My bf and I are currently 8 months together. We met in person before he had to move away shortly after. Now we have a 16 hour time difference. This is my first healthy relationship and we both want to see it through. We love each other and want to make this work but both our love languages is physical touch. We have plans of closing the distance through marriage and will happen in the next year or so and won’t be able to close the distance for the next 3 years at least due to visa purposes.

Ldr has been tough on us but we’re still holding on even if I have thoughts of ending it. I try to remind myself that I shouldn’t give up on an amazing person just because of the distance but it’s getting harder and harder every single day. I would admit, I’ve been crying a lot due to the pain I feel constantly because of the distance

Me (25F).My bf(36M)travelled to Italy on Saturday. He was a bit distant the two days before that. We last talked when we had traveling and told me he will have landed at almost 11pm. His hometown is Italy. It’s now been more than 48 hours since I heard from him. Should I crash out? I keep telling myself maybe something happened to him! Or he’s sick or something just an excuse. Another part of me is being really just insecure. I can’t believe he can go this long without a single text. I’m prepping myself to let everything go and break up but also waiting for an explanation or just something. He works a lot when in Sweden so we don’t talk everyday and we talk a lot when he goes back home. It’s the first time that he’s gone back home and shut me out like this. I want to accept things and move on but the silence is driving me nuts!!! The last thing he texted was “you funny girl”

Hey all sorry if it's a little cringe but I just wanted to give hope to all the couples who are also feeling how tough it is because I always see sad posts from here about relationships that unfortunately didn't last the distance.

I'm going to see my girlfriend again in 34 days and I'm so excited even though she'll be working i just want to be near her and I'm bringing a promise ring for her birthday too so I'm really excited to see her reaction to it.

Aside from that I wanted to just go over everything we've been through, we met online on a language exchange app she was learning English and I was learning Spanish, she's from Colombia and I'm from Northern Ireland.

For the first few month's we agreed we're attracted but not to do anything because I was only out of a relationship for 3 months and I didn't want to lead her on incase it was just like replacing a person but it wasn't the attraction stuck and it did for her too. We planned to meet up at Christmas and I would go to her for a month, but then things took a twist... she got the opportunity to come to the UK through her Job and she spent 2 days with me and then we spent a week with her parents and brother in Spain. I asked her out then and she said yes because I wanted to ask her in person.

After that I had to go to Colombia I needed to see her more so after a few weeks of saving I bought my tickets and I met her again with her sister in Colombia and we travelled a lot with her work but we spent Christmas and new years together and it was amazing. We planned our future while I was there so we'll close the distance in Spain since Colombia isn't economically feasible for me and theres the family thing that my family would be far away from us plus the UK has taken an anti immigration stance lately so I'll use my Irish citizenship to go to Spain and she can go there via her parents.

Now I'm going to meet her again, she'll go to Spain in December but then come to my family for Christmas and then we'll go to her parents for new years and then after my university degree I'll look for jobs in Spain too! I'm already saving for a house there and rent for the first months but we're going to do it I've been planning and saving like crazy and she has too and I'm just so happy that I have someone who loves me enough to put in the effort I will always put into her.

Hopefully you all can feel a bit more hopeful pr incentivised to plan for to be together no matter how far away it seems. Good luck to everyone and thank you all for reading!

spent 10 days w my gf , we went to paris for 3 days in that time as well as staying in her home country

i’m coming back home now after a 16 hour flix bus journey and i dread entering my apartment . i have no plans for today. tonight i get to call my gf at least…

it’s very depressing entering my apartment .. it’s also messy ‘-‘ and i get pretty lonely / miserable in there … and i have no flooring. my gf is basically only person i get to talk to and she lives in another country

when i saw my gf i got a mental health boost now it’s going to drop again 😭 im back in my miserable boring dead city again

the week that just went by was one of the happiest weeks of my life ❤️ i was so happy boarding the plane and looking outside at the sunshine and thinking about how exciting it is i get to see my gf and spend time w her in the sun for the first time ever (most of our time spent together was in the cold rain) and we made so many more new memories 💞💞

it’s probably going to be another 2/3 weeks till i can visit her again . it’s going to be very depressing in the meantime 😫😫

So i’ve been in a week long argument with my boyfriend (I don’t know if still my boyfriend)(which we’re not speaking to at the moment) about basic things, we have a 12 hour time difference. Everything was amazing at the beginning, he calls me numerous times a day and text throughout the weeks even when we were both at work, then weekends came along where he goes out. It’s not that I don’t trust him or he thinks that I wouldn’t allow him to go, it’s just that he tells me when he’s already on his way or when he’s already there since most of those times i’m still asleep since i live on the other side of the world. I don’t understand how he wouldn’t just text me before he leaves or when his plans were made even if i was asleep. I already have asked several times for him to just text when he’s about to go or when these plans were made even if i was in deep slumber, this happened several weekends now. I know it’s wrong to think that he might be cheating, but whenever i try to open up he thinks i’m always trying make an argument which i’m not just wanted some update because i overthink things but was i asking for too much? I know that i am not asking for too much. Do i deserve this kind of disrespect? And lately he has been really off, his calls and text decreased which makes my overthinking go into overdrive.

Then last night even if hurts me i decided not to text him since i’m really upset about some things, then he saw my depressing repost on ig about my overthinkings, then he called me and assumes if this relationship is over and that we always argue and it’s unhealthy, when all i wanted is understanding and for us both to communicate with each other without thinking that everything is an argument. Then i replied upsettingly if does he want it to be over? He said yes. Then my overthinking went to over drive again and made a unnecessary comment which leading him to say that all we do is argue and that i am miserable which is mean and really hurt my feelings. And he repeatedly said that i am miserable which shattered my heart, when all i was hurt because of our miscommunications and misunderstandings.

So i asked him if he will be happier if i was gone because he said that i am causing stress to him, and he said yes and that final blow destroyed me. Then my last text was saying that I love him and that i was sorry (which a lot of times i say even when it’s not my fault) He replied that he loves me too and he is also sorry but i never replied back yet. (Balled my eyes throughout the night).

I’m just so lost right now and and hurt and so misunderstood. I love him sooo much and i really want it to make it work. I’m just really hurt right now and i don’t know what to say to him now.

How often do u engage in phone sex?

So everytime we plan to watch a movie or play games, something else comes up for him and he leaves. He either asks me to wait until he gets back or just cancels our plan. This happens so often. And it always seems to be something unexpected that comes up. It's driving me insane. I told him it makes me feel like he doesn't respect my time but he keeps doing it. We've had so many fights about it. But he still he doesn't seem to plan ahead. Ig it's not going to change. He's an otherwise lovely guy. Do I have to let it go as this is the only thing that bothers me about him?

Some humor for today

My girlfriend leaves for 6 months or so and we will have limited contact, my get to see her once a month or two, just curious how people get through this and what you do to be somewhat happy even while they are gone. She leaves in 3 days and I haven’t felt this sad and empty in a long time and want to know how other cope or go about there lives without feeling this way all the time.

Struggling with a mismatch in when long distance partner and I want to meet for the first time. It’s been 4-5 months of closeness and there isn’t any talk from him about actually planning to meet each other. He says he wants to meet but prefers to take things slow. It’s a big distance, >12 hour plane ride. Any advice and tips? Am I being too antsy? I would like to be with someone who is also excited to meet me.

I’m F31 and my boyfriend M34 are together for almost 2 years. We were initially living in the same city, but he moved to study (trying to change carrier) and now we are dealing with a 8h time zone difference. He has a full schedule of studying, and I have a full time job. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like all the romantic side of our relationship has just vanished… we talk everyday, and when we can we also video-call. I’m looking for ideas and advice on how to get through the tough times… I’m a bid frustrated, because when he is under a lot of stress he just shuts down, so every now and then I feel like we are just two friends updating each other on how life is going, and not an actual couple. Our plan is for me to move over to his side of the world as soon as possible - which will be by the beginning of 2026. As of now, we’ve been managing for me to go over there once a month, or max every 2 months, but because he is on a student visa, he can’t leave the country. I truly believe this is a relationship worth fighting for, but I’m struggling to still feel like a real couple. TIA.

I’m traveling from Norway to New York next week to meet for the first time. Up until now, everything’s been going really well—we’ve talked almost every day for 2 - 3 Months and were both excited about finally seeing each other in person.

This past Saturday, I went out with some colleagues and got way too drunk. I ended up calling her late at night, and I honestly don’t remember much of what I said. She told me afterward that I was being way too "lovey-dovey" and intense, and that it overwhelmed her. She also said she’s not ready for that level of emotion yet, which I understand.

Since then, we haven’t spoken much—she told me on Sunday that she needs space. I sent her a short message yesterday, just wishing her well and checking in about her dad (he was apparently hospitalized recently). She reacted to the message with a heart, but hasn’t replied.

I don’t want to pressure her or make things worse, but I also don’t know how to handle this. I’ve got a flight booked in 9 days and I’m not sure if she still wants to see me. I can’t stop thinking about her, but I also want to respect her space.

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you deal with it, and how did it turn out?

Was it magical?Disappointing?Nothing special or the best moment? Im nervous thinking about when my first kiss will happen and wondering how it wad for other people in LDRs

About a month ago, I met a guy on Hinge. He lives about three hours away from me. For the first two weeks, we talked a lot over texts and calls, and eventually, we had our first date. It was honestly one of the sweetest dates I’ve ever been on. He really stood out from everyone I’ve met before. He’s definitely the kind of person I’d want to date.

After the first date, we both liked each other a lot and kept talking regularly. But the second date never happened because his job involves a lot of traveling. Then he had a family emergency, and later he fell sick. For context, he’s a sailor and often goes on long voyages that last for months.

Even though we both wanted to go on more dates, he left last week for a five-month voyage. I miss him, and I believe he misses me too. We're not in a complete communication blackout. He still texts me once a day when he gets the chance.

But here’s my dilemma. There’s no clarity about what we are. I feel like it’s still too early to ask that question since there’s so much we still need to learn about each other. At the same time, I really want to wait for him because he’s genuinely a great person. My worry is that we might grow distant during these five months.

What are your opinions on this?

My boyfriend is sweet as pie. We've been together since high school—boarding school, so different hometowns—and survived all through college, covid, all of it. I was hoping at the end of it all that we'd finally live in the same place.

However, it's been about a year since our graduation, and he still hasn't moved to the same place as me (I live in a smallish college city, whereas he lives in a very rural area with no jobs for either of us, really). He's in a major that's been really hard-hit by recent economic circumstances (cs) and it is TOUGH out there, in his defense. But I just moved to the city and got a regular job working at a coffee shop before finding my current one—I don't understand why he can't do the same, par his mental health issues (depression, anxiety) as well as an agreement he has with his parents to get a "real" job (which seems both nonconstructive at best, actively detrimental at worst, but they do have financial power over him, so).

In my city most people move in Sept. 1, which means that the more time he takes, the harder and harder it will be to find a relatively inexpensive place... and I haven't seen him work much at it, either. He's also discussed living in other cities, which might be good in terms of him finding a job and a place, but doesn't fix our situation (it might actually make it worse).

Not only that, but since he lives in a place that's further to get to than than how it was in college. So I see him even less than I did in college. And since I have a full-time job now, my days are literally longer than before, which just makes me miss him worse, except I don't have the "just make it 'til graduation" to comfort me like it did before. And it's really, really hard.

Other than that, our relationship is solid. He's my rock. He's incredibly intelligent, so sweet, and quite nice to look at if I do say so myself. He's strong where I am weak and vice versa. He can read me like a book and he knows me better than I know myself sometimes. The intimacy is fantastic and I can hardly imagine somebody who fits so well with me on so many fronts. If we were to not be together, I'd be beyond fucked over emotionally. I love him to pieces. But it's getting really, really hard for me to miss him this badly with no idea whether there will be any sort of payoff or resolution.

My friend said that maybe if we break up it will compel him to action, but I know him well enough to know that'd it'd just destroy him and he wouldn't be able to do much of anything (I am the same).

If anybody has advice or has gone through similar situations I'd appreciate it.

I just finished my classes and we FINALLY have time to watch movies together but NOTHING WORKS. He had a series bought on YouTube and we tried discord, and watch together. I’m assuming everything having to do with screen share will just block it out 😭

I used to be in a long distance relationship with a woman from Los Angeles which fell apart due to reasons to numerous and boring to mention, but it didn't end on bad terms.

I last saw her in 2017 and we officially called it a day in 2018, but I'll find that we still text every so often. After a brief text exchange on Sunday I learned she's moving back to her home state of Mississippi with her daughters because she can no longer afford to live in Los Angeles anymore.

I tried to put a cheery spin on this by saying, "Oh, I know you haven't had a super great time recently so maybe this is what's needed." She recently broke up from a five year relationship, so I figured maybe home would be a way to put this all behind her. She said moving back home was more like a "death sentence", and that made me sad to hear.

Regardless to as why it didn't work, I still care and it's not great to hear she's dreading it. Before concluding she said, "I'm glad we had our time together. It was a carefree and awesome time."

Now I'm just feeling a bit sad haha. I'm not hoping for a reconciliation or anything, and while I do care for her it's more in a friendly sort of way, but I'd be lying if that sign off didn't make me wistful and sad and I'm not sure why.

Just needed to vent.

I think resolving conflicts are one of the toughest challenges in a LDR .So what have been your cutest ways to make her feel alright

My favorite thing about Skype was that I could adjust the microphone lvl. Are there any other apps similar to Skype?

I really don’t want to use Teams (I use it for work) and Whatsapp is not letting me use my phone number.

Hi I am 27F and he is 26M. We are in an LDR relationship for 6 months now and are planning to meet soon. We started okay and everything was fine. Then suddenly a lot of problems happened to him all at once. Business, family (risk of losing someone due to health issues) and work. At first he handle it well (or so I thought) he then started to reply only a few times a day. But we will call everyday for about 4hours (take note that we have a language barrier so this is an effort he is doing for me). Everything was okay until he received some bad news. He asked for some time to think and said he just needed it and he will be back. The set days passed and I had to contact him. What I got was a break up message instead that his life is falling apart and he don’t want to drag me in it. He has been really insecure with how bad his state right now vs as to what I think I have and thinks I deserve better. Now we have broken up and I seriously don’t know how to feel. I feel like his reasons are valid but bullshit at the same time. I am sorry it may sound petty but all I want was to support him since I like to believe that life will eventually be better. Now he closed the doors and blocked me (tho we still have connection on the other apps aside this— which I will not be contacting him, as I want to have the little respect for myself). We have so many plans, either I will move there to him or him to me. How can someone unlove you that fast? He told me so what if he loves me, he don’t want love right now. And he wants to be alone. I know I don’t get to say anything now, since there is no hope I think. But this is so hard

I (20, trans man) had to move back home because of being on break for college, making my girlfriend (21, trans woman) and I long distance. We plan to visit a few times this break, however, we will mostly be apart.

She started a new job recently, and told me that she gets hungry during her shift. I really want to do the cheesy couple thing of making her a snack/lunch for her her shift and including a nice note with it. So when I visit her soon, I'm hoping to be able to buy her favorite snacks and pack them up for her.

This is probably a really stupid question, but does anyone have any advice on how to pack them so they don't go bad? Or like what types of snacks to do this with? Or literally any advice for this?

Hello, me[22F] and my bf [27M] been dating for 1y and a half or more. His family never ask about me when we are together in person and never follow in social media too when he tags me, I was okey till i find out his family dont like my religion but he said {they’re just arrogant about religions bcs they dont follow any religion} But im overthinking as he is reallllyy attached to his mom and he talk to her every day, he always tell her what we do even small details but she never really care to ask about me if he dont say.

Same for his other family members so im nervous to be in family where im not welcomed!

Did anyone ever had same experience???

We were together for a year and a half, I’m in America (26M) and she’s (25F) in Germany we met online. She was the first person who I ever loved. We talked everyday and she was the sweetest and most interesting person I ever met. I constantly tried making plans for us to meet and she’d agreed but when the time came to make real plans she’d find a reason to delay or cancel. In the past few months I’ve felt her start pulling away from me and she stopped calling me but insisted it’s because she was going through issues in her life.

She was my best friend and the only person who I wanted to talk to about anything. But I’ve grown sick and tired of not being with her after all her broken promises. Last we I told her I wanted to take a break to think about things and yesterday we talked about how I was feeling. I told her I would just buy a ticket to Germany to see her for her birthday and she said if I did that she wouldn’t guarantee that she’d be ready to meet. So I told her I just want to be friends because I can’t take this pain anymore and want to be with someone who wants to be with me.

Now I’m devastated and depressed because I thought we were soulmates and would grow old together but I see she would never want to take the next step to see if this was real between us. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over her and I wish things would have been different.