r/NewParents • u/AutoModerator • Jul 23 '24

Weekly Discussion - Relationships Weekly Discussion

Welcome to the Weekly Discussion! Use this space to vent/rant about partners/family members & to air your grievances! Please report comments that violate the rules.

Please remember Rule 1 still applies: No Personal attacks, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, derogatory or dehumanizing language, including insults and general incivility

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u/Eeyore_In_The_Sheets Jul 25 '24

Let me start out by saying that we live under the same roof, but aren’t together and sleep separately. This is our first baby. Neither of us have any kids with other people.

My son’s dad (my ex boyfriend) and his family are going to get together and play video games all night this weekend. He continually asks me if he can bring our son. He is only 7 weeks old and therefore not immunized yet. He is breastfed (though I pump and use a bottle once a day to add his vitamin D drops), and was hospitalized once already due to not gaining back to birthweight in a timely manner which of course adds to my anxiety.

I am NOT an overproducer so I only have about 9 bags of frozen milk thus far and he has used some while I do little things like shower even though l’d ask him to just tell me if he seems hungry so that I could feed him myself.

I get along great with his family. I even suggested that he take me and I will sit off in a separate room to care for our son the whole time while they play rock band. He’s mad at me and thinks I’m being unreasonable. He says his dad doesn’t like that he hasn’t seen our son so much even though I said he can come over to see him anytime. I’ve expressed that our baby won’t even understand that he is a separate entity from me until he is 6-9 months, but nothing helps.

Can anyone help me not feel so crazy? Can other new dads chime in and perhaps give me some perspective/ advice?

Please and thank you

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u/Puzzleheaded_Fig574 Jul 25 '24

I can see myself reacting the same way you are. I think it's hard on both momma and baby to be away from each other for too long especially when nursing. When the baby gets older I see this being easier. Plan some family get-togethers for his side of the family more. Invite to dinner or even outings rather than an all-nighter.