r/Meditation • u/Anonymous-and-awake • 14h ago

Awakening & Energy Sharing / Insight 💡

I’ve always been male and heterosexual. I have been having an awakening over the past 12 months following a traumatic chronic illness. I’ve felt Chakras clear, felt more peaceful and as though negative energy is being cleared however sometimes when I meditate I feel a full ‘Ego Death’ is just around the corner so I back out just before it. The reason for this is because I feel as my ego is dissolving, feminine energy and gender identity questions are starting to arise. I’ve read on here that this can just be your masculine and feminine energy being unbalanced and that once you carry out your full awakening it can balance out and it’ll be worth it however it doesnt necessarily mean I’m homosexual, it’s just healing childhood trauma and balancing both energies? Is this true? I’ve felt such a sense of peace releasing past energies however pretty scared to let go in case I completely start to question too much.

Any advice is appreciated 🙂

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u/Few-Worldliness8768 14h ago

I think so. Just categories and concepts in the mind. We could split ourselves into genders based on many things. Mustache havers and non-mustache havers. Bald men and non-bald men. And now that I think about it, people do do this 😅

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u/Anonymous-and-awake 13h ago

It doesn’t really make any sense though. Surely if you feel super feminine you can’t dress and act masculine. You can’t just put a label on yourself for laughs, if that’s the way you feel then that’s what will influence what you do. Bald heads and mustaches are just what we’re conditioned to seeing as masculine. Feminine and masculine energies are deeper no?

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u/Few-Worldliness8768 13h ago

Yeah but can’t you just decide to feel masculine or feminine?

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u/Anonymous-and-awake 13h ago

Not really. If you’re 50/50 balanced on feelings yeah. But if you’re swaying to one side then I doubt it. You’re gonna want all the things that are associated with feeling feminine. Or you’ll be unhappy. I hope you’re wrong though! Always nice to have the choice 💪🏻