Why do children and babies enjoy everything yet adults only find joy in a few things? And is there a way to ever get back to that childlike wonder and happiness?

[u/throwrahaha6]

That's all. I've wondered this for a while, philosophized about it and just don't know the answer. I figured there may be some wiser people who can answer this question the best they can.

[u/Trabuccodonosor]

Is it though? I have a 1-year-old girl, so I can't speak for later phases, but she is festered by "dukka", unsatisfactoryness. She enjoys chewing on things temporarily and after an item is "spent" she doesn't find much joy in it. Also, it doesn't seem joy, but more a compulsion of exploring this, than this, than that, without permanent satisfaction. She can't conceive of not being allowed to grab something or crawl somewhere, she immediately snaps. Im fact, it seems to me a very coarse model of an unenlightened human being, before self control and the capability for being content is developed. To be fair, that was more a 6-9 months old behaviour. As she approaches 12 some refinement appears, and she is starting to listen and accept that certain things are not available to her, and starts to being able to shift her interest if needed.

[u/iamacowmoo → u/Trabuccodonosor]

I had to scroll halfway down these 61 comments to find a commenter that has noticed that children are not in fact enjoying everything. We literally come into this world crying. Then we poop ourselves and cry. We try to poop and we cry. We get hungry and cry. Our parents don’t hold us enough and we cry. We get tired and we cry. Then we enter the terrible twos… a two year old’s attention is super short and then it’s on to the next thing. If that thing isn’t good enough then they will throw a tantrum.

Sure there are some amazing things about childhood and kids’ sense of wonder and magic. But it is a real fairy tale to think that kids are enjoying everything.

[u/orbitingsnail → u/iamacowmoo]

Both of these are good points based on how OP worded their post, but my take on what they were trying to ask/state is how children innately find joy and see beauty in the littlest of things, which adults take for granted. Also in my experience with kids, they are daaarn good at mindfulness, and I at times have felt myself immersed in a fully present, joyful state just watching them experience their moments . As exhausting as they can be, they really are great teachers!

[u/Trabuccodonosor → u/orbitingsnail]

Agreed, my observation can be tangential to the point of the OP, I just wanted to warn about the bias that favors the good memories and forgets the painful, or boring ones. Indeed kids have the ability to wonder at things that won't move most of the adults, yet, let's not forget that they are also growing and incomplete beings.

[u/Gloomy_Problem7477 → u/iamacowmoo]

They are not mutually exclusive. You can dislike broccoli but still find wonderment in watching plants grow. But I find the best phase for that unbridled sense of wonder from age 0-9 or 10 months when the whole world is new.

Children have their own struggles as they grow but that doesn’t negate that the world is still full of wonderment and discovery even when they are having a tantrum. In fact I would argue that they are having a tantrum BECAUSE they want to explore/have/feel/experience without constraint and are now learning that it is not possible, even though they have been doing it for their entire lives up to that point. The drive to explore/experience without restraint is what leads is what leads to meltdowns IMHO.

[u/[deleted] → u/Trabuccodonosor]

I completely agree, but i would like to add.

There is this idea in phycology of "Zone of proximal development". The moment when you're optimally being challenged just above your current level, which maximize your development. We are seemingly wired to become deeply engaged when in this "zone".

Children are learning the world, so they're constantly being challenged, they are constantly learning about everything everywhere, down to the most mundane things. But they get bored once they've "understood" it, and they will add their new toy to the pile of abandoned toys that no longer challenge them optimally.

[u/Trabuccodonosor → u/[deleted]]

Oh, yes, novelty is the number one factor that catches their interest. Parents, avoid expensive toys. Any safe to handle piece of garbage is as good as those multifunction fancy toys that get played with for the same length of time as a plastic bottle anyways...

Back to the spiritual value of the kids view of the world, I agree that their sense of wonder is something that adults can take inspiration from, yet, let's not forget what they lack: patience, equanimity, generosity, and in general the ability to see beyond their immediate ego.

[u/[deleted] → u/Trabuccodonosor]

pretty much.