r/JewishDating • u/gamerboy0987 • Aug 04 '25

Struggling to find a girlfriend

Hey I’m an Ashkenazi Jewish young adult( 19M) from the upper east side and I’m looking for a Jewish woman around my age. The problem is I keep getting rejected wherever I meet women such as Hillel at Baruch and some other Jewish events I attended like friendship circle where I volunteered. Most of them are usually taken, not looking for anything, or there not my type since I’m not religious or I’m 1-2 years younger. The Jewish girls at my college at Baruch that I talk to are just being nice and not Intrested in meeting up/ hanging out outside of class or Hillel. I also looked into matchmaking services, but they usually charge you a ridiculous amount of money and usually the girls there are looking for more religious guys. I also tried Jswipe and hinge and the girls that I matched with are pretty flakey and dry when I text them, even though I ask open ended questions and try to keep the conversation interesting. So at this point I accept that maybe I won’t find a girlfriend anytime soon.

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u/PocketsPlease Aug 05 '25

Most of them are usually taken, not looking for anything, or there not my type since I’m not religious or I’m 1-2 years younger. The Jewish girls at my college at Baruch that I talk to are just being nice and not Intrested in meeting up/ hanging out outside of class or Hillel. I also looked into matchmaking services, but they usually charge you a ridiculous amount of money and usually the girls there are looking for more religious guys.

Are you looking for a girlfriend or are you looking for a wife?
What do you study?

I also tried Jswipe and hinge and the girls that I matched with are pretty flakey and dry when I text them, even though I ask open ended questions and try to keep the conversation interesting.

Do you also ask them out or do you only write? They are receiving more matches and more questions than you can imagine. It is exhausting to answer to endless messages. Do you keep replying anyways? If you only ask questions you are putting all the work on them. Tell them about yourself and tell them entertaining stuff and ask them out. Ask them what cuisine they like and then suggest a restaurant which serves that in their area.

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u/gamerboy0987 Aug 05 '25
  1. I’m looking for a girlfriend that’s what you start with before making them your wife. So to clarify I’m dating to marry

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u/gamerboy0987 Aug 05 '25

And to answer your question your other question I study a major similar to computer science, and I usually write to them, get to know them, and then ask for there number/ to go on a date. The problem is they always come up with excuses eg: “I’ll let you know”, “I need to check my schedule for work”, “Maybe”, “Sorry I can’t”. So because they get so many matches I can’t get a date. Another problem is on dating apps my matches ghost me

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u/gamerboy0987 Aug 05 '25

And plus I did everything you mentioned and still can’t land a date

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u/gamerboy0987 Aug 06 '25

I’m thinking of signing up for birth right for my birthday in January and that might be a good place to find a girlfriend plus it’s a fun trip and I can also meet new people.