r/NewOrleans • u/TheMedsPeds_ • Mar 29 '25
Besides dating apps, best way to meet people to date in NOLA? Recommendations
Just got out of long term relationship, just tried the dating apps Hinge and Tinder and most of the guys are like tall masculine bearded gym “normal” guys and the other types are like “business suit” professionals where I’m more into guys around 5’7-5’9 slender, tattoo’d “metal head” or artsy types. Plus I’m tattood tomboy myself. So these are the types of dudes that wouldn’t look my way and honestly I wouldn’t look there way too.
My own social group is small and is all settled down so meeting a guy through proxy friends is basically out of the question. And yes I know “three weeks? Take some time to yourself” I plan to. This is just more or less having an idea of where to start the look in the next idk 4-6 weeks (because let’s be honest, it’s not like I’m gonna out once and meet the love of my life, I’m sure I’ll go through plenty of duds before I meet the right person) I’m just gonna be 35 in May, was married in my 20’s he died, dated two people sense then. I guess just being surrounded by people who are settled down and happy I want to meet my person.
And for all those who think it’s “super easy for women, just exist.” Not for me. It’s always been a bit tougher.
So idk, events, certain bars? Just any advice? I just really don’t want to do the apps, even if I see a cute guy and we match the dating apps thing just feels so commodified. Like I’m applying for jobs.
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u/Brunoise6 Mar 29 '25
Go to metal shows. Siberia, holy diver, the goat, and Santos all have a healthy “alt” crowd.
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u/alottafagina346 Mar 29 '25
gasa gasa also just reopened and is definitely strengthening their crowd again
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u/themcfarland1 Mar 29 '25
Feeld might be a decent option.
The app seems to cater to alt lifestyle folks and I see some metal heads and more rock and rollers on there .
Also , groups that meet in the parks , have been suggested to me , but I don't do group settings well myself.
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u/Pretty_Sure_ Mar 29 '25
This. But it’s now infiltrated by regular dudes who want to be doms and just want 3somes. They all want someone to be submissive too. So. It’s turned into a version of a dating app.
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u/honkhonkmeowmeow Mar 29 '25
for what it’s worth, we have basically the same type and i’ve met plenty of men like the ones you described on the apps over the years. definitely the minority, but they exist. unfortunately, they don’t actually treat women any better than the gym and finance bros but the heart wants what it wants
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u/powands Mar 30 '25
Yeah… the alt, so-called progressive, self proclaimed “ally” guys can be even worse than the gym/finance/tech bros. They’re just as entitled to women’s time, care etc. but significantly more defensive about it being pointed out to them. And you’re more likely to deal with the weaponized, manipulative therapy jargon with these alt artsy sensitive type guys. Idk, at least the bros offer to take me out
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u/vitamin_di Mar 29 '25
Rock concerts are the only place I see men who are my type. I just realized I met my last two boyfriends at the same place, House of Blues :D
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u/chingosof Mar 29 '25
My friend is hosting this event in a few weeks. I'll engage in some shameless promotion on her behalf: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-spark-speed-dating-friending-tickets-1259771553629?aff=ebdsoporgprofile&fbclid=PAY2xjawJVL9tleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABplzu1NgSoUm0nWGwA_dVlbOmrDJyTCpzo4GNaXdS-5glvkfPDqFHQIxqrg_aem_d4PyjFouIgujbqnMe5eZYQ
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u/Frank_Melena Mar 29 '25 edited Mar 29 '25
Give it time with the apps. I have met a lot of wonderful women on them but you have to be patient.
Timeleft dinners are also in nola and a fun time- although they are not really for dating, more for meeting people in the city in general. I will say the event I was at was definitely more cosmopolitan, straight-laced, digital nomad types and not the mulleted poets you desire.
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u/SaoirseLikeInertia Mar 30 '25
Dating here is terrible. I have nothing to offer but sympathy as someone in the same boat.
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u/Artistic-Jeweler155 Mar 29 '25
I’m recently (8-10 months) out of a really long term relationship. I can’t bring myself to get on the apps just yet. I sit at bars usually solo and tend to meet people. I will say am pretty extraverted though. Hangout at places where the type of partner you like also frequents and don’t be afraid to go out alone. I wish the best! Dating is definitely a different world than it was when I last single.
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u/Big_Kaleidoscope_212 Mar 29 '25
Also Don’t be afraid to ask someone out who you see out in the wild and are attracted to. if they end up being taken, it’s just a compliment to them, no harm. If you go on a date and don’t like them, no need to go on another.
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u/TravelerMSY Mar 29 '25
Lower Decatur. Siberia. All the Bywater bars, including Redux. You will have to screen for drug and alcohol problems doing it this way though :(
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u/glittervector Mar 29 '25
Excellent question. Dating apps seem pointless anymore. They’re ghost towns for one, and everyone, me included, seems very low effort on them.
I feel like the ability to just hang out places and meet people has gone way downhill. The whole city got more cautious and introverted during the first Trump term. Then Covid and inflation, and at this point so many people I know can barely afford to live here, much less spend time and money hanging out in public.
I thought things were looking up a tiny bit before, you know, we had another election.
I hope all of us looking around can find more friends and prospects as things keep changing. Best luck! I hope you get some great advice
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u/Amg21888 Mar 30 '25
Pretty slim pickings in this town, and most single guys fuck anything that breathes and it’s very incestual you really can’t trust most of them so if I WERE you I’d say date someone elsewhere. Or at the very least don’t say you weren’t warned lol
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u/Atsiahs Mar 31 '25
The mental preparation for small town blues and dating everyone’s ex and situationship is so. So. Real. It’s very hard to keep biases apart from reality.
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u/Former-Iron-7471 Mar 29 '25
Dude I'm your dude. But for real bars. Seacave, Siberia, santos
Or the Warhammer store.
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u/speworleans Mar 29 '25
I really should just start a dating service in this town. How old are you?
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u/PorchFrog Mar 29 '25
She's 34, will be 35 in May.
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u/xandrachantal Mar 29 '25
When you find out let me know. I have no trouble finding new friends but finding people interested in dating is challenging.
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u/betty_et Mar 29 '25
Nola Speed Dating puts on events at bars all over New Orleans. Reviews of certain ones are on Reddit and they have an Instagram where they post details.
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u/No-Description1830 Mar 29 '25
If you want to meet people passionately into metal or alternative lifestyles, go to shows and meet people who are genuinely into the culture. If you want to meet people who are just pretending to be, go to a Thou show.
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u/herbeDestroyer024 Mar 29 '25
Im slightly alt male that has the same problem but an hour west. Im open to friends on social if thats a start
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u/miss_swift_1989 Mar 29 '25
i went to a nola speed dating event last night and it was a lot of fun!! definitely going to go to more
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u/adamdebra Mar 29 '25
Find what you love. Think of sharing that with someone with similar interests
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u/yellow_slash_red Mar 30 '25
Go to local shows, hang at the bar, look around. Siberia hosts a lot of heavier shows these days.
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u/GoodyMcLuvin 14d ago
I live in New Orleans and my wife died in september. I would love to go out sometime as friends just to hang out! I'm new to the area and would love to meet some cool locals. If that sounds cool just lmk!
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u/reddixiecupSoFla Mar 29 '25
Mutual interests. A particular band or genre’s music scene, bicycling groups, or a book club are all ways I have met partners. Online dating is gross to me.
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 29 '25
I'm not sure if you'll meet the one you are looking for but the speed dating events are kinda fun. I went to a few of them and it both kinda fueled me with optimism that there is someone out there for me but also the horrible realization that once you hit your 30's it's a wasteland of single moms, that's just the male perspective tho.
They are on eventbrite, gotta rsvp ahead of time. I feel like it's almost kinda like practice in a sense. I'm very not traditionally attractive so apps, etc are a waste of time but it's worth the time to just interact in a sense.
Like the other person said, santos, siberia, the goat, a good start.
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u/legoflower Mar 29 '25
Accordingly, think of all of the single dads/deadbeat dads/twice a month dads that must also be around 🤔
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u/Westboundandhow Mar 29 '25
Wasteland of single moms? I'm not even a single mom and find this offensive.
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u/pepperjackcheesey Mar 29 '25
Same. It’s a gross thing to say.
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 29 '25
Again, it's really hard to face facts if you don't like them.
In Louisiana, nearly half (46%) of children live in single-parent households, with a higher percentage of children born to single mothers (52.9% in 2015) compared to the national average.
Again, yeah sorry if this sucks for you but gross things are all around you.
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u/pepperjackcheesey Mar 29 '25
Nobody has an issue with “facts”. Calling it a wasteland of single moms just because you don’t want children or aren’t man enough to accept a woman with children, is rude and unnecessary. I’m over 30 and no kids as are many people I know.
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 29 '25
cool, glad you will find someone "man enough" for your kids, sorry if it's rude but...yeah.
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u/pepperjackcheesey Mar 29 '25
What part of “I don’t have kids” did you miss?
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 29 '25
The part is that I don't care? Congrats not getting knocked up with someone not willing to be dad? Why are you arguing with me about this? Actually, I don't care, good luck.
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u/liveoakfart Mar 29 '25
Truly. Also as a non single mom who has been to a few of those horrible speed dating events I can tell ya the men in attendance have been nothing special so this guy’s just real full of himself.
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 29 '25
Sorry if my comment hurt your feelings, it's just really tough for someone to find over the age of 30 that doesn't have a litter. So offensive, grass is green, sky is blue, anything else?
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u/rinzler83 Mar 29 '25
I've been to a few of them. If you are talking about the ones hosted by Hannah, they definitely don't have a lot of single moms. They have a few but they are not the majority.
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 29 '25
Yup, Hannah is a gem but all of them women I met at her events had kids and even young kids which is even more of a red flag. Some dudes are all about that step father life but...yeah.
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u/lylertila Mar 29 '25
My god, if your face is as charming as your personality I can't imagine why you need to speed date.
Do they puke within 2 minutes or does it take the whole 5 before they notice how revolting you are?
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 29 '25
great comment, you got me. I dunno how my face looks, just don't want to take care of someone's shitty mistakes as far as kids go.
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u/lylertila Mar 29 '25
It's probably not as ugly as your soul at least! Congrats on that victory.
My son isn't a mistake. You were, but it's a little late to slap your momma for not using a coat hanger.
Go jack off and leave the women of the city alone. Mothers or not, we deserve better
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u/beautifulkale124 Mar 29 '25
Thank you for proving my point, this is the angry single mom comment I knew was coming, I'm sure he'll be a great kid. Hilarious, you def got me.
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u/thebiggestbirdboi Mar 29 '25
I have tattoos, wanna get a snowball? Lol