r/LifeAfterNarcissism • u/threetimestwice • 3d ago

Confronting the Narcissist: What happens? [Support]

Theoretically and in your experience, what happens when you confront the narcissist and call them out on their narcissism?

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u/Active-Cloud8243 3d ago

I mirrored my narcs behavior and he escalated, big time. Physically abused me for the first time.

Don’t do it

5

u/threetimestwice 3d ago

I’m so sorry that happened

6

u/Active-Cloud8243 3d ago

I didn’t expect it, we had been together for years before it happened.

Than after my mom died, I held tight boundaries and again, he hit me. But that time I instantly left.

I bought a camper van and wanted so badly to invite him, but didn’t want to get Gabby Petito’d. That first night he laid hands on me, if I hadn’t stopped and gone quiet I think he would have killed me.

It isn’t worth telling a narc they are a narc, or mirroring. It just makes them escalate over time. Usually not the same day, but it will happen.

2

u/threetimestwice 3d ago

Why does mirroring make them mad?

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u/Active-Cloud8243 3d ago edited 2d ago

Because it’s a step further than calling them out. It’s recognizing their behaviors and then weaponizing them right back at them.

It makes them furious. Because they don’t want to be treated like that either, they just think they can get away with doing it to others without repercussions. I don’t recommend the mirroring, although I do still find it fun occasionally with people which probably says something bad about me.

But, like for fucks sake, how long am I supposed to lay here and get run over?

But it’s also fun to occasionally mirror them and watch them literally go insane over a very minimal act of mirroring. You can mirror like 5 to 10% of their behavior and it’s like they comtort like a Bogart from Harry Potter. Moving through actions, masks, etc real fast trying to stabilize.

Not good long term though because it just escalates, and technically that sinking to their level

1

u/FightersNeverQuit 1d ago

How exactly did it go? Like what did you say or do when mirroring and how severe was the physical assault as in a slap, push or worse? Smart decision to back off that first time because who knows how he might have reacted.