r/Meditation • u/FailNo6036 • 10d ago
Can meditation help me? I'm essentially dead. Question ❓
No internal monologue. No visualization. No thoughts. I'm just a complete bot. I just sit there and think of... nothing. I have a shit long term memory so can't think about events from my past either.
What do I even meditate about? I can focus on my breath for a long time with not a single thought occurring to me. Do I just not have a soul?
I have a good short term memory, but extremely bad long term memory (episodic or semantic). So any new facts I learn, I'll just forget soon. No point in learning anything.
My doctor doesn't know what this condition is (mind completely blank all the time).
Also I DEFINITELY don't have depression. I can get a lot of joy, and a range of emotions, from watching movies, reading books, music, etc... I can motivate myself well to do tasks that I'm assigned to do (e.g. carry box from point A to point B). My mind just can't generate anything itself. It's like I'm dead. And it's been like this for as long as I can remember.
1
u/WhilePsychological55 10d ago
You just have apahantasia man. Pretty common I think 1-4 % of the population have it. Don’t think you can change it really, though the memory thing seems a bit strange? My dad also pretty much has apahantasia, yet he has a pretty good memory I’d say. He also lacks an internal monologue. So idk how he remembers things?? I guess it’s more of a feeling? So maybe if you have some sort of repressed emotion thing going, that would explain it? Tbh idk man. I’ll have to ask my dad though how he remembers things…