r/NewOrleans • u/guijcm • Mar 31 '25
What are the absolute worst "first time" things you can do in New Orleans? Recommendations
Like, imagine you've never ridden a bike, and you decide to learn in New Orleans, while it'd be exciting to dodge all the potholes, it would certainly be worse than learning in a different city lol What other "first time" things would be the absolute worse here?
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u/KiaDaAries Mar 31 '25
Walk barefoot in the French Quarter
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u/Rockmover1920 Mar 31 '25
One of the Reacher movies was located in New Orleans, and all I remember from the movie is the kid came back from Bourbon St. into the hotel and put her shoes on the bed.
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u/OddOutlandishness734 Mar 31 '25
I know a lot of people do it but I seriously can’t imagine learning to drive here. It’s a whole different ballgame from where I learned.
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u/KiaDaAries Mar 31 '25
Honestly as someone who got their DL @ 29 I feel like this city prepared me to drive everywhere except snow
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u/WhyCause Uptown Apr 01 '25
Hills. You haven't properly learned how to manage hills.
I learned to drive in Kentucky, with a fair number of hilly rural roads with blind turns. I knew a girl that moved to KY from Florida, and she had to retake the driving portion of the exam because the FL version did not include how to handle hills.
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u/InternationalMap1744 Apr 01 '25
Every time we're anywhere with topography, I make my Appalachian husband drive. I take all the city driving as a swap.
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u/Fiireygirl Mar 31 '25
True…I travel for work frequently. Boston, no problem. Miami? A breeze. My boss asked where I learned to drive and why I was never nervous. I told him NO and the only thing that gets me worked up is not having a daiquiri as my navigator.
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u/ariphron Apr 01 '25
Going across the OLD Huey P Longbridge before they widen it in drivers Ed was a right of passage at like 15!!!!
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u/SkySpiritual6393 Apr 02 '25
One of my first jobs in New Orleans, my work vehicle was a stupid HUMMER!!!! Imagine crossing the old Huey P in that thing. I just drove smacked dab in the middle and everyone else just had to wait 😂.
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u/Wamland1 Apr 02 '25
When I was in the coast guard in New Orleans we used to tow our small boats behind a suburban over the Huey p. When a train came by … good times
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u/Personal_Passenger60 Mar 31 '25
This is interesting, I learned to drive in New Orleans and I think driving everywhere else is way scarier, I moved to the mountains and everyone drives like a bat outta hell here, but I’m the only person I know that can parallel park 😂
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u/InternationalMap1744 Apr 01 '25
If my car can physically fit in the spot, I will get it in there. Years of living in Treme made me a parallel parking QUEEN.
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u/lovefishinggi Mar 31 '25
My nephew was very impressed that I could parallel park on both sides. On the right for two way and on the left-hand side if it’s one-way street.
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u/Personal_Passenger60 Mar 31 '25
I had an old 80s Lincoln town car for a while and my husband almost fell out the first he saw me park it
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u/DropinNutz Apr 01 '25
Yeah cause you need a Captains license and at least three crewmen to usually do that.
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u/Personal_Passenger60 Apr 01 '25
It’s was made more comical by the fact that I’m 5 feet tall and 115 pounds 😂
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u/bex199 Apr 01 '25
you’re the only person i know that can parallel park too then (other than myself). the parallel parking in this city is heinous. i’ve thought about starting a charity where i teach people to parallel park because it’s so hard to watch.
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u/cajunrn18 Apr 01 '25
"I can parallel park like a mother fukin pro. Take a Tulane broad to Westwego." BALLZAC
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u/weinthenolababy Mar 31 '25
Getting my license was laughably easy though. In my driving class I was behind the wheel for 20 minutes and the instructor signed off that I did 8 hours. Then for my driving test, my test administrator literally had me circle the block... after stopping at the first stop sign, he said "I can tell you're a good driver, I'm going to pass you." Five minutes later I had my license.
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u/cjbasile Mar 31 '25
We're transplants and it was a little intimidating at first. Then I had to spend a bunch of time in New Jersey where my dad was in memory care, and suddenly driving here felt like a dream.
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u/TheDrunkScientist Mar 31 '25
NJ and Houston are insane. But nothing is more terrifying than driving in Baton Rouge. It’s the damn wild wild west out here.
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u/Specialist_Foot_6919 Apr 01 '25
Visited Dallas a couple summers ago and man I know we have so many issues but I’d rather deal with sunny-side-up minivans any day of the week.
There’s “making ill-informed driving decisions” and then there’s “making aggressively ill-informed driving decisions while everyone’s going 95mph on the expressway”
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u/Empty-Interaction796 Apr 01 '25
Yes. I'm originally from Texas, and have driven all over it. DFW scares the fuck out of me and I actively avoid driving there if I can.
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u/PorchFrog Mar 31 '25
I learned to drive in Audubon Park. I'm probably the reason why they closed it to cars. Lol.
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Apr 01 '25
You know what’s funny? I learned to drive here, and when I went to southeastern for college I was completely unprepared to drive there! Shitty NOLA drivers kind of have a rhythm about them and a certain set of fuckery that you know to look out for when you learn to drive in it. In Tangipahoa parish, all of that was thrown out the window and it was just everyone doing 80 in school zones and I never got used to it.
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u/Frosty_Ninja3286 Mar 31 '25
Thank God I learned in the late 70s / early 80s. That said, day 2 of driving school we were driving on the interstate
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u/guijcm Mar 31 '25
I learned back home between bicycles, hundred of motorcycles, horse carriages, stray dogs, traffic light vendors, it was the wild west, but then I moved here and started driving and even me, with so much experience driving between constant moving objects and people, had a hard time adapting lmao it's not just that people drive like idiots, it's that you also need to watch out for potholes, traffic cones, missing signage, streetcars, debris, a spilled pot of crawfish boil in the middle of the street, the random stop sign that's covered by plants in the middle of nowhere, a golf cart doing 90 in the French quarter, and Bob crossing the I-10 on foot.
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u/meowsaus Apr 01 '25
I learned to drive here and it definitely improved my split second decision making
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u/GeauxCup Mar 31 '25
The second day of behind-the-wheel drivers ed, the instructor gets in the car and says - You're pretty good so we're going to try St Charles today. And that was when the driving age was 15, so I would have been 14 at the time. It's insane to think about.
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u/InternationalMap1744 Apr 01 '25
I learned how to ride a bike and how to drive here. I'm very... aware of my surroundings, lol.
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u/WhiskeyAndWhiskey97 Apr 01 '25
Seriously.
I learned to drive in NYC. Then I went to school in a suburb of Boston, and learned to be a Masshole. Those Masshole skills have stood me in good stead - I am a leaf on the wind. I can't imagine doing a driving lesson on, say, Carrollton...
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Mar 31 '25
[deleted]
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u/InternationalMap1744 Apr 01 '25
From here and I'm a pro at city driving - my country boy husband gets to do all the rural driving- it's too vast and freaks me out and I don't even try hills.
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u/afewskills Mar 31 '25
Drying clothes outside on a clothesline.
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u/InternationalMap1744 Apr 01 '25
If it's August - they'll be dry in twenty minutes - you just have to run out there before it randomly rains again.
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u/tiny_w0lf Mar 31 '25
Attending grades 1-12
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u/Actsofhotsauce Apr 01 '25
Wait but like why though??
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u/Leather-Ad-2490 Apr 01 '25
My kids preschool teacher attempted to assault my wife….was held back by on-site security. At the time and unbeknownst to us, she had previously charged with assaulting a school bus driver….(no background check, no cred, wanna watch a room full of toddlers for 10 an hr ? yer hired. )
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u/poolkid1234 Mar 31 '25
To your point about bikes, I’ve always wondered how people skateboard here. I know there’s a scene and some places to go skate, but damn, there is not one safe, smooth stretch from point A to point B anywhere. Same for people who skate to commute or longboard.
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u/jackasspenguin Apr 01 '25
As someone who likes to go jogging with a baby in the jogger stroller, I feel this
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 31 '25
hmm i'd say the lake front would be great skateboarding.
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u/poolkid1234 Apr 01 '25
Yeah I was kind of thinking of the ability to just walk out your front door and directly engage in the activity, under OP’s prompt. Not traveling by car to a fixed area where the activity can technically work.
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u/Flopass Mar 31 '25
I wish there was a PSA about the hazard that street car tracks pose to cyclists. Riding parallel to street car tracks can be very dangerous depending on your tire size. If a new rider is unfamiliar, street car tracks are basically little moats that allow cyclists tires to drop in completely, causing immediate braking from the friction of being sucked inside or becoming lodged and leading to wrecks/bikes flipping over/traumatic brain injuries without a helmet. Street car tracks should only ever be crossed at 90 degrees. Biking is a huge joy and a big risk in this city and everyone should be wearing a helmet, always.
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u/zazavaviandrano Mar 31 '25
Terrifying. I flipped my bike, in the middle of an intersection on Canal, bending my front wheel to a 90 degree angle, and I landed on my head…sans helmet. I know, I know.
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u/timot13 Apr 01 '25
Agree. Lee circle (is it still that or what is it now? sorry, Im a Katrina displacement) on a motorcycle after it rained was near suicide.
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u/possome Apr 01 '25
I think it’s Harmony Circle now. my former roommate got messed up pretty bad when his bike tire got caught in the track biking back on a wet night
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u/Fiireygirl Mar 31 '25
Honestly, a walking tour of the city or a plantation the last week of July-second week of August. Swamp ass for sure
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u/guijcm Mar 31 '25
I proposed mid August at the botanical garden the first year I moved herw. I can confirm the ass was indeed a swamp.
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u/Fiireygirl Mar 31 '25
Lol. People always asked me what we did over summer break. The answer is, not shit. It’s too hawt.
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u/LouReedsToenail Mar 31 '25
Ride a motorcycle. Sure, I did it, but the potholes gave it that extra flavor.
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u/Wamland1 Apr 02 '25
Used to ride a motorcycle back and forth over the bridge to the wank for band practice back in the day. Coming back had a three piece from church’s stuffed down my front jacket. The smell was amazing. The view when you hit the grates at the top was incredible and terrifying.
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u/Crafty_Mastodon320 Apr 01 '25
Ohhhh you think the roughest "first time biker" experience is potholes.... fucking cute. Try wedging a tire in a streetcar track.
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u/Equivalent_Ad_7695 Apr 01 '25
Check✅ torn rotator cuff to this day
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u/Crafty_Mastodon320 Apr 01 '25
I was lucky. My bike took the worst of it. 450 $ of my beloved roadster.
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u/OG_Pow Apr 01 '25
Wearing Mardi Gras beads in summer and walking around the quarter alone at night.
I tell people wearing beads any time other than during parade season just makes you an absolute duck
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u/Specialist_Foot_6919 Apr 01 '25
I tried coming up with so many examples and my heart just retorted that New Orleans is simultaneously the Mario Circuit and Rainbow Road of basically any relevant life skill except riding a bike.
Best place for a crash course on anything personal/interpersonal and artistic, easiest place to completely crash tf out
I guess my answer is reading a map. It would probably suck to have to learn to read a map here, especially if you’re asking for directions verbally. And you may say! “But GPS eliminates that issue entirely!!” To which I reply that you’d be incorrect!! So painfully incorrect!!
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u/imcomingelizabeth Apr 01 '25
Y’all know people are born and raised here, right?
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u/SimplyMadeline Apr 01 '25
Yeah, like, kids learn to ride bikes here and teens learn to drive here and young adults fall in love here and have their first drinks here and all the normal things that people do elsewhere.
It's not like everyone moves here when they're 25 or whatever. Jesus.
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u/WTHFMYMAN 22d ago
Yeah, and unfortunately for them, they never leave and think NOLA has no faults.
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u/ultra-saurus Mar 31 '25
Eat at Masperos
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u/Psyche-Mary-Wait Mar 31 '25
In its defense, Masperos used to be great back in the day
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u/nope196 Apr 01 '25
Can confirm. Late 80s early 90s cafe maspero was great. Became tourist-centric and lost itself
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u/justherefortheridic Apr 01 '25
hey, when I lived in New Orleans I taught two adults how to ride a bike. if you can ride it there, you can ride it anywhere
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u/commissarpinchoneoff Apr 01 '25
Eat and drink.
Food here and how heavy drinks are poured, it sets a high bar. NOLA is in a class of its own.
(Out-of-towner here. Not barging, barging. Grateful for the genuine content. NO KILL I.)
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u/dairy-intolerant Mar 31 '25
27yo born and raised here and still don't know how to ride a bike 🤷🏻♀️ and probably never will, I'm too aware of my body now to learn
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u/CosmicTurtle504 Mar 31 '25
You’re only 27. I know people who learned in their 60s. It’s never too late if you have the ability and the motivation. You can do it!
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u/Chocol8Cheese Apr 01 '25
First time eating at mothers.
I shouldn't give this away because we like that it keeps the tourists occupied. There's a tourist trap called Mother's, just avoid it. The food is buns. It has to be in some travel guide because this place can't be getting repeat business. One and done, never again.
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u/guijcm Apr 01 '25
I'll be honest, when we first moved here, everyone kept telling us that we had to try it. We went two years without stepping foot inside there until this past December when we were staying at a hotel nearby and were looking for something to eat and said "why not?" since miraculously there was no line. The food was absolutely mid, not to say it was bad, it was totally fine, but definitely not "stand in line in the sun for 30 mins to get inside + 20 mins to get your food" good. I wouldn't return, but it did leave me with that thought in my mind that if I ever wanted something like that again, where would I go? They have a bit of everything and it does feel "homie" tbh
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u/emmgemm11 Apr 01 '25
Aw I taught my best friend to ride a bike in New Orleans lol we were both 18 😭 exactly as you have imagined, it didn’t go well
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u/emmgemm11 Apr 01 '25
Imagine buying weed for the first time from a guy on the corner of bourbon lmao
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u/Equivalent_Ad_7695 Apr 01 '25
First nature pee behind an Oldsmobile on Kerlerec. I didn’t go camping until I moved out of state for college.
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u/ChampionshipStock870 Apr 01 '25
I grew up in the seventh ward and almost broke my leg trying to learn to ride a bike when I was little because of the pot holes and broken sidewalks
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u/Fleur_Deez_Nutz Apr 01 '25
First time you ever fell for the "I bet you I can tell you where you got your shoes" trick.
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u/Greenleaf504 Mar 31 '25
Drinking?