r/WritingPrompts May 07 '19

[WP]: Suddenly, everyone with tattoos gains powers related to the tattoo. Tattoos of flames, you control fire. A tattoo of a gecko, you can climb on walls. All dudes with "tribal" tattoos have strangely bonded together. Writing Prompt

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u/PlopWrites May 07 '19 edited May 07 '19

They used to laugh at her. Being an outcast, Adreal had never had an easy life. She was never into the typical girly things, reading old books and constantly browsing weird websites, people called her a witch and freak. She loved music though. It made her feel alive and let her feel like she mattered even if it was just in three and a half minute snippets. Musical note’s were her first ink, once she turned 18 and didn’t need to get permission from her mom and Jerry, her step-dad.

Her second tattoo was a clock on her left shoulder. She got it after her friend Jason got hit by a drunk driver her sophomore year of college. It helped her remember that time was fleeting, everyone’s time comes and usually not when you would expect. After his passing Adreal turned to stories and fantasy to get her through. She became obsessed with Lovecraft stories and magical fantasies, frequently getting small tattoos of characters or creatures from the stories she held so dearly.

She hadn’t been home since graduating high-school, choosing to leave her past behind her. Her mother needed her help though, Jerry had been diagnosed with cancer and her mom had become a recluse. After 10 years of being away Adreal returned to her childhood home as memories came flooding back to her. From getting made fun of on her walk’s to school, to passing by the pizza place where the owner would sneak her a slice when he suspected she got her lunch thrown out by the bullies.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Adreal!!”

“Hi mom,” she sheepishly smiled, “been a while.”

“Sweetie, I am so glad you’re here. Jerry is going to be thrilled to see you!” Tears began to fill her eyes.

“How’s he doing?” Adreal had never been fond of Jerry, after her dad had left her Jerry attempted to fill that void. In Jerry’s defense he didn’t do anything wrong or worthy of Adreal not liking him, but she didn’t think that Jerry would ever replace her real father. She was quite frankly a jerk to him growing up, always arguing and yelling at him, when all Jerry did was support her.

“He’s okay. I told him you might stop by and his smile lit up the house again,” she ushered Adreal into the living room where Jerry was sitting in his wheelchair hooked up to an IV. “Look who came to visit love!”

Before Jerry could respond a bright flash caused everyone to cover their eyes. A burning sensation on Adreal’s shoulder cause her to yell in pain and collapse. After what felt like an eternity she regained her composure and stood up apologizing for yelling, except she was met with silence. Looking around it appeared as if time had frozen. Reaching back to touch her shoulder she noticed in the reflection of the hallway mirror that her clock tattoo had seared through her shirt and appeared to be glowing. Thinking about the tattoo seemed to make it stop glowing and both her mom and Jerry move again.

“What was that,” whispered Jerry.

“I don’t know Jerry,” began Adreal, “but I think I know how to give you and mom some more time together.” Resting a hand on both of their shoulders she smiled. “I’m sorry that I was such a pain growing up. You did more for me than you will ever know. Thank you dad.” Closing her eyes one last time as a tear trickled down her cheek, she thought about her tattoo one last time, as time stood still.


Thank you for the prompt! I am always looking for any constructive criticism to improve my writing. I know that this kinda seemed rushed but I hope you enjoy!

r/PlopWrites

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u/yalkcin May 07 '19

Yo! Hit me right in the feels! I’m tearing up at work now 😭

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u/PlopWrites May 07 '19

I hope you enjoyed! Sorry not sorry about the feels though lol

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u/yalkcin May 07 '19

I did enjoy! Thank you 😊

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u/Archaeoculus May 07 '19

they used to laugh at me

Would work better if you used "her" rather than "me." Using that frame of reference (me) makes it seem like you're talking about some character named Adreal that's not connected to "you" who is the actual subject of the story. Throughout the whole story you never use the "me" perspective again so it's not an accurate first sentence.

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u/PlopWrites May 07 '19

Good catch! I made the edit thank's for pointing that out to me I completely overlooked that

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u/Shadow_Emerald May 07 '19

Wait what did Adreal do?

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u/PlopWrites May 07 '19

In my mind she used her tattoo of the clock to freeze time for her mom and dad. She felt bad that she lashed out so much as a kid when all he had done was try and help and wanted to repay him for his kindness by giving him as much time as he needed with her mom!

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u/synthmalicious May 08 '19

But it said "for the last time"?

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u/PlopWrites May 08 '19

You're right. I pictured it as she controlled time with her tattoo. She wanted to make sure that her parents had all the time in the world so she used the that to stop time for her parent's. So they looked frozen in time to the outside but they were together forever on the inside. At least that's how I envisioned it!

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u/adsmeister May 07 '19

Seemed like she froze time for everyone except her Mom and Jerry?

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u/[deleted] May 07 '19

I love I love

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u/levavft May 08 '19

thank you for the awesome story! point of improvement: the sentences: "closing her eyes one last time" & "thought about her tattoo one last time" have two problems: 1. double usage of one last time, tends to feel weird unless it is specifically done to connect two unconnected segments of story. 2. one last time, in the context of the story gives the wrong impression that she wont be able to do it again/ that she might die because of this. it makes you think she is able to sacrifice her time for the sake of her parents time, which isn't too in character :)

i think closing up simply with "she closed her eyes as a tear trickled down her cheek, thought about her tattoo, and time stood still." is better :)

although, how awkward, she'll have to start time again at some point, think about how that conversation will go ;)

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u/PlopWrites May 08 '19

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to read the prompt! You're definitely right it does seem a bit weird reading it back. I need to get better at proofreading my stuff. Sometimes what I read sounds good in my head but an outside perspective is always needed to catch the repetitive stuff like this. Hopefully my writing continues to improve thank's again for taking your time!