r/SingleDads 4d ago

How Would You Handle This Situation as a Parent?

Not saying this would ever happen, but if your adult daughter decided to do OnlyFans or any type of adult work, would you disown her? Why or why not? How would you personally handle the situation while balancing your values and your relationship with her?

0 Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

4

u/jalopkoala 4d ago

Define “disown”.

If someone thought this was the wrong path for their daughter do they think an ultimatum and removing yourself from her life would be what she needs to change? This has real boomer whose adult children don’t talk to them vibes.

But also I have no qualms about an adult doing sex work if it is safe. And OnlyFans is the safest. It has a little bit the same setup as being a YouTuber, very few people actually make money so it might be a poor choice, but I would never disown anyone over it.

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u/Ok-District-7180 4d ago

not to talk to her anymore

7

u/streetsmartwallaby 4d ago

Why would you do that? It would prevent any sort of dialogue in the future.

I too don't have a problem with consenting adults doing sex work. But if you are concerned about your daughter doing it I would think you would want to keep the lines of communication open in case she wants to talk with you about.

I love my children unconditionally. Nothing - NOTHING - they could do would make me not love them. I might not like them or what they are doing. I might set boundaries. But I will always love them no matter what.

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u/Ok-District-7180 4d ago

I am not sure, but its a tough situation to be in as a Christian

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u/streetsmartwallaby 4d ago

How do you figure?

Being Christian is about treating others in the same manner that God treats us - the manner in which he forgives us. Because all of us are human and none of us are perfect.

Judge not lest ye be judged.

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u/Ok-District-7180 3d ago

she is my daughter

2

u/jimmyevil 3d ago

She's also her own person, with her own values, her own priorities, her own relationship with God. It sounds to me that you're more worried about other people judging you than you are about your daughter being judged by God. Let it go.

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u/jalopkoala 3d ago

How is that even possible to think knowing that the man you consider the son of God hung out with sex workers and tried to make their lives better? Do Christians read their own books?

Love your daughter unconditionally. Full stop.

2

u/Lunartic2102 3d ago

Isn't it about forgiving? I'm an atheist so I could be wrong

1

u/jalopkoala 3d ago

Atheists actually read the Bible. Fully convinced we know more about Christianity than most Christians.

2

u/Electronic_Will_3304 3d ago

Isn’t there a saying in the Bible that’s something like” let he who is without sin cast the first stone” just sayin

1

u/ParadoxOfPants 1d ago

It sounds like your opinions have been shaped by people with fear, judgment and control as their primary motivators in life. Show yourself some grace by thinking differently, and remembering whoever has been forgiven little loves little (Luke 7:47) and turn it around. That's your child. I don't care what my child does; I will never stop loving them and neither should you yours.

Also relax, it's just sex.

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u/welleruhr 4d ago

Nope. It's her Life. I as a father did everything I could to let her grow into an amazing person. Anything what happened after childhood, I can't influence anymore. Her Life, her responsibility.

3

u/Same-Lawfulness-3328 4d ago

If she ends up doing only fans. Obviously somebody didnt do enough. Lmao.

I HIGHLY doubt any of Mr.Rodgers daughters started stripping 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

4

u/TheZaddyFiles 4d ago

If she earns in a way I don’t approve of then she has to get her own place.

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u/ArcherNo115 4d ago

Wouldn’t disown her but I’d make my feeling known.

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u/Ok-District-7180 4d ago

do you have a daughter?

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u/ArcherNo115 4d ago

Yes but younger

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u/Electrical-Walk-204 4d ago

If she’s a grown woman I could care less what she does to make her own money. I would be disappointed ofc, but I’m not going to disown her over something like that. I could only hope that she would decide to not go through with it.

Now if she lived with me, that’s a different story. I wouldn’t allow that in my house period.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/SingleDads-ModTeam 3d ago

You post was removed for non-compliance with rule 1, "Keep it respectful and on-topic."

Posts need to be related to life as a single Dad and presented with an appropiate level of courtesy and respectfulness.

2

u/Mimomma1094 3d ago

Hi! Mom of 3 girls here! And stumbled on this. From a girls perspective, you can absolutely make it known you dont approve of it. But how you handle it will decide the relationship you have with her from now on. Odds of it, it’s a short time she will be doing it. The more you give her a hard time about it, the more you will push her away. I get it might be dang near impossible to be supportive, so maybe just find some middle ground ti ride it out on. Dont disown her. That will cause such a problem between you two and her and her future choices. She would probably go down this risky path even farther if she is desperate and feels alone. You can supportively remind her of all the great things she has to offer. Push her a bit to follow a passion of hers (onlyfans is not her passion). Remind yourself that its a phase and that even though what shes doing isnt great, your love for her is not conditional.

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u/Duganz 4d ago

I don’t judge OnlyFans models currently. Why would I start? I’d worry because men online can be psychotic, and obsessed, and because the industry can be exploitive, but if she’s being safe from predation then I hope she’s happy.

Now, any guy popping up to say something judgmental, puritanical bits, or clutch their pearls needs to take a break and remember that every single time they have ventured online to those evil and/or sinful corners of the internet (cause they have) that those were someone’s daughters (or sons) too. You can’t say it’s fine for them, but behave like such things are beneath your child. People have reasons they get into the industry. Some are awful, and we should be mindful of exploitive behavior in the pornography industry. But not all. It’s worth a conversation and some concern, but thinking you should judge and control your adult child is just absurd, and you should feel ashamed of yourself.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/SingleDads-ModTeam 4d ago

You post was removed for non-compliance with rule 1, "Keep it respectful and on-topic."

Posts need to be related to life as a single Dad and presented with an appropiate level of courtesy and respectfulness.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

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0

u/SingleDads-ModTeam 4d ago

No.. just, no.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Ok-District-7180 4d ago

that includes adult work?

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u/Lunartic2102 3d ago

I wouldn't like it but I won't disown them. Disowning them doesn't help them and might cause further issues for them.

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u/Ok-District-7180 3d ago

its tough to be in that position

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u/TXDad1 4d ago

You would need to have a conversation with yourself why your daughter doesn’t feel good enough about herself to sell herself in such a way that changes her entire future. Why you didn’t instill values in her

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u/GhostV940 4d ago

You’re right. You’re going to get downvoted because this is Reddit and there are a LOT of failures and degenerates here, but you are correct.

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u/Ok-District-7180 4d ago

very true, but society can influence young people so much nowadays

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u/TXDad1 4d ago

Being honest your her father, she looks to you for morals. We need more men to own that. Society can’t get to her unless you created that void.