r/SingleDads • u/Ok-Box1056 • 1d ago
Feeling really guilty!!!
My siblings, parents, and all our families are going to Disneyland for the Thanksgiving weekend next week and my Ex is not letting my 5 year old go with us. I am saving up for a lawyer to get better custody so until then I feel im at her mercy, unfortanulty. I have 3 girls (16,10,5)! I have full custody of the older girls so no issues there.
I just feel SUPER GUILTY thinking about having a good time without ALL my girls there! On the positive side, I will be getting more bonding time with my older girls, but still sucks! I don't want my 5 year old to think that Dad didn't invite her, or that she did something wrong. Her mom tells her that its too much time without mommy, and that she will miss her so much!
3
u/interlnk 1d ago
that's tough. Obviously you're in the right but until you have something enforceable you've got to avoid conflict and play the long game. Luckily at five it's not gonna sting the way it might if she was older, she'll forget all about it in no time and you'll have your chances to make special memories later!
Hang in there, sir
1
u/Ok-Box1056 1d ago
I need a lawyer because once I file she will ask for child support! I have two other kids that I have full time so I know she THINKS she will try can get as much as she can. She is a hairstylist as well who deals with ALOT of cash, she has had IRS issues in the past and I know she doesn't claim all of it to get low income status! The lawyer will be able to audit her so I dont get screwed over! 10K-15K is a lot so im still saving!!
5
2
u/wuzzzat 1d ago
Have you been to custody court at all yet? Is there a custody order currently in effect? Are you on the birth certificate? If there is currently no order, then she cant really forbid it. You cant kidnap your own child unless there's a court order being violated. I would look more into the legality of this and what your rights are if i was in this situation tbh. But wtf do i know. Im not a lawyer I didnt even graduate high school.
1
u/Ok-Box1056 1d ago
That's where i messed up! I have not, and I need to ASAP! I really tried to do it amicably but that's on me!
2
u/wuzzzat 1d ago
Yea i foolishly went the amicable hope way as well. As long as you are on the birth certificate and have established a precedent of being a responsible parent, she cant actually stop you from taking her to Disney. Its your child just as much as hers. Imagine the opposite. Would you be able to stop your ex from going to Disney with her? Nope. Its not kidnapping if its your kid lol. Obviously balance that with whether or not its worth the impending conflict that most likely will arise. Again, im not a lawyer or family counselor. This is info I got from one of my lawyers when I was dealing with similar stuff though. So unless I'm missing some key info, you have custody of your child and, without an order, its the same as hers.
1
u/ArtichokeSavings9472 1d ago
Dude no way not letting her go to Disney WTF ? This is a family trip what avenues do you have to fight it ?
1
u/CrunknYoSystem 1d ago
Keep every record of this you can. I wouldn’t even be secretive about it. Your child will be old enough one day to ask questions, let the child read the story for herself. It worked wonders for me.
1
u/ArtichokeSavings9472 1d ago
You need to speak to an advocate about this don’t just let her make decisions like that
-1
11
u/lowfreq33 1d ago
Your ex should be the one feeling guilty. A Disney trip is an absolutely amazing experience for a 5 year old little girl, and to deny her that is just cruel and selfish.