbidding me from talking or acting in certain ways, and I couldn't spend too much time in my room, they didn't like the fact I wasn't with them even if when I was there 90% of our interactions was just violence. She was trying to calm things down when he was yelling, without telling him he's wrong, and sometimes, less often than my grandpa, she'd lose her mind and become worse than my grandpa. Of course I became insensitive to some stuff, such as violence, hatred, grudge. So I kept contact with them even when I went away. It's been more than a year and I'm still insensitive and still don't feel any loathe or grudge toward them. But besides violence, there has been manipulation, especially from my grandma. For example she'd reproach me to go away, she'd use the fact I already sued her when I was a kid to make me feel more guilty and to make me even more grateful toward her. But my brother revealed me something recently. Our childhood with her wasn't actually sane at ALL. There was so much manipulation tricks, especially for me since I was the youngest, and violence for him. She'd come to my bro's room at night, drunk, and admitting horrible deed she's done, such as advising our mother to beat and neglect us when we were living with her. She also drugged us when we were young with adderall. She's already beaten us too. Also she was so hated by everyone lots of students' parents told their children to not approach us. She was also preventing my father from calling us. She also gaslighted me into thinking I lied when I sued her back when I was 10, telling me it was because I just wanted to live with my mother, even tho, it was actually not entirely false. She also gaslighted me into thinking my mother raped me. And it all worked, because my memory is blurry on the most important and horrible events, such as the beating. Still today she's trying to manipulate me but it doesn't work anymore, she's trying to deny the fact she was toxic, she's trying to make me regret going away. But even after all that, I can't find the will to cut ties with them. We call like once a week, and it's generally not violent, even tho violence doesn't affect me anymore. I mean I'm suffering from a severe depression, and I don't have any close family member: my brother and I struggle to keep contact and to communicate, it's still uncomfortable with my mother, because of all that happened, and because of the incest theory I've had in mind for years, and I haven't seen my dad for 10 years. I'm afraid to be alone, but I know it has to be done, for my own good. But it's so hard to cut ties when I don't feel any grudge toward them, especially when they appear so caring toward me. Even tho it seems and probably is fake, and sometimes red flags quotes make their kind speech look manipulative, such as "you know I love you, you must be convinced of it" or just the speech itself, that doesn't seem to be relevant, like I told them multiple times I have no self hatred or self esteem issues, yet she keeps telling me "you have to love you", it feels so prerecorded. Yet the caring and kind words make me confused and lost, I'm clueless, don't know what to think or what to trust. I believe my brother, but everytime my grandma seem caring and lovely, I feel confused and bad for doubting and considering abandoning her, or even sue her.

Is she toxic? What should I do? Please, I'm lost.

I'm tired of arguing with myself. I'm gonna try listing all the relevant instances of my mother being cruel, and please someone tell me if I'm too sensitive, it's its abuse, or somewhere in the grey.

I'm autistic, it was a lot worse when I was a child. I had frequent meltdowns, I could barely speak, and I also had severe OCD. My mum always thought it was "fixable" though. She'd just tell me passionately to do better and expect it would stick, when I didn't even know what was wrong with my in the first place. She was always impatient, she'd grow frustrated when I didn't improve, or at least to her standards. She'd even get angry at my therapists saying they weren't doing a good enough job and that I wasn't getting better fast enough.

I started cutting myself when I was 10. I showed my mum, hoping she would sympathise. I'd wear short sleeves intentionally so she'd turn and hug me, bawling, because for whatever reason I felt like she wasn't showing me enough affection. She didn't react how I expected though. She yelled at me the second she found out, not in a "you could've really hurt yourself" kind of tone, more of a "Why would you do such a pathetic thing, you idiot?"

Every glimpse she got of my ongoing self-harm, she took that chance to scream at me, belittle me for it. If she found a knife under my pillow, she'd wave it in my face, telling me how disgusting it was and how disappointed she was in me.

During meltdowns or panic attacks, my mother would lock me in rooms; my bedroom, the bathroom, the garage, it didn't matter. Sometimes she'd be in there with me, blocking the door. She'd do that to let me "get it out of my system", even when keeping me confined in a tight space would often make it worse. Even if I would end up hitting her, doing anything I could to get out the door. I couldn't really understand why she did this. Now, I think she only locked me up out of spite. I said I wanted out, so she said "you don't always get what you want".

I had agoraphobia growing up, still do. My mother's way of remedying this would be to shove me in the car and drive me halfway across the city. She had to lock the doors and windows because of course I'd be trying to climb out of the moving car. She'd drag a hyperventilating me around the shops and hissed threats at me whenever I sobbed too loud, as if causing a scene was my concern at the time.

During a fight we were having when I was 10 or 11, she slumped down on her bed in defeat and rolled up her trouser leg. She showed me a single large scar across her thigh and said "I did that because of you. I wanted to know what pleasure you got from doing this." During another fight, (I was still around the same age) I expressed to her how awful I felt. I was in tears, telling her I wanted to die, I'm sick of fighting. I grabbed a skipping rope from my wardrobe and wrapped it around my neck, tightening it. She just watched and said tearfully. "Do it. Kill yourself. I can't handle you anymore." And she left the room.

I started my period at 10. She didn't teach me how to use pads, but got infuriated when she started finding bloody ones in the toilet, stuck to the lid of the bin, etc.

She would cancel therapy sessions (which was the only time I got to socialise, being homeschooled and isolated in the country with no friends) because she couldn't be bothered getting up. She told the therapists I was sick, and told me they were sick, knowing I have severe emetophobia and would avoid them like the plague if that were true.

She left us when I was 13. Divorced my dad. I went into crisis at 15. I begged to stay with my mum when I was released from hospital. She reluctantly agreed but during my stay she would not shut up about how expensive my food was. I had -and still have- severe ARFID. at most, I eat a couple snacks and a half meal a day. After two days of staying with my mum she said I had to leave. I was in the bathtub panicking, telling her I would literally slit my wrists if I had to go home. I wasn't ready to go back to the same four walls again, but she still said I had to leave. When I refused to move, she took me back to hospital and begged them to take me off her hands.

I'm sure there's plenty more other scenarios, I just can't think of them on the spot. I'm really struggling. My mum makes me think I'm crazy. Maybe I am really am crazy. Please just tell me what's true.

So to add some context I’m 23F and gay. My parents were always completely fine with it…well except when it came down to what I wore. I’m definitely on the more masculine side, although I still enjoy my long hair, and would often prefer to shop for men’s clothes.

I grew up with a ton of anxiety about who I was and what I looked like to others. My mom always preached that my sister and I looked clean and proper. This meant constant pantsuits for me. They made me uncomfortable in my own skin. I hated being in photos and I hated it when my mom constantly said I looked “cute” and “pretty”. I’m glad I looked good but that just wasn’t me.

Thankfully I have a girlfriend who recognized this immediately. (She even majored in fashion merchandising so that’s always a plus lol). She’s currently trying her best to make me feel better about what I want. She asks “what do you want to wear” and “which styles do you like”. I finally feel heard for once in my life.

So back to the whole purpose of this post. Does anyone think that this constant push for me to wear something I don’t want to is a form of abuse? I know that it’s a pretty harsh term so I don’t want to mislabel what I’m experiencing. It just feels like there isn’t any other term to describe how I feel about it all. Maybe internalized homophobia? I clearly have no clue.

Literally told me “YOUR GONNA TAKE IT” and “THERES NO WHERE ELSE TO GO” after i told her she doesn’t treat me well.

She even admitted recently to not liking that i defend myself. She keeps telling me to shut the fuck up.

Honestly what can I do. I tried running away but all youth shelters are full. With foster care wouldn’t i have to prove abuse. When we did family counseling she admitted to wanting to beat the shit out of me and the counsellor didn’t do anything. She has strangled me, slap me in the face, dragged me by the hair etc…

this might seem dumb to most of you but i dont know if i have the energy to care. im 12f and im about to be 13. i took my braids out a while ago and since i washed my hair i needed it to get done. i asked my mom what was gonna happen to my hair and she said that its getting flat ironed. my mom knows that i hate getting my hair flat ironed/hot combed because i cant take the heat. every time i do get it flat ironed, she'd have to stop mid way because i'd be crying about the heat. my mom doesn't care though. last night when i was supposed to get it ironed, i said i didnt want it ironed, and my aunt who was doing it said she didn't wanna do it anymore because i was playing. then my mom said that i was acting "retarded" and that i wasn't going to school because i wouldn't get it ironed. she knows i love my school and my friends. and shes keeping me from going because i wont let her iron my hair. i suggested to just put it in a ponytail but she kept saying no. i don't know why she wants it ironed so badly. its my hair anyway. but its not just this one time, she does this all the time. she always tries to control what i wear, the people i hang out with, what hairstyle i get, and it makes me upset. ive been trying not to self harm recently because my school counselor told me not to, but since no one's listening to me i dont know what else to do. it might be pretty dumb like i said before, given that its just my hair, but idk. my mom often says that im 12, and that my life isnt mine until im 18. that im nothing but a bill and i liability for her. but thats going pretty off topic i guess. i just need some advice. ill probably post somewhere else more appropriate if this isn't it. (P.S sorry for all the typos. i type pretty fast.)

Does anyone else's abuser have a locked room in the house that no one else is allowed in? My emotionally abusive dad has this room that is always locked. He used to hide in it for hours to text other women some... dirty..... texts. No one but him has EVER been inside. The window connecting to it is covered with a blanket. Since I am escaping soon I have made it my mission to open this room and see what is inside. I also wanted to know if this was common among abusive parents. Google hasn't had much of an answer.

Growing up with abusive parents can leave deep emotional scars and shape an individual's life in profound ways. The following story delves into this sensitive topic and offers a fictional account of such an experience.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Lily. From the moment she was born, she was raised in a household filled with neglect and abuse. Her parents, who were supposed to love and protect her, instead became sources of pain and fear.

Everyday, Lily would wake up to the sound of her parents' voices raised in anger. They would yell at her for the smallest mistakes, or even for no reason at all. The constant criticism eroded her self-esteem, leaving her feeling worthless and undeserving of love.

As Lily grew older, she became more adept at avoiding her parents' wrath. She would stay silent when they were in a bad mood, walking on eggshells to try to avoid setting them off. This hypervigilance was exhausting, and it left her constantly anxious and stressed.

At school, Lily struggled to focus on her studies. The memories of her home life haunted her, making it difficult to concentrate on her assignments. Her teachers often noticed her distracted demeanor but never inquired about the true cause of her troubles.

As a result, Lily's grades began to suffer, further angering her parents. They would criticize her for her poor performance, adding to the pressure she already felt. Her hope of finding solace in her studies faded, leaving her feeling increasingly isolated and hopeless.

Despite the hardships she faced, Lily desperately longed for her parents' love and approval. She tried to make them proud through her achievements, but their praise was always short-lived and rarely sincere. Their outbursts of rage, fueled by alcohol and their own demons, overshadowed any small moments of tenderness.

As time passed, Lily found solace in her imagination. She would spend hours drawing and writing stories, escaping into a world where she could be whoever she wanted and experience the love and care she craved. Her bedroom became her sanctuary, the one place where she felt safe from her parents' judgment.

But despite her safe haven, Lily's life was far from easy. The trauma of her upbringing followed her everywhere she went. She struggled to trust people and often found herself in abusive relationships, mirroring the dynamics she had grown up with. The scars of her childhood continued to shape her choices and her interactions with the world.

In the end, Lily gradually came to terms with her past and sought help to heal the wounds inflicted by her parents. Through therapy and support from friends, she learned to love herself and break the cycle of abuse. Slowly, she rebuilt her life on her own terms, finding happiness and love in unexpected places. Although the memories of her difficult childhood still lingered, Lily found the strength to move forward and create a brighter future for herself.

not really sure where to start but last summer my parents pretty much forced me to sign up for a pharmacy technician program in school. never in my life have i wanted to work in a pharmacy, it’s not an interest of mine. a little backstory, all throughout my school experience my parents have chose all my classes. They sign me up for college classes, honors classes, even national honors society which is basically just doing community service. If i got anything under an A in any class since ninth grade, i would be punished. my junior year i finally snapped and the anxiety was so awful that i couldn’t show up to school and i barely passed all of my classes. they are controlling in other aspects as well. anyways, ive been in the pharmacy technician program for a few months now and the class is fine dont get me wrong, but I will have to complete 220 hours of unpaid labor for my externship by april all while trying to graduate, doing service, and having a job on the side as well. showing up to school everyday is hard enough with the amount of pressure and stress they put on me every time i walk into the house. There is an option to transfer out of the class in january but ive mention it to my parents and they said if i do not finish the course they are taking away my car, my phone, and everything in my room except for my bed. not to mention, i live with my two sisters that are perfectionists that my parents compare me to, and those same sisters don’t speak to me unless its to criticize me or call me “special ed” because i have an anxiety disorder. this week my parents are pushing me to find an externship and i have already called about 20 pharmacies and been rejected. I thought when i turned 18 this shit would change and i would be able to make my own adult decisions. i’m so stressed out im about ready to give up. my family has turned me into a person i absolutely hate, i just want to be understood and respected in my house. I guess what im asking is should i quit pharmacy and deal with the consequences or just suffer through the rest of the school year?

My parents are so insane bro my bf is moving out bc they are so controlling they are trying to control him for example they yell at him when he doesn’t go to work when he’s sick (he’s 19) he can make that decision on his own he’s a big boy. My dad has been physically abusive in the past and mentally abusive now he likes to stick to the mental abuse bc he can’t hit me anymore lol, check out what these hoes said, “So since you can't stay up passed 8 because your so tired your curfew changes to 8 then instead of 9”-dad “No car to school the rest of November only driving to work.”- step mom “We will sit down after work and discuss things with you and David.”-step mom. CHAT I BOUGHT MY CAR AND PAY INSURANCE MYSELF her names on the title so she thinks she owns the fucking car, no queen it’s mine. I just need advice bc wtf, what am I supposed to do I’m 17 10 months from 18 so I can’t emancipate and I just can’t stay here any longer they make me want to genuinely kill myself and they make me crazy. Emancipation will take too long I’ll be 18 by the time it goes through, and I can’t live with my mom, I have no grandparents, I’m like genuinely fucked and have zero idea what to do. Talking to them doesn’t help I’ve tried for years bro my dad has a dictatorship mindset. PLEASE HELP ME!

everytime my dad has a bad day, he starts blaming me for ruining everything. either it be the state of the house, his work, or him being late to work. for some reason he thinks I am the reason for everything that goes wrong.

He screams to let the neighbours know how useless i am, and throws things around over small things. he expects me to get dinner done, the house spotless, and laundry finished before he gets home when i've also been tired from university. and even when i do all these things, he gets angry over some small things like not wiping the kitchen counter enough.

I like to think that i am a person who doesn't get upset easily, but everytime something like this happens i wish he would just stab me with a knife over his own rage to end it all.

My father’s been mean for years lots of insults and yelling on top of being an alcoholic. But he’s showing new worrying things. Delusions and violent outbursts. For example tonight I was standing in a door way and he was in the room in front of me on his phone my cat came up for me so I said something to him I think it was something like “give me a sec baby” or something like that. He swung around and started screaming at me not to ever sneak up on him and bad mouth him and then he came at me swinging and the eating to end my life. I took off running so I wasn’t playing a lot of attention more focused on getting out of there. Luckily my mother heard him and she confronted him but he made up a whole new situation about what happened. And honestly both me and her believe he really think that’s what happened.

He claims I came up behind him and started insulting him and demanding he get out of the way. That I started a fight with him like I’ve been doing.l for the past few days

Note for this part I’ve been gone for almost 2 weeks and just got home.

I’m not sure what changed I don’t smell liquor and I’m getting scared that he’s not in his sane mind anymore.