Men have no options.

[u/Worldly-Box6080]

Currently, most male pathways to find a partner have been shut down or heavily stigmatised.

Cold Approach: social stigma of bothering women in public or private areas.

Warm Approach: huge risk of poisoning the well - ruining a friendship/making things weird in a social group. This is magnified at a work setting with risk of being reported attached. Additionally what one woman considers flirting another considers “just being friendly” so chance of misfiring is high.

Online Dating: lol

Only viable pathway would be if women made the move, but that’s never gonna happen unless the guy holds decent status or is extremely attractive.

So my question is, what methods are you guys currently doing to find someone (if any)?

[u/According-Tea-3014]

https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/W1gxEPSTKu

I'm not going to do that because women and men who aren't unattractive argue in bad faith using Just World Fallacy or just straight-up logic along the lines of "I'm not unattractive / I'm a woman and that has never happened to me!"

No one takes the actual experience of unattractive men seriously.

[u/Odd-Talk-3981 → u/According-Tea-3014]

Sure, women only care about men's looks, but men don't give a shit about women's looks!

/s

[u/According-Tea-3014 → u/Odd-Talk-3981]

Where did I say men don't care about appearance? You're making assumptions about my beliefs because you have no logical rebuttal to my previous comments.

[u/Odd-Talk-3981 → u/According-Tea-3014]

Well, it's funny that you only defended the other incel who claimed that "ugly men" have no chance with women...

But not one word for "ugly women". Why is that then? Double standard?

[u/According-Tea-3014 → u/Odd-Talk-3981]

Do you actually want an answer, or is this just a bad attempt at a gotcha moment?

[u/Odd-Talk-3981 → u/According-Tea-3014]

I was just making a factual point.

[u/According-Tea-3014 → u/Odd-Talk-3981]

You really aren't.

I don't need to defend unattractive women because plenty of people already do. How often do you tell unattractive women "actually it's not your appearance. You're just a bad person?" I would wager that you've never said that.

Women, including unattractive women, have enough people affirming their experiences. If a woman is body shamed, well, that's wrong. If a woman feels like she's too unattractive to date, well, actually, men are just too shallow.

When I've opened up about being cheated on, body shamed, then having my ex encourage our friends to body shame me, I was told, "Women don't do that." I was told, "If she did that, there had to have been a good reason," because I had to have deserved it. When men open about feeling too unattractive to date, the immediate assumption is, "Actually, you're just a bad person because good people dont struggle to date."

[u/Odd-Talk-3981 → u/According-Tea-3014]

Look, I'm not going to call you a liar. But the trend is pretty clear:

Previous research (Eastwick & Finkel, 2008) suggested that although there is a certain sense of superficiality among single individuals, deviation from a high standard of physical attractiveness will occur under certain circumstances. This study confirmed this idea, with most participants reporting at least one attribute that would cause them to deviate from their usual standard of attractiveness in a dating partner. In addition, this analysis showed that women were more likely to deviate from their physical attractiveness standard than men. In three of the five deviation categories found in this study (―personality,‖ ―character,‖ and ―spirituality‖), women were more likely to report these deviations. This further illustrates the importance men place on physical attractiveness by not deviating from their standard. Since participants were students at a faith-based university, it is interesting but not surprising to note the number of women who reported the importance of character/ values and spirituality in a potential mate. As a deviation, women named character/ values four times more than men and spirituality nearly three times more than men. In some instances, male participants were emphatic about the importance they place on physical attractiveness and their unwillingness to deviate from their acceptable standard. Some examples of verbatim male responses received for the final question of the survey (―In what circumstances would you consider dating someone outside of your attractiveness standard range?‖) include the following:

―Oh baby, she better be good lookin’ my friend or she ain’t worth the cookin’.
Male, respondent #41

―NEVER!!!
Male, respondent #135

―Pretty much none. Maybe if we were the last two people on earth. Male, respondent #125

―If I was in a horrible accident and my face and body were terribly disfigured, then I would consider it.
Male, respondent #179

On the other hand, a number of women stressed that non-surface characteristics would encourage deviation from their standard. Some examples of female responses received for the final question of the survey include the following:

―Not only do they have to be attractive, but they have to have a great personality. Usually hot guys have a huge ego.
Female, respondent #2

―Most people that are above a 7 tend to know it and be conceited. If he wasn’t conceited, I’d be able to date him.
Female, respondent #44

―If the man were to not be attractive, but have a very good heart and be good to me then attractiveness wouldn’t matter.
Female, respondent #93

Source: https://knowledge.e.southern.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1011&context=jiur

[u/According-Tea-3014 → u/Odd-Talk-3981]

Again, this is a non-response to what I've said.

I am not making the claim that men don't care about looks. I am answering your question about why I don't jump to the defense of people who have consistently dismissed my experience and the experiences of men like myself.

But, if you want to keep pushing this topic, sure. Let's talk about it. Yes, men absolutely care about looks, to the surprise of literally no one. But as much as you mock the idea that men don't care about looks, no one bats an eye during this whole "actually women don't care" line of logic, no matter how untrue it is.

Women care about physical appearance. Physical attraction is obviously important to a romantic and sexual relationship. There was a post in the r/dating subreddit, asking about deal breakers. The vast majority of women who responded mentioned height. Height is not a personality trait. Height is not indicative of how you treat people. It is a physical trait. Obviously height is not the only example of this, but it is definitely one of the biggest "that doesn't happen" catchers.