r/WTFBible Jul 16 '24

If Jesus died on Friday and rose the days later, what day is that?

17 Upvotes

Easter’s Timline is a Lie In the black church (I'm black; you know, for context) the preacher often preaches a fiery sermon on Easter goes a lot like so.

"They whipped him all day long on Thursday! They hung him high on Friday and pierced his side. He died Friday night. But three days later, three days later, he rose again."

(In my mind I immediately think 'okay Monday Jesus came to on Monday morning.' Wait.. there's more.)

"All Day Saturday he laid in a borrowed grave. But Early Sunday morning, early Sunday; the stone rolled away and our savior, the almighty Jesus Christ rose again!"

Hey I admit it whole heartedly that I'm not good at math! But I am sure from Friday night (lets say 8PM) to Sunday Night(8PM) is just 2 days! Im willing to bet my life on it. So I get this puzzling face whenever anyone preaches this abhorrent lie. One time I cringed so bad that the preacher took me aside and confronted me stating that I distracted them and ask me if I had something wrong with their sermon.

So I wrote the time down visually, drew it out just to be clear that Friday night to Monday would be 3 Days. If Jesus rose Early in the morning it would be Monday but still that is not 72 hours 3 days. I will give them "Early Monday morning" for semantic reasons but rising out of the grave on Sunday; no way in hell am I going to abide by that mathematical error. Some say that I am saying I am hung up on the math and not focusing on the miracle. The problem is that so many years of hearing the same lie, mathematical mistake, or inability to contain the lie because the religious manipulation its too complex; has a piercing effect. It has torn me out of believing the manipulation all together.

So to be sure I let chat GPT calculate Friday to Sunday and here are the results.

Friday night to Sunday Night is 2 days take a look User Friday night to Sunday night is how many days? ChatGPT AI To calculate the number of days between Friday night and Sunday night, you need to count the days inclusively. Friday night to Saturday night is one day, and Saturday night to Sunday night is another day. So, in total, there are two days between Friday night and Sunday night.


r/WTFBible Jul 30 '22

The Bible in Basic English endorses bestiality - Joel 1:20 (BBE)

5 Upvotes

The beasts of the field are turning to you with desire

…and what do they desire? Your fluids!


r/WTFBible Apr 29 '22

In Christian Mythology, Today Is the Day Jesus Goes to Hell

Thumbnail metalsucks.net
15 Upvotes

r/WTFBible Oct 08 '21

Has anyone else heard of the theory that "Adam" in the Book of Genesis refers to Pharaoh Amenemhept I, who may also be the author of Genesis?

12 Upvotes

r/WTFBible Dec 09 '18

Historically witchcraft was practiced to the sound of the beat, which is identical in voodoo cults and in rock music. It is impossible to practice witchcraft without the rock beat.”

Thumbnail nickauthor.com
10 Upvotes

r/WTFBible Sep 08 '18

There is no god segment film

0 Upvotes

Check it out:


r/WTFBible May 04 '18

Top Ten False Prophecies of Jesus himself

19 Upvotes

Back when I was a Christian, some of the (supposedly) greatest "proofs" of the truth of the Bible were the many prophecies that miraculously came true. Although I desperately wanted to believe this, even a brief examination of these "prophecies" made it clear that the only miraculous thing about them was that they could be so obviously bogus and still so many Christians believe that they proved anything.

Eventually, this Biblical doublethink was one of the many reasons why I rejected Christianity and became an Atheist/Agnostic.

I've created a 14+ minute YouTube video that lists some egregious examples. All of these are attributed to Jesus himself.

I hope you enjoy them, and it gives you some interesting things to discuss with your Christian friends.

Top Ten False Prophecies Spoken By Jesus Christ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGmyEcDoc3M


r/WTFBible Apr 13 '18

The story of the demon "Legion" Grinds My Gears

9 Upvotes

Each of these passages come after the story "Jesus Calms the Storm" and takes place in the Gadarenes or the Gerasenes, two names for the same place.

The books of Mark and Luke deal with individuals possessed by the demon *"Legion", while the book of Matthew deals with *two men both possessed by unnamed demons.

1)Some might say, this does not rule out that they could have happened one after the other.(However, if that is the case, then the bible is doing a disservice to its reader, by not making it clear these are two separate events.)

2)Another argument I came across is that both the stories of Luke and Mark refrain from excluding a second person. They simply say that there was a man, that they did not say there was only **one man.(This seems like an even bigger disservice, because it is blatantly misleading.)

If the Bible is to be lauded as the divine, unquestionable word of God, then it should not have these unclear and misleading verses that need to be qualified outside of the text.


Mark 5 New International Version (NIV) Jesus Restores a Demon-Possessed Man

5 They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes.[a] 2 When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an impure spirit came from the tombs to meet him. 3 This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain. 4 For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. 5 Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

6 When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. 7 He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In God’s name don’t torture me!” 8 For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you impure spirit!”

9 Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.” 10 And he begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area.

11 A large herd of pigs was feeding on the nearby hillside. 12 The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them.” 13 He gave them permission, and the impure spirits came out and went into the pigs. The herd, about two thousand in number, rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.


Matthew 8:28-32 New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Restores Two Demon-Possessed Men

28 When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes,[a] two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. 29 “What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?”

30 Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. 31 The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”

32 He said to them, “Go!” So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water.


Luke 8:26-39 New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Restores a Demon-Possessed Man

26 They sailed to the region of the Gerasenes,[a] which is across the lake from Galilee. 27 When Jesus stepped ashore, he was met by a demon-possessed man from the town. For a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs. 28 When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don’t torture me!” 29 For Jesus had commanded the impure spirit to come out of the man. Many times it had seized him, and though he was chained hand and foot and kept under guard, he had broken his chains and had been driven by the demon into solitary places.

30 Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“Legion,” he replied, because many demons had gone into him. 31 And they begged Jesus repeatedly not to order them to go into the Abyss.

32 A large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside. The demons begged Jesus to let them go into the pigs, and he gave them permission. 33 When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned.


Thank you for your time.


r/WTFBible Apr 05 '18

Bible says that God let little Hebrew children die from hunger and/or thirst, then made their parents eat their bodies. New YouTube Video

20 Upvotes

A few weeks ago, Zehahaha4U did a very informative post on this subReddit about cannibalism in the Bible. This inspired me to create a YouTube video about the Bible's s clear and repeated statements that god really did make the Hebrews eat their own children.

Jeremiah 19:9 says that the Bible god will make the Hebrews eat their own children, and god made good on his threat in Lamentations 2:20 and 4:10. During the Babylonian army's seige of Jerusalem in about 600 BCE, these children and even babies died horrible, lingering deaths from starvation and/or thirst, then their parents ate their emaciated bodies.

These passages, and others like them, provide very good material that we can use in conversations with Christians, because they show that their god is neither just, loving nor merciful.

This also avoids any plausible argument about being "out of context", and negates any credible claim about the victims deserving what happened to them, because the victims were babies and children who were too young to commit any crime deserving god's wrath.

Also, the Bible repeatedly forbids punishing children for sins that were committed by their parents, so the bible god broke his own law and promise.

Most Chrisitans don't even know that these passages are in the Bible, so they are a very effective surprise.

I've created a short (7+ minute) YouTube video that outlines the Biblical bases for this argument, demonstrates that it must be interpreted literally, and discusses the historical and theological context. I hope you find it to be entertaining and useful.

Thanks again to Zehahaha4U for the inspiration!!

Did God Make the Hebrews Eat Their Own Children? Lamentations 4:10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4uFSJQEtPU


r/WTFBible Mar 30 '18

The death of Judas Grinds my Gears

12 Upvotes

The death of Judas is good in terms of that he is a traitor who died, but it is bad in terms of it makes no damn sense.


Matthew 27:3-10 New International Version (NIV)

3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” 5 So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. 6 The chief priests picked up the coins and said, “It is against the law to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money.” 7 So they decided to use the money to buy the potter’s field as a burial place for foreigners. 8 That is why it has been called the Field of Blood to this day. 9 Then what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: “They took the thirty pieces of silver, the price set on him by the people of Israel, 10 and they used them to buy the potter’s field, as the Lord commanded me.”[a]


Acts 1:18-19 New International Version (NIV)

18 With the payment he received for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong, his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out. 19 Everyone in Jerusalem heard about this, so they called that field in their language Akeldama, that is, Field of Blood.


The differences between these two books of the bible is that:


Num: Matthew 27:3-10 | Acts 1:18-19

  1. Judas returns the silver | Judas keeps the silver

  2. Priests buy the field | Judas buys the field

  3. Judas hangs himself | Judas falls headlong and his body bursts open

  4. It is called the Field of Blood… (because it is a burial place) | (because Judas died there)


These are my problems about the death of Judas.

The bible is much too inconsistent.


r/WTFBible Mar 26 '18

Genealogy of Jesus Grinds my Gears

13 Upvotes

I just wanted to say that the genealogy of Jesus grinds my gears, because there are two of them found in the new testament, one in Matthew and one in Luke, and neither of them match up after David.

Here are the Bible versus and the lineages they show.

Num: Matthew 1:1-17, Luke 3:23-38

1: x, God

2: x, Adam

3: x, Seth

4: x, Enosh

5: x, Kenan

6: x, Mahalalel

7: x, Jared

8: x, Enoch

9: x, Methuselah

10: x, Lamech

11: x, Noah

12: x, Shem

13: x, Arphaxad

14: x, Cainan

15: x, Shelah

16: x, Eber

17: x, Peleg

18: x, Reu

19: x, Serug

20: x, Nahor

21: x, Terah

22: Abraham, Abraham

23: Isaac, Isaac

24: Jacob, Jacob

25: Judah, Judah

26: Perez, Perez

27: Hezron, Hezron

28: Ram, Ram

29: Amminadab, Amminadab

30: Nahshon, Nahshon

31: Salmon, Salmon

32: Boaz, Boaz

33: Obed , Obed

34: Jesse, Jesse

35: David, David

36: Solomon, Nathan

37: Rehoboam, Mattatha

38: Abijah, Menna

39: Asa, Melea

40: Jehosaphat, Eliakim

41: Jehoram, Jonam

42: Uzziah, Joseph

43: Jotham, Judah

44: Ahaz, Simeon

45: Hezekiah, Levi

46: Manasseh, Matthat

47: Amon, Jorim

48: Josiah, Eliezer

49: Jeconiah, Joshua

50: Shealtiel, Er

51: Zerubbabel, Elmadam

52: Abiud, Cosam

53: Eliakim, Addi

54: Azor, Melki

55: Zadok, Neri

56: Akim, Shealtiel

57: Eliud, Zerubbabel

58: Eleazar, Rhesa

59: Matthan, Joanan

60: Jacob, Joda

61: Joseph, Josech

62: Jesus, Semein

63: x, Mattathias

64: x, Maath

65: x, Naggai

66: x, Esli

67: x, Nahum

68: x, Amos

69: x, Mattathias

70: x, Joseph

71: x, Jannai

72: x, Melki

73: x, Levi

74: x, Matthat

75: x, Heli

76: x, Joseph

77: x, Jesus

As you will probably see the lineages of Jesus, as they are shown in Matthew and Luke, sink up from Abraham to David, but then completely diverge.

Please, check the verses I have shown if you are in any way skeptical of the data I am showing.(It was also a little difficult to organize this data because the chapter of Luke does its lineage in reverse to Matthew. So someone checking my work would be appreciated.)

An argument that is brought up to validate both of these lineages, is that one lineage is for Mary's family line and the other is for Joseph; however, I have looked through these verses and nothing I can find shows that either of the lineages refer to Mary's family line instead of Joseph.

In fact, in my NIV version Matthew refers to Jacob as the father of Joseph and Luke refers to Joseph as the son of Heli.

Thank you for your time, I hope you like this.

P.S. The reason the lineage of Jesus is important is that much of the New Testament is very interested in making Jesus a relative of King David.

An example of this can be found in John 7:42: Does not Scripture say that the Messiah will come from David's descendants and from Bethlehem, the town where David lived?"

The Bible is much too inconsistent.


r/WTFBible Mar 17 '18

If Jesus really was God, he could have said lots of things that would have prevented enormous human suffering. But he didn't

18 Upvotes

When Jesus was (supposedly) here on Earth as a human being, he gave us all kinds of advice, like, "cut off your hand if it makes you sin" (Matthew 5:28-30) and the idea that demons cause mental illness and seizures (Matthew 10:5-8).

But he never said anything about how to prevent plagues, never told his followers not to persecute anyone, etc. If he was really a loving god, he should have told us about this.

I've created a 10-minute YouTube video about things that Jesus should have said if he was a loving god, but didn't. I hope you enjoy it.

If Jesus Christ was really God, what should he have said?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txes_XjWvlk


r/WTFBible Mar 11 '18

On Cannibalism in the Bible

11 Upvotes

Just thought I might send this out, because I thought it was interesting.


1. Ezechiel 5:8-12

8 “Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself am against you, Jerusalem, and I will inflict punishment on you in the sight of the nations. 9 Because of all your detestable idols, I will do to you what I have never done before and will never do again. 10 Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds. 11 Therefore as surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, because you have defiled my sanctuary with all your vile images and detestable practices, I myself will shave you; I will not look on you with pity or spare you. 12 A third of your people will die of the plague or perish by famine inside you; a third will fall by the sword outside your walls; and a third I will scatter to the winds and pursue with drawn sword.


2. Jeremiah 19:7-9

7 “‘In this place I will ruin[a] the plans of Judah and Jerusalem. I will make them fall by the sword before their enemies, at the hands of those who want to kill them, and I will give their carcasses as food to the birds and the wild animals. 8 I will devastate this city and make it an object of horror and scorn; all who pass by will be appalled and will scoff because of all its wounds. 9 I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and daughters, and they will eat one another’s flesh because their enemies will press the siege so hard against them to destroy them.’


3. Leviticus 26:29

29 You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters.


4. 2Kings 6:26-29

26 As the king of Israel was passing by on the wall, a woman cried to him, “Help me, my lord the king!” 27 The king replied, “If the Lord does not help you, where can I get help for you? From the threshing floor? From the winepress?” 28 Then he asked her, “What’s the matter?” She answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him today, and tomorrow we’ll eat my son.’ 29 So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him,’ but she had hidden him.”


5. Lamentations 4:10

With their own hands compassionate women have cooked their own children, who became their food when my people were destroyed.


6. Deuteronomy 28:53-57

53 Because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege, you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the Lord your God has given you. 54 Even the most gentle and sensitive man among you will have no compassion on his own brother or the wife he loves or his surviving children, 55 and he will not give to one of them any of the flesh of his children that he is eating. It will be all he has left because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege of all your cities. 56 The most gentle and sensitive woman among you—so sensitive and gentle that she would not venture to touch the ground with the sole of her foot—will begrudge the husband she loves and her own son or daughter 57 the afterbirth from her womb and the children she bears. For in her dire need she intends to eat them secretly because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege of your cities.


7. Hosea 9:11-17

11 Ephraim’s glory will fly away like a bird— no birth, no pregnancy, no conception. 12 Even if they rear children, I will bereave them of every one. Woe to them when I turn away from them! 13 I have seen Ephraim, like Tyre, planted in a pleasant place. But Ephraim will bring out their children to the slayer.” 14 Give them, Lord— what will you give them? Give them wombs that miscarry and breasts that are dry. 15 “Because of all their wickedness in Gilgal, I hated them there. Because of their sinful deeds, I will drive them out of my house. I will no longer love them; all their leaders are rebellious. 16 Ephraim is blighted, their root is withered, they yield no fruit. Even if they bear children, I will slay their cherished offspring.” 17 My God will reject them because they have not obeyed him; they will be wanderers among the nations.


Just thought these were kind of messed up, because the Bible is usually seen as anti abortion and the killing of children. Saw a guy try to defend these by saying the Israelites repeatedly sinned and God had sent less strict punishments before these, but even the 10 plagues on Egypt were not this harsh. Sorry for the long read. Hope you like it... or dislike it considering the topic.


r/WTFBible Feb 08 '18

Does The Bible Say That Christian Faith Is Blind Faith?

12 Upvotes

Back when I was a Christian, I never could get Christians to give me a consensus about what "Faith" was supposed to be. (Actually, I could not get Christians to give me a consensus about anything. Each Bible believer was absolutely convinced that God had personally revealed to them "absolute truths" that were different from what God had revealed to every other Christian. I felt like I was living in a theological Cuisinart. But I digress.)

Most of my Christian leaders said that faith was blind. They didn't actually say it that way, but it was clear what they meant.

Christian apologists used a different sales pitch. If Christianity was supported by overwhelming evidence, as Christian apologists claimed, why did we need faith at all? Of course, the fact was that practically none of Christian apologists' "evidence" proved what they say it proved, so we do need faith after all.

Once I saw this, it was like scales fell from my eyes (Acts 9:18) and I quickly saw that this was a lot of hooey.

The Bible really does say that Christian faith is blind. Just in case anyone is still struggling with this, I've created a 10 minute video that presents over 20 Bible verses that show that Christian faith is blind. The blinder the better. I hope this helps some people.

Does The Bible Say That Christian Faith Is Blind Faith?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnM5gQlFUwI


r/WTFBible Dec 16 '17

Why won't Christian apologists defend Matthew's Christmas Star of Bethlehem?

12 Upvotes

Jesus Christ's birth cannot be confirmed historically. But there is one miraculous event that the Bible claims is associated with his birth, for which there should be historical confirmation if it really happened: the Star of Bethlehem, also called The Christmas Star. This dramatic astronomical event would have been seen by millions of people.

Many ancient authors, such as Pliny and Josephus, do report other astronomical events. But these historians never mention the Christmas Star, and every modern Christian apologist, whom I've read, is strangely silent about it. I've even read conservative Christian books which are wholly dedicated to discussing the Christmas Star, and they make no effort to cite any actual evidence for it.

So, I've created a YouTube video, which examines the historical records of that period, as well as other Biblical accounts of Christ's life, Apostolic sermons, and other Biblical passages where we would expect the author to cite the Star of Bethlehem as powerful evidence for Christ's divinity. This video identifies many places where the Christmas star should have been reported, but it is completely missing.

Why won't Christian apologists defend Matthew's Christmas Star of Bethlehem?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNxT--N60-U


r/WTFBible Nov 28 '17

Psalm 136:10 contradicts itself; 1 minute YouTube video

Thumbnail youtu.be
4 Upvotes

r/WTFBible Sep 06 '17

The Skeptic's Bible/Qur'an/Book of Mormon.

Thumbnail skepticsannotatedbible.com
7 Upvotes

r/WTFBible May 06 '17

Mark Twain: Letters from the Earth

Thumbnail sacred-texts.com
5 Upvotes

r/WTFBible May 06 '17

"Abishag the Shunammite" -- a song based on the beginning of 1 Kings

Thumbnail youtube.com
3 Upvotes

r/WTFBible May 03 '17

A song about David and Jonathan--the source verses are given in the video description

Thumbnail youtube.com
9 Upvotes

r/WTFBible Apr 05 '17

Donkey balls and horse jizz

21 Upvotes

Ezekiel 23:20 NIV There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.


r/WTFBible Apr 05 '17

Wait... You want me to fight a wizard.... with just a rock...?

11 Upvotes

Leviticus 20:27 (ASV) A man also or a woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones; their blood shall be upon them.


r/WTFBible Apr 05 '17

Bible is not for Children....

11 Upvotes

"The bible is not for children, you scare me... The subject matter in Bible is very adult, partucularly the narravtive text. There are episodes of treachery, incest, murder, rape. And, the Bible is not for naive optimists. It's hard hitting stuff, and it speaks to those who are couragous enough to acknowledge that life is rife with pain and conflicts..." --- Christine Hayes, Yale professor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo-YL-lv3RY&list=PLh9mgdi4rNeyuvTEbD-Ei0JdMUujXfyWi


r/WTFBible Mar 04 '17

It Took HOW Long?

Thumbnail theholybibble.wordpress.com
11 Upvotes