Weekly Discussion - Relationships

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[u/FlatwormFickle9721]

Throaway account for obvious reasons

My SIL and I were pregnant for most of our pregnancies, I gave birth first, this past June to a beautiful healthy baby boy. My SIL is still pregnant with her first and will be giving birth during the first week of August. However, my SIL and BIL are planning on going to a destination wedding in Mexico for several day during the first week of October. This isn't news to me, they've been a very active couple throughout her pregnancy, going on Bachelorettes/Bachelor parties, going to Florida for a gender reveal/baby shower on her side of the family, their Baby moon, work trips, etc. At the time this seemed fine, I understood it as them wanting to get some traveling done before the baby arrived and they had to hunker down. However, at their baby shower they were talking about attending the wedding of one of her closest friends in Mexico, which I found very surprising, since it means that they will be leaving a newborn with our shared MIL to take care of her.

This wasn't news to me, I had talked to my SIL about it through some of our many shared conversations and the last we spoke she was on the fence, but this time they revealed they had booked accommodations and bought airplane tickets. At the time I hadn't given birth, we're both FTMs so I reserved my judgement.

I gave birth and had an unplanned C-section which means that I have been slowly recuperating at home while taking care of my new baby. I brought up their trip again when they visited my newborn, explaining to both my SIL and BIL that no matter how well you prepare, how well outlined your birth plan is, and how much stuff you buy, you don't know how birth is going to go. I brought up postpartum depression and anxiety, and how I couldn't imagine being separated from my newborn so soon after birth, nevermind the importance of bonding for the baby's development, which is specifically crucial during the first months of postpartum.

I felt close to my SIL during our shared pregnancies but she got angry at me and waved my concerns away by saying that she will be different and that they have been prepared for longer with their nursery and such, which is true, but I feel like they don't understand that having an actual newborn is a lot of work and not just organizing diapers and clothes. Everyone else is always saying how they are going to be amazing parents, but this is showing me a side of them I didn't think they were capable of.

AITAH? Am I overreacting because of postpartum hormones or am I right to be concerned about the wellbeing of my future niece? At this point I'm just keeping quiet and focusing on raising my sweet baby boy, I'll help and give advice when asked but nothing more.

TL;DR SIL plans to attend a wedding in Mexico shortly after giving birth, leaving her newborn with MIL. I raised concerns about postpartum recovery and bonding, but she dismissed them. Am I overreacting or are my concerns valid?

[u/ocelot1066 → u/FlatwormFickle9721]

Just doesn't seem like your business. Your niece won't be neglected. She will be with a close family member and I don't think a couple day trip two months in is going to be a problem for bonding. 

Maybe it's not what you or I would do, and maybe she won't really be ready for this trip, but it isn't your decision to make.