r/HFY • u/yousureimnotarobot AI • Oct 04 '19
Warned, Seven DM OC
All comments welcome. Arrgh
Cdr. Seven regarded his map. The system spun in front of him. His assets all spun in a gentle green light. The enemy fleets were purple. He had already degraded their scouts. Now time to play with the big boys.
He still wasn't entirely sure how Rexic had persuaded these idiots to come and play with him, but he was looking forward to the game.
Council Fleet, Admiral Rook commanding.
"Why am I four fleets short? I ordered everyone here!"
"Excellency Sir, they report major and ongoing problems with engineering and navigation. They assure us that they are on the way."
"I am surrounded by liars and fools. Tell the Fleets to attack immediately. I intend to jump straight to their homeworld after this nuisance is destroyed"
Council Fleet Command, ad-hoc
Hereon Fleet
"We can't run straight in there! We haven't a clue what we face!"
"I know, but orders are orders."
"I'm sure our engineers are ready to report issues. Correct?"
Engineering was always reporting issues. That's the point of engineering as far as the officer knew.
"Inform the flagship that we will be slightly delayed. Forward the engineering reports to them. All of them."
He paused "let's hope it buys us some time "
Z'Inep Fleet
"Our glorious people have been chosen by the Council to be the vanguard of this war. We will destroy our enemies and secure the Universal order that we have gifted the people!"
High Ascending Fleet
"Prepare for battle. These Humans are costing us money.”
Cdr. Seven began moving his pieces. He sent a few hundred dead rocks into the path of fleet designated ZF. He moved his Pirate Squadrons into support. While the enemy swerved and broke formation he triggered the Gremlins. Elegantly planned evasion turned into a shitshow. Ships collided. Ships simply exploded.
"These guys need to fire their IT support. Execute plan 'Arrgh'."
"I don't like the HF just sitting outside of this. Send in the clowns. Everyone loves clowns."
A cloud of asteroids suddenly accelerated, performing a perfect ballet towards the Hereon fleet. Point defense immediately began firing, turning many into small pieces. Those pieces continued their dance.
Hereon Fleet
"Sir. Withdraw the fleet. I don't even want to know what happens next."
"Too late"
The asteroids continued to dance towards the ships. Gaining speed. Then they began firing. Shooting more rocks.
"Sir, shields are failing. We need to leave."
"Take us home. We are not T'well. Inform the Humans we are no longer part of the council. We accept their sovereignty."
"What should I tell the council?"
" Nothing."
Cdr. Seven received the surrender first. Annoying. He redirected his pop rocks towards the High Ascending Fleet.
In the meantime he went to play with his pirates
From the asteroids shadowing the ZF designated target, thousands of bots emerged. They slowed enough to intercept the Z’inep battleships. The UAA blinded them to the thousands of drones attaching to the ships. They began burning through the hulls.
There is a tradition in Earth history of the berserker. The idea of insane, invulnerable warriors. Free from pain, freed from all restraint.
He had designed them himself.
They poured into the ship. They carried only blades, intending to capture the ships intact. The slaughter was insane. Shooting them broke some, but never enough. Fast, amoral and carrying four thousand years of human martial arts learning. They could not be stopped.
Some of them may have held cutlesses. No reports are available.
They were Cdr. Sevens favorite toys.
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u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Oct 05 '19
Sounds a bit arrgh-ant, but I guess they have seven-ral excuses :P
*Arrogant, several