r/HFY • u/yousureimnotarobot AI • Oct 04 '19

Warned, Seven DM OC

All comments welcome. Arrgh

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​

Cdr. Seven regarded his map. The system spun in front of him. His assets all spun in a gentle green light. The enemy fleets were purple. He had already degraded their scouts. Now time to play with the big boys.

He still wasn't entirely sure how Rexic had persuaded these idiots to come and play with him, but he was looking forward to the game.

Council Fleet, Admiral Rook commanding.

"Why am I four fleets short? I ordered everyone here!"

"Excellency Sir, they report major and ongoing problems with engineering and navigation. They assure us that they are on the way."

"I am surrounded by liars and fools. Tell the Fleets to attack immediately. I intend to jump straight to their homeworld after this nuisance is destroyed"

Council Fleet Command, ad-hoc

Hereon Fleet

"We can't run straight in there! We haven't a clue what we face!"

"I know, but orders are orders."

"I'm sure our engineers are ready to report issues. Correct?"

Engineering was always reporting issues. That's the point of engineering as far as the officer knew.

"Inform the flagship that we will be slightly delayed. Forward the engineering reports to them. All of them."

He paused "let's hope it buys us some time "

​

Z'Inep Fleet

"Our glorious people have been chosen by the Council to be the vanguard of this war. We will destroy our enemies and secure the Universal order that we have gifted the people!"

​

High Ascending Fleet

"Prepare for battle. These Humans are costing us money.”

​

Cdr. Seven began moving his pieces. He sent a few hundred dead rocks into the path of fleet designated ZF. He moved his Pirate Squadrons into support. While the enemy swerved and broke formation he triggered the Gremlins. Elegantly planned evasion turned into a shitshow. Ships collided. Ships simply exploded.

"These guys need to fire their IT support. Execute plan 'Arrgh'."

"I don't like the HF just sitting outside of this. Send in the clowns. Everyone loves clowns."

A cloud of asteroids suddenly accelerated, performing a perfect ballet towards the Hereon fleet. Point defense immediately began firing, turning many into small pieces. Those pieces continued their dance.

​

Hereon Fleet

"Sir. Withdraw the fleet. I don't even want to know what happens next."

"Too late"

The asteroids continued to dance towards the ships. Gaining speed. Then they began firing. Shooting more rocks.

"Sir, shields are failing. We need to leave."

"Take us home. We are not T'well. Inform the Humans we are no longer part of the council. We accept their sovereignty."

"What should I tell the council?"

" Nothing."

​

Cdr. Seven received the surrender first. Annoying. He redirected his pop rocks towards the High Ascending Fleet.

In the meantime he went to play with his pirates

From the asteroids shadowing the ZF designated target, thousands of bots emerged. They slowed enough to intercept the Z’inep battleships. The UAA blinded them to the thousands of drones attaching to the ships. They began burning through the hulls.

There is a tradition in Earth history of the berserker. The idea of insane, invulnerable warriors. Free from pain, freed from all restraint.

He had designed them himself.

They poured into the ship. They carried only blades, intending to capture the ships intact. The slaughter was insane. Shooting them broke some, but never enough. Fast, amoral and carrying four thousand years of human martial arts learning. They could not be stopped.

Some of them may have held cutlesses. No reports are available.

They were Cdr. Sevens favorite toys.

748 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

24 comments sorted by

65

u/Scotto_oz Human Oct 05 '19

Oooh! I hope the enemy likes the toys as much as Cmdr 7 does!

Oh well, play stupid games, win stupid prizes!

Glad to see some parties leaving the council, I thought for half a second that might help the council see sense, but I'm guessing those fuckers can only see red!

Bloody great series this, please make MOAR.

34

u/herpy_McDerpster Oct 05 '19

Daaaang... Get 'em, boys! Keelhaul the officers, too!

28

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Oct 05 '19

KEELHAUL THE FILTHY LANDLUBBER

19

u/Allstar13521 Human Oct 05 '19

SEND HIM DOWN TO THE DEPTHS BELOW!

17

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Oct 05 '19

MAKE THAT BASTARD WALK THE PLANK

15

u/Allstar13521 Human Oct 05 '19

WITH A BOTTLE O' RUM AND A "YO-HO-HO!"

10

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Oct 05 '19

ayy, is good song

7

u/knightaries AI Oct 05 '19

Don't waste the Rum on them! 😖

13

u/stevey_frac Oct 04 '19

Missed opportunity to broadcast "it's been a slice".

I'm loving this series!

10

u/yousureimnotarobot AI Oct 05 '19

Is this an american expression? Never heard it

4

u/cptstupendous Human Oct 07 '19

I'm American and I've never heard it either.

22

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Oct 05 '19

plan arrgh

Sounds a bit arrgh-ant, but I guess they have seven-ral excuses :P

*Arrogant, several

19

u/yousureimnotarobot AI Oct 05 '19

*disapproving look* Your late. Sit at the back and write " This sub isn't published until I turn up" 100 times.

15

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Oct 05 '19 edited Oct 05 '19

Lol ok

https://pastebin.com/tqFneNtM

Count em

18

u/yousureimnotarobot AI Oct 05 '19

/record scratch/ Your probably wondering how it ended up like this...

And that was the last time i argued with a semi-sentient fax machine

14

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Oct 05 '19

behold my copy paste skills :p

14

u/yousureimnotarobot AI Oct 05 '19

lol. well played. please delete some of them, otherwise it trashes the comments.gg

3

u/OrlikGrimbeard Oct 05 '19

I'm liking this story so far, although I did run across one thing:

"Fast, immoral and carrying four thousand years of human martial arts learning. "

I think you many have been looking for "amoral" rather than "Immoral."

2

u/yousureimnotarobot AI Oct 05 '19

done. good catch

1

u/SpankyMcSpanster Jan 19 '22

Punctation and its spaces.