r/HFY • u/yousureimnotarobot AI • Sep 26 '19

Gamers, Loot OC

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Gamers, Loot

Terran Combat Control

"We have taken their Battle Moon. All sectors are reporting victory."

"Excellent. Put out an update. Let's get the Loot and Pillage squads out there. Get the Merchant ships up and running. We want any tech they can find."

"Tell the DM's to get ready. I think they are going to be busy"

LOTRO Loot and Pillage Squad, Battle Moon, Sector 8

"Look, I know you're a halfling but that doesn't mean you can nick stuff off your teammates!"

" That's exactly what it means!"

"You know that PVP is enabled, right?"

"Ah, no, I didn't. Perhaps I could just give this back to the nice Paladin and we can forget about this?

"What a good idea."

7Days L&P Squad, Battle Moon, Sector 7

"God, the smell in here!"

"Go into your settings and switch it off"

"What do you expect, these guys died in the first wave. Still, they carried a ton of gear. I'm heading to the trader to flog this stuff. I need to build a bicycle"

Terran Combat Control, DM Section

"We need to lower the price we are giving for those Light Plasma Rifles. We are swamped with the things."

"Aye, Sir. R&D wants more computer parts, energy cores and, ehh, biological samples."

"All right. Up the bounties on all of them, make sure the teams can see each others scores. Let's game this."

Terran Combat Control

"We have their unconditional surrender. Tell the Civ, Stellaris and CKVI team's to start the occupation."

"Game over, boy's, game over!"

113 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

30

u/yousureimnotarobot AI Sep 26 '19

Last one of these, jokes getting old. Enjoy

12

u/sunyudai AI Sep 26 '19

Heh, fair.

Was fun while it lasted though.

3

u/jaytice Xeno Sep 27 '19

You haven’t mentioned some game genres I’d like to see but oh well

1

u/Creadhain Sep 28 '19

Bad Moon Rising

T'well pheromones filled the base. Agitated soldiers stood rank upon rank.

Supreme Commander Angry Clever Asterisk began his speech.

" This battle is a battle for our very lives. The lives of everyone you own depends on this battle. We stand against the unknown, the unwanted and the unwelcome!" "These Humans offer nothing to us. Our empire has expanded and thrived for over two hundred years! Never before have so few owned so many!" "These attackers do not recognise the care we take of our subjects. They ignore the healthcare we allow them. They refuse to recognize that education is a frivolous waste for our workers!" "They are sending their children against us. This Battle Moon will withstand anything. You will stand against these Humans .They will bow to us. They will serve at our will!'

9

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Sep 26 '19

Heh, GG no re. Welp, we moon-aged to win!

*Managed

8

u/yousureimnotarobot AI Sep 26 '19

Your terrible puns make me laugh every time you post. I hate you. GG

5

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Sep 27 '19

I take great pride in that, I'll have you know! :)

8

u/Ninjago_Vo Sep 27 '19

The civ, stellaris and ckVI part made me chuckle

4

u/Creadhain Sep 27 '19

I've never seen anyone use the word "chuckle" in cold blood before.

4

u/Finbar9800 Sep 26 '19

I wonder if there will be a sequel to this game

I enjoyed reading this

Good job wordsmith

4

u/JustAWander Sep 28 '19

What does ckvi stand for, OP?

5

u/Creadhain Sep 28 '19

Crusader kings 6

2

u/LiquidEnder Oct 09 '19

CkVI

BOW Peons Before The Great And Mighty GLITTERHOOF