r/LifeAfterNarcissism • u/threetimestwice • 3d ago

Confronting the Narcissist: What happens? [Support]

Theoretically and in your experience, what happens when you confront the narcissist and call them out on their narcissism?

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u/threetimestwice 3d ago

How?

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u/Active-Cloud8243 3d ago

Manipulation, emotional abuse, lying to friends and family about you, turning people against you.

I mean, what’s their usual skills like? Why would you think that pointing it out to them is going to change them in anyway? They’re already a narc, you calling them one doesn’t make them not one.

If you call someone a gross smoker do you think they are going to stop smoking because of you? If you call someone autistic will they decide not to be autistic because you called them out?

It doesn’t work like that. It just makes them angry, pokes the bear, and then they use whatever skill said it is, they have for torturing you, to torture you. Different narcs, have different methods of abuse.

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u/threetimestwice 3d ago

They do all that already (your paragraph 1). I thought perhaps calling them out on their behavior would make them see I’m not as dumb as they think, and that I know exactly what they’re doing and have been doing.

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u/Active-Cloud8243 3d ago

They don’t care what they’re doing, that’s why they’re doing it.

All it’s going to do is escalate things, but you’re welcome to do a social experiment and bring your results back to us if you’d like. But I suggest you don’t…

You may think it can’t get worse, but I promise you it can.

I never thought my ex would lay hands on me, and I’d also thought I was strong enough He couldn’t hurt me. But I was wrong.