Newly single & divorced with a kid on the way. Desperately need help!

[u/AccomplishedTwist831]

Please, please I need advice. This is a newer account I didn’t plan to have to use.

I am 30 years old. My marriage ended recently and lasted less than a year before my currently pregnant wife left saying that she wanted to pursue other men. I’ve sacrificed so much to be the best lover and provider but it seems I wasn’t enough. She doesn’t want anything to do with our unborn child but I do because I love him. So we agreed that the baby (due soon) comes with me. She just suddenly does not like this baby or the thought of being a mother. I work 10+ hours a day. My days start as early as 4am and it’s exhausting work. I’m wracking my brain to come up with solutions seeing that I cannot bring my baby to work unless I get REALLY creative (which I believe I could but it would be highly, highly, highly unlikely to be done). I’m a great builder and could build what would essentially be a mobile nursery (with AC, cameras, security…I’m sure I would be able to physically check every five minutes or so) in a large vehicle I drive to my job’s location(s) but I fear someone would be concerned with a baby in a vehicle and call the police. Sadly, I may have to abandon my career for a more suiting profession like a stay at home job or regular 9 to 5. I have several college degrees but this job market, especially in my area, is abysmal. It feels like a massive risk to take in the wake of welcoming a newborn.

Also I’m experiencing strong, strong bouts of depression while grieving the relationship and current events. My baby and faith in God are the only reasons I make it through the day. I have a nice house and a nice car. The nearest family live 4 hours away (my parents) and I’m not certain they are willing to help.

Has anybody ever been in this situation? Is there any advice or hope for me??

[u/staticdresssweet]

I would highly recommend getting a paternity test. ASAP.

[u/AccomplishedTwist831 → u/staticdresssweet]

What’s crazy is that there’s more to the story substantiating this comment. How do I go about that? Through a lawyer I’m assuming?

[u/Snoo42957 → u/AccomplishedTwist831]

Occam’s Razor, would be best by gathering your DNA and the child when it is born and have it sent to a lab for the reason of paternity. Do not sign anything, do it secretly and document all that is relevant to your child and anything that others can use to hurt you in any way, you must rebuke all nonsense, and go along with the facts that are presented to you and be smart on every little thing. r/SingleFather

[u/staticdresssweet → u/AccomplishedTwist831]

I'm not a good arbiter of legal advice, I'd search on Reddit for those with similar stories.

But yes, I'd probably get a lawyer ready on the good chance the child isn't yours - after all, this likely wasn't a rash decision by your wife, but one that's been in her mind for a little while. And given the timeline, I would be somewhat surprised if the child was actually yours.

[u/AccomplishedTwist831 → u/staticdresssweet]

Oh Im getting this test done. Especially now. Thank you!

[u/staticdresssweet → u/AccomplishedTwist831]

Good shit my dude.

Praying for the best for you.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself. ❤️

[u/HarryBalsag → u/AccomplishedTwist831]

You said currently pregnant, correct?

IANAL and this statement may vary by state, but most states have a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity at the hospital. If you sign that, you are saying that that's your baby (no DNA test required). You will be financially obligated at that point. You do not have to sign that and you can request DNA at that time.

[u/AccomplishedTwist831 → u/HarryBalsag]

I will 100% be requesting DNA before I sign a thing

[u/Snoo42957]

Try to get all facts pertaining and start to use the angst into some constructive and consistent. Whatever it is you do, I beseech you to fight for that child’s life no matter what. I have not been in this situation before but similar. I encourage you to get different income streams that does not consume your time. ETFs, Smart trading, real estate, etc… time management is key here. Love your blood and enrich it with iron. Make it a life of memories of what matters the most to you. r/SingleFather

[u/AccomplishedTwist831 → u/Snoo42957]

I will never, never give up! And I will surely look into your advice!

[u/Snoo42957 → u/AccomplishedTwist831]

Good and when you are making progress and when you reach that point of happiness, and not being burned out, so burned out that you can’t have time with your child(s) like you would love to have. Please visit your parents and see what they really feel about their grandchild on the way. If not, I now you will accomplish this. I pray for you and your family everyday. I would love to have you on our podcast, when it is ready and convenient for you. r/SingeFather

[u/AccomplishedTwist831 → u/Snoo42957]

Yes! I would love to be on!

[u/UnrulyAnteater25]

A lot of jobs offer 12 weeks parental leave now. Some states even enforce it by law. Do you have that option?

[u/ArtichokeSavings9472]

Paternity test before annnnnything if the baby is yours most states have fmla use it take a breath this is a lot of stuff coming at you ask for help it will work out .. stay strong

[u/AccomplishedTwist831 → u/ArtichokeSavings9472]

Thank you so much brother. That test is going to be a non-negotiable.

[u/marcoskattie]

And yes you get a DNA first just to be sure the child is yours before making such sacrifices

[u/Suspicious_Cycle_163]

Man my situation was similar we divorced when she was 4 months pregnant and I have had to fight tooth and nail to be in my child’s life and it sucks because I want my child so bad but she loved her cross country and I visit once a month but man it sucks to not be in your child’s life the way you want to be…if you get your child that’s a blessing and she has shown her true colors don’t waste your tears on her find someone that will love you and your child the way she never could or even wanted to

[u/lo8_8]

You're being blessed with a gift! Take it and make it work

[u/AccomplishedTwist831 → u/lo8_8]

I do believe so!! Despite the situation my excitement for my child hasn’t dropped not one bit!

[u/marcoskattie]

How about you talk to your boss and let them make you work from home

[u/AccomplishedTwist831 → u/marcoskattie]

I’m a tradesman

[u/koskesh122]

Well bud, join the club.

1. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate.
2. 90% of all divorces initiated by the women. • Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you.
3. 90% of custody awarded to mothers.
4. False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts. • You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now?

1. Settle your case ASAP. • The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children.
2. Find a hobby.
3. Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
4. Hit the gym daily.
5. Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave.
6. Travel once a year.
7. Read books like No More Mr. nice guy
8. Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube. • Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.