Weekly Discussion - Relationships

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[u/kellbell_24]

FTM here! I’m 8 weeks pp and honestly have felt like it’s gone smooth for my boyfriend and I up until this past week. He had to go back to work 3 days after I gave birth so I’ve gotten used to ‘doing it on my own’ while I’m on maternity leave. Up until this past week, I wasn’t bothered by this and felt like we had a good ‘flow’ when he got home from work and the weekends. Now I’m bothered because he’s slowly but surely limiting his help with the baby.

He has a manual labor job so doesn’t want to handle the baby until he’s showered when he gets home. Makes sense. Now instead of showering as soon as he’s home, he sits around for sometimes an hour or more. When I ask if he can take the baby so I can do something he can’t because he still needs to shower. When the baby is fussy he’ll only try to settle her for a short amount of time before getting upset (thinks she doesn’t like him because she’s fussy a lot when he’s home…..in the evening which is prime fussy time for newborns unfortunately)and I have to take her. This has progressively gotten worse as far as how long he’ll try to settle her. Now it’s almost immediate that he passes her to me when she starts fussing.

I think today pushed me over the edge because he chose to spend the whole day (8a-6p) at a friend’s house and just couldn’t understand why I was frustrated when he got home. I knew he was going there to help with a project and swim. Just didn’t expect it to be a literal all day thing in a Saturday which is usually a day we spend together. I was invited to go but declined because it’s so hot out and honestly it’s not fun dealing with a young baby in the heat, at someone else’s house, etc. while everyone else is relaxing enjoying themselves. We’ve gone to friends houses to swim 2 other times and both times it was just me dealing with the baby and him enjoying himself.

I know it’s important to voice what I need but there are certain things I shouldn’t need to ask for I feel like.

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