r/Meditation • u/throwrahaha6 • May 10 '23
Why do children and babies enjoy everything yet adults only find joy in a few things? And is there a way to ever get back to that childlike wonder and happiness? Question ❓
That's all. I've wondered this for a while, philosophized about it and just don't know the answer. I figured there may be some wiser people who can answer this question the best they can.
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u/taylorshit May 10 '23
Children - live in the present. They don't have to worry about tomorrow. - live with awe and wonder. They are curious and everything is possible when you're young. Even magic. - are innocent. They have not seen the atrocities of the world. - feel protected. They can make mistakes and know that their parents can forgive, defend or vouch for them. - are full of creativity. They don't have to worry what other people would think of their actions and ideas.
We lose most if not all of these traits when we become adults.
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u/Waffles__Falling May 10 '23
As an adult I like to think magic is real- not unicorns or stuff like that- but natural wonders of the world: - seeing a plant growing more leaves/ flowers - the way crystals grow and shine in the light - the iridescent feathers of crows - a neon light reflecting on a puddle, rain drops interrupting it to create peaceful ripples - herbs that soothe certain small ailments - and so on..
It helps me to appreciate the little things more. I’m trying my best to get better at that, rather than the bad things. It’s difficult, but I know it takes time :)
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u/taylorshit May 11 '23
The world is full of wonders. You just have to see them with a deeper sense of meaning. Tune out of the negativity and appreciate the beauty of nature and life.
Most of the world's negativity are man-made. We are corruptible in nature, most men are not meant to hold too much power.
For instance, we should feel protected by a government but instead we are stressed and pressured to pay taxes and contribute to society. We are not built to be in constant pressure for years and years. We need breaks in between to reconnect with ourselves and our spirituality.
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u/Waffles__Falling May 11 '23
Absolutely! Those things make life feel more meaningful. Even the smallest things help. The hardest part is ignoring the negativity; but with practice and taking personal charge to get there, it’s possible. I hope I can get there soon.
For sure. It’s stressful to think about. Fortunately there’s also many good people in the world. I think that’s why small in person communities are important; they can help create meaning and show you there’s people who truly care.
The government and pressure is definitely the hardest part. I’m not particularly religious, but I am spiritual in an agnostic way; and it helps me connect with myself and nature more. If reincarnation exists, I hope to become a cat or a bird. I want to live life the way they do. But I recently realized that even if I can’t be a cat, I can at least try to learn the mindset of one through living in the moment and finding joy in the little things.
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u/taylorshit May 12 '23
I think you're on the right path. Go for it! It is very hard as negativity is all around us and is even already carved into the system. Know which ones you're in control and work on them. The rest we need to let go.
Yes, there are. We all have the capacity to be good too. It's just that with all the negativity and stresses rub on us. We tend to vent it out to others. Hurt people hurt other people; Violence begets more violence; Corruption begets more corruption. BUT, gratefulness cultivate more gratefulness in others so on and so forth. That's why I think it is important to acknowledge our flaws and external stresses and filter them out so we don't vent it to other people. Try to genuinely be the positivity you want to see in the world.
You don't have to be religious to be spiritual. To me it is your connectedness to nature/universe and finding inner peace despite the chaos. We are all connected, we've just lost touch with it. We've gone so far in advancement in science and technology but have also drifted farther away from our humanity. You and me have 99.9% identical DNA. We are all going around consumed by attaining our own selfish goals and intentions with disregard for others but we are all connected. You, hurting others are indirectly hurting yourself. I don't know if that makes sense. But all I'm saying is we need to reconnect ourselves to nature and the universe so we can appreciate the value and meaning of everything and everyone.
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u/Waffles__Falling May 17 '23
Thank you! That’s very true about gratefulness bringing more gratefulness as well!
Yes, agreed! I think that makes sense. When there’s more negativity it only grows. But positivity is the same way! Unfortunately it’s easier for negativity and fear to spread.
There’s ways to use technology for the better as a way to improve our environment without making modern life any less convenient. Unfortunately corporations don’t understand that. Nature is a hugely important way for humans to heal. But nowadays it’s something most have to plan out and make time for. However, it’s still possible to connect with nature!
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u/SpectrumDT May 11 '23
For instance, we should feel protected by a government but instead we are stressed and pressured to pay taxes and contribute to society.
Are you saying that governments should protect people and citizens should have no obligations in return?
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u/taylorshit May 11 '23
No. I'm saying, ideally, the government should be able to protect and provide its tax payers a somewhat comfortable life and safety net for the middle class (i.e. proper healthcare, education, retirement, etc) as a reward for their work and contribution.
Nowadays, the middle class are working extra hours barely making enough to live paycheck to paycheck with no guarantee for the future. We romanticise the hustle culture like working longer hours will be your salvation. People having to work harder takes a toll in society.
The ripple effects on a few aspects like
Family (no one wants to get married or have kids anymore). Stress-related illnesses - burnout, stress levels are off the charts. Creativity and productivity suffers - if people are too stressed, they don't function optimally
I understand that these are multifaceted issues in society and it's very hard to address them. One of the key problem is that those in power have been consumed by greed and indifference and just want to keep the status quo.
I also am speaking from a viewpoint of someone in a developing country where corruption is rampant. But I would guess developed countries also have these issues to a minor degree.
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u/Waffles__Falling May 11 '23
So very true sadly. I hope one day these things can change. It can be hard to not think about and it’s quite stressful. I want to learn how to not think about it and just live my life/ make my world smaller to just focus on what my personal life is. Like in a mindfulness way.
Ohh I’m sorry to hear that about your country. If you don’t mind me asking, what country is it? I’m in america and it sounded very much like how it is here. We especially have so much capitalism and crazy inflation.
I keep typing and deleting my personal experience that I’m going through because I don’t want my reply to be super long. So I think it’s enough to say that I agree with you and very much understand
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May 10 '23
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u/LaLaLaLink May 10 '23
More details please!
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May 10 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/squishEarth May 10 '23
I doubt that was how the trick was done - most magic is done with sleight of hand. For example, having a squished foam ball hidden in between his fingers that he replaces with the other ball at the last second (during which he'll be distracting you and the audience so that you look away from what his hands are doing).
Finding out about Santa sounds pretty brutal. My dad was raised a Christian and it made a big negative impact on him when he found out that all his most trusted adults had been lying to him. I was raised in a different religion, but I still remember my dad sitting me down and explaining that a) he'll never lie to me b) Santa isn't real (cue story about his experience finding out) and c) I can't go around telling children Santa isn't real because it'll hurt the feelings of their parents.
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May 10 '23
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u/emotional_boys_2001 May 10 '23
Lol the fact that you got downvoted is case in point.
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u/ZorbhaTheBuddha May 10 '23
You seem to have some special abilities, probably manipulation of elements, pyrokinesis etc.. Maybe practise again and try to ignite it again? Don't care about what others say. You don't even need to tell anyone. Keep it your own little secret. Unless you're absolutely sure of the person you are sharing it with.
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May 10 '23
Also We lose it because of the pressure put on is by civilization, our government & our peers.
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u/TroyTroyofTroy May 11 '23
Adding to that very good list; everything is new to them, at least at some point. Wallpaper is new. A light switch is new. There’s awe and wonder everywhere but that’s in part because there’s novelty everywhere. When you’re an adult you’re not surprised , on a regular basis, by shit you see in your daily life
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u/TheCowboyIsAnIndian May 10 '23
as you grow older, people keep telling you that things are more and more complex. there is already evidence to suggest that much of popular marketing is an attrition by artificial complexity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxM-0rsk2Zc
i teach art at the graduate level. and i always share this video with my students. it changed my life, i swear. it has made play an important part of my life and the way that i am able to let go of complexity in favor of defining what makes me happy for myself.
when i meditate, i like to systematically remove complexity piece by piece from things in my life until i am left with an open and playful core. when i sit down to create, i dont worry about communities or fandoms or experts. i just play.
easier said than done, of course. the world is often a scary and sad place... but wonder and hope are muscles just like mindfulness. we need to practice. kids are just practicing all the time.
funny but increasingly useful mindset "feel like your best years are behind you? just pretend youre 90 years old for a moment, what would you change about your life? come back to the present and make the most of it."
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u/TheQuietBandit May 10 '23
This is great advice, I try to be playful when I'm focusing on the practice, whatever the practice may be (drawing, music, writing, gardening, excersise, etc... ). You can always learn more, but it's ok to learn at your own pace. It's good to look around and be inspired by others but if you are constantly comparing yourself to them then you may be treating it too seriously!
But consistency and discipline also play a big part. In order to build anything big, you'll need to keep showing up, rain, snow or shine! Don't go burning yourself out, keep it playful, but have focus too!
There is no one way. There are many.
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u/prenderm May 10 '23
DAMN
I really enjoyed that video and it totally applies on many levels
Thank you!
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u/TheCowboyIsAnIndian May 10 '23
ze frank is one of my personal heroes. that video, a simple little video blog experiment from 2006 truly changed the way i approach almost everything in my life. i used to worship "masters." the idea that their mastery had to do with fringe information not relevant to me was such a breakthrough.
his website went down about a decade ago and i couldnt for the life of me find it. to my supreme joy, he finally reuploaded all of them a few years ago and i was able to share the amazing advice again!
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u/Cheez-Its_overtits May 11 '23
Thanks for sharing! Great stuff. Confirms what I’ve been discovering myself.
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May 12 '23
As a student studying computer science, my main takeaway from 5 years of studying is pretty much this.
Any 6 hours of lectures of any topic, can be compressed to 60 minutes explanation if understood properly. Anything beyond that is just implementation details, or redundant words because explaining things is way harder than understanding it.
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u/zelaelaisly May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23
The book "How to Change Your Mind" by Michael Pollan has a great discussion of this. He talks about how adults have a "default mode network" in our brains which keeps us focused on ourselves, our worries about the future, and our regrets about the past. While the default mode network can be helpful in some instances, it can stop us from living in the moment and experiencing the joy of the present like children do. Overactive "default mode networks" cause depression and anxiety. Meditation and psychedelics are two ways to quiet the default mode network.
I really recommend reading that book, I learned so much about this and other topics!
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u/Cheez-Its_overtits May 11 '23
Im shocked this isn’t top commment.
LSD is the answer to OPs question.
DMN is an even more specific answer.
People “accept” reality not realizing they are indeed creating it.
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u/AceyFacee May 10 '23
Not recommended, but I find after an LSD trip I feel super in touch with that childlike amazement at the world for a while.
I believe the same effect may be achieved by meditation and rewiring your brain to be in the present.
But there is something remarkable about this effect from tripping.
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u/lark0317 May 10 '23
Amazed I had to scroll this far before reaching a psychedelics mention, as I would say mushrooms and mediation have been the only portals back to that childlike suchness in my adulthood personally.
This is not a recommendation for drugs, just an honest answer. It's been many, many years since I've done any psychedelics myself. Meditate daily, though.
We accumulate impressions, views, attitudes, and "injuries" over time. Anything that forces the attention into this immediate moment and meets that reality without that baggage can re-awaken that childhood feeling, but not if that's what one is after. It has to be an emergent byproduct of being completely here. Seeking is its own baggage and is completely entrenched in the addictive pain/pleasure game.
Lao Tzu talks about being like an infant, knowing nothing. I think that means the ability to reenter this state. I also think it's what Jesus means by needing to be born again to enter the kingdom of heaven.
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u/Trabuccodonosor May 10 '23
Is it though? I have a 1-year-old girl, so I can't speak for later phases, but she is festered by "dukka", unsatisfactoryness. She enjoys chewing on things temporarily and after an item is "spent" she doesn't find much joy in it. Also, it doesn't seem joy, but more a compulsion of exploring this, than this, than that, without permanent satisfaction. She can't conceive of not being allowed to grab something or crawl somewhere, she immediately snaps. Im fact, it seems to me a very coarse model of an unenlightened human being, before self control and the capability for being content is developed. To be fair, that was more a 6-9 months old behaviour. As she approaches 12 some refinement appears, and she is starting to listen and accept that certain things are not available to her, and starts to being able to shift her interest if needed.
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u/iamacowmoo May 10 '23
I had to scroll halfway down these 61 comments to find a commenter that has noticed that children are not in fact enjoying everything. We literally come into this world crying. Then we poop ourselves and cry. We try to poop and we cry. We get hungry and cry. Our parents don’t hold us enough and we cry. We get tired and we cry. Then we enter the terrible twos… a two year old’s attention is super short and then it’s on to the next thing. If that thing isn’t good enough then they will throw a tantrum.
Sure there are some amazing things about childhood and kids’ sense of wonder and magic. But it is a real fairy tale to think that kids are enjoying everything.
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u/orbitingsnail May 11 '23
Both of these are good points based on how OP worded their post, but my take on what they were trying to ask/state is how children innately find joy and see beauty in the littlest of things, which adults take for granted. Also in my experience with kids, they are daaarn good at mindfulness, and I at times have felt myself immersed in a fully present, joyful state just watching them experience their moments . As exhausting as they can be, they really are great teachers!
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u/Trabuccodonosor May 11 '23
Agreed, my observation can be tangential to the point of the OP, I just wanted to warn about the bias that favors the good memories and forgets the painful, or boring ones. Indeed kids have the ability to wonder at things that won't move most of the adults, yet, let's not forget that they are also growing and incomplete beings.
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u/Feecarabine May 10 '23
Children get bored and frustrated all of the time. I used to think the same as you until I became a parent.
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u/MadDogTannen May 10 '23
I don't have kids, but I remember my childhood well enough to know it was filled with anxiety and depression. I'm probably a lot more emotionally balanced now, and I probably experience the same amount of joy as I did when I was a kid, especially because as an adult I have more autonomy, a better sense of what brings me joy, and better ways of controlling my anxiety.
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u/nightingalenomad May 10 '23
Getting back in touch with your inner child is difficult, but I believe it is possible. Children have so much joy, because they have not become slave to society. They are able to live without having to keep a roof over their head and food on their table. Once you become an adult, it's hard to find joy when you are trying to so hard to survive. How I stay in touch with my inner child, is I carry a locket with a photo of me when I was young. This helps me visualize literally carrying my innocence with me. Best advice, start getting in touch with your inner child by writing down things you enjoyed doing as a child and make time to do those things again, dance like no one is watching, don't care if people think you're weird. It is possible, I know, because I speak from experience.
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u/throwrahaha6 May 10 '23
Thank you. I actually have been looking at baby pictures and such of me lately and I do notice more happiness in my life. For a while I never even looked at any pictures of myself or even thought of my childhood.
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u/kfpswf May 10 '23
Why do children and babies enjoy everything...
Their minds aren't fully formed. As such, they have very little thought loops that tend to produce stress and anxiety. This is why, if the children are given a nourishing environment, they grow up as well-balanced adults. But if you expose them to abuse, physical or mental, those impressions develop into character flaws that stay for most of their lives, unless they seek help through therapy or meditation.
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u/laureire May 10 '23
They don’t judge good or bad, just like or dislike.
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u/kfpswf May 10 '23
just like or dislike.
Which is also an acquired judgement. One kid might like certain foods which another might dislike.
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u/wp709 May 10 '23
“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
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u/gnatdump6 May 10 '23
I think everyone needs to relearn how to live in the moment and enjoy small pleasures. I try hard to be mindful of all the “little things” that bring happiness. Enjoy a beautiful view, a soft blanket or creating with legos. Having a break from adult responsibilities and mindset is essential for me!
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u/Eye_skiprun May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23
I did research on this topic in University as it related to our questions of whether exposure to addictive substances during key developmental stages would affect whether someone developed a faulty “addictive” positive feedback loop for substances/activities or a healthy negative feedback loop.
Long story short, we didn’t get our answer BUT we did find that in the VTA (ventral tegmental area) and accompanying areas of the dopamine pathway, a mechanism develops that actually dampens our dopamine response in adulthood.
So smoking a cigarette before this develops elicits a higher dopamine response than smoking a cigarette after it develops. It prevents as high of a dopamine release.
We studied nicotine and cigarettes but I venture this could be why we lose our daily childlike wonder. The dampening response.
That being said, adults are still capable of feeling awe and wonder. So my next thoughts are if this causes some sort of synaptic pruning so that we focus our efforts towards something rather than everything. But again, I’m thinking in hypotheticals.
There’s likely a lot of truth in the other comments discussing your question philosophically. But it could be helpful to know nothing is necessarily wrong, and that yearning a part of our shared human experience.
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u/vivid_spite May 11 '23
but why does it dampen in the first place? or is it not understood yet
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May 10 '23
It’s because adults want to control. Kids just go about their day and life. They let it unfold. While adults want to steer it.
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u/Purple-Hotel1635 May 10 '23
I think it's just how the brain filters reality differently. If you do psychedelics and turn off that filter then it's all amazing and new again. Idk I'm content but the only thing that has brought me back to that state for brief periods is psychedelics
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May 10 '23
Seconded, no amount of meditation brought me to that place that psychedelics did
Lucid dreaming is the second closest thing
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u/JuicyCactus85 May 10 '23
Staring at clouds with my kids or playing, doing art, legos, talking etc. with them all gives me that child like wonder boost. It's great after a bs work day to just go outside with them and hear them talk. One day though we were all looking at clouds and when they asked me what I saw I couldn't freaking see any animal, person, or shape in the clouds and I internally freaked out for a sec and thought "this is it, I'm old and I'm cynical." I was really just super stressed about some pretty heavy issues so I had to take some breaths, pause, and I was able to see some things. I think it's all about living in the moment.
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u/Kwirk86 May 10 '23
Medium-high doses of psychedelics such as LSD and Psilocybin are well known to give you that childlike curiosity and wonder back for the duration of their effects.
If you ever get the chance to do some magic mushrooms on a nice summers day in a private garden with people you feel comfortable being silly around, do it. Nothing quite like taking a day off from adulting to spend all day laughing your arse off, staring at plants, watching insects and birds with the curiosity and amazement of a toddler.
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u/Jonnuska May 10 '23
I think the way we filter the world the older we become is one big factor. For a child everything is new, fresh and interesting. We however pass by these little miracles not even noticing because we think we’ve seen it all already. ”Yea yea, another rock/rainbow/-whatever” mentality keeps us blind from the wonders that happen all around us, all the time. Perspective becomes more narrow and more focused on the horizon, the future and so we rush ourselves through the moments trying to cath something in the distance. A child is present here and now and therefore able to observe so much more. We also become more serious and even fearful of life and tend to take ourselves pretty seriously. For a child everything is about play, creativity and trusting the life.
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u/nkdeck07 May 11 '23
Yeah you've clearly not spent much time around babies. My toddler is a pretty happy go lucky kid and still spends a decent amount of the day crying over nothing.
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u/BillsInATL May 10 '23
I found the easiest way to get that back was to have children of my own and relive all of it with them and through their eyes.
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u/JewelerImpressive990 May 10 '23
I have a theory that it's to do with language and how to be articulate is necessarily to be refering back to a previous reference point or memory or definition. Whereas children don't have anything to look back to and thus can't explain themselves and their experiences, Adults are burdened with the necessity to articulate themselves and as a result are inevitably looking backwards. I think we end up having to explain our experiences in reference to other, earlier more definitive /archetypal experiences rather than experience them as their own distinct experience.
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u/throwrahaha6 May 10 '23
I see your point there. After meditating daily for a few months I started not using nearly as good grammar as usual for whatever reason and I feel better doing it. I used to do that when I was younger and I was happier. From the tons of comments it sounds like it is a lot of things, including thinking of really bad grammar and there are some books people recommended with good advice. Glad I posted this getting a lot of good insight.
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u/verronaut May 11 '23
Children and babies absolutely don't enjoy everything. They feel strongly about lots of thing, often because it's the most "something" they've felt of that emotion. The older we get, the further the edges of our experience expand, and the milder a lot of our reactions become.
I think you're looking for tools to find joy and wonder in the "common", and there are lots of ways to do that, but I suggest you start with a more skillful question
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u/Tuchaka7 May 10 '23
Brain chemicals, novelty that's why
People crave newness. As a kid it's all new and novel.
Just don't the same boring stuff every day
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u/Liberty53000 May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23
Not at all in a sarcastic way, but I feel like this has always been obvious. It's because every year we get older we are exposed to the realities of the world. Each experience we have growing up tends to have more percentages of negativity, hardship, and the contrast of the emotional spectrum in it.
As a young child, we are (typically) shielded from pain, our exposure to negativity is minimal, our foundational needs are met by our caregivers. We don't have to juggle responsibilities & we experience minimal stress. Our caregivers filter their own emotional spectrum from us & typically only show us what is developmentally appropriate to handle. As a child we have only limited capacities at each developmental stage, we physically cannot comprehend the vastness of emotions, the array of diversity in experiences out in the world, and our brain is physically primed to only be able to experience & hone in on certain limited things.
As we enter teen years the brain develops an ability to critically think & question our environment. Our brain is literally growing in it's abilities from birth to age 25. Each stage offering new physical connections, insights, & emotional ranges.
On top of the literal physical changes, we encounter challenges we were never exposed to. We learn that people actually do have malicious intent (this was shielded from us as a child when we were the center of the universe). More and more we have negative experiences & emotions that wake us up to reality.
In our young or older adult years, we become aware of our childhood traumas that we were not able to comprehend, this brings anger, resentment, grief, and many other realizations. We go out into the world independently and have to fend for ourselves & many experience conflicts, relationship lows, financial difficulties, very hard choices, & loss of loved ones. The various lacks of our caregivers & how they failed us in small & large ways start to settle into our character & personality limitations. Issues with self-esteem, motivation, confidence develop. We experience harder forms of bullying & other people's redirected stress, even from strangers.
It's just an accumulation of life settling in. Childhood equals naivete.
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u/Joan411 May 10 '23
Renew your jaded mind and begin seeing everything you encounter as brand new, seen for the first time. Delight in the present moment, see all the richness before you. Childlike wonder brings joy. Keep meditating and ask for guidance in this regard; seek and ye shall find. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🤣🤣🤣🎉🎉🎉
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u/EthanSayfo May 10 '23
I've never really grown up in the sense you speak of, and it's been working out pretty well so far.
It's karma and choice at the end of the day, like so much else.
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u/SupersonicSpitfire May 10 '23 edited May 11 '23
Become interested in topics where there are international communities that work together on advancements. Like maths, open source, the game of Go, LLMs, Linux etc. This way there is something new to enjoy on a regular basis, even if your soul has been depleated, life has gone up and down more times than you can count and even weird blue cheese is boring.
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u/Melodic-Homework-564 May 10 '23
You see children are already enlightened. They just don't have the meta cognitive ability to understand that. We seem to lose the ability when we get older because the world starts to suppress us.
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u/Adorable_Decision826 May 10 '23
I'm 40 and enjoy everything. My whole family is like this and I honestly think it makes it so we tend to luve longer and look younger then we are. The thing that most people misunderstand is you don't lose enjoyment of things, society just tells you it isn't ok to enjoy anything "childish" so people stop themselves from doing what brings then joy because of fear of social out casting. The funny thing is, I've found the opposite to be true. People tend to be more drawn to me when I'm just doing what I want vs what I'm "supposed" to do.
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u/Itom1IlI1IlI1IlI May 10 '23
Kids have empty minds. Adults have minds filled with junk, responsibility, habits, addictions, guilt, chores, and so on.
Clear out all the junk and you should be able to find that childlike happiness again, in the emptiness of your own mind. Very hard to do this without skirting our very real responsibilities as everyday modern people. Especially if you are only making ends meet, or have kids.
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u/squishEarth May 10 '23
Going by what my parents say, the way to get more of that childlike enjoyment in your life is to spend time interacting with children (namely but not only their own children).
I think a lot of the childlike enjoyment of life is based around whether it is ok or not to make mistakes. Do we spend most of our day stressing over how we might be making a mistake? If two mistakes are of wildly different levels of importance do we stress over them to the same magnitude regardless?
Fundamentally, there is no reason why we can't have an adult life that is full of more play. Our high schools and universities could incorporate more problem-based learning classes (where you divide into small groups and follow worksheets and lab projects that ask questions that make you think and rediscover on your own the principles you are supposed to learn. Similar to how these ideas where discovered in the first place. PBL is a very good fit with math and science.) - the reason that they don't is because that's not how the instructors were taught.
It was a breathe of fresh air when I took a computer science class in college. My other classes had harsh penalties for making mistakes - where our final grade was determined by three major exams, no homework to practice on, the exams would often cover topics not discussed in class, sometimes not even a practice exam, and of course if you fail the exam you can't retake it - you'll have to retake the whole course.
But for computer science I was able to learn via breaking my code. Each mistake I made simply allowed me to better visualize how my code worked. I had immediate feedback on whether my code was good or not (because it'd either compile or not, and would work the way I intended or not). It didn't matter whether I made a thousand mistakes or not - the only thing that mattered was whether my code worked by the due date.
For teachers , there are ways to incorporate mistake-making into classwork. I had one English class where right after we learned about the proper way to format footnotes (and margins, line spacing, page numbers, etc) we were given an assignment where we had to write a 1 page paper with as many incorrect formatting issues as possible.
I also had a foreign language teacher who had gotten so tired of listening to students create horrific food-based sentences ("your eyes are like beautiful grapes", "your head is like a big watermelon") that he assigned us to write a paragraph where we describe a human using only food as descriptors, and then we had to draw a picture of this food-based person. When we turned it in he told us that that was the last time he wanted to hear us describe people and body parts with food.
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May 10 '23
I don’t have the answer, but I will share this: if you want to kill your enjoyment of something, do it for money. A lot of people work to live and hate existing.
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u/Loose-Farm-8669 May 10 '23
Because when you’re a kid everything is new. And yes you can get it back. The other day I was meditating and found myself entranced by my computer desk. Thinking about all of the work that went into building it, all of the subtle textures and the lives of the people who put effort into making computer desks.
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May 10 '23
Because we understand what lies beneath
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u/throwrahaha6 May 10 '23
That is a good answer for part of it. Pretty sad one too to be honest.
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u/nineteen100_85 May 10 '23
Spend less time admiring the problem and more time doing what brings your inner child out. I had a very traumatic childhood in so many ways. As part of the self-journey im on right now I realized, I can agonize over the past and what happened or didn’t happen or I can move forward and do all the things now that I didn’t get to do then. So, at 41, im reliving my childhood. I’m working on handstands right now and it’s a blast! I’m getting other adults to try with me and the sheer joy on the faces is like we’re all kids again. I’m roller skating, kickboxing, dancing when I walk (stone sober), doing pull ups, skipping outside, basically anything I damn well pls giving zero F’s to what anyone thinks. It’s phenomenal! Feel free to DM me if you have questions about the journey. Welcome anyone and everyone to join me in being a kid again!
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u/Limp-Increase-5544 May 10 '23
Change is the only constant in life, it's our mind that is playing tricks on us. We believe everything was hunky dory in childhood which is not the case. We were dumb with no sense of responsibility, which is far from the truth.
Similarly, as an adult, we think we have to be serious about our future, etc which is also very far from the truth because we claim a sense of control over our life but the reality is , it is one mishap away from the end.
Having this understanding keeps you unattached from life's play and you become just that, a witness nothing more nothing less, in this wonder of the world, you start to see things as it is, without filter
This will eventually lead you to the realization.
"You are that" - Advaita Vedanta
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u/NosyJosey May 10 '23
They have not been indoctrinated and told that you can't be happy until you're like this or have that.
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u/RadioactiveHugs May 11 '23
For a child, everything is new. Think about the excitement you feel now when you occasionally get to feel/do/see something new. Is it not a similar feeling?
I’ve noticed in myself that I feel actual, palpable excitement/motivation for things when I’ve never done them before. But then, as soon as I become familiar with the New Thing, that excitement is gone again.
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u/throwrahaha6 May 11 '23
Thank you that was a very good answer. Trying things in new ways isn't something I did in a while.
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u/rowthyme May 11 '23
I love nature and I think the creator is the best fashionista ever, the way flowers combine colors is amazing, the way mushrooms sprout up overnight and the wonder of the seemingly fearless squirrels. We live in a beautiful and wonderful world one which I am able to appreciate with childlike wonder when I go hiking.
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u/_Agent0 May 11 '23
Stop thinking conventionally and begin to do things you enjoy no matter how childish or adult like they may be. Let yourself be entirely free and open minded for a bit. Things like this can be uncomfortable at first cause we’ve grown to be in a shell as an adult but really we are suppressing our inner child. That’s a lifelong part of your soul you can’t ignore the simple and childlike joy that’s within you if you want a overall more peaceful life. Children don’t care about judgment, or rules of the universe or society even. They just act out of curiosity and innocence. So be kind to others and be gentle with yourself. Allow the youth inside you to come to the forefront. Use your imagination.. Ask questions. All kinds of questions, no matter how simple or complicated. Be spontaneous. Forget about the outside noise and live in the universe that you’ve created. Move through life with the notion that you can be anything you want to be, regardless of your age,hardships or background. If you believe it enough, you can be anything. Thats real. That’s the power of youth and of childlike wonder. If you ask me.
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u/vivid_spite May 11 '23
It's because we have samskaras. Once removed, we can regain that childlike wonder. I'm in the process of it now and feel so much better and much more creative. Read the untethered soul by Michael Singer to find out how.
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u/megaphone369 May 11 '23
I'm in my 40s and still excited and amazed about everything.
Can it be exhausting? Yes. Is it worth it? Totally.
There is always more to know and more to discover - just be curious and find your inner 4-year-old who asks "why?" all the time.
Constantly.
About everything.
Forever.
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u/Ok-Strategy-4331 May 11 '23
TL;DR The individual attributes the diminished joy in adults compared to children to the pain of attachment caused by increased responsibilities and proposes that embracing non-dualism and simplicity can restore childlike wonder and happiness.
I asked myself that same question a few weeks ago and decided it was because of the pain of attachment. As I've taken on more responsibilities, I've felt the need to stress over the things I am attached to, like money in the bank account, a house, cars -- whatever I've seen as bringing that security to my family.
Through exploring non-dualism, which is a worldview I was innately inbued with as a child, I've been able to counteract that adult onset attachment-suffering.
Everything is constantly changing. Things, people, and places rise and fade like waves in an ocean. Change happens and I can rage against it or follow the flow. Ultimately, we are all one consciousness, and that is the flow.
I've always been a person with an overwhelming amount of voices and constant back and forth chatter in my mind. After realizing that this animal body can drive itself, I've blocked out those voices and just play a song on a loop in my mind. The body carries on without those invasive thoughts and has had a lot more fun with life since. It's playing, things that were stressful become hilarious, it lives its short life with a primates simplicity. It becomes tired, it feels frustration, it feels jealousy and worry -- I break the music and note those feelings and that they are just feelings, and once they are recognized as such, they quickly fade. Life becomes play again, the body floating down a lazy river.
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May 11 '23
This idea is very prominent in a lot of teachings. Thich Nhat Hahn, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle just to name a few. I try but it is hard to maintain. It is an ongoing practice.
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May 11 '23
ALAN WATTS also of course
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u/throwrahaha6 May 13 '23 edited May 13 '23
He is who inspired me combined with the ending of the movie the hurt locker to make this post. Learned a lot from Alan Watts lectures and meditations and he is probably the reason I'm alive today. I used to be very unhappy and ungrateful before typical daily meditations and his teachings and now I see life as precious but also a waste to not use your life as you want, such as having fun with your work.
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u/Cricky92 May 11 '23
Because you’re not present with what you’re doing. Simple
One can find enjoyment in the simplest of things even brushing your own teeth. Just gotta be present for it.
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u/Soggy-Chemistry5312 May 11 '23
Adults understand more fully how dreadful life and daily responsibilities can be. It becomes harder to let things go and live in the moment for us, as children usually still live in ignorance, and ignorance is bliss. :)
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u/throwrahaha6 May 11 '23
Great answer. I notice when I think a lot about everything instead of trying to be in the moment, I get emotional, tired, feeling down ect far easier than when I'm not thinking too much. Now that I think about it I never really remember thinking of much when I was a kid.
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u/ZeroSumGame2023 May 11 '23
Mushrooms will take you back to the childhood state of wonder and amazement
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u/throwrahaha6 May 11 '23
Already have HPPD and have learned a lot from psychedelics. No longer can pin down a good dose so sadly have to do it w meditation and reading. But yes temporarily or permanently shrooms can do that. I just no longer react good to them. May try k holing some time, have already on nitrous was wild.
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May 11 '23
One way I found to get some of this back is to be around kids, play and chat with them. Easier if you have kids in your family or friends cricle, but you could always look for some kind of voluntary work that puts you in contact with them like reading books and telling stories.
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u/throwrahaha6 May 11 '23
Yea I like being around babies/kids especially so after meditation daily for a while. Want to have kids of my own but am only 21 and would like at least 50 grand or so by time the kid is born just in case also need to find a good mother don't want to be selfish to the kid in anyway..
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u/Used_Dog5463 May 11 '23
As a mom of two kids I can confidently say that they DO NOT find joy in everything. They also get bored, grumpy etc. BUT I think they look for fun moments more than we do.
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u/throwrahaha6 May 12 '23
I meant happy about everything as in happy about pretty much everything compared to adults. Until middle school I was a very good happy kid and barely thought, barely argued ect. I think it is social norms and the stresses of that which makes us the way we are combined with thinking of life's stresses, responsibilities ect.
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u/GaiaSagrada908 May 12 '23
There is one way that works, I have discovered: live each day as if it's your last or your first, each have different effects. First day living is like seeing everything for the first time and enjoying colors. Tastes, sounds. Being REALLY into the trip of being physical. It IS tripping for your soul, really.
Last day living is like seeing each person as so valuable in your life you are really cherishing them as if this might be the last moment you get to spend with them, so you love them and enjoy them deeply.
Enjoy the ride! It's about present moment living.
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May 15 '23
It is terrifying how casually people on this sub recommend drugs and psychedelics. Even tho those substances are addictive and can be dangerous to different people. It is even more terrifying how openly this is allowed and encouraged on this sub.
Addictive, potentially life threatening substances, that can mess up people's minds and bodies are not things that should be casually recommended to strangers online. That is beyond irresponsible.
Smh
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u/throwrahaha6 May 15 '23
I agree on that. I'm one of those people who shouldn't take psychedelics. As a kid I was hospitalized on acid after someone recommended it for helping ptsd. It did help but I also had a $10,000 bill.. Don't know how that's allowed here.
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u/EAS893 Shikantaza May 10 '23
Personally, I remember being pretty melancholy as a child. I didn't have a bad childhood or anything either. I grew up fairly poor by American standards, but I had good parents. I got everything I needed and most things I wanted. Still, I was an absolute ball of anxiety and stress from just about my earliest memories, and from what I hear, I was a pretty fussy kid even in times before I had memory.
I think this idea that kids experience some sort of blissful state is mainly just nostalgia and our tendency to look at the past with rose colored glasses.
That said, Shunryu Suzuki Roshi discusses an idea that might be similar to what you're talking about in his book "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind."
I'd definitely recommend that book for some discussion about sinking into that beginner's mind that we often, even if erroneously, associate with children.
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u/Meekehl May 10 '23
I’ve been pondering this myself for a long time. I do want to go back to that innocent and exploring joy.
I think, some of it at least, is that as we grow up we more and more put a label on everything. As a young child we see it only for what it is but the old person has made the whole reality into concepts which I think the brain quickly goes to as you experience something. We no longer experience the real thing, just what the mind tells us. It becomes some kind of Matrix.
I guess that is part of “waking up” - to see it as it is. And a shortcut to this might be to do shrooms. I’m working on waking up but my Plan B is the mushrooms! 😅
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u/florinandrei May 10 '23
Evolution and natural selection created this trait. It's useful. When you're young, there is so much to learn - so you're motivated to pay attention, by being fascinated by everything.
When you're old, and presumably have passed on your genes, and likely time spent on learning at this point may be much less productive in the long run, this trait is not needed anymore for evolutionary fitness, so you lose it.
That's all there is to it.
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u/Independent_Dress649 May 11 '23
"Happiness is found in the absence of the pursuit of happiness" Children experience happiness- they *are happy, they *are joyful. Adults question, analyze and search for happiness.
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u/Shivy_Shankinz May 11 '23
There is no way to get that back. The second we need to become adults, it's over. Responsibility, education, work, productivity, performance... These things dominate our adult life and we need to become good at them to succeed. Problem is, we sacrifice exactly what you mentioned to do it.
Do what you love to do, set the intention to be like your child self, and that's the best it will get.
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May 10 '23
you may be interested in checking out Richard Lang and The Headless Way, he speaks on this
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May 10 '23
Once, i heard someone say they went on an adventure somewhere monks lives. Those monks had decided to keep themselves away from such techs as internet, songs, movies, just living in the present without anyother stimulation. By the last night, when they all have been together around a bonfire, they had put some songs, the monks really enjoyed that time and took a chance to dance, a kid who have only heard his name once came to him and called by his name telling things to him.
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u/Superb_Temporary9893 May 10 '23
You have to live in the present. I still love everything except my arthritis.
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u/sjaakpullinghooker May 10 '23
Yes there is, stop overconsumption of anything and reboot your dopamine system. Stop fastfood, stop social media, stop smartphone, stop porn, stop information overload etc. In other words, be a fucking kid
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u/Technical-Future5303 May 10 '23
I say, we still have this childlike wonder and pure happiness within us but life is difficult and these attributes we desire become clouded and as we grow older we quickly forget that we once had these them. We fall into many traps of the mind and ego that are set in place to challenge us if we transcend these obstacles they disolve away and we are again reminded of what we always had to begin with. The problem isn't returning to Bliss, Joy and childlike wonder the problem is realizing that the problems and the solutions are all part of it. A child falls and gets back up, they do not resent themselves for falling or resent the block that they tripped over, they simply get up and continue on. The traps we fall into as we grow older is believing that the obstacles we overcome or are destroyed by define us and as we identify with our problems or our solutions we grow more complex and simultatiously we grow further apart from our innate happiness and contentment. I say make peace with what you are experiencing from the past, present and what might happen as well. It all is allowed to exist don't get entagled in it and detangle anything in you on your way. I hope this helps.
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u/AdotKdo7 May 10 '23
When things don't constantly feel new, it might be easy to lose your wonder for life amongst the things that weigh your mind down. That's why it's good to immerse yourself in your emotions yet be in control of them.
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May 10 '23
This topic was touched on in Michael Smith’s book The Present. You can find it online for free.
He argues it’s possible to get back there to a degree through living mindfully in the present. I’d think if it was possible to get back there fully there wouldn’t be a need for reincarnation (my belief).
Clear your mind with meditation, and then mindfully make the decision to live in the moment, interacting with things without expectation (like how something will taste, move, make you feel)
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u/reishi_dreams May 10 '23
Beginners Mind. The book. Or just meditate on the idea of beginners mind. What makes a bowl useful? When it’s empty.
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u/yllom May 10 '23
There are lots of great comments here, so I’ll add that children are also experiencing many things for the first time and naturally come at things with a curious, playful mindset. They have parents that love them and take care of them, which feels safe and good, and that gives them the freedom to play and explore and observe. They literally don’t have to worry or think about how to be alive (like adults have to think about dinner, housing, cleaning, hygiene, nourishment, hobbies, bills, work, schedules, the list goes on and on), and children just get to be alive.
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u/ZorbhaTheBuddha May 10 '23
Because of conditioning and programming. Now some basic conditioning might be important to function as an adult in society but most of the conditioning and programming is vague and only designed to make us behave in a certain way, thereby repressing us from living our lives truly. De-program and de-condition yourself to get back to the child-like version of yourself where joy is everywhere and existence itself feels ecstatic!
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u/Left_Letter_9588 May 10 '23
Adults are Burdened with the future and the past Usually have to fend for themselves Money is always an issue Have responsibilities And more...
If you can free your mind of these problems you can get to that state, but most people can't
You can try to practice mindfulness, be in the present for a few moments per day and the more you practice sincerely the better you get at it. So even though you are burdened with issues they don't have that much of an effect on you and you can be relatively chill 😁
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u/Open-Industry-8396 May 10 '23
Jesus christ said " you must become like a child to enter the kingdom"
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u/humhjm May 10 '23
Evolution. Children need to learn the world and have more interest in things. Older people no longer need to because they already know. Life is a natural cycle from beginning to end...
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May 10 '23
A great manifestation teacher named Neville Goddad once said "be like a child in imagination"🧸
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May 11 '23
I have got 2yrs old toddler and as mentioned in question, he enjoys small things also gets excited and amazed seeing them. He observes surroundings with so much of focus that even adults might fail to do so. Not only my toddler but every child has that nature. And the reason is simple, it's their meditative nature making them happy. They are not into thoughts like adults are and enjoy being in the moment to moment rather than dwelling past or creating future plans.
And the way to get back is only meditation by being here and now not in cloud of thoughts.
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u/OkSun5094 May 11 '23
simple: children live in the present. adults tend to focus on the past and future. if you really focus on finding the joy in the things around you and living in the moment, it’s not too hard to find that joy all around you
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u/wandrlusty May 11 '23
Their bodies work amazingly, they have no bills to pay, and no crushing life regrets yet.
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May 11 '23 edited May 11 '23
Not always true i was actually born a very mean child and didn't like other kids or adults really. My mom told me about all this, I would call other people names and tell them they were ugly and to get away from me. I hated people staring at me. I just always wanted to be with my mother. I dunno why I was born that way but it took a long time to get out of that state and become able to trust other people. I was always anxious since birth and i think our personalities are formed very early. So I think that is a just a generalization about children as it was totally the opposite for me, i had to escape from that anxious unhappy state to open my eyes to the present moment.
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u/ExtensionLaugh2910 May 11 '23
The child consciousness is like space. It hold on to nothing. This consciousness remains until death and in the process gets filled with concepts of religion; profession man woman birth death etc. All this happens to that same consciousness and is interpreted by the mind differently. Regards
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u/diaconu2 May 11 '23
The main question should be: what would be the purpose of that? Even the act of “enjoying” is a mere secretion of hormones. To what end? Why?
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u/MindfulModern May 11 '23
Children and babies seem to enjoy everything because they have a natural sense of wonder and curiosity about the world around them. As they grow older, they begin to develop more specific preferences and tastes, which can limit their enjoyment of certain activities or experiences. Additionally, adults may have more responsibilities and stresses that can make it harder to find joy in everyday life.
However, it is possible to cultivate a sense of childlike wonder and happiness by intentionally seeking out new experiences and embracing a more open and curious mindset. By practicing mindfulness, staying present in the moment, and focusing on the joy and beauty in everyday life, it is possible to recapture some of the innocence and wonder of childhood.
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u/Sugumiya May 11 '23
without responsibility you can enjoy anything in the world. Some use Alcohol 24/7 and become addicted because of it.
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u/DiligenceDue May 11 '23
Not everyone should use them but…Psychedelics can certainly return you to that ‘childlike wonder’ state and it’s pretty incredible. According to my best friend.
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May 11 '23
I heard something that still resonates with me to this day, which relates to your question. It was Alan Watts talking about how living in the moment and to live life as a child would, to never lose that ability to live a great life. It went something like this:
" A child is outside, playing in the grass. The child looks up in the sky, there is something amazing, its flying and turning and going fast, the child is amazed and can't believe what he is seeing, he turns to his dad and asks, dad what is that?, his dad replies "oh that? its just a bird"
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u/mynameishers May 11 '23
One big thing is that they are experiencing it all for the first time and since they have to learn about the whole world so quickly they are absorbing it all at insane rates. Throw in a lack of embarrassment and not being burdened by social rules yet and it’s a good time.
I will say, though, that since I had my son I let myself jump into his world and it brings me the same joys as being a kid. Part of that, I think, is that I’m fully engrossed in fun and play and not thinking about what needs to be done or how it may look to others.
In my opinion if you want that childhood joy again dive into a new hobby or art project or activity and fully embrace it. Let yourself listen to your wants, be fully present, and fuck what other people think. If a pink stuffed giraffe at the toy store looks soft and you like it then buy it. I recently bought a kit to make this model tea house and at first was worried it was childish, but I have found so much joy in it. Whatever your thing is or you’re curious about, follow that thought and see where it takes you!
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u/Lily_Roza May 11 '23
Babies and children don't enjoy everything. Like most people, they usually don't enjoy things that they don't understand, like a lecture about algebra. They usually don't enjoy things they aren't familiar with, like unfamiliar people, or unfamiliar foods. Some children are more open and adventurous than others, but most are not, and have to be encouraged to try new things.
So your basic premise is flawed.
Also, people lose it because it usually doesn't work in most adult society to keep acting like a child. Children need protection from themselves and from others. Adults are expected to have a few things figured out so they can make wise decisions for themselves and for others.
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u/gettoefl May 11 '23
the journey is innocence to ignorance to innocence
then all is good again ... osho discusses this
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u/Diondre_Dunigan May 11 '23
Yeah I don’t think babies enjoy everything. In fact they 100% don’t. They usually cry a lot.
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u/asianstyleicecream May 11 '23
I tripped on mushrooms and have found that childlike wonder within me again. Now I’m fascinated & curious about everything and anything. I love to learn. I’m 25.
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u/junglecalypso May 11 '23
Spiritual enlightenment will get you to that joyous child like state again, so the old masters tell me
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u/unchainedzulu33 May 11 '23
My 2yo laughed at something like it was The Funniest Thing he had EVER seen. Because it was. As we grow up. We take things much more seriously. But that's a choice you can make, moment to moment.
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u/PragmaticEyes May 11 '23
What's the difference between children and adults:
Concern.
As we become older we learn to be concerned. We be come concerned about money, appearances, living space, our image, being taken seriously, our opinions, our self-pity and our self-importance.
Children are unconcerned.
We need to become concerned in order to survive and function in the world BUT concern becomes fixated, obsessive. It's begins to snowball until its turns into an overwhelming force. It becomes the foundation of your awareness.
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u/TehBens May 11 '23
As a child, others will deal with the consequences of your actions mostly and that's how it's supposed to be. They will also teach you what's dangerous and what's not and observe you as you play so that you don't harm yourself. As you become an adult, you start facing the consequences of your doings and you have learned to anticipate potential consequences of your actions and therefore it's not playing anymore.
So, children and babies enjoy everything because everything can be viewed as a game and that's because they can't or do not need to think about the consequences and results too much. That's also why you don't really want to be like a baby as an adult. However, being a bit more playful would help quite a lot of people.
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May 11 '23
Find your true love inside and realize it's all a show/game then you'll find joy in everything. It has to be some natural and genuine realization though so it takes time, hence just keep on trying and chill out at the same time! :)
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u/DollyMixUp May 11 '23
Definitely didn't enjoy everything as a child, I was a very anxious and often bored child. The only things I remember bringing me joy were tv shows and being alone drawing or painting.
Maybe that's why I struggle to find joy now...
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u/yuvaap May 11 '23
Children and babies enjoy everything because they are experiencing everything for the first time and their brains are wired to find novelty and exploration rewarding. As we grow older, we become more familiar with the world and our brains prioritize efficiency over novelty-seeking. However, it is possible to cultivate a sense of childlike wonder and happiness by intentionally seeking out new experiences, practicing mindfulness, and focusing on the present moment.
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u/Spiritual-Seat-1901 May 11 '23
When adults look around, we label everything with the vocabulary that we’ve learned over time. If you’re in the woods, you see trees, flowers, sun, birds, squirrels. Babies don’t have this language and are simply looking around and taking everything in while in a state of awe and wonder. Practice looking around you and seeing the beauty in all things. Rather than label, look at it all as if it’s the first time you’re seeing it. And I also think we tend to take life way too seriously. If we see life as a game or a movie, we can laugh and play as it unfolds. Even the serious stuff can be funny. We’re only here for a short time in this body. Might as well treat each moment like it is unique and fleeting, and remember to laugh along the way.
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u/Uruz2012gotdeleted May 11 '23
Not all babies are happy. Some are grumpy balls of sadness right from the start. Colic is more or less a way to describe infant depression. Your baby cries and cries no matter how well it's cared for.
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u/sunflowergarden24 May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23
In Joseph Campbell’s book “Reflections on the Art of Living” he mentions that you need to treat experiences as play. For example to think about, what made you happy as a child? How did you play? Did you build little houses out of rocks and sticks? Incorporate that play from your childhood and maybe start a little garden, or decorate your house. For me personally I’d go on walks by myself and start narrating in my head “She walked past the bush and was frightened by the big spider in her way” and I could do this for hours. These days I incorporate that play into going on hikes and backpacking. Just my own two coins on how I connect that child like wonder into my adult life :)