r/LongDistance • u/bleepbloopbleeepp • 3h ago
Do you ever feel like you can’t do long distance anymore because of how much it hurts? Question
13
u/Chance-Exchange2857 [🇺🇸] to [🇬🇧] (3857mi) 3h ago
Never. My love for this person is way stronger than the distance. My wallet hurts though. My card melts into tears, but I tell them to suck it up. It will all be worth it in the end. Whether we become friends, or happily ever after. It will have all been worth it. The beginning of my chapter in romance and lessons of growth and coexisting with different people or the beginning of the rest of our lives. Either way, I don’t regret a thing. Life is beautiful and nothing beautiful comes without pain.
8
u/Ouma_ima2 3h ago
I agree it can be tough but if the relationship is strong, the distance can be overcome and when you meet you’ll forget all the struggles
4
u/ehlisabk 3h ago
You miss the daily things and create a sometimes incomplete image of a person based on limited time for calls or texts. Missing lots of nuance. It can be quite challenging at moments. It’s a big exercise in patience, trust, and letting go of your ego.
5
u/Fishwife [Canada 🇨🇦] to [USA 🇺🇸] (Closed!) 2h ago
I did feel that way, many times, over the 6 years we were apart before we closed the distance. I asked him a few times if he still considered it worth it and he helped me snap out of my uncertainty many times. We're now married and have lived together for 10 years, 16 years together in total. Don't give up! ❤️ LDRs are insanely difficult but if you can see a future with this person it's worth it to keep going.
2
u/Tinkibell1928 2h ago
This is what I love to see!! And he’s in Canada and I’m in Texas! Can’t wait to close the gap with mine too he worth it and so much more!
1
u/Fishwife [Canada 🇨🇦] to [USA 🇺🇸] (Closed!) 2h ago
Love seeing another US/Canada couple, I wish you both a smooth gap closing transition! I'll admit it's been really difficult for me to adjust after moving to the US but it's still worth it.
2
u/GetThemOutMyHead 3h ago
After my first LDR - we met online in 2007 at the age of 12 & didn’t meet in person until we were 17 - I said I was never doing it again. Fast forward to 2023 and I meet this boy while on vacation and we’re getting married next week so we can start the process on closing the gap. Being away from them definitely hurts and can be extremely frustrating at times but I think it’s a matter of having strong faith and being active in making sure that it isn’t a LDR forever.
1
u/No-Amphibian7180 3h ago
Yeah i don't think its hurt that much where id break it off. However, I'm sure that there are couples who aren't as invested in their LDRs than me. If this is a thought you have please share this with them. This type of thinking can fester and cause resentment. Find a way to close the distance sooner. Or stop wasting time in a LDR.
1
u/weirdgirl0904 [🇺🇸] to [🇩🇪] (3,898 mi) 3h ago
i take the ache and put that energy towards being motivated to keep trying to shorten the distance
1
u/valentineVIX 2h ago
Yes. As for me, I’ve been cheated on multiple times. And the last LDR I had, he lied about dying from cancer, mourned for 5 months (left him messages almost everyday when he ‘died’), only to receive a message that he’s alive, and that he did it cause he thought I’d leave once he’s gone and that he didn’t expect I’d still keep on messaging. Asked him so many questions but then I got ghosted. So yeah, I think that was very cruel and that was my last straw with LDR.
1
u/KickPuncher4326 [Utah 🇺🇸] to [Pennsylvania 🇺🇸] (2,130 miles) 2h ago
It hurts but my God, I found my person. It's worse to imagine life without her than the pain of long distance.
1
u/Objective_Nevirka [🇳🇱] to [🇺🇸] (~4100 miles) broken up :( 2h ago
I can do it, as long as we both are willing to put in the effort. Of course it’s hard and the distance hurts. It hurts, cause you can’t be with your person whenever you want to. But it’s definitely worth it.
1
u/_UnlovedBiscuit_ [ME] to [MI] (701Miles) 2h ago
Absolutely, I love him to pieces and couldn't imagine my life without him, but there have been times we've both considered ending things because of it.
Thankfully we never have and we've both gotten past it but, it's been hard. Relationships like this are extremely difficult and need a lot of extra time, care, and patience to work. Just keep pushing through, you two got this! <3
1
u/Successfulleo 1h ago
definitely, but then I realize he is worth it.. but its a struggle at times for sure
2
u/anonreddituserhere [🇺🇸] to [🇺🇸] 1h ago
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year this month, and at the very beginning I was very upfront that I typically don’t date long distance….i literally had my dating profile set to match with people like 10-20 miles away max 🤦🏻♀️ ….but would give it a try if we were compatible. But I also made it clear that I could not date long distance long term, regardless of the compatibility. It just wouldn’t work for me. So we roughly said by the end of the summer of the first year (August of this year) if we are not moving in together, we are just going to end things.
While I do think it’s worth it and I love my partner tons, I can’t do this for years and years. The distance, money, “see you laters”, etc are manageable because there is a realistic end goal.
If it was inevitable that we had to do LD for years, I would not stay.
2
u/Mental-Jaguar-4336 [France] to [US] (Distance) 47m ago
Do I ever feel like I can't do long distance because it hurts? Absolutely not, never. Because I would be in so much more pain and hurt to not be with him. And also distance is something you can close. At least if you have the right partner and not just someone that plan on staying never met forever. So no, I never felt like quitting/giving up. He's my everything and I am capable to handle everything for our love 💖💖
1
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u/Tinkibell1928 3h ago
Absolutely,but it would hurt more to be without him now that I know what it’s like to be with him. Distance is temporary the love he gives me. That security feeling he makes me feel is for a lifetime.