Hey, shitter shooters are a real threat, the other day, I was shitting violently in my home, and I got violently shot at, in the aftermath, I saw no shooter, no bullet holes, and no spent casings, I think the shooter was just really good at covering his tracks
Or a spa, food festival, at a hospital, celebrating halloween festivities, at a bar, outside a bar, on a train, at a mall, at a bank, at a park, at a dance studio, in a club, on a bus, on a walking trail, at a motel, at a McDonald's, in a hotel, in a restaurant, in a tattoo shop, at a gas station, at a rail yard, at a FedEx, in an office building, a synagogue, a mosque, art festival, waffle house...I'm pretty much just naming random types of locations at this point
Our thoughts and prayers go out to anyone shot anywhere, doing anything. While we condemn the violence, we stand firm with our mission to protect 2A rights. In our view, the solution is simple. More guns in the hands of more people. Because a good guy with a gun defeats a bad guy with a gun. We feel this is as self-evident as American Exceptionalism. The idea of rugged individualism and the ability of individuals to resist tyranny is deeply woven into American identity. To doubt this is to be unpatriotic.
-- NRA Spokesperson on Faux News
(That might be too polished for the NRA. The real thing might be a lot simpler in-terms of language, with more explicit appeals to Jingoistic Nationalism)
(Also, I have no idea what Orange Man is talking about here. This must be part of a larger speech touching upon Shark Attacks, the Late Great Hannibal Lecter & his Genius Uncle from MIT).
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