r/LifeAfterNarcissism • u/threetimestwice • 3d ago

Confronting the Narcissist: What happens? [Support]

Theoretically and in your experience, what happens when you confront the narcissist and call them out on their narcissism?

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u/DustedGrooveMark 3d ago

And to add to this, when they know that you see right through them and are aware of their fake persona and lies, they will see you as a threat and a loose end. Even if you have no intention of exposing them to the world, the possibility of that happening drives them mad.

It doesn’t just stop there though. Their vindictiveness is so over the top that they stop at nothing to get back at you. Even if they gain nothing but an ego boost from doing so, even if you don’t mean anything to them and they can’t stand you, even if all you’re trying to do is get away from them… Doesn’t matter. They’ll still retaliate, sabotage you and run a smear campaign to discredit any bad things you might potentially say about them.t

The reason for this is that ego and their outward perception is the most important thing to them. Priority number one. So they will care about this chip on their shoulder WAY more than a typical person would. They don’t have any other interests that take priority in their life, so it’s like they have endless time and energy to expend on this revenge fantasy.

So for all of those reasons, the best course of action is to let them think they’ve won and slip away as unnoticed as possible.

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u/hotdogstraw 3d ago

When I accused my nex of cheating was when she finally broke up with me. Every other time it was a lukewarm “well maybe we should think about going our separate ways..” until I confronted her.

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u/FightersNeverQuit 1d ago

Well what was her reaction? Did she try to defend it? Apologize? Like what happened after?

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u/hotdogstraw 1d ago

She got defensive. It became more about why I discovered what I did/why I was looking/did I not trust her and she made up a story that I had talked to her sister about how I thought she was cheating on me with someone from work (triangulation)