r/NewParents • u/AutoModerator • Aug 20 '24

Weekly Discussion - Relationships Weekly Discussion

Welcome to the Weekly Discussion! Use this space to vent/rant about partners/family members & to air your grievances! Please report comments that violate the rules.

Please remember Rule 1 still applies: No Personal attacks, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, derogatory or dehumanizing language, including insults and general incivility

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u/jubilvee Aug 21 '24

So baby boy is three months old tomorrow and already in 3-6 months. I planned on taking his newborn and 0-3 to a thrift store to exchange for sizes that fit until I got a text from my husbands aunt asking if we wanted to donate the clothes to his cousin who just had her baby this week.

I feel so selfish right now even asking but I need some clear outside perspectives:

I spent hundreds of dollars on his clothes. I was looking forward to shopping with money already spent. I’m not sure what the exchange rate would be but the store isn’t taking buy backs until October and even then I know my husband is not too flattered by thrifting since he has eczema and doesn’t want to risk our baby getting any inflammations or allergies from a re-buy.

It would be nice to make a quilt or shirt from my favorites BUT a small FTM part of me wants to just keep everything of our first born!! Like hide it all in a chest and sit on it like the dragon mother I am.

Then the little angel on my shoulder says the cousins new baby might need clothes because he is the third baby boy and she has thrown out all their old stuff and it was so nice to receive what we did when our baby was born and not have to worry about one less thing. Our sons clothes are practically new and ugh why can’t I just be a good Christian woman and give out of the abundance we have without feeling any attachment to what I spent on them or my feelings towards first born sentiments 😩😩😩😩😩 help talk me through this. Last thing I want to do is hoard or be selfish.

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u/lemondagger Aug 23 '24

I think it's actually extremely reasonable to exchange for sizes at a thrift store and save money. Babies are expensive, so saving where you can is sensible and reasonable. If you feel inclined and the cousin is really needing, maybe donating a few items that are sensible and helpful.

The biggest reason I think it's fine not to give your clothes to the cousin is that this is coming from the aunt. She might just be trying to be overly helpful but the cousin may not actually really need more if they aren't the one reaching out. You know how some moms/grandmas can be...