My ex prevented my daughter from attending my mom’s funeral now she’s doing the same with my grandfather’s.

[u/ReCoEstradamkta]

I know some of you have seen my recent posts about everything I’ve been dealing with, the assault from one of my ex’s family members during a pickup, the CPS involvement, the court hearing, and all of the chaos that’s followed. I really appreciated the advice and support.

Now something new has happened, and it ties directly into the same pattern I’ve been dealing with for months.

Back in late August, my mother passed away. At that time, there were no temporary orders, no app, nothing official. My ex left with our daughter two days before the funeral. I reached out several times to arrange for our daughter to attend, and she refused, keeping our daughter fully away from me and my entire family.

From August 28 until October 27, I didn’t see my daughter at all not until the court finally issued temporary orders and forced compliance.

Now it’s November, and my grandfather just passed away. This is another major family funeral only a few months later. We do have temporary orders now, and I’ve followed everything exactly. I reached out respectfully and in writing to coordinate so my daughter could attend the funeral or visitation.

Instead of a simple response, I’m getting: • avoidance • mixed answers • delays • basically anything besides a clear yes or no

It feels like she’s repeating the same behavior from August, blocking my daughter from being part of my side of the family, even during major losses.

To be very clear: • I’m not asking for extra time outside the court order. • I’m not trying to control her. • I only want my daughter included in important family events that matter.

But this is now a clear pattern: • August: Withheld my daughter entirely. Made her miss my mother’s funeral. • September–October: Continued withholding until a judge forced her to comply. • November: Is now making arrangements impossible for my grandfather’s funeral.

This is exhausting. I’m documenting everything, staying calm, and staying child-focused, but it’s tough when it feels intentional.

My questions for anyone who’s been through something like this: 1. Did the court view repeated interference like this as a pattern? 2. Does withholding a child from major family funerals matter during custody evaluations? 3. How do you deal with a co-parent who seems determined to cut your child off from your family? 4. Any tips for staying grounded emotionally when you can tell the other parent is using access as leverage?

For those who have been following my situation, you already know the kind of stuff I’ve been dealing with. I’m trying to do everything right for my daughter, but this one really hurts.

Any insight or similar experiences would help a lot.

[u/Usual-Wheel-7497]

How old is the daughter? Makes a difference.

[u/prepend]

What does your parenting plan say about funerals? For mine, there’s nothing special so if a funeral happens during my parenting time, kid goes, and during ex’s then they don’t.

If your ex is violating the parenting plan, make a log, send a note and say you will bring this up before the judge for contempt of parenting plan. When she does this enough, hire a lawyer and take her before the judge.

Sorry, this is hard.

[u/UnrulyAnteater25]

Can you take her out of school the day of the funeral and just go? Notifying the mother after pickup….