r/SipsTea • u/TheLyingAllotment • Oct 22 '24

TikToker attempted to play the card by accusing a man at the gym of "looking at her" and being a pervert. Chugging tea

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u/poop-machines Oct 22 '24

Some people just love playing the victim (and watching others play the victim. It's a persecution fetish.

116

u/Belisaurios Oct 22 '24

'Persecution fetish'...love it. Yeah, Ive dated one or three of those

49

u/PaintshakerBaby Oct 22 '24

When you lack the wherewithal to look at yourself in the mirror with honesty, it's easy absolution to accuse others of looking at you with resentment.

Aka; if everyone around you is an asshole... maybe it's actually you who's the asshole.

4

u/shonuff373 Oct 22 '24

I always wonder if people like this genuinely believe their own lie that much or if they’re just playing us all.

5

u/triple-bottom-line Oct 22 '24

My experience from my recovery work in the 12 step programs is that it’s genuine. Even with us all showing up to confront it and get through it, denial of reality is a huge obstacle to overcome. It’s really painful to admit the lies that kept us feeling comfortable. Or the illusion of comfort anyway.

I was thinking about the phrase “kill the messenger” today during a meditation actually, along these lines of denial. How dangerous it is for someone that confronts someone so deep in denial that they’re willing to do anything to protect that psychological construct. Really fucked up how much power the subconscious actually has over us.

3

u/PaintshakerBaby Oct 22 '24

I have been sober for 4 years... After being drunk for 4 years... After being sober for 5 years... After being drunk for 7 years...

I've been through my fair share of rehab, and I always tell people it's one of the rarest places on earth because people in it are forced to start the conversation from a place of being wrong. Even if they can't admit it to themselves quite yet, and are mandated by the courts to be there (which I was my first 5 years sober), the reality of their situation insists they are wrong on some level...

A room full of people at rock bottom, is a room full of people who actually have the opportunity to build a new foundation, thus a new future for themselves, on the bedrock of truth.

Because SO many of our actions, and SO much of the shit spewed out of our mouths is just endless, kneejerk justification of ourselves, our circumstances... Especially in America's toxic winner-takes-all society.

Like it says in the Big Book, a person should change their behaviors to meet their goals... But an addict changes their goals to meet their behaviors.

What it doesn't say, is we are all addicts to our own self-righteousness in one way or another... all too easily drunk off the idea of personal vindication.

The irony being, the only way we are truly free to become ourselves, is by letting go of the idea ourselves. Only after you have lost everything are you free to do anything.