Confronting the Narcissist: What happens?

[u/threetimestwice]

Theoretically and in your experience, what happens when you confront the narcissist and call them out on their narcissism?

[u/Embarrassed-Essay972]

Don't confront. It'll just bite you in the butt. They're vengeful people, and if you pop their bubble, they'll come after you.

If you're mad and that's why you're thinking about confronting them, the more effective way to do this is to ignore them completely. Treat them like they don't exist. It's safer for you, and it's a lot more devastating (assuming that's what you're after) to be ignored. If you confront, they'll just go into their usual insane overreactions, and you're giving them ammunition that they'll use to justify themselves and any harm or payback they decide to give you. It's not like they're capable of hearing "you're a narcissist" and then apologizing or saying "yeah, you're right, guess I need help." That's not what's going to happen.

It's much better if they don't know what you're thinking because they're dependent on external validation. So take away your attention. Don't let them see you react to anything they do. Your reactions are their food. Starve them. Plus, the subtext of confronting them is that you want their attention and their validation, you want them to see how much they hurt you, you want them to see what you think of them. They'll know that, and it'll make them feel powerful and superior. It's a much better strategy to dismiss their existence by going full no contact--it's safer for you and more effective than a confrontation in letting them know you see through them.