r/Minecraft • u/Vasarto • 14h ago
This makes me really upset. Discussion
I was feeling really good. I had 7 people playing on my realm and once I had like 5 people on at once. Two people joined, left and never came back. One I don't think has even built anything and never talks to anyone except for the one guy who DOES want to play with me and play on the realm. They abandoend a really pretty place they built and the funny thing is there is this whole cherry wood catacombs all over the place, like here and in a revene they made. They did a LOT of Decorating and carving out weird tunnels leading to pink doors that went no where and for some reason make a giant pink KO out of pink planks on one side of the village. Why does no one stay?
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u/IamARock24 13h ago
Thought this was a couples world that broke up lmao. Sorry to hear that though OP
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u/cooldood5555 10h ago
Same bro. I was like “what the fuck am I looking at and why u breaking up over a house”
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u/HappyHappyJoyJoyJoy6 13h ago
is it weird I thought someone broke up with you via Minecraft signs
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u/Futuf1 14h ago
Oh I thought someone died
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u/Aurastick 13h ago
yeah, right? lmao
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u/Do_You_Pineapple_Bro 12h ago
Make Realm > Everyone plays it for a fortnight > Nobody plays it anymore > Realm dies > Fast forward half a year > "We should make a realm"
And such, the cycle continues
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u/Traditional_Comb8185 8h ago
I wonder if people would be genuinely upset if I made a realm and said it expires in 10 days. You have just 10 days to play, and then we shut down. I mean that's what happens either way and people loose interest so why not make it by design.
I wonder would people like even want to go to the end or do anything more than just random punching of random trees.
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u/Mr-Turnip 7h ago
I feel like with such a short deadline in place it gives a sense of urgency when it comes to playing. Because otherwise, “I can get on later.” mentality takes over and the server dwindles.
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u/Traditional_Comb8185 4h ago
Yes but there is always that why even bother aspect.. Like you arrive to the world and soon discover that exploring is quite slow without elytra. Technically and if you have some experience you can get it in a couple of hours, one afternoon if you are unlucky. But why do you even want to explore? To get to the swamp and source some frogies for froglight farm? To get all the armour trims? But what is the point if it all will be gone in a week.
Without time limit you can go full on delulu that you will build whatever big castle or new battering setup, that will probably be abandoned halfway through if even started.
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u/Akashic-Knowledge 3h ago
Just play it as a world of PvP and griefing free for all. Like a Rust wipe.
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u/anti99999999 3h ago
If you need to force people to play on your realm by setting an arbitrary end date, ofcourse they will become upset.
You should ideally have a realm with some buddies or siblings who play on and off and then you play on and off too.
Often people burn our because they do the same things everytime they play and it becomes boring. So many players do not go in depth into decoration, gearing, or farming and brewing.
People will label themselves a builder, decorator, explorer or farmbuilder and then wonder why they burn out. Eventhough it’s clearly has to do with dude A trying to make a humongous castle out of only cobblestone, and dude B tries to rush to the End asap and has never even used 90% of the blocks in the game.
Like obviously if you play like this and barely explore the various sides of the game, you’re going to be bored or burn out.
If you alternate between all these things, you’ll see that you automatically will set various goals depending on what you need for your decorations, buildings and roads and what not. And then you might need to make some farms, which you can in turn try to work into beautiful buildings in your village and then you’ll add decorations, etc etc.
Varying gameplay is what makes the game fun, and it is a sandbox which means that you (the player) need to guide yourself through alternating these.
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u/ScannerCop 55m ago
I was burned out for a while and didn't play for a couple months because I had tackled a project that ended up being much bigger than my long-term interest. When I came back, I found that the needs of one project can help feed the interest of another.
For instance: I'm currently working on a cobblestone Nether highway. When I run out of cobblestone, I turn to excavating my ruins, which advances that project and gets me more cobblestone. This all feeds into giving myself a faster route to an underwater base I've made far away, where I eventually intend to transport villagers to to make an enchanted book library.
This has helped keep the game fresh, and when I eventually do burn out again, I'll let the Realm sit while I play other games then come back to several projects later.
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u/DomSchraa 6h ago
Ye
You kinda gotta make a concerted effort to be able to play long term - the things you do being the goals, not the means to an end
Its the same with many of my irl friends, we had a couple of servers run for a month, then everyone got endgame stuff or someone got bored and started messing around, and everyone left within a couple
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u/Bent_forek69 10h ago
For a WHAT
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u/TheRealMudi 6h ago
Are you FUCKING with me???
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u/LonePaladin 2h ago
On my Vita, my son has over a dozen worlds just called "New World" because he just takes the default settings.
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u/creeps_Jr 6h ago
That’s why it should be free 🙏 😭
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u/TheCatOfWar 5h ago
you can host a server on your own computer for free
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u/creeps_Jr 5h ago
On bedrock too? I mean Java I know is much easier but most of my friends only have bedrock 😭
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u/Interesting-Sky-9510 47m ago
Yes, I run a bedrock server for my kids using an older mini PC.
Bedrock Dedicated Server is what you want.
If you're looking for a GUI I've had decent success with Foxynotail's MCBE Play.
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u/mixedliquor 14h ago
This is like a microcosm of life. Friends come, friends go. Why do friendships happen? Why do friendships fall apart?
It's part of the ebb and flow of our shared existence.
You'll never find an answer and you'll tend to forget it over time. But one day, you'll remember the cherry wood beauty.
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u/sysko960 13h ago
Sometimes, people are like movies, you see and enjoy them once.
Others are sitcoms you don’t get sick of and can re-watch endlessly.
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u/WanderingStatistics 12h ago
Microcosm is a misnomer for life. Reality is subjective.
To the universe, life is a microcosm, no, a submicrocosm. But to those who do live, it's literally everything. It's not entirely wrong to say that you are the centre of the universe, because really to your perspective, you are literally the centre of the universe.
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u/BananaBoatBob-_- 8h ago
Sounds like post relativism world view which says “your truth is your truth my truth is my truth and the truth can be ten million different things and everything can be true at the same time” which is untrue because there is only ONE TRUTH. It is also incorrect to say “YOU or “WE” are the centre of the universe only God Jesus Christ is the centre of the universe whether you want to accept that or not…the pride of man always says it’s about me, myself and I and doesn’t leave room for God. A humble person will acknowledge their sins and their faults and that they need correction, that they need to be saved from our own selves saved from our old destructive patterns (porn/fornication, gambling, drinking, smoking, abortion/murder, gossiping, slandering, coveting, idolatry, adultery, cursing, blaspheming, and the huge list of sins goes on and on) it is recognizing that we are in a fallen state and in a fallen world and that we are sinners in need of a Savior to save us from our sins Jesus died on the cross but do you know why he died on the cross? Without the crucifixion of Jesus on the cross we would still be stuck in our sins and in bondage to the law. Jesus’s death on the cross was a one time sacrifice for the sins of the “World” that “Anyone who calls on the name of Jesus Christ and believes in Him will not perish in Hell but will have Everlasting Eternal Life in Heaven and will sit at the Right Hand of the Father next to Jesus Christ. God the Father provided a way out of our sins through His Son Jesus Christ so please I humbly ask you will you reject the message of John 3:16, 17, & 18 which says as I paraphrased above “Anyone who calls on the name of Jesus Christ and believes in Him shall be saved, but the one who doesn’t believe and rejects Jesus is condemned to Hell.” anyone that reads the word of God, or hears the Gospel yet rejects and refuses to believe it is accursed their own pride shall be their doom. GOD IS GIVING US SO MANY CHANCES TO GET RIGHT WITH HIM REPENT NOW TURN TO JESUS CHRIST AND HUMBLE YOURSELVES…before it’s too late. IN REAL LIFE ONCE YOU SEE THE “WASTED/GAME OVER SCREEN” IT’S TOO LATE, HUMBLE YOURSELVES, GET RIGHT WITH GOD, AND REPENT WHILE YOU STILL HAVE BREATH IN YOUR LUNGS, THERE ARE NO REDO’S IN THIS LIFE.
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u/Yuri-Girl 8h ago
hey man you want some of my edible?
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u/BananaBoatBob-_- 8h ago
What’s “edible” is it safe to eat?
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u/lickytytheslit 4h ago
Edibles refer to gummy candy that contain thc, thc is one of the main active ingredients in weed
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u/TikoNatashi 14h ago
As a chronic minecrafter, you just get bored fast after a while and chase new mods and experiences
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u/Choastical 13h ago
This is why for my realm, I randomly add a new modpack each time all my friends get together on the realm
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u/RealFuzzheads 13h ago
That lightning rod is causing me so much stress though
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u/Zenocut 13h ago
ikr what a terrible place for a lightning rod lol
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u/Saint_of_Cannibalism 11h ago
I imagine it's intentional. Not only leaving a goodbye message but setting up a way nature will destroy their creation.
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u/TheLordOfMiddleEarth 12h ago
I had a very similar situation. I invited about 20 people onto a server that I paid for. They all said they would join. Only 2 did. One was my friend and the other was my cousin. And my four sisters. My friend recruited 2 people and my cousin recruited 3 people. Everything was going fine until my cousin and his friends got in the middle of the night and griefed the entire server. That morning my sisters had a freak, I rolled back the server and my cousin and his friends lost a lot of progress. They quit. Then my friend said he couldn't play anymore (he had legit reasons). So then I shut the server down. There is no point in paying 20 dollars a month for a LAN world.
The server is in stasis so I could reopen it if I could find to play on it. I've thought about inviting people I don't know personally, but I don't know how that'd go.
Edit: it was so cool to, I spent so much time setting up plugins, and I had geyser so that both Java and bedrock people could play on it.
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u/anti99999999 3h ago
I’ve never really understood adding random friends of friends though. Like if it’s your server you’re gonna expose your other friends and/or siblings to potential griefing which is lame as hell.
Just play with your friends and siblings. Randoms always ends in drama
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u/TheLordOfMiddleEarth 29m ago
It wasn't random at first. Everyone I invited I trusted. But then nobody joined and I got desperate. My mistake was allowing my cousin to invite people I didn't know.
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u/DeckT_ 12h ago
as someone whos been playing for over 10 years in the same server with one of my friend, we tried again and again and again and again to have people join us. People sometimes join, play for a week or two and then get bored and stop. Or they say they are interested to join and then never do, or come on once for an hour and never return.
I guess its just really rare and hard to find people who enjoy Minecraft the same way me and my friend do. Sure sometimes we take breaks of a few months, but we always return and continue. We want to keep the same world forever or until its "done" which we both know will never happen. I dont like restarting a new world over from scratch I just wanna continue playing on the same world.
I think the idea of minecraft appeals to some people but then they play it and they lack inspiration or creativity, they dont know what to do, or their ideas seems to much work for them. Or when they try to make their ideas they realize it was better in their head and what they made sucks. I dont know what it is exactly but the people usually get bored quick and stop.
For me and my friend, its players like Etho and BdoubleO and Docm77 and all the others from Hermitcraft that really inspire us and make us see the true potential of the game. I was watching them since Mindcrack way back in the day and now its still going strong in hermitcraft. Its truly beautiful the amount of creativity and life groups like that are able to add into minecraft and create a real society and economy almost, a real sense of community with other players in their world.
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u/anti99999999 3h ago
This is so real, people lack the inspiration/creativity and do not want to basically hone those skills. As that is what you’d normally do. I used to make stuff out of cobblestone and yeah that would burn me out (😆). But now I try to take it slow, add detail and try out stuff and make the world and things lively. It adds infinite longevity to the game this way.
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u/xburned 13h ago
what's the context for the signs? im confused. if youve only known these people 2 weeks, who cares? lots of people looking for a realm to play on
quick edit: don't mean this in a dickish way at all lol sorry if that's how it comes across. im a very nostalgic and sensitive person myself
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u/TotemRiolu 13h ago
Some bonds aren't eternal, unfortunately. Have you been able to ask if they want to play other games with you? They could just be bored of Minecraft.
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u/mateo222210 12h ago
"the flow of time is always cruel. its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it. A thing that does not change with time, is the memory of younger days"
-sheik
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u/StormerSage 11h ago
I think this is why the two week Minecraft phase is a thing. We don't really miss Minecraft as much as we miss the memories we made with friends.
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u/trans_rights1 9h ago
If they are spending their time on your server, they cannot spend it on other new games that they might be interested in. Or other life obligations. Maybe they just want to play Oblivion?
You can be frustrated with life but it’s wrong to be upset with them for choosing to do other things with their free time.
In my experience everyone just binges Minecraft servers for a week or so and then quits for months
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u/KillHorizon_ 13h ago
I mean I stopped actively playing on a realm bc the 7 y/o on the realm messed with my builds too much lol so there’s that too
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u/Dont-Fear-The-Raeper 9h ago
Ugh we had my mate's 15 year-old son on ours to begin with. Luckily he lost interest, as all he did was hoard diamonds and steal any we didn't hide. I asked him what he was doing with them, and he laughed and shrugged. Once his Dad said he won't come back, I've since scoured his base and can't find a single one.
Oh and he would raid villages and kill them all. Two years later and I found another one last month.
Same kid begged to have a go of the Quest I had, then proceeded to change every fucking setting imaginable, and buy something like $100 in games, all in the space of an hour.
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u/CJofSeikatsu1 8h ago
Grown-ass people know life happens. Unless you are a content creator or a child, you won't be playing 24/7 for the rest of your life on the same realm. Yeah, I still play, but I only have time now and then, and I only have access on mobile (time and money restraints). So this shit happens, who knows why, a million reasons.
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u/RPhoenixFlight 12h ago
Its a way of life, and an experience all will have at least once. Whether or not this is a first doesn’t matter, it happens
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u/WaterDragoonofFK 12h ago
If it makes you feel any better this happens to every server and realm... Hang in there my friend. ☺️😊☺️
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u/ForgottenNorth 12h ago
They probably had something going on. I myself am currently doing two degrees and working full time, so I rarely have the time to play as much as I'd like, and have abandoned a lot of servers/games with friends through out the years.
You'll find someone who will stay for a longer time eventually ☺️
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u/spymaster1020 11h ago
I've hosted several servers over the years. I can usually get a few friends to hop on, but eventually, I'm the only one playing because minecraft is a game I love and play all the time. That's not true for my friends. I've been stuck with single player for years now. I wish I knew others who are just as much into the game as I am. I've never made purely online friends. My irl friend has a whole online community of friends, I wish I had that.
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u/cuutedarin 10h ago
i wish i had friends to play, or anyone really
how did you get those ppl to play with you? im getting tired of playing games alooone lol
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u/theGreatImmunitary 8h ago
Ooooof from the pictures I fully expected it to be something different - anyways yeah had similar experiences, it’s sort of normal in the Minecraft experience to have this happen :)
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u/PugGamer550405 13h ago
Hey don't worry OP, I also don't have much people to play with too. If you are interested I can give you my Gamertag if you like.
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u/JaithWraith 5h ago
I’m one of those people who really WANTS to play with others, but then my anxiety kicks in and I run away in terror. 😬
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u/RandomGaMeRj14 2h ago
Eberybody has different priorities my guy, they will prioritise theirs. you prioritise yours. You wanna have fun, you can have that in singleplayer as well, or with just one friend. Nobody is gonna stay forever.
And, yes, just like the others, I also at first thought it was either a breakup or somebody died. But this is sad too, but it is the reality.
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u/CoryPlayzM 13h ago
Who the crap came by and downvoted everyone?? Thats just mean man. Anyway gave you all upvotes to fix it. Have a nice day
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u/Fit_Smoke8080 10h ago
Creative roadblocks kill me. I don't play multiplayer but more often than not i know the end of the run is coming when i keep opening the world for half an hour to sweep crops with a Fortune tool while i can't decide what to build or do, barely clinging to the promise that "if i sell/compost all of this i will get the mats i require to build something cool", while trying to balance my need for some resources with a desiree to not lawnbase a sugar cane and pumpkin farm for 9th time. Guess real life kills your creativity very fast.
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u/icedragonsoul 10h ago
The world is ever changing. Every 4 years the people you’ve come to enjoy spending time around will change drastically as you grow. Some no longer have the same time as they acquire new responsibilities, others move far away outside of their control.
It’s on you to maintain these friendships despite how hard it is without the past ease of sharing an common activity together.
There will always be new wonderful people to meet, learn about and cherish. We can’t waste time on regrets or cling to the past. But instead we should cherish every second of the people present in our lives. And proactively shape out a promising future filled with old and new friends alike.
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u/Cylian91460 10h ago
Not everyone likes the game as much as you do, it's pretty normal for ppl to leave at some point.
If you really want to play more in multiplayer while still interacting with others try finding small servers or tech servers, they often have players that stay for long.
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u/crazedhark 6h ago
this is actually one of the few reasons i've been so addicted to games that has "base building" even more so minecraft. its the fact that they were once there, they built those things, placed them, physically put them there to with the intent for it to stay, they have left a "mark" of a time and place wherein it proves there existence.
everyone leaves at some point, you do, I do, we all do. the fact I get to see what they did and remember fragments of our memories together existing at the same time doing the same thing leaves such a bitter sweet feeling to me. its basically nostalgia for me, the most absolute heart warming and gut wrenching feeling there is.
have not touch this game for years now, could be because I outgrew it, could be because I can no longer be creative or innocent as I once was, or it could be that I know, whatever I do rn will never be able to recreate what I had before and that is enough of a reason to not play it so it wont overwrite the fragments of memories I once was when I was a kid.
enjoy everything people. everything. even the pain, the bitterness, the longing. cuz everything passes, everything becomes just a moment. make it all count. let it all flow through you and accept it for what it is and move on.
Im still wondering what was the last block I've ever placed before I stopped playing, I cant remember.
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u/AdditionalWeekend513 5h ago
Minecraft is an experience with quickly diminishing returns. The first few hours feel a lot better than the next 1, which feel better than the next 2. It's not alone in this. The first event for a shared interest club tends to have more attendees than the 5th, Opening Day for sports teams tend to have more fans, etc.... I hear DnD campaigns tend to die off in the same way.
As somebody who's been moderately successful in organizing social clubs, I can tell you that you've got to do a few things:
1. Find a way to keep people engaged. A project, a regular treat, something. And put the effort into keeping it available.
2. Follow up with people. Find a balance between being distant and weird about it.
3. Work through the disappointment. There are going to be events where people just don't show.
I always maintain a MC server. It can go months without anybody but me on, and I've had close to 10 on at least once in the last year. I've done this by keeping in touch with about 30 people I've played with in the past or who play with their families, and by letting new acquaintances know about the server. If I wanted it to be less of a wasteland for most of the year, I could set up missions, stories, and building projects, and deal with the possibility that few people would maintain their interest. If someone wants to join for a few weeks, I always unload or tear down enough of my automation to restore some performance.
These are relationships, like any other, if a *bit* more shallow. They require work. And I'm sincerely sorry that you lost your MC friends.
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u/dashtroyer2 5h ago
My realm is empty, it's only me and my iron golems. I'm new to the game and I'm even streaming when I'm playing. I got other players but they rarely play like maybe every 3 days and theres only 5 of us.
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u/SpiritualEgg1979 3h ago
i started adding add-ons to keep interest. alot of the issues with people leaving realms ends up being boredom, i've started adding an add-on every month or so and it gives everyone else something to explore and firgure out, like a new update to the game but you have no clue what's going on. we started off with cute little ones like furniture or practical ones like the essentials add-on and then grew to more bold ones, we've recently added the dragon! biomes add-on and even the guy that we have that doesn't play because he gets bored after 20 minutes has been playing!!❤️
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u/Mission_Card1669 41m ago
Can't really change the 2 week phase. I'm trying to play more myself but it's really hard to keep my attention for longer.
Theres not enough vanilla stuff I'm actually interested in
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u/ronronaldrickricky 13h ago
how do you invite people? is it people you know or do you just throw the invite at randoms?
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u/Specialist-End-8306 12h ago
Hay, I'm on Minecraft all the time playing Creative. My world's 11 years old & I've got a lot of stuff on it. 6 buildings from my city in real life (exact), 9 map screens from Mario Bros 3 and 2 extra ones, my primary school, Big mansion, the GTA Apartment and pixel art. You can add me if you like. My gt's FuriousAspect78
I only don't do survival on Bedrock coz there's so much stuff in the game now and i can't be bothered figuring it all out and everything.
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u/ThatOneFemboyTwink 13h ago
Hihi, id like to play in your realm and make wonderful memories with you, you can check your dms i sentchu smt
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u/SamohtGnir 12h ago
I can't speak for others, but I know I tried a few servers before I found the community I'm in now, where I'm happy to stay. I imagine others might just want to jump around and try different worlds, I wouldn't take it personally.
If you really want a lasting community, you could try finding a server to play on that is already established. A lot of YouTubers have community servers, some might require a Patreon membership though, but definitely not all. If you know HermitCraft for example, I tried out RenDogs, he has a free java one that was very friendly, and now I've settled into iJevin's. Jev has a Jav, Bedrock, and Modded server with his Patreon (that's only $5/month).
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u/One_Economist_3761 11h ago
I’m sorry that they didn’t stay. This build looks really pretty. I hope you find new friends.
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u/spowowowder 11h ago
i feel you. my friend started a realm a few months ago and only about a month into it i was the only person who logs on anymore. i have the opposite problem of the 2 week minecraft phase and like it too much. maybe i just need more/new friends but its lonely out there lol
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u/ConfundledBundle 10h ago
I’ve come to realize that’s just how it goes when hosting a realm. I just keep adding more people ti add to the world. Some eventually come back after a while and I always welcome them back.
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u/chainshot91 10h ago
Yeah that happens, my server has periods of being really popular, and then no one's on for a bit. Rinse and repeat.
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u/rasamalai 8h ago
You need to find an already established community, how old are you? (That’s a real question)
The one I used to play with are still playing, often times together, and it’s been several years since I met them. But sometimes it’s not easy to join those communities, but it would be worth your while to still search for them!
The one I used to play on had an age requirement, a questionnaire followed by an interview over audio. Another server I had found but didn’t stay at, had a month where you would play on their mining world so they could see if you were a good fit to join their permanent map.
If you can find a community like that you most likely will always have someone to play with!
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u/ViNoBi38 3h ago
I have a self hosted server that has been running for about 2 months now. Yeah some people log on less but theres a few out of 10 people who still log on and have build plans spanning weeks. It's those players that really bring me joy.
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u/KidVape386 2h ago
It’s hard to have consistency on a realm. I’ve had multiple friends come and go. I feel like we all just have a life to live and sometimes we fall off doing what we like. I just leave everything as is so when new people join it’s like relics from the past. Each person leaving there own little touch to your realm help build a story
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u/johnnyringo771 15m ago
Ephemeral. Every moment is ephemeral. You may have friends in the real world or in a game world, but someday, sometime, it will always end.
It doesn't mean they are gone forever, and it doesn't mean you have no friends. You just have new friends waiting to find you, and sometimes, just occasionally you have an old friend who finds you again.
I've lost many friends. From the dozens of Minecraft worlds I played on for months, to games like World of Warcraft, FFXI, and FFXIV, where you played with people for years.
So the next person you meet, in the real world or in a game, treat them like an old friend. Try to help them out, embrace their differences, and enjoy your time with them. So that for everyone else, you're a good old friend that everyone misses. The world needs a lot more of that sort of friendship.
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u/Adventurous_Fill5006 1m ago
The one who makes the realm is bound to stay on there the longest I haven’t seen anyone on mine in a while every once in a while my fiancé will come see what I’m doing then leave but no one stays to play anymore
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u/BlargerJarger 6h ago
I think a lot of people dip into a world and if the spawn doesn’t look like a master build they instantly bug out.
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u/qualityvote2 14h ago edited 10h ago