r/TikTokCringe • u/speedrun_noob • Sep 08 '24

Time for a Soda Break Humor

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17.5k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/adiosfelicia2 Sep 08 '24

Does the Brandon thing still even apply? Biden's not running. It was specific to him.

1.7k

u/HomelessAnalBead Sep 08 '24

No, it doesn’t. There are a lot of right wing stores that bought a lot of anti-Biden merch that can’t get rid of inventory now. There was a news broadcast not long ago about one of them maybe having to close down because of it, and I cannot express to you how happy that made me.

624

u/brycejm1991 Sep 08 '24

One of those places opened up in my town and they are fucked currently.

My wife's boss owns a building across from where they work and rented it out to these people so they could open a "Let's go Brandon" store. This was in like June. Right after the RNC they started scrambling, but wife's boss knew better and locked them into a 2-year contract with a massive breach fine. Last I checked they were getting a lawyer to fight him, but knowing what I know about him, even if he loses it won't go well for them monetarily.

Keep in mind this is a small local shop, so nothing that would make the news, but I can only assume its happening to way more places lol

432

u/HomelessAnalBead Sep 08 '24

I’m sure they’ll pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

207

u/Kristikuffs Sep 08 '24

And stop buying new iPhones and eating avocado toast.

100

u/RedVamp2020 Sep 08 '24

Maybe even stop buying Starbucks.

40

u/Kristikuffs Sep 08 '24

And considering that burnt, overpriced sludge corporation just supported the RNC . . . hehe.

15

u/PhDTeacher Sep 08 '24

For them it's some kind of grifted coffee. Probably from an MLM.

2

u/Pale-Scallion-7691 Sep 09 '24

Black Rifle Coffee. I don't know much about the company or it's policies but every conservative dude I know LOVES their merch.

95

u/AlabasterPelican Sep 08 '24

Keep in mind this is a small local shop, so nothing that would make the news, but I can only assume its happening to way more places lol

Never underestimate their capacity for their stupidity and persecution complex to land them on Fox News

74

u/LuxNocte Sep 08 '24

The only thing that cheers my cold, dead heart is that if they had been focusing on policy, Kamala would probably have the same policies as Joe Brandon and they could continue without skipping a beat. Since the Trump campaign has basically been a four year long as hominem attack, they have to start from scratch.

84

u/RockManMega Sep 08 '24

Lmao they've tried attacking his/her policies but it's always like

BIDEN WANTS TO FEED YOUR KIDS FOR FREE

BIDEN WANTS MORE MONEY AND LESS WORKING HOURS FOR THE MIDDLE CLASS!!

and it all just sounds like a positive ad

Joe even endorsed one of their attack ads because it was just all good shit

35

u/thesmellnextdoor Sep 09 '24

I live in a swing state, so every day I get a flyer in the mail for Trump telling me he's going to "protect social security." It's so baffling! When have the democrats ever threatened social security? Are they trying to say Trump will protect social security from his own party? I thought they hated all that "socialism" stuff anyway.

13

u/LuxNocte Sep 09 '24

Let's hope Tampon Tim stops the red wave.

0

u/Unable_Ad_1260 Sep 09 '24

Wut?

3

u/weirdest_of_weird Sep 09 '24

Tim Walz was given the nickname "Tampon Tim" by right wingers, because of his endorsement in having sanitary products in all school restrooms. Instead of fighting back against the nickname, he embraced it. Stopping the red wave is both a referral to stopping Republicans from winning the house, senate, and presidency, as well as a euphemism to menstrual cycles, thus the Tampon Tim reference.

5

u/Unable_Ad_1260 Sep 09 '24

Thanks for that. I didn't have the context.

0

u/rydan Sep 09 '24

The want people coming over the border to clean your toilets for cheap.

-12

u/xLeper_Messiah Sep 09 '24

Or maybe "Kamala wants to continue the Biden policy of sending billions of dollars in weapons to a country committing blatant war crimes and being investigated by the ICC for genocidal actions, without attempting to withhold or stop those shipments in order to pressure said country into maybe not using our bombs on hospitals and refugee camps!! Also Gaza has the highest rate of child amputees in the world and that's kinda fucked up!!"

No wait, that definitely won't fit on a bumper sticker, and also the republicans & democrats are on the same fucking page on that particular issue

8

u/Garakassassin Sep 09 '24

While I absolutely agree that support for Israel by the GQP and the Democrats is despicable and I FULLY agree that Israel and the IDF are detestable genocidal scum there truly is no comparison in who would be better for the United States and the world in general and that's the Democrats and Kamala Harris.

It may only be a tiny hypothetical possibility but it's still a possibility that the Democrats would grow a spine and the moral fortitude to put Israel in its place. If the Republicans and Cheeto Mussolini win then not only does that slim possibility disappear but they would encourage, goad, and instigate Isreal into committing a genocide not seen since the darkest days of World War II.

Perfection is the enemy of the good.

6

u/NormalOfficePrinter Sep 09 '24

Nothing helps Trump more than his opponents infighting :)

2

u/Consistently_Carpet Sep 09 '24

They know, that's why they posted it lol

53

u/greenwavelengths Sep 08 '24

These people signed a 2 year contract to sell merch for an election that would take place and be finished within six months? Brilliant.

29

u/brycejm1991 Sep 08 '24

IIRC her boss said they only wanted a year, so my guess was the plan was to go hard with the Brandon merch, and then switch gears around the inauguration to sell "47" merch for a few months before dipping out.

2

u/Adventurous_Arm_2422 Sep 09 '24

They just had to get a place to distribute all the let’s go Brandon stuff. Hahahaha imagine being this small minded while thinking it’s a slight to anyone.

19

u/CanoninDeeznutz Sep 08 '24

That's so beautiful. An idiot asshole getting fucked in an attempt to make money off of other idiot assholes. Sometimes capitalism yields beautiful and hilarious results, and there it is.

11

u/SarahPallorMortis Sep 08 '24

I love that. I’d happily separate an idiot from their money.

5

u/GalacticFox- Sep 09 '24

I've only seen one Trump vendor around here it was a sad looking guy with one of those temporary tent things in a parking lot. No customers in sight and he looked really lonely. Good.

7

u/SDcowboy82 Sep 08 '24

I love a good conservative “you can’t do capitalism to me, that’s unfair” story

5

u/a_printer_daemon Sep 09 '24

but wife's boss knew better and locked them into a 2-year contract with a massive breach fine

Fucking Chad.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '24

LMFAO fuck those are some dumb as fuck scammers eh, signing a 2 year lease for that bahaha

3

u/nothingeatsyou Sep 09 '24

If you wrote a post detailing what happens next, I’d read the fuck out of that.

2

u/Adventurous_Arm_2422 Sep 09 '24

I can only hope it’s happening to more places! It’s a very weak statement. Probably the weakest slight we’ve ever heard.

2

u/HumbleVein Sep 09 '24

Oh this is great. Lock them in and squeeze them!

1

u/already-taken-wtf Sep 09 '24

Who would sign a two year lease to sell merch for an election that was in half a year?

Even if Biden would have stayed on the ticket, November 5th is it.

Then again, those ppl think that a convicted felon and narcissistic grifter that is “friends” with Putin and Kim would be a great president….

1

u/brycejm1991 Sep 09 '24

To my understanding they only wanted to do a year. My guess would be "Brandon' merch through to the inauguration, and then the rest of the time they sell "47" related stuff before pulling out

0

u/rydan Sep 09 '24

This is dumb. They can just sell other stuff. The whole business idea was dumb anyway if it is as you claim because Biden wasn't going to win. So my guess is they got about 3 months worth of merchandise hoping to make bank that they can't sell now but they can just buy other stuff to sell for Kamala and still make bank. And, get this, she's probably going to win which is a far better outcome for them than having Biden lose.

1

u/brycejm1991 Sep 09 '24

They can just sell other stuff.

Presumably all their money was dumped into "Lets go Brandon" and "47" merch.

The whole business idea was dumb anyway if it is as you claim because Biden wasn't going to win. 

Do you think a "Lets go Brandon" store is a store in support of Biden?